Zach is Funny, Class is Not. Paul Looks Funny, Mars did Not. O.H. will Win, I.L.L. will Not.

By: The Dude on the Right

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I had Gmail issues and want to blame Google for e-mail woes, but during this episode of our “Weekend Wrap-Up!”
podcast
, Stu Gotz isn’t buying it, and he’s probably right, it was my fault. What was Stu’s fault, though, was watching some made for TV movie called “Class,” a product of The Hallmark Channel, which is so right up Stu’s alley. Not.Neither of us saw movies at the theater, though we both think “Battle: Los Angeles” looks cool in a campy kind of way, and also think, and it appears America agrees, that “Mars Needs Moms” looked stupid. On the upcoming movie front, it turns out the upcoming movie, “Paul,” that I mention during the podcast, will not be good for kids as it’s rated R for language and drug use.

I was in a parade and heard bad sexual innuendo jokes, Stu relaxed, The Apprentice and Survivor are great, and in preparation for March Madness I teach Stu how to cheer for The Ohio State University Buckeyes (O. H. – I. O.), and the University of Illinois Fighting Illinoisans (I.L.L. – I.N.I.). Go Bucks!

All of that, our analysis of Saturday Night Live, and more!

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this podcast! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Brokeback Mountain

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:14 Long
A Preview by:
The Dude on the Right

Brokeback Mountain
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway, Randy Quaid, Anna Faris
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Focus Features
Release Date: 2005
Directed By: Ang Lee

Well, I’ll give Ang Lee credit for the varying projects he has chosen to direct. You may have heard about him around the “Sense and Sensibility” time, but for most folks, if I say he directed “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” you would say you saw or heard of that film. He also directed “Hulk,” so we know he’s sensible, crouching, huge, and now, well, he’s directing a film that is catching lots of buzz because, first, it’s supposed to be a great movie, and second, it’s about two cowboys who, as one of the IMDB synopsis’ puts it, unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection. That’s the politically correct version to say that it’s the 1960’s and they are gay. The trailer shows this fact, why can’t they just say it?

Anyway, the movie is set at a time when being homosexual isn’t really a lifestyle you can tell your friends and neighbors about, so our two dudes, Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Ennis (Heath Ledger) go about keeping their true love secret while living the lives of hetero’s.

Visually the movie looks great, and I’m sure some will have problems with the story subject, but in any case, this is sure to create buzz both because of it being a great movie, but also because of the topic. You’ll have to make it your own call if you want to see this one.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bring It On

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Bring It On
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Jesse Bradford
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Lots of sexual innuendo – see quotes below.
Date Movie: She’ll probably just think you’re a pervert if you suggest it.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk but nothing on screen.
Gratuitous Violence: A broken leg and bloody nose, but it just goes along with the job.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few if you’re older and understand them.
Memorable Scene: When the girls are holding cheerleader tryouts and one girl acts like a stripper, when the girls hire the choreographer, and the final competition.
Memorable Quote: So many, so little space, but here’s a few:
“You’re having cheer sex with him!”
“Guys want to touch my chest!”
“Is that your band or something” as Torrance checks out Cliff’s t-shirt with “The Clash” on it (boy I felt old).
“You speak fag.”
“If you stop eating, maybe your body will eat your ass.”
Directed By: Peyton Reed

Well I’m thinking the ratings board made a mistake in creating the PG-13 rating. Why? Because it has opened up an entirely new group of movies that would probably be rated R except the filmmakers got rid of the blatant nudity and eliminated the sex. The latest movie in this group is “Bring It On.”

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun, spirited movie, totally targeted at the teen group, but I’m thinking the younger teens are going to be excited to see this movie rather than the older teens, and for the youngins I just think it’s too adult. Maybe I’m just beginning to become an old fart, but if you’re giving me a movie with cheerleaders running around in their underwear and spouting tons of sexual innuendos, please make it about college cheerleaders, let them be naked, and go all out.

