Author: Andy Labis

Have you postponed a project to start it on the first of the month?

Have you purposely postponed a project to start it on the first of the month?

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It’s the first day of March. It’s also the first day of meteorological Spring. It’s also the first post I’ve done in over four months. I’ve been toying with when to restart Entertainment Ave! after a hiatus, and the end of winter, especially this winter, seems like a good time to give it a shot.

And so, as I’ve done many times before, I’m starting a project on the first of a month. I’ve started many a weight-loss goal on the first of a month. I’ve started many a budget on the first of a month. So, why not an Entertainment Ave! restart on the first of a month?

This will be, as they say, a work in progress. Some of you who have been here before will probably notice a new layout, one that I’ll be tweaking as things continue. Also, the Daily Plight is now called “Andy Wonders,” as I’ve decided to drop the “Dude on the Right” moniker, and I’ll be honest, right now I’m not sure if it will be a daily feature or not.

Reviews will start back up in a bit, I’m still going to try to update all of the archives of reviews, but one project almost complete is getting my archive of concert photos on Flickr. You can find them at Flickr on in my concert series.

And so, here it is, Spring. And here it is, my first wonder, “Have you postponed a project to start it on the first of a month?”

That’s it for this one! I’m Andy!! L8R!!!

 

Thanksgiving – Time for a Break or To Move On?

It’s Thanksgiving time as I’m writing this, and I have a lot to be thankful for, and as much as a time it is for giving thanks, it’s also a time for reflecting for me, especially about this place, Entertainment Ave!, which has been a part of my life in one form or another since about 1988, some 25 years ago.

This odyssey began as a little article in a college newspaper, Technology News, with my buddy and me looking to make some extra beer money. It was there that The Unknown Reviewers were born (Here’s a link to one of our first articles, found on Page 3), with me, The Dude on the Right, and him, The Dude on the Left, with bags on our heads and a PC with a hard drive topping out at 40Meg I think (Yup, you could fit a whopping 10 songs if they actually had digital downloads back then, but I digress), where we would wake up on a Friday morning with foggy heads and write about bands visiting our college bar the night before. As college years moved on some of the personas may have changed, but the bags remained the same, and The Dudes carried on.

Re-taking the reigns of The Unknown Reviewers in my never-ending college days, after being in an advisory role for a while, eventually The Dudes became digital, posting our reviews on our college website, and then, back in 1996, after finally ending college fun and pretending to grow up, Entertainment Ave! was born, with cheesy graphics, a cast of characters who mostly just wanted to have a goofy character, and the concert reviews grew from college bands to national acts, movie reviews were added, and through the years we’ve had an advice column, dabbled in animated movie reviews, held weekly podcasts, personal blogs, Daily Plights, and just some general commentary about the world.

I’ve always had big dreams for Entertainment Ave!, and although a lame excuse in the world of entrepreneurship, I generally let my day job and sometimes life in general, get in the way of trying to take this place to the next level, and over the past few months, with some other major changes taking place in my life, I’ve begun to wonder if this part of my life has also run its course. For over two years now I’ve been trying to get all of the pages updated to the newer format, a task I didn’t realize was so huge until I realized that, through the years, I’ve amassed over 750 various reviews and articles, and converting them has proven a much more daunting task then originally thought. I’ve also had a goal to get all of my concert photos updated to go along with the concert reviews, as well as get them posted for all of the world to see on my flickr site, and although a little easier than the page conversion, I haven’t gotten to the individual editing of them, either. Ugh!

“So, Dude, what are you trying to say. I’m getting tired of reading. Get to the point, already!”

I guess what I’m trying to say is that for a while I’m going to be putting this part of my life, Entertainment Ave!, on hiatus, as I ponder its future. There might be a post every now and then, but for the most part I’m going to see if some kind of inspiration comes to re-envisioning the site, its goals, and if it can be a part of my life for the next 25 years. I might try to finish getting the old reviews converted, finish up with the concert photos, play around with some site re-designing, but as a one-man show, and a site this large, it’s been a tough task keeping up with the changes in technology, the changes in how people get their content (I never did get the Facebook nor Twitter connections fully integrated as I envisioned, nor the “Second Life” virtual site, and even though I’ve designed an iPhone app or two, this site has never gotten its own app much to my own disappointment). For the time being I’ll be leaving everything posted, because hey, someone might want to read about an AC/DC concert from 1991, or see if they should rent “Dude, Where’s My Car?”, but don’t count too much on finding out what I think about the latest Christmas movies, read about a bad film coming out on Blu-ray, or a plight about if Cher really did make the gayest video, ever, for her song “Take It Like a Man.”

