Andy Labis, Author at Entertainment Ave!

I Became a Person Who Came to Downtown Chicago to…

By:

The Dude on the Right
I put a little post on Facebook: I’m doing something I said I would never do only I can’t say exactly what it is until Monday. How’s that for a tease?

Hundreds, okay just a few of my friends, tried to figure out the mystery, and the guesses ranged from hitting a nudie-bar (I have been to one of those before, so that couldn’t be it), to a spa treatment complete with a pedicure. I will say that all of the guesses were wrong, although from my fiance’s descriptions of her pedicure experiences, well, that may not be ruled out in the future, but in any case, what I did astounded me.

You see, for years, living in Chicago and visiting downtown quite often, there is a tradition I witnessed yet couldn’t understand. The people would be there, in the freezing cold, in a line that sometimes would stretch down the street and around the corner, and you would think it was either the day after Thanksgiving and they were waiting for the season’s hottest gift, or that some store was giving away a hundred dollars just for standing in line. With my friends I would mock these people, laugh at them as they were bundled in their parkas, shivering, yet with shear anticipation on their faces, and in an orderly fashion they would file, one by one, into the little storefront that housed a treasure people far and wide would stand for hours, or at least a bunch of minutes, to secure. The years would go by and I would wonder, "Is it really that good?", and prior to this weekend I had already found out and well, it is good, but "stand-in-line" good? It didn’t matter, I suppose, because there I was, standing in line, in the freezing cold, to get a bag of Garrett’s Popcorn.

Yup, hours of my weekend downtown, okay, maybe about 20 minutes, were spent, in a line, waiting for a bag of popcorn (okay, actually two bags of popcorn), something I made fun of for years, something I told myself I would never do, yet as I witnessed a group of girls try to cut in line, as I saw two women become nearly orgasmic as they sampled a little cup of fresh Chicago Mix, and as a tourist, in the freezing cold, wearing sandals, jumped for joy as he walked over a sidewalk grate venting warm air, I patiently waited, moving ahead one person by one person, with my order in my head: "One large bag and one medium bag of Chicago Mix please." I would then pay the man, step to the side, and hope not to screw up the process and have someone yell "No popcorn for you!", yet this wasn’t like a Seinfeld episode because people ahead of me kept changing their minds, and the people behind the counter were patient through every person. There were the newbies, still staring at the menu unsure of what they wanted when it was finally time to order, and then there were the experienced folks, rattling off their popcorn tin requests like they were trading stock, and there I was, bewildered in myself that somehow I was actually the person who suggested this gift for my future in-laws, and if it weren’t for my fiance, I would have forgotten to get a bag for us.

And so I have become a statistic in this world of Chicago, someone I would question if it was really worth it, someone I would mock, someone I always thought must have better things to do when visiting Chicago.

I became a person who came to downtown Chicago to stand in line to buy popcorn.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

A Tiger, A Reunion, A Bed, A Toilet Paper Holder, and Getting Old(er).

The Dude on the Right and Stu Gotz got together for a fraternity reunion weekend, so their “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast deals with a lot of that. They also discuss beds, getting older, and improperly designed placement of toilet paper holders before getting to other fun stuff, like new shows on Hulu (21 Jumpstreet, The Commish, and The Greatest American Hero.) Neither of them have yet to see “The Blind Side,” Stu saw the “Monk” finale but tried not to ruin it for The Dude, and sure, this week there is some Tiger Woods talk as the boys jump on the “Bash Tiger” bandwagon.

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! A Tiger, A Reunion, A Bed, A Toilet Paper Holder, and Getting Old(er).

By:

The Dude on the Right
It was college fraternity reunion weekend for Stu Gotz and I, so during our “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast there is ample talk about friends who get together, year after year, for over 20 years. We talk about the nice dinner at “Cyrano’s Bistro and Wine Bar” in Chicago, about the difference between dudes getting together and dudettes getting together, about getting older, about bed sizes, and about improperly designed toilet paper holders at the Dana Hotel & Spa.

