Author: Andy Labis

American Psycho

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

American Psycho
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Christian Bale, William Dafoe, Reese Witherspoon
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Lions Gate Films
Kiddie Movie: Don’t even think, or have the slightest inkling, to bring anyone under, well, anyone young.
Date Movie: This might be a better movie to see solo.
Gratuitous Sex: Yup, it has it!
Gratuitous Violence: It’s about a killer. Yes, I would consider it violent, and very gratuitous.
Action: No action really.
Laughs: Mostly because it was so over the top.
Memorable Scene: Any of the killing scenes.
Memorable Quote: Too long to write down, but anytime Patrick is giving his spiel about pop music.
Directed By: Mary Harron

Sometimes a movie is spooky-scary, sometimes a movie is gory-scary, and sometimes a movie is just so over the top that it can be more like a comedy than the shocker it is supposed to be. Such was my feeling after seeing “American Psycho.”

“American Psycho” is adapted from a novel that is supposedly even more twisted than the movie. I wouldn’t know, I never read it. But this is what I do know. “American Psycho” looks good, Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman almost inspires me to get up and do 1000 crunches in the morning, buy some girly facial products, be glad I wasn’t on Wall Street during the eighties, and from now on, whenever I hear some Huey Lewis and the News or Phil Collins, the only image in my head will be of and axe wielding psycho or a threesome, respectively.

I guess the easiest way to put the synopsis is something like this – Like I said, Christian Bale plays Patrick Bateman. He’s a Wall Street kind of dude in the eighties. Simple enough. But the dude is nuts. I don’t mean sits all day and talks to imaginary people or is classified as what most people would consider nuts, I’m talking this dude has too many cards in his deck, and most of those extras have to do with popular music. The problem with these extra cards – they make him need to kill people.

So, you’ve got this Wall Street dude, lunching with his Wall Street buddies, all playing the “I’m better than you” game by flashing business cards and telling which restaurant they could get into, but Patrick takes it another step further by hacking up his friends and women. Alright, so the guy is psycho, and I guess maybe to be totally psycho it has to be way over the top, but can you keep a straight face and not chuckle when our hero is running down an apartment hallway, butt-naked, wielding a chainsaw, chasing his next victim. I just laughed. And maybe that’s the problem with “American Psycho,” maybe it’s just too over the top to be shocking. Sure, it was interested to hear Patrick recite his reviews of some of the top hits of the eighties as he gets ready to behead a victim or two, how underrated some of the earlier work of Huey Lewis was or how Phil Collins really came into his own after he went solo, but it was just so bizarre that I wasn’t freaked out by it, and just couldn’t wait to see how our hero would take out his next victim (I was really looking forward to the nail gun through the head – damn phone call!).

Is “American Psycho” a good movie. I would say it is interesting. It looks good, Christian Bale plays the calm, cool, collected psycho in a way that almost makes being a psycho a cool option, and it does try to touch on how stupid power brokers on Wall Street can act to the rest of us, but it could have been more shocking by maybe being less shocking. I don’t know if that made any sense, but I was just more entertained than shocked, whether that was the intention or not.

“American Psycho” gives a movie with a lot of quality kills, some quality sex, and a new look at popular music in the eighties. It also made me laugh. On a normal scale I would have given “American Psycho” about 2 stars, but add in the triad off kills, sex, and eighties music, well, let’s nock that up a few notches to 4 stars out of 5. So over the top it was funny, I wasn’t really sure if I wasted my money or got my money’s worth. But it did leave an image.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Pie 2

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:50 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

American Pie 2 – DVD Review
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Haningan, Chris Klein, Natasha Lyonne, Eugene Levy, Seann William Scott, Tara Reid, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Home Video
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want to explain why super glue can be funny.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk, a nipple or two, unfortunately none of them were Michelle’s nor Vicky’s.
Gratuitous Violence: Maybe shoving a trumpet up someone’s ass, but that’s about it.
Action: Only boys hoping they don’t get caught by potential lesbians.
Laughs: Just like the first movie.
Memorable Scene: Stiffler’s unrequested golden shower as well as Jim playing the trombone.
Memorable Quote: Jim at band camp: “My name is Petey and I have gigantic balls!” and Jim’s Dad: “Don’t forget your penis cream.”
Directed By: J.B Rogers

I’ve got a couple of questions for you. Did you like “American Pie?” You did. You’ll probably like “American Pie 2.” You didn’t like “American Pie?” Don’t rent or buy “American Pie 2.” It’s as simple as that.

