Uncle Nick


Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 81 Minutes
From: Dark Sky Films
Available on DVD, Blu-ray, and Online:  November 1, 2016
Get it via : Amazon | iTunes

Uncle NickI guess I was at that age when I was old enough to like baseball, but too young for my parents to explain to me what happened at the Ten Cent Beer game, a legendary debacle of fan sportsmanship resulting in a bunch of drunk, unruly fans ruining a lovely day at the ballpark for those who just wanted to see a ballgame.

Who knew you could build a Christmas movie around the progression of events at the Ten Cent Beer Game, but the folks of “Uncle Nick” did a pretty good job.

Continue reading Uncle Nick

Believe Me

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
Andy Labis

I know. I read the press release for “Believe Me.” And yes, I know the synopsis mentioned a group of college kids who figured out a great way to make a quick buck, namely by scamming Christians to donating money to their phony-baloney charity, and then said kids would realize the true meaning of being good people. And finally, I know that’s what the movie ends up being about, but I so wanted it to flip directions and be a full parody of Christian fundraising. Instead, yes, our foursome realized the error of their ways and became good people again, until, “I, um.”

Continue reading Believe Me

On the Road

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:04 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

On the Road
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sam Riley, Garrett Hedlund, Kristen Stewart, Kirsten Dunst, Amy Adams, Viggo Mortensen
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: IFC Films
Blu-ray Release Date: August 6, 2013
Kiddie Movie: There is sex, drugs, and jazz. Send them to bed.
Date Movie: If she likes sex, drugs, jazz, and a long, drawn-out tale of boys and a girl travelling across the country.
Gratuitous Sex: Quite a bit.
Gratuitous Violence: Ehh.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: Sadly even some of the more shocking scenes didn’t shock me.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Walter Salles

I wanted to like “On the Road” a lot more than I did, I think mostly because I think I was supposed to. I guess that’s not a great start for a review, at least if you are thinking of getting the movie, but there was a part of me just waiting for Sal’s travels to end.

“On the Road” is the film adaptation of the novel by Jack Kerouac by the same name. Having not read the book, whether or not the movie is a fair adaptation of the book I couldn’t tell you, but I do know that what seems like should be an interesting story of the travels of a young writer across the highways and byways of these United States turns into, at least for me, an uninteresting after uninteresting story of Sal the writer, played by Sam Riley, and Dean the ex-con, played by Garrett Hedlund, with Dean’s woman, Marylou (Kristen Stewart) along for the ride. Sure, they come across all kinds of characters in their journeys, and sure, all of them being kind of young they all seem to be searching for life’s meaning, but after a while I just wanted to tell them to stop and finally tell me exactly what is going on.

Sure, Kristen Stewart isn’t her normally brooding self that we know and love/hate from “The Twilight Saga” stuff, and she’s actually kind of a spitfire, but as the movie plods along from one escapade to another, I just got bored.

From the critical acclaim that the book has received over the years, I’m thinking that, in the end, it’s probably a story best left to the pages of a Kindle. The movie looked great, especially bringing a lot of the periodness as it was set in the late 50’s, and the scenery of the United States and the parlay into Mexico with a giant joint were beautifully shot, but as Jack/Sal was punching a line into his typewriter at the end, “I first met Dean…”, I was glad the story was over.

Maybe it was my mood at the time, but I doubt it, as usually I can be easily drawn into any story about people meeting fun people, and living on the edge, but not this time. The boys get in trouble, they boys smoke weed, the boys get laid, and the boys see the country. In the end the boys ended up kind of boring to me with a story that’s been told a hundred times before. It’s 2 stars out of 5 for “In The End.” I think I wanted more with the reputation I kept seeing about the book, and maybe that ruined it for me. Nah, I just didn’t like it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Antiviral

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:48 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Antiviral
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Caleb Landry Jones, Sarah Gagon, Malcolm McDowell
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: IFC Films
Video Release Date: August 6, 2013
Kiddie Movie:

It’s a weird, twisted movie with lots of needles, blood, sexiness, and all around creepiness. Put them to bed.

Date Movie: Only if she’s into needles, blood, sexiness, and all around creepiness.
Gratuitous Sex: Ehh.
Gratuitous Violence: Some fighting and stabbing with needles.
Action: Ehh.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: The dude sporting the herpes of his favorite celebrity just creeped me out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Brandon Cronenberg
Cool things about the Blu-ray: The features are pretty standard, but it is a nice look at Brandon Cronenberg, and if you are a film buff the Making of… is pretty decent.

