By:
The Dude on the Right
Gwen
Stefani looked utterly adorable in her little clips, but I have to say she
didn’t come off that great as a vocal coach. Vocals aside, what she really
needed to do was coach some of these folks on stage performance, because, sadly,
some of them seemed to really be lacking this week.
In any case, this episode
was the "music of No Doubt or music that inspired No Doubt" week. What we have
learned is that Donna Summer and The Police seemed to have the most influence on
the band, and that Sanjaya loves to change his hair so we should vote for him.
Here’s what I thought of this week’s performances…
Lekisha: Sang Donna Summer’s "Last Dance." Ugly-ass dress, still sings
great and performs well. I hate being superficial, but she needs to fix those
teeth.
Chris (big hair): Sang The Police’s "Every Little Thing She Does is
Magic." Sounds bad, and is trying to up the performance aspect, but man, it just
doesn’t seem to be working, and he’s still off on the tempo side.
Gina: Sang The Pretenders’ "I’ll Stand By You." Sticking with the punkish
outfit works for her, sounded fantastic, but the only problem I had was she
didn’t work any of the stage.
Sanjaya: Sang No Doubt’s "Bathwater." I looked up at the screen as he
started and yelled "Oh my God!" Why? Because his hair was set up in sort-of
Mohawk mode. He wasn’t good, and I’ll bet the 10 to 12 year olds will still love
him. He had moments of being able to sing, but for the most part he was bad, and
I’m still voting for him. Simon said it best with "I don’t think it matters
anymore what we say." Simon recognizes the magnitude of the Sanjaya movement.
Haley: Sang Cyndi Lauper’s "True Colors." She has the entire pop-idol
package, from the looks to the good-enough voice. It will be interesting if she
can just stick around because they can mold her into the next Kelly Clarkson,
but this performance was just okay.
Phil: Sang The Police’s "Every Breath You Take." Bad skull-cap, but I
think they are using it to cover his bald head that I think looks worse. I
thought the performance was blah compared to what the judges said.
Melinda: Sang Donna Summer’s "Heaven Knows." Still a great voice, knows
how to perform, but back in my superficial mood, could afford to lose a few
pounds (don’t get all anorexic on me now, please), but those couple of pounds
puts her into "Whitney Houston in her prime" mode.
Blake: Sang The Cure’s "Love Song." Took a great song and "bored" it up.
The passion of Robert Smith seemed to be totally lost. I really didn’t like him.
Jordin: Sang No Doubt’s "Hey Baby." I was in the Jordin camp, after
Sanjaya of course, but she didn’t pull this one off at all. Maybe it was better
live for the audience, but for me on my TV it missed the sexiness of Gwen.
Chris (less hair): Sang No Doubt’s "Don’t Speak." Looked stiff as a board
at the beginning, still looked stiff as a board in the middle, and even getting
away from the mike stand, still looked stiff. Sounded okay, but the performance
blew.
I now have only three reasons to watch "American Idol." One is Haley, who
might not be the strongest singer but has the entire "Idol" package. Two is Gina
because she has a good voice and is from my neck of the woods. And of course
three is Sanjaya, because if he won he would be the best Non-American Idol idol
ever.
I’ve been voting for Sanjaya early, and often. I only wish I had some dead
relatives who could also vote. At least Howard Stern has his listeners, I can’t
even convince Mama Gotz to vote for Sanjaya, but hopefully Stu Gotz was able to
sneak in a couple of votes.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!