So our favorite characters are fresh out of their first year of college and they’re all looking to party for the next three months, as well as get laid, but when the cops bust Stifler’s summer, kick-off party it’s looking like a boring summer. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), though, is extra bummed because he ran into Vicky (Tara Reid) and again turns to his older brother for advice. The brother’s suggestion – rent a beach house for the summer, work during the day and party every night, and by the end of the summer you’ll have a life revelation. So our boys rent a house and work as painters.

Well, kinda like the first movie all of our characters have their problems. Jim (Jason Biggs) is worried because Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is coming to visit and she’s hoping Jim has learned a little control. Jim, though, knows he still doesn’t have what it takes. Then you’ve got Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), still in love with Stifler’s mom, learning tantric sex to improve his lovemaking. Oz (Chris Klein) is in general okay but a little worried because Heather (Mena Suvari) is over in Europe. And you know what, screw it, I’m not going to explain to you their problems, I’m sure you’ve got your own, but do you get the jokes like you did in the original? Yes, you get the jokes you expect, you even get some that are a little more gross, and you also get the predictable story you probably want, too.

I won’t ruin any of the jokes, although if you did see the trailer for “American Pie 2” you know what Jim’s masturbation problem is this time. And true to form you get Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy), perfect as the goofy dad who is a great dad and, well, now seems to just want Jim to sleep with Nadia.

Did our boys grow up any? Yes, but not nearly as much as the girls. Tara looks even better, and Alyson Haningan as Michelle is even more adorable in her slightly annoying way. There are some hilarious scenes, some gross scenes, and some boring scenes, but as sequels go “American Pie 2” does its best to keep you interested in the characters (although some you wonder why some are listed so high on the credits, like Mena who is barely on screen) while still has you looking forward to seeing two women get it on.

The DVD version is full of extras that are actually worth having a DVD player (see “Cool Things About the DVD” below), and it still holds up as a comedy about growing up.

I got what I expected and the DVD stuff was worthwhile, so I’m giving “American Pie 2” 4 stars out of 5. Shannon didn’t get naked this time, although, honestly, she’s lost a couple of notches in my book while Tara moved up a few (she didn’t get naked either), but that doesn’t compare to the extended scene of the two dudettes our heroes think are lesbians.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Outlaws

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

American Outlaws
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Colin Farrell, Scott Caan, Ali Larter, Timothy Dalton, Gabriel Macht, Will McCormack, Gregory Smith, Kathy Bates, Nathaniel Arcand, Ronny Cox, Harris Yulin
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Kiddie Movie: There’s some violence, but not too bad.
Date Movie: She’ll probably find it stupid.
Gratuitous Sex: Some kissing and talk.
Gratuitous Violence: Some people get shot and beat up.
Action: A few good action scenes.
Laughs: Probably not intentionally, but quite a few.
Memorable Scene: Jesse escaping from the bad guys, or were they the good guys?
Memorable Quote: “She took my dog.”
Directed By: Les Mayfield

Does anybody really know the true story of Jesse James? Does anybody really care? Probably not anymore since the various stories of Jesse James have made him out to be a good guy, a bad guy, kinda funny, kinda dark, and, well, the truth is out there but moviegoers will probably never see it, and you definitely don’t see it in the movie “American Outlaws.” What you do get is an almost comical look at a fake story based around the James-Younger Gang.

For “American Outlaws” you get Jesse James (Colin Farrell) and Cole Younger (Scott Caan). They and their brothers are fighting in the Civil War together, having a grand ole time dodging bullets and “killing the Yankees” which makes their mama proud, but sadly the war comes to an end so it’s time to go home. But back at home times are troubling. The mean, nasty railroad men are trying to buy the farmland but the townsfolk won’t sell. So the mean, nasty railroad men turn up the heat, blowing up some houses and killing Jesse’s mama. Jesse, fresh on the hills of a new romance with Zee (Ali Larter), ditches the chick, rounds up his Civil War fighting buddies, and it’s off to get revenge by hitting the railroad men where it hurts – stealing their money and blowing up their railroad tracks.