Now, as much as we talk about friends getting together, it’s also a weekend, and Stu saw the “Monk” finale while I did not. Stu doesn’t really ruin the episode but does clue me in to see if I find some creepiness when I decide to watch it, and even though everyone else seems to be going to see “The Blind Side,” somehow we, two movie-seeing dudes, have yet to catch the film.

Yes, we do talk a bit about the Tiger Woods goings on, or at least a funny Jimmy Kimmel bit, and finally, Hulu has some shows for you to watch, shows that you might remember if you are old, like us, namely “21 Jumpstreet,” “The Commish,” and “The Greatest American Hero.”

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the
Right!! L8R!!!

Download and Listen

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I Think I’m Done with Playboy

By:

The Dude on the Right
Playboy sent me my renewal notice, and I hate to say it, but "Playboy, it might be time to leave you." I can hear my buddy, Stu Gotz, bashing me already, he will say that my fiance wants me to get rid of it and that I am caving into her will, but the fact of the matter is that Playboy just isn’t that interesting of a magazine anymore. Sure, it’s got naked women, and yes, they are pretty, but lately too many of the women are covering up so for that aspect it’s kind of like "What’s the point?", and I hate to say it, but I haven’t even been finding myself reading it for the articles that much anymore, because, well, the articles haven’t been all that enlightening, engaging, or groundbreaking. Also, as my budget is tighter than it used to be, what with a wedding to plan and all, I’m looking at the yearly renewal rate they are offering me and I’ve got to say that my $32.97 might be better spent elsewhere.

So I tried to analyze what I was getting for my $32.97, and I used their list of "benefits" I get as a guide. If I renew before December 17th I get the following:

Renewal discounted for another year at their absolute lowest price: $32.97

Okay, this is nice, but I do wonder if it is their "absolute" lowest price, and if someone else out there is getting a better deal.

Preferred Subscriber Savings of 52% off the cover price: 52%

Kind of a redundant with the renewal discount they described in the first benefit, but I guess it’s just to reinforce the fact that if I went to the newsstand every month it would cost me $68.89, but then again, one month is a double issue (nice cost-cutting measure for them, huh?).

Special Bonus: One-Time-Only-DVD – Playboy’s "Uncensored Home Videos" with your paid renewal FREE

Come on Playboy, aren’t we up to the Blu-ray generation yet? And really, I do read Playboy mostly for the articles, and Stu tells me there are much better "Uncensored Home Videos" out there on this thing called the internet.

Special Annual Issues: Playmate of the Year, Holiday Anniversay Issue, MLB, NBA, NFL Previews, Sex in the Cinema, Gala Christmas Issue: Included

Umm, are these really special? Haven’t you been doing these for years and aren’t these more "expected" than "special?"

Convenient home delivery: Included

Okay, that’s nice, and it is pretty convenient. I’m glad they aren’t thinking of billing me extra to deliver it at home.

Money-Back Guarantee: Included

If I’m not completely satisfied with my subscription I can cancel at any time and receive a full refund on all unmailed issues. What I would rather have, I think, is if I could maybe go online every month and say something like "I only liked 50% of this issue, can I get a credit on my account for the part that sucked, but keep sending me the magazine because I did like the 50%".

The crappy part, and maybe crappy is the appropriate word, is I used to be able to gauge how engaging an issue of Playboy was because, well, I admit that most of the time I would find myself reading it on the crapper while taking my daily constitutional, and if it was a good month of stuff, well, I would find that before I was done reading everything in said month there, thanks to the Convenient Home Delivery, would come the next month’s issue having me cramming in some final reading, or spending a few extra minutes on the Mighty Ferguson. Lately, though, I’m finding that I’m pretty much done with the issue well before the next issue arrives, leaving me time to just sit and ponder rather than shit and wonder.

