By:
The Dude on the Right
With
my weekend movie reviewing completed a day early after seeing
"Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" on Friday and
"Baby Mama" yesterday, I was looking forward to a day to get things some
things done around The Dude-Pad, and as Sunday’s are my laundry day, what a
great way to start! That sounds simple enough only that for the first time
in I can’t even remember, I was in my bathroom, dressed, yet felt naked.
And then it occurred to me and I yelled, "Crap," only I didn’t yell "Crap," I
yelled the word even my Mom would be washing my mouth out with soap had she
heard me say it. And the word came out knowing that yesterday’s jeans were
the first article of clothing in the washer, therefore as the washing machine
was still filling up, my wallet was toast, being soaked in a combination of warm
water, floating dirt, and laundry detergent. So I’m digging through my
washing machine, looking for the jeans at the bottom, and sure enough, there it
was, my wallet, soaked, and then the fun part came, actually reminding myself of
all of the things in my wallet. The simple things were there – driver’s
license, credit and bank cards, health insurance card, an expired Extended
Warranty card for my car, and some grocery store cards. Then I remembered
some of the other stuff I knew might disintegrate, namely an old card to the
lady who used to cute my hair, old pictures of my niece and nephew, and some
receipts I didn’t yank out of my wallet for expense purposes. Luckily,
happily, the disintegration didn’t occur, most everything was saved, and the
pictures of my niece when she was in Kindergarten and my nephew in 4th grade
survived (sure, these pictures are from 1996, but they are both so much cuter
back then)! The only thing washing my wallet did do was remind me that I
need a new wallet, as it has been slowly falling apart over the last six months,
but damn, I love that wallet!
And sure, a wallet in the laundry isn’t a
catastrophic moment for the day, I just thank God it wasn’t my iPhone, so I
continued my day. Sunday newspaper – Check! Breakfast – Check!
A quick TiVo through "Ebert & Roeper At the Movies" to see how they, or at least
Richard Roeper, felt about the movies I saw this week – Check! Let’s keep
working on the newspaper while watching "Battlestar Galactica" – No check.
It turns out my cable system didn’t seem to want me watching the show even
though my TiVo actually changed channels this time, leaving me with a "Searching
for signal message," or something like that, for an hour on my TiVo. Uggh!
Now I have to call Comcast this week, and that is always such a joy.
Breakfast
done, Sunday paper done, laundry started, all that was left for my day was
cleaning the first floor of The Dude-Pad. The breakfast nook/storage area
for my fish-tank cleaning and maintenance stuff went fine, I found a spot for an
old radio in my kitchen which would work nicely when I cook my extravagant
meals, and I was looking forward to rearranging some photos around my living
room area, doing some much needed dusting, and it occurred to me that I had an
old photo I wanted to hang up but needed a frame that I knew I could pick up
when I went to either A) The hardware store where I needed to pick up a new set
of blinds for my living room window, or 2) Even at the grocery store while
getting sustenance supplies for the week.
I measure the blinds I would need,
51 inches wide, I have my grocery list, I head out in the Dude-Mobile to the
Home Depot, buy blinds that are 51 inches wide, and they even have three-packs
of air filters for my furnace! Bonus!! I get to the grocery store,
my shopping is complete, and then I get home. I look down and there is the
picture I needed a frame for that I didn’t buy. Alright, let’s move on.
I bought liquid soap for my kitchen and bathroom dispensers, only to find the
bathroom one seems to have issues, necessitating an improvising for some fixing,
therefore slowing down my cleaning schedule, and before I cleaned my living room
I figured hanging the new blinds would be the first step. I’m up on a
stool, the old blinds are down, the new blinds are up, and then I realized I
couldn’t walk around naked in my living room (not like I ever do, but I like
knowing I have the option), because although the blinds I bought were wide
enough, sadly I didn’t pay attention to the length. Uggghhhhh! I was
finally spent, too many things wrong, let’s just watch cars driving left so I
watched the end of the NASCAR race to clear my mind and said to myself, "Self,
the living room cleaning will wait until another day. I’ve had it."
So,
resting on my couch, watching cars go round and round and then crashing, I
didn’t think my day could get any more into "I should have just stayed in bed"
mode until my bed sheets came out of the dryer, and as I went to put one of my
pillows back into a pillow case, the pillow case tore in places I can’t even
figure out how to mend. Uggggghhhhh, again.
So, my Sunday, which was
supposed to be all about me, turned into, still, all about me, but not like I
pictured. I washed my wallet, my cable company doesn’t want me watching "Battlestar
Galactica," I can’t walk around in my living room naked, and I was reminded I
need a new wallet and bed linens. It is, as a day progresses like this,
that I sort of wish I had a girlfriend, like Jewel, who would just utter the
simple line, "Come on darlin’, let’s go back to bed."
I will say, that today,
I did at least mount the bust of a moose, or maybe a reindeer, on my wall, but
tomorrow will be Monday, and oh, that looks so promising, and I mean that in a
totally sarcastic way.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
I love Neil Diamond. I’ve seen him in
The
The Dude on the Right simply has this advice during