The story kinda plays out like this: Kristen Dunst plays Torrance who has just been elected as Captain of the cheerleading squad. Their squad is the best, has been for years, but the problem is that they have been stealing the cheers of a different school, an inner-city school. Well, for once, the other school is headed to the competition, Torrence finds out about the stolen cheers before the competition, hires a choreographer to draft a new cheer, only to be humiliated at regional’s when another school does their cheer routine first. All is not lost, however, because they still have three weeks until nationals (they get invited back no matter how much they suck because they are the previous champions), and Torrance finds it in her soul to rally the cheerleaders to come up with something brand new. And, oh yea, you also get a “he went off to college and I still love him but there’s this new kid at school who I’m digging” story line, the affluent versus the inner-city school story line, the “is it better to win or not be cheaters” story line, and the “are guy cheerleaders gay?” story line.

So many story lines, so little time, and all the while they might have had the high-schoolers having sex because they sure insinuated it enough.

It was a cheesy movie about competition and motivation (hell, I almost felt like cheering during the final competitions), but still enjoyable. The movie, though, could have had such a more wholesome appeal without all of the sexual innuendos. I’m not saying that I didn’t laugh at them, hell, I found them rather funny, but I’m just wondering if the 12 year olds were hopping in the car as mom would drive them home and ask “What’s cheer sex?” in response to Torrance’s friends egging her “You’re having cheer sex with him!” Maybe they have to learn sometime.

So I see “Bring It On” as this: They should have cleaned it up and made it about competition and motivation rather than sex; or – gone balls out, made them college cheerleaders, and made the movie into a quality skin-flick to be shown on late night cable. It’s too bad sometimes that PG-13 let’s Hollywood tread that line. Maybe they need a PG-16 rating?

The competition scenes were great, the love story was nice, the bickering of high-schoolers was right on, and the poking at cheerleaders was cute at times. It’s too bad I felt a little dirty after seeing it. It’s 2 ½ stars out of 5, but I’d rate it at least PG-16.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Bourne Ultimatum

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:55 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Bourne Ultimatum
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Stratham, Joan Allen
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: Leave them at home, this is for teens and above.
Date Movie: If she liked “The Bourne Supremacy” she’ll love this one.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of fighting but we usually don’t see people die.
Action: From start to finish.
Laughs: Some good chuckles.
Memorable Scene: I loved Jason Bourne leading Simon Ross through the train station.
Memorable Quote: Agent: “He drove off the roof!”
Noah: “What?”
Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Here’s some helpful advice if you are a nosey newspaper dude, have people trying to kill/kidnap you, and the only person helping to keep you alive is a rogue government agent who just beat the crap out of two of the goons – Do exactly what the agent says, do not deviate, do not think you know more than the agent, and do not open a door unless you are told to do so. Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) tried to help the dude, but sadly the newspaper dude thought he could run for safety. What a bonehead!

Anyway, Jason Bourne is back, still trying to find who made him like he is, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a movie as action-packed as “The Bourne Ultimatum” is, ever. The CIA, meanwhile, is still trying to find him, and as in “The Bourne Supremacy,” there are those in the government who need him dead, especially to hide some dirty, little secrets.

It seems in this installment there is a CIA dude, Neil Daniels (Colin Stinton), who doesn’t like the government program “Blackbriar,” which was born out of the “Treadstone” era, and has been leaking some information to a British reporter, Simon Ross (Paddy Considine). Now, because the government is monitoring all of our phone calls, all around the world, for key words, when Simon utters “Blackbriar” on his cell phone little does he realize the degree of spy-dom that he is about to unleash. Within moments phones are tapped, he is being trailed, and now that Jason Bourne has read Simon’s latest installment about himself, Jason enters Simon’s life, trying to save the dude so he can find out about “Blackbriar” and thus, where he came from.

And so “The Bourne Ultimatum” begins traversing the European countryside as Jason looks for Neil, he finds Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles, whom I still have a crush on) in Madrid, the both of them head to Tangier where Neil supposedly is hiding out (and he’s an idiot), an “asset,” a.k.a. assassin, is dispatched to kill Neil, Nicky, and Jason, but Jason will have none of that, well at least not all of that, and in the meantime, back in the states, Noah (David Strathairn), leading the CIA folks in New York City, is pissing the hell out of Pamela Landy (Joan Allen back for more fun) as he crosses a line in the aspects of killing people.

Jason, of course, because we know from the movie trailer, makes his way back to NYC, finds a “friend” in Pam, leads Noah and his people on a couple of wild goose chases, and finally finds out how he became the killing machine he has become.