Now don’t go to see “American Outlaws” expecting a great western because, well, it ain’t. This is a movie which actually ends up more like a comedy because the things that happen are so stupid, although I don’t think that’s what the movie-makers had in mind. Some cases in point: The James-Younger Gang is a group of nice robbers. If you don’t shoot at them, well, they won’t shoot you – they just want your money. And if you do shoot at them and there are dozens of you, you are all bad shots while Jesse and Cole could probably shoot a man dead from two miles away in a heavy crosswind if need be. Also you can expect the obligatory “guy getting tossed out of the saloon window ending up in a street fight in the rain and mud” scene.

And then, of course, you know Jesse is going to get caught, and then, of course, you know he’s going to get loose, and then, of course, you know it will be in some fun, action-scene kind of way. Now these might seem like bad things, but they are the kind of things that really save “American Outlaws” because it makes you not take the movie so seriously, makes you not really care if the story is true, but if you just sit back, relax, and let the cheesy things make you chuckle you will enjoy the movie a little bit more.

In the end I’ll give “American Outlaws” 2 ½ stars out of 5. The opening scene of Jesse distracting the army while being shot at takes the reality out of the movie right away and lets you know not to take the movie seriously. Let the dorky jokes happen, let the cheesy dialogue cause you to chuckle and groan, and don’t try to understand why Jesse’s gun’s don’t get ruined when his house burns down. Just let things happen.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Hooray for Survivor, Hooray for Chuck! Boo for The Green Hornet, Boo for Flat Tires.

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

Sure, we’re a week and a day late for this podcast, but that don’t stop us none! Nope, during this podcast episode of our “Weekend Wrap-Up!”, I explain to Stu Gotz how Boston Rob was a great player during “Survivor,” and truly deserved to win. I also give my breakdown of the movie “Thor” to him, but with the summer movie season now upon us, Stu figures he still won’t go and see it, but does have hope for the new “Pirates of the Carribean” flick. Stu sort of had hopes for “The Green Hornet,” but those hopes were quickly squashed, while both of us had the hope of the TV show “Chuck” come to fruition.

I’m excited by the Chicago Bulls and Stu isn’t; Stu had a fun time with the Gotz family and their RV, and I don’t have one; I forgot to send an RSVP and Stu didn’t; Neither of us have tickets to Oprah’s final show, but both of us know how to pronounce library.

All of that and more, and Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this podcast! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Burn After Reading

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:36 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Burn After Reading
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, J.K. Simmons
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Focus Features
Release Date: 2008
Kiddie Movie: For the love of your children, leave them at home.
Date Movie: If she likes espionage and is kind of kinky.
Gratuitous Sex: Talk, The Liberator, and a chair.
Gratuitous Violence: Someone carries a gun and it goes off, and I’m not talking about his wiener.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Tons, once you get into it.
Memorable Scene: Harry might be a psychopathic killer!
Memorable Quote: Too many to quote.
Directed By: Joel and Ethan Coen

And just when you think Harry (George Clooney) is a bad guy in “Burn After Reading,” you just come to realize that he really just wants to make his wife, and maybe some other women, happy.

Such is part of the twisted tale of “Burn After Reading,” a movie from the Coen boys, that takes a little bit of time to get going, but once it kicks in, be ready to laugh, be ready to shriek, and be ready to wonder if a boob job is really worth keeping a government secret.

The basic premise is that Osborne Cox (John Malkovich), married to Katie (Tilda Swinton), works for the CIA, but rather than getting demoted, he decides to quit, much to the dismay of Katie. But Osborne has a plan, and in a weird twist of copying information from a computer, a CD with information that looks like super-secret spy information falls into the hands of Chad (Brad Pitt) and Linda (Frances McDormand). Chad and Linda are trainers at a local fitness center where Linda is obsessed with getting some plastic surgery to maintain her aging physique although she doesn’t have the cash, while Chad is just a dope, who is more fascinated in the game of having a super-secret spy CD, and if some money rolls his way, oh, what the hell?