My problem now is what to replace the magazine with. See, I already subscribe to Rolling Stone, Maxim, and somehow I get this Small Business Magazine, and they all pretty much keep me in tune with things in the entertainment world and high finance, although I do like a decent interview, and that’s what Playboy used to really give me. While listening to the radio I was thinking GQ might be a nice replacement because I heard there was a great article with Clint Eastwood recently, but really, me and GQ?

So, I’ve got around $33.00 to spend, maybe on a magazine subscription, but then again, it would pay for like 1/5thish of a person at our wedding. Any suggestions would be well appreciated.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Surviving Thanksgiving, Macy’s is Slipping, Biaggi’s Has a Good Salad, and No Tiger Woods.

Even though he is being talked about everywhere, Stu Gotz and The Dude on the Right decide not to talk about Tiger Woods during their "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast, but probably only because there was too much more to talk about thanks to the Thanksgiving weekend. Stu saw a parade and ratty balloons while The Dude introduced some of his family to his future family; The Dude didn’t like "Old Dogs" that much but Stu and The Dude’s sister did; There was talk of a really good salad at a dinner at Biaggi’s; The boys talk bowling; The boys talk driving; And the boys talk some crappy football thanks again to the Chicago Bears. They talk a lot, they survived Thanksgiving, and Stu gives advice on how to keep a bear out of your yard.

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Surviving Thanksgiving, Macy’s is Slipping, Biaggi’s Has a Good Salad, and No Tiger Woods.

By:

The Dude on the Right
Everyone else is talking about Tiger Woods and what may or may not have happened when he crashed his SUV over the weekend, but you won’t hear me or Stu Gotz talking about it during our "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast because we are waiting until the entire story comes out rather than throw wild speculation out there which could only get us in trouble. Instead we talk about our Thanksgiving weekend festivities, where Stu saw a parade and
wonders how many little kids know who Paddington Bear is, thinks that New York City gets the cool balloons, and also thinks Macy’s is getting lazy with their dingy displays, and I think shopping at Macy’s is just sucking. Over the weekend I introduced my sister and her family to my BFF’s family so I tell Stu if there were any fireworks, and also, over the weekend, my sister impressed on us the fact that the salad at Biaggi’s is "the best!"

I do have a fear that Stu is becoming my sister because he liked "Old Dogs," whereas I couldn’t wait for it to end, we are both sad that "Monk" is coming to a close, I think I am now a Minnesota Vikings fan, and I drove almost to St. Louis and back and I’m still trying to figure out why.

We talk TV, we talk movies, Stu talks a joke, and we talk Thanksgiving. We don’t talk about Tiger, or even tigers for that matter, but there is talk about an Underdog.

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the
Right!! L8R!!!

Download and Listen

Subscribe Here

Black Friday Shopping Advice, The Winner of Dancing With the Stars, Movies and Monk!

Black Friday is coming and during their "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast, Stu Gotz and The Dude on the Right give their shopping advice, tell you where the great deals aren’t, and only one of them might be up at 5am on Friday. Neither of them aren’t watching "Dancing With the Stars," although they do give their analysis of the winner, or at least who of Donny Osmond, Mya, or Kelly Osbourne should win, and Stu almost saw dancing at the circus. The boys talk Facebook picture posting, good deed doing, and even though they didn’t venture out to the movies, Stu did see "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang," so the kid in both of them sort of comes out. Finally, they’ll both miss "Monk" when it comes to a close, Oprah is leaving over a year from now, and the Chicago Bears still suck. Such is another podcast as Thanksgiving is upon them!

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Black Friday Shopping Advice, The Winner of Dancing With the Stars, Movies and Monk!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Even though Stu Gotz and I got delayed and our "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast is on Tuesday, there is still no denying that the Chicago Bears still suck. Football sucking aside, I’m wondering if the winner of "Dancing With the Stars" will be Donny Osmond, Mya, or Kelly Osbourne, and we give our expert analysis even though neither of us has seen the show this year. Stu sort of saw dancing when he went to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus, and I let Stu know that it’s not looking like there will be any dancing when the series finale of "Monk" comes around.

