Author: Andy Labis

By:

The Dude on the Right
Well we missed our last installment of "Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up!"
because I was off playing hooky seeing the Chicago Cubs’ Home Opener. 
Sadly they lost to Houston, on a cold, cold, cold, Monday afternoon.  But
this podcast really isn’t about baseball, it pretty much has three topics. 
First comes my Don Imus talk, who has been fired from everything now, and how I
think the latest chapter of his career will be inserted into every broadcast
school’s curriculum under the topic "What not to do when you put your foot in
your mouth on the air."  Second comes how I was disappointed in the return
of "The Sopranos," and
Bobby
Bakala is still fat.  And finally, it being Thursday, and yesterday
being Wednesday, of course I talk about American Idol and how I was sad to see
Haley go because she is hot, hope Phil goes next week, and Sanjaya is still
alive, no thanks to Howard
Stern, no thanks to
votefortheworst.com, but mostly thanks to me because of my crusade to keep
him on the show.  Yup, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
At least Jennifer Lopez seems to be giving some of the singers some real advice
this week, although it appears none of the contestants, except maybe Sanjaya,
actually took it. Maybe the other “coaches” in previous weeks gave just as much
advice, but with one more contestant gone it gave J Lo more screen time. Here’s
my rundown of the contestants…

Melinda: Sings “Sway.” Since we all know she can sing, unless she
forgets words or falls on her face, it’s about looks. The giant smile with the
upper gum is still a bad look, the hair makes her look old, not 20 years old –
50 years old. Keep it hip girl.

LeKisha: Sings “Conga.” Most camera shots were far away, or
highlighting the band, because, and since we know she can sing, she looked
stuffed into that dress. Like Melinda she sounded fine, but superficiality will
be her downfall right now.

Chris: Sings “Smooth,” the Rob Thomas/Santana version. He’s still
singing too low for the song most people recognize, and I’ve met Rob Thomas,
even though it was a bunch of years ago – and Chris is no Rob Thomas. Maybe
Paula really needs to see Rob Thomas to sing it to her because she seemed to like Chris.

Haley: Sings “Turn the Beat Around.” Nice shorts but needs less up
top. She sings okay but needed to practice some Shakira “moves” to maybe get her
to the next round, especially for this song. Simon knows the score, and if she
would only embrace it she could actually win. She’s practicing the wrong things,
like singing.

Phil: Sings “Maria.” He’s got a hat back on, but all of us already are
stuck with his bald head in our heads. He’s trying to be a Latin singer, but he
doesn’t have the machismo to pull it off, and his voice is cracking in a lot of
places. Please let him go ahead of Haley.

Jordin: Sings “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You.” Why is it that none of
these folks seem to understand Latin music? It’s singing combined with body
movement and emotion. Jordin still looks a little chubbier than I remember, even
though her singing is good. She’s just not working it with her body.

Blake: Sings “I Need to Know.” Nice hat. He epitomizes the white guy
dance. The song exudes sex, and he, well, doesn’t. Maybe it was better live, but
on TV he sucked for me.

Sanjaya: Sings a Spanish song that I don’t know that the title is. Oh
my God, I hate to say this, but of all of the singers he understood the “Latin”
theme and nailed it.

Performance-wise, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Sanjaya actually
got the theme of the night, while most of the others sucked. Sure, they can
sing, but we are starting to see most of them don’t know how to perform. In a
shocker I can see LeKisha getting the boot, but is should probably be Haley or
Phil who get the boot. I’m hoping Phil gets booted, and that Haley wears a
little less next week!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Normally I would do a podcast on Thursday, complete with my analysis of who got
voted off "American Idol," but I’m frantically working on the animation for our
next episode of "Stu & The Dude Reviewin’ the Movies for You!" so I didn’t have
time to put together the audio clips I wanted to for the podcast.  I know,
my dedication is lacking at times, but I did want to give some quick thoughts
about Gina getting the boot on "Idol."

For starters, I’m blaming myself for
Gina getting the boot.  If you have been reading any of my blogs or
listening to my podcasts you know that I am firmly vested in the "Vote for
Sanjaya" movement, and on Tuesday I got so psyched in my voting for Sanjaya
Malakar and thinking Gina was probably safe that I didn’t vote for Gina. 
So Gina, I apologize, and if, among those 30 million votes they said were
supposedly cast last Tuesday night, and you got voted off because of about five
votes, it is my fault.  The underlying problem with "American Idol" and
their voting is they never actually tell us the vote tally, nor never reassure
us that the accounting firm of, at least, "Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe" has
certified the votes.