So Chad and Linda begin their escapade to trade the CD back to Osborne, for a sizeable reward of course, but in the meantime events have been set in motion that will intertwine all of their lives, much to the confusement of the CIA superior dude, played by J.K. Simmons. It turns out that multiple people are sleeping with other people, some divorces are in play, and when government secrets are involved, as is the Russian consulate, things can get really weird, really fast, and as “Burn After Reading” ends up at its conclusion, well, you might wonder who you were really rooting for in this movie. That doesn’t matter because I think they all get what they deserve, except for maybe Chad, who got what he deserved only because he is a dope.

The thing with “Burn After Reading” is that as you are trying to get yourself through the first 30 minutes or so, you will probably be scratching your head quite a bit, wondering why, if he is sleeping with her, and she is looking for love on the internet, and he might be an alcoholic, well, how will these stories intertwine, but let me tell you, the Coen brothers do their best to weave a twisted tale of infidelity, government espionage, and sex furniture, into a fun-filled movie that if you let yourself go with it, and might just give you a laugh that will have that soda coming out of your nose if you take that drink at the wrong time.

I can understand people not liking “Burn After Reading,” but for me, I loved it. I didn’t 5 Star love it, because it did take a while to get moving, but Brad Pitt playing a dope was so spot on, the laugh I got with those in the theater that probably subscribe to magazines like Rolling Stone, Maxim, or Playboy was great, and as preposterous as most everything was in the movie, it just worked so well that I didn’t care once things started rolling. With all of that, and with a lot of weird laughter, I’m giving “Burn After Reading” 4 stars out of 5. It’s all adult fare, and fine, you can probably wait until the movie hits the DVD side, but I laughed a lot. Government espionage meets kinky sex. And Brad Pitt as a dope: If that intrigues you, you’ll probably like “Burn After Reading,” too.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bruno

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:21 Long
A DVD Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bruno
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Gustaf Hammarsten, Paula Abdul, Ron Paul, Snoop Dog
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Release Date: 2009
Kiddie Movie: Please send them to bed.
Date Movie: If she liked Borat, she might like Bruno.
Gratuitous Sex: In way, crazy ways. And then some more.
Gratuitous Violence: Some whipping and ultimate fighting that turns into, well, nevermind.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Much better when you can fast-forward through the “movie” parts.
Memorable Scene: The hotel room with Diesel.
Memorable Quote: “It’s like riding a little horse.”
Directed By: Larry Charles

As sometimes I am lazy, after I let you know about the DVD, below is my original review of the movie “Bruno” when it hit theaters. Having seen the DVD, however, I have to say that:

As a movie, with plot, acting, scenery, etc., “Bruno” is still just dumb and probably deserves the Zero Stars my BFF wanted to give it.
On DVD the movie is so much better; I’m even saying 4 stars out of 5, instead of the 3 that I gave the theater version.
So I can hear you saying something like “How can the movie be better on DVD?”, and my simple answer is because you can easily fast-forward through most of the “plot” parts and just laugh at stupid people, and now add the extras on the DVD that give you way more people and things to laugh at. Yes, I still found the hotel room scene with Diesel a riot, but that’s not what we watch someone like “Bruno” for, do we? I don’t think so. I think we watch him for making ordinary people look like buffoons, the movie still has plenty of them to laugh at, but the DVD gives you another hour of buffoonery because, come on, who wouldn’t watch, in utter amazement, as baseball great Pete Rose is being interviewed by Bruno while sitting on a human chair, and when LaToya Jackson says “It’s like riding a little horse,” I almost spit my drink on my TV screen. The extended fashion show footage is great, the extended TV station footage is unbelievable, I am even more disturbed by parents who want their children to be in movies, and for great viewing pleasure, the interview with Hollywood Agent Lloyd Robinson is hilarious. There is also a commentary track where Sacha Baron Cohen and the director, Larry Charles, explain some of the scenes, but I’ll be honest with you, as funny as the movie can be, I didn’t want to spend another hour and a half re-watching it, again, to find out how dumb people really could be.