What a whacked-out movie. The sad part, there are some, obsessed, fans who would probably actually do the things that happen in “Antiviral.”

Let’s get to it.

Let me start by saying this is not a film for everyone. Things that happen in this movie are mostly slow, deliberate, artsy, and sometimes just downright weird. The premise of the story is that as a society obsessed with celebrities, people can’t get enough, even to the point that companies are able to sell viruses a celebrity may have so that the obsessed fan can have the same herpes, the same illness, the same sore, as their favorite celeb. Syd (Caleb Landry Jones) works for one of these companies selling the virus injections to the public, and he has also figured out a way to smuggle a virus out of the company so he can sell it on the black-market. Low and behold he finds himself with the crème de la crème of a virus, a new sickness that hottie Hannah Geist (Sarah Gadon) has, he injects it to sell it, and when she dies he finds out everyone wants this virus, and they are now after him. Here’s the problem – if Syd doesn’t find a way to get rid of it, a way to cure it as it would be, he’s going to end up with the same fate as Hannah, if he doesn’t end up that way anyway from those trying to get it from him.

So, if Syd thought he was in some twisted, black-market world before, now he is in a world of black-market, corporate espionage, and just out-right creepiness.

Like I mentioned, I’ll bet if Justin Bieber or some other celebrity had herpes, there would be some fan out there who would be happy to “catch” if from him, even if by an injection to the lips with a needle instead of actually kissing The Bieb, and “Antiviral” takes obsession to that level. The movie is set against a white, sterile-looking backdrop, and the acting is as creepy as you would want, from Syd the employee, to Malcolm McDowell who is trying to get to the bottom of the Hannah virus. They all do their parts well, and as I recommended this movie, if you are looking for some high-action thriller, this isn’t the movie, but if you want some weirdness centered around obsessed celebrity fans, this is a twisted look at those fans, and the world that might be built to appease them, including a butcher shop of “celebrity meat.”  It’s 3 1/2 stars out of 5 for “Antiviral,” as long as you know the kind of movie you are in for.

As far as the Blu-ray, it’s got some extras, namely some looking at Brandon Cronenberg (Yes, the son of David Cronenberg, which should give you an idea of where the son gets his ideas from), some “Making of…” stuff that is pretty standard, and the normal “Deleted Scenes” that are better left deleted for the most part.

Enjoy creepiness.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Welcome to the Punch

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Welcome to the Punch
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: James McAvoy, Mark Strong
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: IFC Films
Released On: July 23, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Please put them to bed – there’s a lot of violence.
Date Movie: She might snuggle.
Gratuitous Sex: More would have helped.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of guys who can’t seem to hit anything with their automatic weapons.
Action: It’s got some chasing.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: The slow-motion, guns blazing, kidnapping scene was pretty cool.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Ridley Scott
Cool Things on the Blu-Ray: It’s got the “Making of…” for you film buffs.

Oh, how I wanted to like “Welcome to the Punch” a lot more than I did. How I really wanted to. Alright, before I give my final analysis, let’s get to the story a bit.

In “Welcome to the Punch” we get Max (James McAvoy). He’s a cop. Okay, he’s technically a detective, but who’s really countin?. We also get Jacob (Mark Strong). He’s a thief who robs banks. No, not your corner bank with a few bucks in it but the major money locations, with enough cash to live off of in a nice lifestyle for the rest of your life. Opening with Jacob in the middle of what is supposed to be his last run, his money-maker as it would be, his “I can retire from this life of crime now and live in a nice retreat in Iceland” kind of heist, he is almost taken down by Max, and during the ensuing fight Jacob get the upper hand, and instead of just shooting Max in the head, Jacob shoots Max in the leg, leaving Max to a life of guilt and gimpiness. So, Jacob gets away and is living a relaxing life, Max is trying to get through his demons, and then, wouldn’t you know it, Jacob’s son ends up living a life of crime, ends up shot, caught by the cops, and now dad has to come and break him out of the hospital.

Yup, you know what that means! Max is now going to get his chance to get his bad guy and get the demons out of his head! So, of course, Jacob comes back, Max is hot on his trail, but what kind of movie would that be? It could have developed into a great “cat and mouse” kind of flick, but nope, the movie folks decide to throw in some conspiracy crap, some government corruption, and a backend storyline about gun-running, or some stuff like that, and of course somehow Max and Jacob find themselves in the middle of it all, and although not becoming the best of friends, their life courses intertwine in their own quests to find the truth about what is really going on with Jacob’s son.