In following in the tradition of “The Bourne” movie franchise this third installment will give you just about everything you are looking for, and expect, following “The Bourne Supremacy.” You have the sneaky government, with even more internal sneakiness by those thinking they have ultimate power; you have scary technology that can track you anywhere in the world; you have “assets” who lack the skills of the ultimate “asset”; you have car chases that are utterly fantastic and over-the-top; you have action and suspense from start to finish; you get a chuckle or two from some fantastically placed dialogue; and you have Jason Bourne, in ultimate Bourne-ness.

I loved this movie even more so than the “Supremacy” flick. Sure, things were a little over-the-top at times, but the inventiveness (like how Bourne gets into Noah’s safe) eclipsed the previous two, and I liked that Julia Stiles had a larger role in this installment, especially since I’m a stalker of hers.

You will get exactly what you expect in this movie, and then some, because there really isn’t a dull spot from start to finish. The movie starts with Bourne on the run; the movie ends with another movie able to be made if the film folks so choose. Just keep Paul Greengrass directing, keep the writing as we have come to love it, and this franchise can probably continue for a long while.

A great thriller. I’m giving “The Bourne Ultimatum” 5 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Bourne Identity

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:59 Long
A Preview by:
The Dude on the Right

The Bourne Identity
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Gabriel Mann, Julia Stiles
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie:
Date Movie:
Gratuitous Sex:
Gratuitous Violence:
Action:
Laughs:
Memorable Scene:
Memorable Quote:
Directed By: Doug Liman

Matt Damon plays Jason Bourne. He wakes up one day nearly dead and not remembering who he is. He also wonders why people are trying to kill him and how he has these great abilities to shoot, hide, disappear, and fight. Bourne has a few clues as to his identity, but not much to go on, he hooks up with a dudette, and runs around Paris wishing he could remember who he really is.

The movie is based on a book by Robert Ludlum, and the trailer looks to be action-packed, but there is some initial word that the movie isn’t that good. I’ll see it anyway, and I’m sure guys won’t have a problem getting to see this movie because the dudettes will come along to see Matt Damon.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
—-
Preview update….
I’m sick of this trailer. They seem to attach it before most any movie and I can’t wait for this movie to come out. Not because I think it will be good, my usual inkling is that if they overkill a trailer the movie is going to suck. I’m hoping for more, but right now this movie is looking bad. I just want the trailers to stop.

That’s it for this update! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

No iPad 2 Camping Trip, “127 Hours” of Goodness, Richard Hatch Should be Fired, and Yay Poles!

By: The Dude on the Right

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Stu Gotz isn’t going to camp out for a new iPad 2 when they go on sale this Friday, but during this episode of our “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast I find out that we both agree we should have seen “127 Hours” on the big screen instead of at home.  Yup, we both liked “127 Hours,” and Stu also gives a good recommendation for “Love and Other Drugs,” while I tell Stu if he should take Mama Gotz to see “The Adjustment Bureau” (he should).

We are both celebrating Casimir Pulaski Day here in Illinois, and are eagerly awaiting our next special day, namely Fat Tuesday. In the meantime I’m also telling Stu that he better get his TiVo set properly to record “Celebrity Apprentice” because this season looks like a winner, even if David Cassidy got booted in the last episode. I am also loving “Survivor: Redemtion Island,” don’t like Randy trying to be Simon on “American Idol,” and if the producers of “The Amazing Race” want TV gold, they should have Stu and Mama Gotz as contestants.

All of that, Japanese soda, and more!

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this podcast! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Blair Witch Project

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:20 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Blair Witch Project
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, Joshua Leonard
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Artisan Entertainment
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: No way.
Date Movie: She might get scared, or just wonder what the fuss is about.
Gratuitous Sex: I might have liked the movie more had Heather gotten naked.
Gratuitous Violence: Implied.
Action: Lots of running through the woods.
Laughs: Mostly at just how stupid our three characters are.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Daniel Myrich, Eduardo Sanchez

As I came out of “The Blair Witch Project” the first thought that came to my head was that these three kids deserved to die. I’m going to give some spoilers, but you know what, I don’t care. Things bugged me a lot about this movie. Things like where is this magical river that goes in a circle, at least that must be the case because our weary travelers, once lost, decided to follow a river and ended up where they started. Also, who taught these people how to read a compass? Let’s see, it points north, and if we keep walking east, well, we end up going, well, seemingly not east. There are countless other things that bugged me, but in the end what bugged me the most was that this movie isn’t as scary as everyone says, at least not to me. Just different.