With that, if you like the jokes of “Bruno” and “Borat,” go ahead and get the DVD. I didn’t see the Blu-ray version so I can’t say that it’s necessary for your viewing pleasure, but being able to jump from joke to joke, in a more rapid-fire format, makes the movie that much better. 4 stars out of 5 for the DVD, 3 stars if you are just watching the “movie” portion.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! And here’s my original review when “Bruno” was in the theater… L8R!!!

As my BFF and I were leaving “Bruno” I overheard a dude who was also leaving say to his friend “I don’t even know what to say about that,” to which his friend said he found the movie hilarious. Then my BFF said to me, “That movie was horrible… Zero stars… but you were laughing so hard I thought you were going to pee your pants.” Yup, I’m a sucker for a “talking” penis joke, and I did laugh a lot, but I also have to agree with my BFF when she said, “Bruno is no Borat.” I guess I’ll start with the loose story…

Bruno is another character created by Sacha Baron Cohen from his “Ali G” days, a gay fashion-meister who desires to be as well known as one of Austria’s other kin (there is a off color joke in there). Sadly for Bruno he is kicked out of the fashion world when an interview goes horribly wrong, and now, jilted by his lover, Diesel, he decides to head to the United States, with his assistant’s assistant, Lutz, to conquer America, only America isn’t ready for his brand of conquering.

Okay, why am I spending a lot of time on the story? It is there, but it’s not really why we want to see “Bruno,” is it? Probably not. I’m thinking most people are heading to see this movie to watch common people, and a celebrity-ish type or two, get tricked into a fake interview/situation by Bruno, the way we loved seeing people skewered by Borat, but for this one, for the most part, it’s too easy to bait people on the homophobia aspect, or even the “outrageousness” of using people as stools and trying to get Paula Abdul to eat sushi off a naked man. I have to say that this time I spent more time saying “Yup, the National Guard dudes knew they were in on some kind of joke,” and “How hard is it, really, to stir up a group of ultimate fighting fans when you start making out with the other dude in the ring?” Sure, seeing the gay-bashing by the fighting fans is sad, but not nearly as much as when Borat stirred up the anti-Semitism at the bar in the previous movie.

And yet I laughed, was disgusted at people (the parents peddling their kids to make them stars should have the local DCFS folks radars going off), and just couldn’t believe Ron Paul’s people didn’t investigate the release they were signing to get let Bruno interview him.

I can hear you asking me, “Alright, dude, just tell me if I should see the damn movie?” Well, I want to give the movie a better rating than 3 stars, but I just can’t, and it’s not because I didn’t laugh a lot because I did, and it’s not because Sacha Baron Cohen doesn’t make great use of people who just don’t have a clue, because he does. I suppose part of the thing is that the movie seems almost too easy, like I said before, but I think it’s also because the “utterly disturbing yet funny as hell” shocking scene in the movie happened too early in the film for me, leaving the rest of the film as just one little skit after another. Hmm, how to put this without giving it away? Okay, remember in “Borat” (I’m assuming you already saw it) when you were just starting to get bored with how foolish Borat was making people seem and then there was the gross-out, nude fighting scene with the obese dude and naked men running through the convention bringing you right back into the laughter? Well, for “Bruno,” that scene happens early in the film, and although there is a bondage scene in the middle of the film, it doesn’t compare, so for most of the movie it’s just another foolish person/situation followed by another foolish person/situation.

I do understand why my BFF didn’t like this movie at all, and she probably knows why I did, but unlike “Borat,” “Bruno” doesn’t seem to have the cross-over appeal to draw in more than people like me who will nearly pee their pants just at the site of a exercise bicycle with a dildo attached to it. As such, I’m sticking with my 3 stars out of 5 (for the movie only).

Bringing Out the Dead

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:58 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bringing Out the Dead
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Patricia Arquette, John Goodman, Ving Rhames, Marc Anthony
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures, Touchstone Pictures
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Don’t even think about bringing them unless they are an aspiring filmmaker.
Date Movie: She might get grossed out and hold your hand.
Gratuitous Sex: There might have been, but I don’t remember it.
Gratuitous Violence: Some graphic scenes.
Action: Mostly sped-up film scenes.
Laughs: Lots of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: While Frank treats an over-dose case, his partner Marcus convinces the dude’s friends that he can be brought back from the dead if they all pray while Frank treats him.
Memorable Quote: While impaled on an iron fence, the drug dude says “I’m trying to watch my weight and look what happens.
Directed By: Martin Scorsese