Here’s the thing… For the most part I was enjoying the movie, at least until it became all cookie-cutter on me with the story and some of the action sequences. Sure, there was a lot of low-talking by bad guys complete in nighttime scenes when all bad things happen, and there were an awful lot of bad guys with automatic weapons who really needed some time at a shooting range because, most of the time, these guys couldn’t shoot the broad side of a barn if they were standing ten feet in front of it. And, oh yea, I wondered how Max even still had a job what with his bad leg and mental issues. And, oh yea yea, I was close to wondering why no one really cared the lady cop was missing for the longest time. In the end, though, I was okay with most of that. It was really the “government officials are corrupt and now the bad guy and good guy need to team together to save the world, or at least get revenge” story that annoyed me.

The movie is good-looking, well shot with some great scenes (and yes, complete with the obligatory, slow-motion, show bullet come out the chamber, and here’s the bullet hitting the bad guy complete with blood splatter), and even the acting is good, but all of the Ridley Scott goodness gets lost in the not-really-original story.

The Ridley Scott goodness gets the movie 4 stars, the cookie-cutter story 1 star, so I suppose I’ll average everything together and add ½ star because I’m in a good mood.

With that it’s 3 stars out of 5 for “Welcome to the Punch.” So much potential lost in a story anyone could come up with.

The Blu-ray has a bunch of interviews, and a nice “Making-of” featurette, but unless you are an avid film buff looking for some artsy insight into the character development, you’ll probably skip it.

A decent rental none-the-less – enjoy it for the basic-ness that the movie is.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Love and Honor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:36 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Love and Honor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Austin Stowell, Liam Hemsworth, Aimee Teegarden, Teresa Palmer
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: IFC Films
Released On: July 23, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Probably best for the teen girls.
Date Movie: Nope.
Gratuitous Sex: They get it on, but nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence: Some war scenes, but they kind of look fake.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: Mickey and Candace just have sex and they she pretty much goes, “Oh, by the way, the cops are looking to arrest you.”
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: Danny Mooney

And now I bring you “Love and Honor,” a movie trying to tell a love story set under the backdrop of the first moon landing and the Vietnam War. Yes, it’s a movie set in 1969, and it looks like the movie folks raided the prop room and found anything that seemed to resemble 1969, from cheesy t-shirts, to an acoustic guitar propped next to the period-piece couch, to the malt shop, to cheesy protest signs, to the afghan that looked like it was knitted by your grandmother, and somewhere along the way found cheesy, protest dialogue to go along with it all.

Let’s start with the story basics…

Dolton (Austin Stowell) and Mickey (Liam Hemsworth) are young soldiers serving in Vietnam. The only thing that keeps Dolton focused on staying alive is the love of his girl back home, Jane (Aimee Teegarden), but sadly she sends him the proverbial Dear Dolton letter telling him it’s over. What to do? Well, if you’re Dolton and you have a week of leave; you head back to the states to win your girl back. What to do if you’re Mickey? You tag along on the trip to help your buddy.

So, our two soldiers find themselves in smallish-town America, albeit with an active war protest movement, and to stave off the angry hordes, or at least avoid the confrontation, Mickey concocts the story that they are deserting, hoping to give enough time for Dolton to reconnect with Jane, maybe even propose, and head back to Vietnam. For Mickey, though, along comes Candace (Teresa Palmer). He’s smitten and now is in a pickle of lying to her, trying to get laid, and then having to leave, and maybe fall in love along the way.

Yup, they are entrenched in war protest central, they have to make life decisions, and through it all Mickey is somehow able to keep this shit-eatin’ grin on his face the entire time, at least so says my assistant, and spout wonderfully awesome lines like “When I was 14 I was just trying to figure out how to get laid.” Granted I was two years old in 1969, but did the pretty boys really use this as a line to get in the girl’s pants back then? Someone who might have been 18 back then please let me know.

Okay, back to the review and summary.

Sadly the movie comes off more like “Let’s put some pretty boys in this movie so some teen girls will watch it and keep saying ‘Oh, he’s dreamy!’ We can build it around the Vietnam war, I mean, who doesn’t like the story of the soldier and his girl?”, when, if the material was done with a different cast and some tighter writing, rather than seeming to try to appeal to the teen girl crowd, it could have really been a look at the conflict of soldiers, the protest movement, and love.

