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Meet the Spartans
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken
Davitian, Kevin Sorbo |
| MPAA Rated: |
PG-13 |
| Released By: |
20th
Century Fox |
| Web Site: |
www.meetthespartans.com |
| Kiddie Movie: |
Only if you really
hate them. |
| Date Movie: |
See "Kiddie
Movie." |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
Carmen wears some
nice outfits. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
Only in a totally
fake-looking way. |
| Action: |
Nope. |
| Laughs: |
Ehh. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
The "Grand Theft
Auto" scene. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
None. |
| Directed By: |
Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer |
| Produced By: |
Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer,
Peter Safran |
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Meet the Spartans
A Movie Review |
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There is a saying that is so last year, or maybe it is so
last two years ago, but it really is the best way to
describe the movie "Meet the Spartans." That saying is
simply: "It is what it is." It may not be great, it may not
be totally sucky, it just is what it is.
What "Meet the Spartans" is, is a spoof of the movie
"300," in the spirit of "Scary Movie," yet pretty much
carrying on the laziness that the franchise has developed
into, a la "Epic Movie," "Date Movie," and "Scary Movie 4."
The easy jokes are played out as much as humanly possible,
namely the fake looking abs and gay looking outfits the
Spartans have and wear, with Sean Maquire playing the lead
as Leonidas. In this Sparta the men great each other with
tongue kisses, while the men great the women with a high
five, which, of course, is even more ludicrous since Queen
Margo is played by Carmen Elektra. Anyway, instead of 300
Spartans to fight Xerxes (played by Ken Davitian from
Borat
fame), only 13 come along, and we get treated to bad jokes about
"American Idol," "Stomp the Yard," Britney and K-Fed,
"Shrek," "America’s Next Top Model," "Ghost Rider," and what
the hell, let's bash Paris Hilton some more. The problem is
that the jokes aren’t that creative and the "Look-A-Likes"
pretty much don’t look anything like who they are supposed
to be making fun of.
I do have to admit that as King of The Land of the Easily
Amused I did find myself chuckle here and there, and found
the spoofing of "Grand Theft Auto" pretty funny, but can’t
we get more creative than blurring out the crotches of
Britney, Lindsay, and Paris?
The movie clocks in, technically, at about 84 minutes
long, which for those of you who can’t do the calculation
means about an hour and 24 minutes. In reality, though,
skipping the credits, I think the movie was more like an
hour and 15 minutes. Not really a bargain for your buck, but
probably better since you won’t be subjected to another 10
minutes of brain-numbing fun like the Spartan Sonio (Travis Van
Winkle) getting decapitated by a diaper-wearing, fake Rocky
(Dean Cochran), and really, do we ever need to hear from the
"Leave Britney Alone" dude again?
For being, sadly, what this franchise has become, and
being "is what it is," I’ll give "Meet the Spartans" 1 ½
star out of 5 with the only reason achieving that level
being ½ star because Carmen Elektra looked hot, ½ star for
the "Grand Theft Auto" scene, and ½ star for Xerxes turning
into Xerxesatron.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!
L8R!!! |
