Author: Andy Labis

What’s New? How Do you Review a Movie Like “Jackass Number Two.”

By:

The Dude on the Right
In my years of doing movie reviews I stumbled across a weird thing today: 
How do you review a movie that really isn’t a movie?  For this case it was
my review of "Jackass Number Two," and I didn’t know where to go with it,
especially since I found the movie very funny in a kind of way that can’t be
reviewed.  And maybe that is why some of the other movie critics can’t like
this movie for what it is, because this is a movie that can’t really be reviewed
in the movie review kind of way.  There is no plot development, they’re not
seeing this movie for cinematography, and there aren’t any special effects for
them to go "goo-goo, gaa-gaa" over.  Maybe they just can’t see the humor in
a guy trying to hitch a ride on a big red rocket (in this case Johnny
Knoxville), nor why anyone would want to see what horse semen tastes like. 
Yet they try to review "Jackass Number Two" like it’s "Titanic."

But really,
"Jackass," as I see it, in its core, is a movie about a bunch of dude-friends
bonding, each time, because we all do stupid stuff at times, and what worse time
than to have all of our friends around us laughing at us when it happens. 
Or in a funnier case, when all of your friends are in on a joke, tormenting one
of your friends.  Sure the likes of Johnny Knoxville, Bam, Wee Man,
Steve-O, and the rest of the Jackass boys take it to another level, but as boys,
at least those of us who got outside sometimes instead of stuck behind a
Playstation, didn’t you want to see if you could actually jump off a roof using
an umbrella to coast you down? (It doesn’t work).  When isn’t someone
getting hit in the balls not funny? (Except when it is you and your balls). 
And didn’t you ever try to jump your bike over anything? (And you crashed on
your ass to the delight of your friends).

In any case I did my review of
"Jackass Number Two," but as I look back on if after writing this blog, and
fellow critics, take this to heart, you can’t really review the movie. 
There should be only be two reviews for the "Jackass Number Two.": "It’s funny
as hell," or "I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out and vomit."  Any
reviewer who give this movie a middle-of-the road review, like 2 stars out of 4,
is copping out by A: Not wanting to admit that the movie made them laugh their
ass off, thus reducing their reviewing street-cred.  Or B: Were so
disgusted you can’t understand why guys think this shit is funny, yet understand
that some people find this funny so I have to at least give it 2 stars. 
Me, I understand the appeal of the movie, and that’s why
I gave it 5 stars out
of 5.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

This One’s not about Sears, but about Jennifer Lopez and Tornados.

By:

The Dude on the Right
As the day started out I only had one idea for a blog today, and that was to say
that I might shop at Sears again.  This was in follow-up to
a
blog I wrote a few weeks ago, even though I never fully explained my Mom’s
issue with Sears.  But the other day my Mom e-mailed me that it seems the
letter she wrote to the CEO person at Sears expressing her disappointment with
her purchase had a result.  And I was going to share that with you, until,
today, I realized I still want to be a Jennifer Lopez stalker.

And not the
Jennifer Lopez you might think, the one who gets made fun of for having a big
booty.

I’m talking about a different Jennifer Lopez, and it came about like
this…

I was doing some computer consulting south of Chicago today, and in
the forecast was the chance for some severe weather in the Chi-Town area. 
In about the middle of the afternoon I checked the local radar on my cell phone
and coming near the dude-pad was a rain-cell with some yellow and orange. 
At this point I knew the storms were starting to fire up, but didn’t really
think nothing of it.  At least until I was heading back home.

Suddenly my
cell phone started playing the "Looney Tunes" theme so I knew it was someone I
knew, and then I saw it was a text message.  I recognized the call-sign,
and it was "The Weather Channel"
letting me know that there was a tornado warning in the city I live in. 
Yup, that’s right, a tornado warning.  "Fuck," I thought to myself. 
And then my cell phone started ringing again, and even though the phone number
was strange I answered it, and it was a pre-recorded message from

Jim Cantore from "The Weather Channel, also telling me there was a tornado
warning where I lived.

It was a couple of years ago that I subscribed to "The
Weather Channel’s"

"Notify!" service, and even though I had heard Jim Cantore call me before
(because I had set my alert levels to broad), this time it was doing exactly
what I subscribed it to do, because the only thing I really worry about, where I
live, are tornados, because I can pay enough attention to the weather to know if
thunderstorms are coming, if snowstorms are coming, but tornadoes don’t give you
a lot of warning and my messages from "The Weather Channel" beat my local radio
news channels by about 5 minutes, which I wouldn’t have even tuned into (I’m a
Sirius satellite radio fan) unless I had gotten that initial text message.

So
I’m still driving home, and find out that the tornado warnings are north of the
dude-pad, and I say warnings because I also got a couple of other messages on my
phone on my way home that the tornado warnings were expanding around me. 
But I get home, and this is really where my

Jennifer Lopez stalking rekindled.

At times I am a Weather Channel junkie. 
I can watch it for hours, although I’m not as addicted to the colorful graphics
as my sister, she still goes through withdrawals when she doesn’t get enough. 
Part of my watching, though, is for the weather dudettes, and a while back
Jennifer Lopez was my girl.  She was cute, has a great smile, even got
pregnant, but I was her fan.  Then I slowly got off of my Weather Channel
addiction, except only for the major weather, and in the case of a hurricane,

Stephanie Abrams was the new girl for me.  Blowing out there in the
wind, hoping shit wasn’t going to hit her in the head, she also had a great
smile, a bubbly personality, and I was her weather fan.

Until today.

When I
get home, wondering if a tornado is going to come blowing away the dude-pad, I
quickly tuned to The Weather Channel and there was

Jennifer Lopez, looking as smoking-hot as ever on my TV, with a different
hairdo than I remembered, and she got me through the danger of wondering if the
life around me would be destroyed by a tornado (actually, I was able to read the
radar and knew I was pretty much safe, but it was still fantastic to see her).