All I know is that from about 5 minutes into the movie I couldn’t wait for it to end, and my assistant gave up after about 20 minutes. There was potential in this movie, somewhere, but it just didn’t find it. It’s 1 star out of 5, although, if you are a teen girl you might give it 4 based on dreamy and shit-eatin’ grininess. I’m sticking with 1 star.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

6 Souls

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:42 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

6 Souls
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Julianne Moore, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Anchor Bay Entertainment
Released On: July 2, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them creeped out by old witches and people with multiple personalities.
Date Movie: It’s probably pretty good for snuggling with your mate.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s got some pretty good gruesomeness.
Action: Some chasing and breaking glass.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: The scenes with the creepy witch.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Mans Marlind, Mjorn Stein

Unless I give away the ending it’s hard to explain why I was pretty much enjoying “6 Souls” for the most part up until the last ten-ish minutes of the film, so I guess for now I’ll just say I was pretty much enjoying “6 Souls” for the most part, up until the last ten-ish minutes of the film. Maybe I’ll expound on that a little later, in which, here’s the proverbial “Spoiler Alert” warning, but for starters let’s get to the story.

In “6 Souls” we get the always-awesome Julianne Moore. She’s Dr. Cara Harding, a psychiatrist lady who’s having a hard time after her husband dies. Her dad, though, trying to get her back in the game, brings along Adam (Jonathan Rhys Meyers). Adam, it seems, is harboring a bunch of personalities inside of him, with one of them easily being called up when he answers a phone.  The thing is it’s not just a personality that Adam seems to have, but Adam actually mentally and verbally turns into the personality, who happen to be murder victims.

At first, of course, the good Doctor figures Adam has just read up on the murder victims, figures out their quirks and mannerisms, and then is able to channel the victims as different personalities. It isn’t until Dr. Harding brings along the mother of one of the murder victims that Adam channels, and Adam knows things that only the son would have known, that now she thinks something else, something mystical, something spiritual might be afoot.

The problem is that Adam begins meeting up with more and more people in Dr. Harding’s life, including her daughter, and as this isn’t really a case of multiple personalities as it is a case of possession, and now her family is deathly involved.

As it goes Dr. Harding’s  research takes her to more-than-rural America, to shacks in the back of the woods where the scary people live, and yet, our fair Doctor finds out the truth about Adam, but sadly it might be a little too late for…

Okay, I’m not going to give it away, but I will say that Hollywood cliffhanger mode came in to full play for the ending of the movie, setting up a possible sequel, I’m sure if the money is right, instead of going for a better mode of closure, and the true crushing of Dr. Harding’s spirit, which is how I would have ended the movie.

For the most part, though, ending aside, everyone is pretty fantastic in the movie. Julianne Moore, well, enough said – She could take the roll of a porn star and make it awesome. Oh wait, she did. The rest of the cast, especially Jonathan Rhys Meyers, does well, also, and kudos for Jonathan for actually pulling off great jobs as multiple roles, what with him having the multiple personalities and all. Then there are the creepy folks, especially Joyce Feurring as the witch and Katiana Davis as her helper girl.

As a thriller “6 Souls” is pretty good, even if some of the movie is standard fair, and even if it doesn’t offer too many surprises. I would have preferred the bad guy’s soul being sucked out of him and stored on a shelf for safe keeping as an ending, instead of the one we ended up with, but I guess I can’t have it all. It’s 3 ½ stars out of 5 for “6 Souls.” It could have easily ended up a 4 starrer for me with a different finish.

As far as the Blu-ray, there’s nothing special. Get this one for some creepiness on a night to snuggle with your honey.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dark Skies

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Dark Skies
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo, Kaden Rockett, J.K. Simmons
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Anchor Bay Entertainment & Dimension Films
Blu-ray Release Date: May 28, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them to have creepy nightmares about aliens.
Date Movie: She might get scared and snuggly, or give you someone to hold.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s a boob grab and some getting it on, but actually I found it unnecessary.
Gratuitous Violence: Just some fighting, but oddly enough the alien anal probing wasn’t really needed.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: The end goal of the aliens was a nice twist.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Scott Stewart
Cool Things about the Blu-ray: Nothing much. Standard commentary and deleted scenes, but the alternate ending was a interesting.