Now even though I was sad to see Gina Glocksen go home,
at least she made it to the top ten so she can be on the tour, and I doubt she
would have made it to the finals, but what do I know.  But the bummer part
of her getting voted off is that she didn’t make to Bon Jovi week, because as
the resident rocker chick, I’m guessing that would have been the week for her
truly shine.  Nope, she got sidelined by a week of "standards," where I
would have advised her two things.  One would have been to lose the tongue
piercing for the week.  As a dude, as she was singing, I didn’t hear her
singing because all I kept seeing was her tongue piercing and thinking, well,
umm, thinking, umm, things.  My guess is the "conservative" voting block
thought it was gross, unlike me where I was thinking, umm, things.  My
other advice for her would have been to stick with her rocker chick attitude. 
Sure, start "Smile" off as a standard, but then in the middle kick things into a
gear where you could actually perform the song rather than be stuck behind the
microphone.

Me, I’m not hired as an advisor for any of these folks on American
Idol, but here are a couple of other things I would advise for our remaining
contestants:

Haley: Re-watch season one of Idol and follow the Kelly
Clarkson path.  You have an edge on her in that you totally have the looks,
legs, and assets right now, without losing any weight.  Pay a little bit
more attention to your singing and performing, but keep the outfits kind of
skimpy.

Jordin: Watch your outfits so that they don’t make you look
fat.  You already have the voice.

LeKisha: You have the voice but
you perform like a linebacker.  Perform like Aretha.

Melinda: It
looks like you have been losing weight, and if so, keep it up.  If not,
keep picking the outfits like you did this week.  Also, watch your smile
and keep it tight.  Never let your upper lip go above your teeth showing
your gums.

All of the Dudes: Phil, always wear something to cover your
bald head.  Chris & Blake, you two aren’t dudettes, so I’d rather see you
both gone.  Sanjaya, keep being the Sanjaya you have found, and pray people
like me don’t lose interest in the "Vote for Sanjaya" movement.

It’s back to
animating for me, and seeing if I can maintain my loyalty to the Sanjaya
movement, when I probably, as a dude, should be shifting it to the "Haley’s
Comet" fan club.

Vote for Sanjaya, and Haley.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Though not nearly as cute as Gwen last week, Tony Bennett was the helper coach
for this week’s "American Idol."  Maybe it’s because the show is trimmed
down to an hour, but the clips didn’t show Tony helping the kids that much, just
giving his opinion (always nice) about the contestants.  But as I’m a
half-hour in for this  re-cap, and trying to hit the redial as much as
possible between sentences, my votes for Sanjaya seem to be blocked by busy
circuits.  And other than Gina’s performance, I couldn’t be more happy.

In
any case, here are my reviews of tonight’s "American Idol" performances.

Blake: Sings "Mack the Knife." I actually think he did a fantastic job this
week, up until the ending, and I usually don’t like him. He kept it mostly how
the song should be sung.

Phil: Sings "Night and Day." That bald head just does not work (he
should have worn a nice top hat or derby). His singing was okay, but I don’t
think this was a good week for him. I found him boring. Paula said he reminded
her of a young Frank Sinatra, and Simon said it best simply blurting out "What?"

Melinda: Sings "I’ve Got Rhythm." Keeping with my superficial-ness, it
almost looks like she is trying to lose some weight, or at least is just picking
better clothes. Of all of her performances this one puts her totally, especially
if she is losing some weight, back on the right track. She just needs to quit
smiling so big – popping out the upper gum.

Chris: Sings "Don’t Get Around Much Anymore." He didn’t seem to
understand the crooner thing, and I thought he was bad, even with the nice lid.
Maybe it was better live than on TV because the judges liked it, but I thought
he sucked.

Jordin: Sings "On a Clear Day." Horrible outfit, and she almost seems
to be putting on weight, or horrible outfits. Her singing was okay but for the
most part I found her boring, which bums me out because I really liked her at
the beginning of the competition. Probably better live for the audience.

Gina: Sings "Smile." I thought she sounded great, but really lacked on
the performance side of it, although I’m hot sure how you "perform" that song.
If she wanted to blast this out of the water she would have kept it calm for the
first half of the song, then turned it into a rocker for the second half. Too
bad.

Sanjaya: Sings "I’m in Heaven." He still can’t sing on stage, but he
has figured out that all he needs to do is "work the crowd." The hair was more
conservative this week. All he needs to do is worry about his hair and outfits.

Haley: Sings "Ain’t Misbehavin’." She has learned to flaunt her
assets, sings okay (crooner songs are definitely not her forte), but I don’t
care because according to my TV she is saving all of her love for me.

LeKisha: Sings "Stormy Weather." I’m sorry, but as nice as she sings
all I can think is that if I gave her a bad review she would beat the crap out
of me. Great voice, but somehow she needs to find the right people to make her
flip into being glamorous in an Aretha Franklin kind of way.

This will be an interesting week to see who gets voted off because of many
outside sources, and the fact that the youngins probably have no clue who Tony
Bennett is.  I’m still voting for Sanjaya, Haley, and Gina, because at
least for Haley and Gina, they have the looks to become an American Idol,
although Melinda seems to be closing in fast.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!