I can understand why all of the critics will be giving “Bringing Out the Dead” rave reviews because in terms of filmmaking things, i.e. cinematography, artsy looks, creative-like acting, and I suppose being different in looks than a blockbuster, “Bringing Out the Dead” scores high marks on all of those things if that’s what you’re looking for in a movie. Maybe because I’m not a film-school type person, or maybe because I’ve never studied film, or maybe because I just want a film to entertain me and can usually get around brilliant cinematography and even some not-so-great acting, but in the end “Bringing Out the Dead” didn’t entertain me that much. I’m not saying it wasn’t great film work, because it was, and I did chuckle a couple of times, but in the end I just walked out saying “I guess it was okay,” and “I hope if I need a paramedic that I don’t get any of those knuckleheads.”

“Bringing Out the Dead” tells the story of a stressed-out paramedic, Frank, played by Nicolas Cage, and takes us on a few nights of his psychotic behavior. He is tormented by the ghost of a girl whom he couldn’t save and gets teamed up with some even more psychotic paramedic buddies. In the meantime he begins to fall for Mary (Patricia Arquette), the daughter of a man who Frank brought, unwillingly supposedly by the voices the body tells Frank, back to life (although he’s still basically brain-dead). Through the nearly two hours we get Frank and his paramedic buddies responding to various calls, with the druggie Noel (Marc Anthony) being the main calls, treated to multiple visits of the hospital emergency room, and begin to wonder if paramedics are really like this (I hope mine aren’t).

It’s a twisted movie, especially Frank’s paramedic buddies. We get Larry (John Goodman) as one of them, we get Marcus (Ving Rhames) as another (probably bringing the most laughs as he works the dispatcher lady over the microphone and plays a preacher while Frank revives an overdose call), and Tom (Tom Sizemore) who seems to like his job mostly so that he can fuck with people. And there is poor Frank, trying desperately to hold it together but really hoping he would just get fired.

Like I said, as a movie-making film “Bringing Out the Dead” is up there with the best of them. The scenes flow, the acting is top-notch, and there are a lot of visuals to deal with. But, and maybe because of these things too, the movie had many of those artsy slow spots that drop the entertainment value down a notch or two. I don’t know, I know Martin Scorsese is a great filmmaker, but sometimes for the boring movie-goer like me, well, I don’t get into the artsy stuff. I loved the scenes with Frank’s buddy, Marcus, especially at the rave party where he convinces the overdose’s friends that if they all pray together that their buddy will come back from the dead, and the visits to the emergency room were generally entertaining, but too many times I looked at my watch and couldn’t believe there was so much time left in the movie.

Well, let’s wrap this up. “Bringing Out the Dead” is a filmmakers film. What I mean by that is that if you appreciate a well made film, well you will probably thoroughly enjoy it. But if you really don’t care about all of that stuff and just want to be entertained, well, “Bringing Out the Dead” probably won’t do it for you. With that I’ll split the rating to 2 ½ stars, but I’m going to add one for the scene where the drug dealer guy is impaled on a fence. So, it’s 3 ½ stars out of 5 from me for “Bringing Out the Dead.”

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Break-Up

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:45 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Break-Up
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Joey Lauren Adams, Ann-Margret, Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau, Judy Davis
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2006
Kiddie Movie: Definitely more adult subject matter.
Date Movie: Both of you might see some similarities in your own arguments.
Gratuitous Sex: Some strippers.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few. Even the fights were funny.
Memorable Scene: Brooke, balling her eyes out, finally explaining to Gary what is wrong, and Gary just looking at her and saying, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
Memorable Quote: Sure, it was in the trailer also, but it’s the line every dude in a relationship wishes he could say: “Why would I want to do dishes?”
Directed By: Peyton Reed