As I was getting ready to watch the Blu-ray of “Dark Skies,” I don’t know why but I quickly checked what it was rated. I assumed it would be rated R, it being a scary kind of movie, but alas there it was, the PG-13 rating. Sadly I was instantly disappointed as this meant no quality kills, no gratuitous nudity, not much swearing, and I sunk in my seat for what I figured would be a movie that I might find okay, but would feel it lost a thing or two by not going that extra, rated R step. By the end of the movie, however, I was pleasantly surprised that the movie actually didn’t need that extra adultness, in fact the one thing that seemed oddly out of place for me was Jesse (Dakota Goyo), and his friend, watching some teacher porn (don’t worry, they don’t show much), and then Jesse’s later boob grabbing. Maybe I am getting old, but it seemed contrived and an unnecessary “grab a boob for PG-13 boob’s sake.”

Okay, enough movie ratings analysis, let’s get to the film…

“Dark Skies” gives us a nice suburban family led by Laci (Keri Russell in a role of “How did she end up in this movie, but oddly enough it actually works for this film?”) and Daniel (Josh Hamilton also in a role of “How did he end up in this movie, but oddly enough it actually works for this film?”). They are having money problems with Daniel out of work and Laci struggling selling real estate. They have two boys, the aforementioned Jesse and Sam (Kaden Rockett), the youngest. Things seem pretty normal for the family except for a rash behind Daniel’s ear and Sam having an imaginary friend, but then strange things start happening around the house. There is a mystical stacking of goods, a night when all of the pictures disappear from their frames, and an alarm system that doesn’t seem to work when needed and goes off for no apparent reason. Now I do have to say that as strange things seemed afoot in the Barratt household all I could think about was the Eddie Murphy stand-up skit about haunted houses and families staying in house with unexplained happenings, and some parallels with “Poltergeist” happening, but then the movie started taking odder and odder twists. Weird symbols started showing up on the kid’s bodies, all of the family members started having their own episodes, and in doing some Internet searching Laci discovers that their family might have visitors in the house, namely the alien kind. Yup, it’s creepy, weird, and right up my alley, and a movie that was doing it right by not actually going all of the way with alien ray-guns and spaceships.

So what is a family to do? Well, they search out a trusty, old soul, namely Edwin (J.K. Simmons), who seems to know a thing or two about alien invasions and abductions, and warns the family about what is coming. The family hunkers down to save themselves, only to find they, well, I’ll leave that alone for the ending.

And so, “Dark Skies” gives us a movie that is part “Poltergeist,” part “Signs,” and all kinds of creepy. It does a great job at keeping the suspense, the talent of Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton are needed for the roles of showing a family that is starting to fall apart due to money problems, yet their love is still holding them together. Heck, even without the alien abduction creepiness, Keri and Josh portrayed a movie that could have stood out on its own as a family in turmoil kind of film. Like I mentioned before, however, and I understand the need for showing Jesse’s insecurity in growing up in the movie, but the teacher porn and boob grab really seemed like a lazy and gratuitous way of doing it. Yes, I know teenage boys look at porn, but it just seemed cheesy.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised by “Dark Skies” with all of its alien creepiness and the fact that they actually didn’t take the movie to the R-rated level. The movie-folks kept the aliens mysterious, even to the end, and kept the focus of the movie on the family which is what I think helped it not end up just being a dorky, alien abduction film.

Good acting, a nice look at a family with growing pains, and alien creepiness to boot. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Dark Skies” from me, and if I ever get a rash behind my ear I’m going to question things a little more.

In regards to the extras on the Blu-ray, there isn’t that much, mostly just the standard commentary track and some deleted scenes that were fine being deleted. The alternate ending was a nice touch, though, and seeing how things progress to how they eventually ended the film.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Pawn

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:28 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Pawn
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ray Liotta, Forest Whitaker, Sean Faris, Michael Chiklis, Common
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Anchor Bay Entertainment
Released On: April 23, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Send them to bed.
Date Movie: It’s suspenseful and sometimes violent. She might snuggle.
Gratuitous Sex: Not really.
Gratuitous Violence: Some pretty good quality kills.
Action: It’s pretty much all set in the diner. No major chase scenes here.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: You could tell amiss was everywhere when Will went to the bathroom.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: David Armstrong
Cool Things about the Blu-ray: Nothing really – just a “behind the scenes” featurette.

I really wanted to like “Pawn” a lot more than I did, I mean it had Forest Whitaker, Ray Liotta, Michael Chiklis, and even Common did a good job in his role, but sometimes a movie goes for too many twists and turns, and I think this is where “Pawn” kind of loses it a bit.