If this does end up being my last post for this site, I would like to thank all of you for your support through the years, any comments you may have tossed my way, and the chance to share my entertainment world, and sometimes thoughts about life, with you. It’s been a lovely ride for over 25 years, and maybe its not over yet, but in any case it’s a time to re-assess, re-evaluate, and see if some reconditioning can bring a new chapter to the Entertainment Ave! life.

Maybe for the last time…

That’s it for this one! I’m Andrew Labis, I mean, The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Breaking the Girls

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:27 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Breaking the Girls
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Agnes Bruckner, Madeline Zima, Shawn Ashmore
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: November 19, 2013
Kiddie Movie: For the love of God, put them to bed.
Date Movie: For the love of God, put her to bed, also.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s some girl-on-girl, and girl-on-guy stuff, but it’s pretty lame.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s a murder-mystery movie, so there is some.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: The acting.
Memorable Scene: The bad, being drunk acting.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jamie Babbit

I really hate writing reviews that bash a movie, and will generally try to find something nice to say, but there are times a movie, in my book, is just bad. “Breaking the Girls” is that movie.

In terms of story we get Sara (Agnes Bruckner). She’s a law student struggling with some money and has to bartend to get by. There’s a weird love-connection between her and Eric (Shawn Ashmore), who’s girlfriend isn’t to thrilled by their gazes at each other. When Sara steals a few bucks at her job, and gets turned in by the girlfriend, her life implodes as she loses her job and gets kicked out of law school. Lucky for her she met Alex (Madeline Zima), who has a lot of money and is freaky. So, yup, Sara and Alex get it on, but not before Sara meets Nina, Alex’s mother-in-law who used to be her lover, and so, with both girls having sworn enemies (or do they?), they make a pact to kill each other’s enemies.

Of course, Alex being the nutty one, carries out the dastardly deed, and then Sara has second thoughts. And of course, of course, we find out Alex isn’t too happy about this, and so she starts to threaten Sara that she better stand up to her end of the bargain, or else. And of course, of course, of course, there is the supposedly interesting plot twist, where things are not as we see, as Eric, who of course, of course, of course, of course, has now firmly planted his relationship with Sara, but then does some investigating and finds out a few things.

Sadly the movie comes across as “I know, let’s have this weak story that has been done before, and mix it with some girl-on-girl action, which has also been done before, and it will be great!” movie. I mean, here’s Sara, the law student, working in a bar, and meets Alex, playing the worstly acted drunk person I have seen in years. Sara goes home with Alex, Alex breaks this crystal vase and Sara doesn’t really think anything of it, and then, I know, “Let’s go to a party!” Sure, it’s all part of Sara’s master plan, but the acting is so bad that I almost was laughing at everyone as the movie went along.

The guy in me wants to try to recommend this movie to other guys on the premise of “If you want some hot girl-on-girl action in a dorky murder-mystery, go ahead and buy/rent ‘Breaking the Girls,’” but sadly even the girl-on-girl action was kind of lame.

Bad acting, a not-really-exciting story, and even some lame girl-on-girl stuff does not make this dude a happy man. And so, I’m not even sure about the ½ star, but I’ll give “Breaking the Girls” ½ star out of 5, if only for the humor at how badly acted the scene of Alex being drunk was.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Vitality

MPAA Rated – Not rated.
It’s 0:55 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Vitality
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Hyla Cass, Mari Winsor, Dr. Tim Brown
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: Virgil Films
Release Date: October 29, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Maybe if you want them to be a health nut, or they might find the poop and pee talk funny.
Date Movie: If she is on a health kick.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s a documentary, but there is talk about sex in the bedroom.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I did laugh a lot during the fake commercial for “Suprato.”
Memorable Scene: Nothing really.
Memorable Quote: Nothing.
Directed By: Pedram Shojai

Let me say, right off the bat, that the fake commercial for “Suprato” during the documentary “Vitality” was hilarious. That said, “Vitality,” being a documentary about health, doesn’t break new ground, but does reiterate a lot of common-sense ideas most people forget, stressing that our health system is messed up because, in general, it fights the problem with drugs instead of creating lifestyle changes, and that leading a healthy, vitality-filled life begins, for these documentarians, with four key points: Exercise, Diet, Sleep, and Mindset.