Sometimes while watching a movie I notice the most innocuous things. First, when there was all of the talk of them doing re-shoots for “The Break-Up,” one of the things mentioned was they wanted to make sure things looked current, mentioning that “The Bean,” a wacky piece of art in Chicago, wasn’t completed when they initially did the filming so they came back since it was now complete. Funny, I didn’t remember seeing a shot of “The Bean” in the movie. Then the story changed to something like “We wanted to re-shoot the ending in the matter it was originally written.” So there I am, watching the supposed “new” ending scene, when all I could notice was that one of the cars in the scene seemed to have an old, expired, Illinois license plate on it. The ending scene was nice and all, but now all I could wonder was did some prop dude not realize the Illinois license plate has changed style, or was someone’s car not properly plated. I’ve got to be nuts. Anyway, let’s get to the movie…

“The Break-Up” gives us Vince Vaughn as Gary and Jennifer Aniston as Brooke. Gary is a beer-loving, baseball-loving, fun-time-loving kind of guy. Brooke, well, isn’t nearly that kind of girl, yet she loves Gary. As dude and dudettes in love seem to do, well, they move in together, splitting the mortgage on a condo. But Gary doesn’t seem to appreciate all that Brooke does for him, namely cook, clean, put up with his shit, and look hot for him. Nope, Gary just looks for some down time, preferring to play “Grand Theft Auto” rather than do the dishes. And what dude wouldn’t, as Gary spouts the line most every dude in a relationship would love to spout, “Why would I ‘want’ to do the dishes?” Most dudes, though, know the ramifications of that line, so they keep their mouths shut, but not Gary. And so, our happy couple, that we didn’t actually get to see being that happy together much, break-up. But herein lies the problems: Brooke doesn’t really want to break up. She still loves Gary, but just wants him to appreciate her more. Gary, though, doesn’t pick up that all he needs to say is an “I’m sorry” and “I appreciate you,” because, well, in Gary’s head, he did nothing wrong because Brooke broke up with him. The other problem is since they co-own the condo, neither of them want to move out. So, Brooke hatches plan after plan to make Gary jealous and appreciate her, all of which fail miserably. Gary, on the other hand, still thinks he did nothing wrong, so he begins turning his portion of the condo into bachelor heaven.

Finally things come to a head, their friend finds a buyer for the condo, and the movie takes some of the most realistic turns in a movie about relationships.

The publicity machine for “The Break-Up” seemed to want to promote this movie as a romantic comedy, but really, it isn’t. It actually is a more realistic look at relationships that don’t always seem to go as planned, and that leads to maybe a lot of comedy as we watch from the outside looking in, seeing some of the same arguments in our relationships. You know what happens with that, you lose some of the romance side and instead get a realism a lot of relationship movies don’t have. Look, Brooke is in a relationship trying to get her man to change, only instead of just telling Gary what she asks of him out of the relationship, she tries to manipulate him into seeing things her way. Gary, on the other hand, is a dude who is still trying to figure out what he did wrong when he only bought three lemons instead of twelve, and why it’s wrong for him not to want to do the dishes. When Brooke finally does tell Gary what is really wrong, Gary poses the simple question, “Why didn’t you just tell me that from the beginning?” His buddy, Johnny O (Jon Favreau), finally explains to Gary that Brooke is right, but by this time, things might be too late for our unhappy couple.

There seem to be some complaints about the end of the movie, even the one they re-shot, but I really liked it. The final comment about the re-shoots for the movie state a rumor that test audiences hated the initial ending, so the folks went back for the re-shoot, sticking with the original ending in the original screenplay. I just was happy they stuck with the original ending, or at least this ending, and that’s all I’ll say about this.

Women don’t seem to learn that it is nearly impossible to change their man, especially if they just don’t come out and say what is wrong, because dudes are generally clueless with your manipulations. I liked “The Break-Up” and give it a solid 3 ½ stars out of 5. It would have been 4 stars had we gotten an in-focus shot of Aniston’s “looking fabulous even though it was blurry” butt instead of some dudes in-focus butt. Anyway, finally a more realistic view of a relationship.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Boat Trip

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:34 Long
A Preview by:
– The Dude on the Right

Boat Trip
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz, Vivica A. Fox, Victoria Silvstedt
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Artisan Entertainment
Release Date: 2003
Directed By: Mort Nathan

Alright, so you get Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz as ladies men, but things aren’t going too well for our ladies men on dry land so the book themselves on a cruise and figure it would be a great place to pick up the ladies. The problem is that the end up on a gay cruise, filled with men looking for action, and our boys being the action. So Cuba and Horatio are freaked, want to get off the boat, all until they fall for some of the boat staff. Now they have to pretend they are gay men just looking to be friends with the dudettes, when actually, like most men, they really just want to get in their pants, and maybe have a relationship.