“The Blair Witch Project” tells the fictional documentary of two dudes and a chick who got lost in the woods and only their film footage was found. It takes us through their interviewing people about the mythical Blair Witch and then through their scary adventures in the woods where none of these city folk should ever go. They get lost, throw away the map, can’t read a compass, follow the circular river, run through the woods at night without running into a tree, and the end of the footage shows a dude facing the corner in the basement (just like the legend says – a lot of people leaving the theater seemed to miss this part of the movie, confused why the dude was standing in the corner), screams ensue, and the camera falls to the ground. And as one dude sitting next to me said “That’s it?” That was it.

I can see why so many critics love this movie. It is different and had the pre-publicity as being totally scary and inventive, especially for the $60,000, no wait, $40,000, no wait, $10,000, no wait, $80,000, no wait, who the hell really knows how much it cost to make this film. But the scariest movie ever? I don’t think so. For me it was just different.

I’ll give the publicity machine credit for this movie because once some words got out, well, everyone had to see it. I don’t know who was giving this movie the buzz it got, but it sure didn’t seem to be the likes of the people leaving the theater I was at.

Different. Yeah. Scary. No. And Trash thinks it was the chick who killed the boys. Here comes the sequel.

With that I give “The Blair Witch Project” 1 ½ stars out of 5. I just didn’t find it that good.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bambi

Here’s a bit from The Dude on the Right’s Blu-ray review of “Bambi”

… So, as a movie I have to say that I didn’t cry, I almost found “Bambi” kind of boring when I was just watching it solo, but when I was playing around with the extra features on the Blu-ray, especially the “Story Meeting” and Second Screen, I was getting sucked right back into it. With that, when I just saw the movie I was almost hesitant to write a review because it was starting to be a simple “I give ‘Bambi’ 2 stars,” even if it is still unbelievable to me the animation detail of a movie from back in the 1940’s, as my wife pointed out the scenes with reflections in the water, but with the extra features, wow, it’s 4 ½ stars out of 5 for the “Bambi” Diamond Edition. I almost dismissed the extras as basic extras, but I’m glad I played around with them because they brought a little more magic to a movie that well, seems a little dated. …

Bambi

MPAA Rated – G
It’s 1:10 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Bambi
Blu-ray Diamond Edition
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Bambi, Thumper, Flower, and all of Bambi’s friends.
MPAA Rated: G
Released By: Walt Disney Studios
Release Date: March 1, 2011
Kiddie Movie: It’s for the youngin’s.
Date Movie: If you’re watching it as a family, or she’s a Disney fanatic.
Gratuitous Sex: Um, no.
Gratuitous Violence: There is some peril, but nothing gratuitous.
Action: Some chasing and running around.
Laughs: Cute for the kids.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Cool things about the Blu-ray: There is some basic stuff, some deleted scene stuff, and some games for the kids, but for total coolness bust out your iPad or computer and sync things up using the Second Screen feature. It will take “Bambi” from a dated 1940’s animated movie into the 2010’s.

I don’t remember ever seeing “Bambi” when I was a youngin’. I don’t think it’s because I had bad parents, because I vaguely remember seeing Pinocchio, but I think it was more because when I was growing up, before the time of video, Disney would stagger re-releases into the theater, and I was 8 years old by the time it came out again in 1975. With that, it was with some anticipation as I plopped myself on the couch to watch “Bambi,” and yes, this movie probably isn’t geared for me, and yes, it wasn’t even exciting for my wife, but I can see its place in movie history, and as a parent, you’re going to have to be the one to judge because, as kids seem to get older quicker, I’m thinking “Bambi” is almost skewing itself to the 3 to 4 year olds, although, with the interactive Disney Second Screen feature, your 5 year old with their iPad might enjoy learning a whole boat-load of stuff about Disney animation.

I guess I’ll start with the story before I get to what might be the most feature-packed Blu-ray I’ve ever seen.