We both do some Black Friday analysis with Stu not recommending a notebook computer that is going on sale and me thinking about a cheap Blu-ray player, although not cheap enough for me to be at a Wal-Mart at 5AM on a Friday morning. Stu does have a Black Friday shopping secret that he tells during the podcast, but I’m sure I’ll forget about it by Wednesday.

And finally, along with Black Friday shopping advice we also give some Facebook picture posting advice (namely don’t post any pictures of you having fun if you are clinically depressed), that no good deed goes, well, sometimes you’ve still got to get paid, and who doesn’t love "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?"

Thanks for listening, and Happy Thanksgiving!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the
Right!! L8R!!!

Download and Listen

Subscribe Here

The Kevin Smith Collection: Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

"Clerks" and "Chasing Amy" have now made it to Blu-ray, but during his review of "The Kevin Smith Collection: Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back," The Dude on the Right is still wondering why there is a documentary about the making of "Jay and Silent Bob" on the "Clerks" disc. Yes, he listened to Kevin Smith explain why, but The Dude has his own thoughts on the box set, and thinks maybe it is time for a full-blown Kevin Smith set. In the end The Dude thought the "Chasing Amy" disc is the best value for your money, but hey, you have a Blu-ray player so you might as well watch something in black and white on it and "Clerks" is hilarious no matter on what screen.

Black Friday is Coming, Do You Know Where Your Pumpkin Pie Is?

By:

The Dude on the Right
With Thanksgiving about a week away, what better way to start to think about the things to be thankful for than pondering what you are going to buy on the Friday after Thanksgiving, that is if you are early enough to be first in line at your favorite store. Yup, the Black Friday 2009 ads are starting to leak, you can find the Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Target, and heck, even Office Depot ads online if you so desire (good luck finding Office Max, though, because it seems they are being diligent in requesting it be removed from sites trying to show them), but I’m starting to wonder why we even celebrate Thanksgiving Day anymore, other than the fact the turkey farmers would probably throw a fit, that and it is the day before Black Friday. Really, does anyone care that much about it? Sure, it’s a reason for families to get together, and sure, it’s non-denominational so you’re not going to piss off various religious groups by having the day off, but doesn’t it seem like the holiday is just getting pushed to the side? The stories are hitting that at Best Buy you can get this TV for this much, at Wal-Mart a slightly different model is the same price, at Target they may not have a good computer, but who cares, join the crowds and just be careful not to get trampled. Yup, we can expect that on Thanksgiving night there will be the proverbial news story showing the imbecile who is first-in-line to get that flat screen TV that will eventually be on sale for a better price if they could just hold out until right before the Super Bowl, and by the time the Friday morning news hits, the lead story will then be about the people who caused a stampede and killed someone to get the same TV. Some people will skip some quality family arguments so that they can camp out in the cold and snow to get a laptop for under $500, while others will be doing recon on Wednesday to plot the most efficient route to get as many bargains before 5:30 AM on Friday.

Okay, I’m done being grumpy, because the more I think about it, I am actually looking forward to this Thanksgiving, even if most of the stories will be about anything but why we are celebrating Thanksgiving. As long as the weather holds out I’ll get to see some family members I haven’t seen in a while, it will be the second Thanksgiving I’m spending with my BFF which means more to me than I can ever explain to her, and if all goes well I might end the day a few bucks ahead if the dice roll my way during a probable game of Left-Right-Center. I will give thanks for what I have, I’ll say a quiet prayer for people no longer with me, and will even have a good wish in my heart for those who have hurt me. I’ll eat too much, hope Milo lets me sleep a little later, but come to think of it, I was thinking of getting another Blu-ray player and Wal-Mart supposedly will have one for under $100. So, you know what, I’m starting to think that maybe I’ll skip Thanksgiving dinner, dig out my winter coat and some blankets, pull the feet warmers out of the drawer, and camp out with the rest of the nutballs. Nah. That would just be nuts, and I won’t get any pumpkin pie. Mmm, pumpkin pie.

Ah, Thanksgiving!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!