This movie looks kinda funny, but can a movie keep being funny after the first half hour of homophobic gay jokes? We’ll see.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Blast From the Past

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:46 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Blast From the Past
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Alicia Silverstone, Christopher Walken, Sissy Spacek, Dave Foley
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: It’s kinda cute, but more a teen/adult film.
Date Movie: Bring her along.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: A funny fight in the bar between Adam and Eve’s old boyfriend.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Some funny things, but there could have been more.
Memorable Scene: Adam swing dancing and picking up chicks in the bar.
Memorable Quote: Adam to Troy as he’s leaving: “Thanks for always being happy.”
Troy: “Huh?”
Eve to Troy: “Gay.”
Directed By: Hugh Wilson

Sometimes a movie is hilarious, sometimes a movie makes you cry, and sometimes a movie is just cute. “Blast from the Past” had the potential to be all three, but unfortunately didn’t hit on any of them.

The story kinda goes like this: back in the ’60s, Calvin (Christopher Walken), an offbeat scientist, and his wife Helen (Sissy Spacek), who was pregnant at the time, headed to their fallout shelters of all fallout shelters when Calvin thought that the world was being attacked by the Russians. Oddly enough it was just that a plane had fallen onto their house. Adam (Brendan Fraser) is born and spends 30ish years growing up listening to Perry Como, watching “The Honeymooners,” and living in a world constantly stuck in the traditions of the early 60’s. Well, 30ish years later, when they figure all is better, Calvin heads up to the surface to see if things are safe and maybe get some provisions. Well, Calvin gets the shit scared out of him because where their house used to be there’s now a very scary bar, hookers, an adult bookstore, people eating out of the garbage, and people throwing up on the street. Heading back to the security of his fallout shelter, Calvin relates the scary-ness of the world above him to his family. But Calvin gets sick, and mom knows that they need supplies, so she sends Adam up to the surface to find a grocery store and hardware store to get enough food and supplies for the next 30 years. Adam wants to go up their too, but basically to find a chick.

So, up on the surface, armed with 30 year old baseball cards and stocks that are worth millions, Adam gets to experience a world of the ’90s when he grew up in the ’60s. Well, he finds a friend in Eve (Alicia Silverstone), who agrees to help him get the supplies he needs, for little bit of cash, and she ends up falling in love. Adam falls in love, too, but he doesn’t think that Eve loves him, so he still needs to find a wife. Well, Eve takes him to a bar, where one of the funniest scenes in the movie takes place. Oddly enough, this scene has Adam living his 1960s life in the 1990s, but dancing in a bar based on the ’40s.

Well, that’s about all I’ll bore you about the plot. It’s pretty simple, and can be pretty funny, and could probably make you cry, and could be really cute, but no, the movie I think tried to do all three instead of concentrate on one.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’d be a nice matinee film, or a nice one on the couch on video, but the movie didn’t click for me all of the way through. Adam didn’t seem that impressed that Eve’s radio had a digital display and could change channels at the push of a button, we didn’t get to see Adam amazed at the personal-computer in Troy’s (Dave Foley as Eve’s gay, roommate), room, let alone search the Internet for porn. No, a lot of those jokes were just hinted at, and sort of left up to the imagination, but on this afternoon I didn’t want to imagine, I wanted the comedy thrown right in my face.

Brendan did a good job as Adam, with the goofy grin and quirky attitude, not really understanding the ways of the ’90s, and Alicia as Eve, well she wasn’t bad either (and I just love her smile). But, for me, the movie took too long for Adam to get out of the fallout shelter and into the world above him, and in doing so, there wasn’t the time left in the movie to develop the love story as good as a could have, hit on as many of the jokes as it could have, or maybe even teach Adam that the world of the ’90s can be just a little bit more dangerous than the world of the ’60s.

So, should you spend your money? Well, I give the movie 2 1/2 stars out of 5. I think it could have been a lot better, but it was kind of cute.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!