The story is simple: It’s the story of a young deer, Bambi, and the intrusion of man on nature. The movie opens with introductory scenes of the animal “friends” Bambi will have growing up, and then, there’s Bambi, a newborn, with his mom. At first Bambi is an unsure little deer, hanging with his friends, but then as winter comes to pass, and the friends in the forest grow up, wouldn’t you know it but love enters the picture, too. In the meantime man is intruding more and more on the forest and momma deer has to warn Bambi of the dangers out there, and in deer nation, the elder statesman is there to help the group.

And so, yup, there is peril as momma deer takes a bullet, man sets the forest on fire, and Bambi learns he is much more than just a timid little deer – that he might be destined for greatness.

The thing is, as entertaining as this story sort of sounds, in this day and age of multitasking and mind-overload, I found the movie a tad boring, even through the music movements, although I know, from being little once, that there was a time in movie-land that things like an orchestra building to a crescendo can create excitement, but I don’t think it works so well today, at least it didn’t here, or at least for me.

And this is where the Disney folks are seeing that interactivity might be the way to go with the youngin’s of today because, as a movie, I’m thinking the kids might be bored with a straight sitting of “Bambi,” but with a computer to play along with, even I almost got trapped into watching the movie a couple of times.

First off, the Blu-ray Diamond Edition includes some nice little extras like a missing scene, some extra music, and looks kick-butt between the Blu-ray and a decent widescreen TV, but the package add-ons don’t stop there. Nope, for just Blu-ray goodness, there is a fantastic “Inside Walt’s Story Meeting” feature that, rather than just a boring commentary track, shifts things around with video, taking you through the entire process of how a movie like Bambi goes from concept to the final story. There is also some game-play for the kids, though from my experience the Blu-ray games never play as well as the computer version, but they are there for you to play with your kids.

The winner though, for this Blu-ray package, is the Disney Second Screen feature. Now I did have a little bit of an issue syncing it with my laptop, but I’m guessing if you have an iPad it is probably pretty easy to do. Pretty much, what happens, is as the movie plays on your TV, on your computer or iPad, there is an interactiveness that plays along exactly with the movie. You get extra art-work, tile games, bonus information about the scene, and loads of things that, for the kids of the 2010’s, will probably get them through a lovely orchestral maneuver and into the next scene. It was really kind of fascinating, and for the older movies like a Bambi, will probably be the wave of the future to keep them fresh.

So, as a movie I have to say that I didn’t cry, I almost found “Bambi” kind of boring when I was just watching it solo, but when I was playing around with the extra features on the Blu-ray, especially the “Story Meeting” and Second Screen, I was getting sucked right back into it. With that, when I just saw the movie I was almost hesitant to write a review because it was starting to be a simple “I give ‘Bambi’ 2 stars,” even if it is still unbelievable to me the animation detail of a movie from back in the 1940’s, as my wife pointed out the scenes with reflections in the water, but with the extra features, wow, it’s 4 ½ stars out of 5 for the “Bambi” Diamond Edition. I almost dismissed the extras as basic extras, but I’m glad I played around with them because they brought a little more magic to a movie that well, seems a little dated.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Academy Award Talk, Bambi, A Nice Nap, and The Space Shuttle Discovery Takes Off!

By: The Dude on the Right

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Stu Gotz finally got the family to Florida to see Space Shuttle Discovery take off, and during this “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast, he gives some space shuttle facts for all to enjoy. What I didn’t enjoy, Stu found acceptable, and Mama Gotz found that it was more fun to watch “Minute to Win It” instead, was The Oscars, and as the various Academy Awards were given out, I tell Stu that the Twitterverse was much more exciting and funny than the actual broadcast.

On the movie front, while not my official review of “Bambi” which is out on Blu-ray on March 1st, we discuss “Bambi” and how it reflects how times have changed and how kids are probably growing up faster than us old-farts did. We also discuss, a bit, how movie-making has changed, with Stu bringing up the “True Grit” remake versus the original John Wayne version, and how he was happy “Megamind” was out on video.

I took a nap, my BFF made tuna noodle casserole, I’m sick of the crappy weather, but we don’t talk about Charlie Sheen, which seems oddly weird for us.

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this podcast! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!