First, let’s get to the story…

We get a dude being interrogated in a hospital bed, and we get a scene with Will (Whitaker) entering a diner. Will is also a police office. It’s obvious something is amiss in the diner as Will seems like a regular, and Charlie (Stephen Lang) behind the bar sends off signals that there is a robbery in progress. As the movie would have it things are really amiss in this diner, people are not who they seem, and we are supposed to be led on an hour and a half suspense ride of “who really are the bad guys,” but instead we have Nick (Sean Faris), fresh out of jail, and being set up as the real bad guy, the pawn as it would be, and we are supposed to wonder if Common will be able to figure out that Nick isn’t bad, just in the wrong place at the wrong time, or is he really the bad guy?

I’m not going to go too much more into this movie so as not to spoil it should you rent or buy it, but I will say that I find it odd that the mob ends up looking like a complete bunch of boobs in this movie, and although sometimes they get portrayed that way, I’m thinking Ray Liotta’s character, simply credited as “Man in a Suit,” would never be a part of the mistake going on there.

The acting is good, I was surprised to find as many big names in the movie as there are, but I think the movie would have been better served with one less twist or turn, and just let the movie play out where the cops thought Nick was the bad guy, and go from there.

A decent enough thriller, some quality kills, but a story that tries too hard leaves “Pawn” as a 3 star out of 5 from me. A lot of potential lost in a lot of muck.

In terms of the extras on the Blu-ray, well, you aren’t getting this one for the extras because there is just a basic, behind-the-scenes kind of featurette where pretty much we get young actors saying how awesome it was, yet slightly intimidating, to work alongside some legends.  Good enough.

That’s it for this one! I’m the Dude on the Right! L8R!!!

John Dies at the End

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

John Dies at the End
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Clancy Brown, Paul Giamatti
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Magnolia Home Entertainment
Released On: April 2, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Oh no, put them to bed.
Date Movie: If she is a fan of the b-movie genre.
Gratuitous Sex: Just a lot of boobs.
Gratuitous Violence: Over-the-top and gratuitous.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: In the over-the-top gore/goofiness kind of way.
Memorable Scene: The monster made out of meat products.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Don Coscarelli
Cool things on the DVD: Nothing stands out but the “Creature Corps” feature is a nice look at making creepy creatures.

“John Dies at the End.” Now, please stop it with the “You should have said, ‘Spoiler alert,’” because that’s the title of the movie, and not my synopsis. The movie could also easily be called “John and Dave Save the World,” which I guess is also a spoiler, but before any more direct spoiling or synopsising, let’s get to the story.

Okay, this is going to be goofy. We are introduced to Dave (Chase Williamson), discussing an axe and the death, or seeming death, of a strange being. An interesting take if one version of the axe that chopped of the head of said being is the same axe after it has been rebuilt over time. Re-enter Dave, now talking with Arnie (Paul Giamatti) in a Chinese restaurant, trying to tell Arnie his story so that Arnie may tell the world, and the story of the “soy sauce.”  It seems the world is being attacked by beings from an alternate universe, and somehow John and Dave take it upon themselves to save us all. In the meantime, there is this “soy sauce” that gives people strange powers and offers lots of hallucinations, and also gives a glimpse of the strangeness of the invasion. In the meantime, during Dave’s storytelling, we find his story of his buddy John, his meeting up with a monster made out of meat parts, his finding a dog that helps, well, helps them a lot, and also how there are these bugs that try to infest humans on the way to domination. We also find a hot dog that works like a cell phone, a girl with no hand who can open a “ghost” door, a magician who can help kill the invaders, and an alternate universe where girls walk around without tops so as not to scare John and Dave.

Does that sound a little confusing? Well, I will admit that “John Dies at the End” is a tad confusing, what with not really knowing if parts of the story are bits and pieces of hallucinations or actually happening in the real world, but through it all it is totally entertaining, in a B-Horror, B-Comedy, B-I would totally watch on late night cable, B-movie kind of way.

There is goofiness, there is lots of over-the-goofiness gore, there are some creative goofy monsters, and although at times confusing, it is confusing fun. The acting isn’t anything to write home about, well, except for the always-awesome Paul Giamatti, but I don’t think this is a movie made for Oscar-style performances. Instead it does exactly what you want it to do, if you are a fan of the B-movie kind of film – entertain.

All movies aren’t supposed to be spectacles, some just entertain, and “John Dies at the End” entertained me. It may not be your cup of tea, I admit, but it was mine and I give it 4 stars out of 5.

Extra-wise the Blu-ray doesn’t have that much except some nice interviews and some normal “Making of” stuff, at least on the entertaining side. I didn’t care for the deleted scenes, but so be it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!