I don’t know if the weather caused any tragedies right now in the Chicagoland
area, and I know a lot of it was bad, but a big part of me was glad the
pre-recorded Jim Cantore called me, warning of deadly weather nearby, but now
that I’m back being a stalker of Jennifer Lopez, I wonder if the "Weather
Channel" "Notify!"
service could tailor who calls you when the weather blows.  I know I would
prefer hearing Jennifer Lopez blowing me bad news, rather than Jim Cantore.

But on a serious note, if you are in an area where immediate bad weather can
come and destroy your life, like a tornado, and you don’t always make yourself
aware, subscribe to a service like "Notify!",
buy one of those weather radios at Radio Shack (it helped me when I was a
manager of a "Shack" once), or anything.  As much as I would prefer
Jennifer Lopez calling me rather than Jim Cantore, and even though the tornado
warnings were north of my dude-pad, I felt better getting the warnings, minutes
before I was notified in other ways, and if things were bad, those minutes might
have saved my life, or at least given me ample time to get my camera.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Tickle Me Elmo Equals Getting Rich – Maybe, TV Viewing is Going Well, Do I Want to be a Loser, and My Niece is?

For this podcast, The Dude on the Right discusses his get-rich-quick scheme he forgot to implement by buying up the new “Tickle Me Elmo’s”, and is happy his first week of TV viewing went well (he likes “The Class,” still hasn’t fully committed to “Dancing with the Stars,” and is a total fan of “Survivor”). He just doesn’t know if he wants to try to be a “loser” or not, and if he does, if he should do it in public.

Tickle Me Elmo Equals Getting Rich – Maybe, TV Viewing is Going Well, Do I Want to be a Loser, and My Niece is?

By:

The Dude on the Right
I was afraid that I missed the money-making opportunity of the season.  No,
not the stock market.  No, not internet porn.  I’m talking about the
new "Tickle
Me Elmo T.M.X."  But that’s not nearly as important for this podcast as
my first week of new TV viewing is going swimmingly.  I did develop one
dilemma with this week’s viewing and that is if

I should try to be a loser.  I know one person who isn’t a loser, but
you’ll have to listen to find out who that is.

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

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What’s New? A Movie Review of “Gridiron Gang.”

For this movie review of “Gridiron Gang,” The Dude on the Right almost had a private screening. He likes the story, likes the movie, but thinks it drags on about 15 to 20 minutes too long. He thinks The Rock was great, but wishes the football game scenes were, well, you’ll have to read the review to find out.

What’s New? A Podcast of: Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up: Stu’s Sick, and He Also Has a Cold, Chicken Pox, “The Last Kiss,” and “Gridiron Gang.”

For this podcast of “Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up,” we find that Stu Gotz is sick, and he also has a cold. His little Stu’s sadly got the Chicken Pox, even though they had the vaccine, and The Dude on the Right reminds Stu about The Dude’s Chicken Pox run. The Dude does tell Stu a little about “The Last Kiss” and “Gridiron Gang,” while Stu warns The Dude’s niece that having your uncle profess your “coolness” might not be a good thing. What does Stu know?

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up: Stu’s Sick, and He Also Has a Cold, Chicken Pox, “The Last Kiss,” and “Gridiron Gang.”

By:

The Dude on the Right
Stu and I survived another weekend, although both of our weekend’s could have
used more excitement.  For this weekend wrap-up we find out Stu is sick,
and he has a cold, too.  He also wonders why his kids are in the 8% not
covered by the chicken pox vaccine since they both have the pox.  I remind
Stu that I had the pox, sadly for me, it was while I was in my 20’s.  It
seems my mother never let me partake in a "chicken pox party" when I was
younger.

For me, I saw "The Last Kiss" and "Gridiron Gang" and inform Stu of my
all-encompassing, yet brief, synopsis of what I thought about the flicks. 
I forgot to tell Stu about my failed concert event on Saturday, but oh well. 
Lastly, Stu questions the logic of my niece, who wants me to profess her
"coolness."  Stu does have a point, maybe.

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Download and Listen Here Subscribe Here



Yahoo! Podcasts

My Sunday was Supposed to be More productive. I’m Blaming the Spinach.

By:

The Dude on the Right
I really wanted to be a little more productive this weekend, but today I woke up
feeling a little out of sorts.  I’m blaming it on bad spinach.  In any
case I still hauled my ass to my local gigaplex to catch the 10:15AM showing of
"Gridiron
Gang" so that I could get back to the dude-pad without missing much of the
Chicago Bears kicking the crap out of the Detroit Lions, even though Roy
Williams of the Lions said

his team would prevail.  You would think the Bears’ winning would have
helped me feel a little better, but then I watched the
Chicago White Sox get
swept by the Oakland A’s, and it took all I had to get my clothes in the laundry
and get my ass trying to get some stuff done.

The things I didn’t get done
were my reviews of "The
Last Kiss" (a much darker movie than the trailers tended to show, though
still good) and "Gridiron Gang" (a decent movie about overcoming adversity,
though I still wanted The Rock to yell ‘Can you smell what The Mustangs are
cookin’!), some cleaning of the dude-pad (thank god for my dishwasher so I’ve at
least got some clean dishes for the coming week), and getting my TiVo’s
programmed with their Season Passes for the upcoming week.  At least I washed
my clothes so I’ve got clean and

only a couple of week’s old underwear, paid a couple of bills, and did this
blog.

I think Stu and I are geared to do our weekend wrap-up tomorrow, and
I’ll do my best to get some movie reviewing done.  Damn spinach.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!