By:
The Dude on the Right
So as a good American I suppose I should probably be hunkered down watching the
Pennsylvania Primary Results to see if Hillary Clinton somehow pulls out a
chance to solidly beat Barack Obama if only to further confuse who will be the
Democratic nominee for President, but, dammit, it is Tuesday night, it is
"American Idol" night, and there is more important voting going on in just about
an hour. Sure, it is Andrew Lloyd Webber Week for A.I., and Andrew Lloyd
Webber is fantastic, legendary, a mega-force when it comes to musicals, and
fine, I’ll admit it, I’m a fan of "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "Cats."
Hell, I even saw "Cats" on Broadway back in 1985, although part of it is blurry
as we took a high school bus ride from Ohio to New York City, and since I can’t
sleep on moving transportation and "Cats" was the first play we saw out there
the evening we arrived, let’s just say I was nodding off during part of it, at
least I think so. Man, some of those memories are blurry now, and unless
my mind is really messed up, we also saw "Noises Off" out there, which I can
still watch today and laugh my ass off if done even close to right. But I
digress.
So as much as I do appreciate the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, maybe
the "American Idol" folks realize no one there has the personality/performance
quality to make it as a pop singer so they’re trying to see if they can make
some money with them on the Broadway stage. Maybe Andrew Lloyd Webber will
actually get these shlubs to be performers, but I’m still praying for "Bruce
Springsteen Week" when he can teach this group about performing, and then Artie
Lange from The Howard Stern Show, now that he reneged on his resignation, will
have to answer to this equation: Bruce Springsteen + American Idol = Ball
Shocking.
Enough reminiscing, enough praying, let’s see how our last six folks
sing…
Syesha Mercado
– Sings – "One Rock ‘n Roll Too Many"
– My prediction is that even though she sings nice enough, and she is trying to
perform it as if she were on stage, she’s the first singer of the night and only
her diehard fans will stick by and vote for her. Sadly, or maybe happily,
she has shown she will be able to make it on Broadway, just not the pop/Idol
scene.
Jason Castro
– Sings – "Memory"
– This is not a song for "laid-back"-ness, which Jason Castro is all
about. The thing is that people who know the song (like me), will probably
think it sucked, but fans who have no concept of the song might actually love
it. He needed to hit the "Jesus Christ Superstar" soundtrack and become
Jesus, rather than singing anything from "Cats." Horrible song choice.
Brook White
– Sings – "You Must Love Me"
– Does "forgetting the song" lend her to the bottom of the pack? Does
singing a Madonna song save her? Once she got over forgetting the lyrics
she did okay, but the performance aspect waivered. Paula seemed crushed,
Simon was correct about the stopping thing, and now we will see how strong her
fan base really is.
David
Archuleta
– Sings – "Think of Me", I think.
– So Andrew Lloyd Webber gave David the best bit of advice ever – to open his
eyes, and yet he can’t. I guess he’s a squinty dude who can sing well, but
still lacks the performance skills because if the dude just approached the front
of the stage, worked the girls in the front row, he would have shown everyone
that he is better than just a good singer. Simon again is correct.
David has to break out his shell and be a performer – quit standing in the
center of the stage.
Carly Smithson
– Sings – "Superstar"
– This song fits in her wheelhouse, but there is still something about her that
makes her "over-the-top" for the show. She still shouts too much, she
still seems to have this attitude of "I deserve to win this," and this song was
probably a better choice for her, even though I still didn’t like it that much.
David Cook
– Sings "Music of the Night"
– Yea, fine, you could be on Broadway, too. You will probably stick
around for another week, and at least you seem to try and work the crowd a bit,
but you have shown that there isn’t a pop-idol in this group.
Let’s wrap this up…
Great, this week has shown that we’ve got six people who could probably be on
Broadway, but not one of them has shown that they have the star power to be a
pop singer. Sorry, but I really don’t care that much about these people
anymore. We don’t need Mariah, we don’t need Broadway, now we just need to
see if these people can perform, and as I have been re-iterating from week to
week, we really need a performing mentor for these folks.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!