As the documentary goes along it touches on each of the subjects, with the diet-side being focused on the too-much sugar debate, that we should eat more veggies and drink more water, and the fact that the problem with most meat is actually the fact that the animals aren’t getting fed healthy diets, thereby passing along their own unhealthiness to us. Exercise delves around the fact that we sit around too much and need to move more, and in regards to sleep, the advice that the bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex sounds great in theory, but I’m guessing for many a people, with flat-screen TV’s on the wall across from the bed, neither spouse will end up parting with their nightly entertainment nor morning news.

The mindset area of the documentary lets us know that we need to deal with stress a little better, where oddly enough my mom’s advice of “Counting to ten” is actually similar to their advice of stepping back from a situation and letting your mind calm down so you can deal with things in a more rational manner.

For the most part the documentary doesn’t get too preachy, except for maybe the “You should shop at a Farmer’s Market because the food is healthier” segment, and it doesn’t get into too much, for no better way to put it, possible weirdness, at least until there is talk of the body’s “invisible energy field,” which, sure, might sound hokey, but who really knows?

Will “Vitalty” help you become the healthiest of persons? Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt reminding us all that there aren’t too many keys to living a healthy, vitality-filled life. The documentary isn’t going to win any cinematography awards as it is, to put it bluntly, not shot well, but I suppose this one is more about trying to tell its message rather than looking good.

If you need a reminder about living a healthy life, “Vitality” isn’t bad, but for the most part it’s nothing new or groundbreaking. For me it’s a 2 star out of 5 film. It probably could have gone up ½ star with a better look, and maybe another ½ for adding a little more substance, but the beginning where they are just spouting tons of statistics that can always be manipulated to fit your needs turned me off a bit from the start. I guess I wanted a little more from the movie, and that let me down.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

Are You a Speakerphone Person?

Are you a speakerphone person?

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Let me come right out and say that I’m not a speakerphone kind of guy. I don’t like using them, I don’t like being on the receiving end where the other person is on a speakerphone, and I guess this may translate poorly into the future when video phone calls might end up being a norm (which will suck even worse). Sure, I know in the car we are all supposed to be hands-free, which is supposedly better for safety (don’t even get me started on this rant), and I do my best to use my car’s speakerphone, but in the end I always find the calls disjointed, they never seem to be that clear, and the other day, when I was in an office, someone in a cubicle was on a speakerphone and it was just annoying as the speakerphone person always seem to think they need to talk a little louder, thereby annoying those around them, while the person on the other end probably forgets they are on the other side of the speakerphone, thereby their side of the conversation is being broadcast to the rest of this dude’s office.

Me, I prefer the old handset to the ear kind of thing, although the old days were a little easier when you could cradle the handset between your ear and your shoulder thus giving you handsfree-ness that still sounded great. With phones so small and thin this process has become increasingly difficult until we evolve as a species with our heads at 90 degree angles, or the phones implanted into our ears, so until then I guess we have to live with a crooked neck, or the speakerphone.

Remember if you are on the other side of a speakerphone call that you don’t know who might be listening, and I plight: Are you a speakerphone person?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Grabbers

MPAA Rated – Not rate.
It’s 1:34 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Grabbers
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: November 12, 2013
Kiddie Movie: I think the young teen boys would find it funny, though there is some gratuitous, alien violence and drinking.
Date Movie: If she likes quirky, horror movies.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Just the alien octopus kind.
Action: There’s a lot of running and chasing.
Laughs: It’s got plenty.
Memorable Scene: Figuring out how drunk you need to be to kill the aliens.
Memorable Quote: “It’s always the quiet places where the weird shit happens.”
Directed By: Jon Wright

Watching “Grabbers,” in addition to being entertained, I have to say I was almost shocked because this wasn’t some cheaply made, looks like a fake “We’re going to get eaten by this giant octopus thing that is actually an alien” movie that you might find on the late-night horror channel. Nope, this movie had some decent effects with the monsters, and sure, some dorkiness was involved, but it was all in good fun!

The movie opens with a meteor through the night sky and something splashing into the sea off the coast of Ireland. We are immediately pulled into the sinister nature of the movie when a fisherman finds his buddy getting impaled and pulled into the sea, and then, as is the case with many an alien-horror-kinda-comedy movie, strange things become afoot in the small village, that of course, will be shut off from the rest of the world by a storm thereby leaving the locals to fight the alien invasion/monsters on their own.

Enter Lisa (Ruth Bradley). She’s the new police officer in the fishing village and is learning the ropes by the fun, usually drunk officer O’Shea (Richard Coyle). Not much happens in this town, but when a whale washes on shore looking like it went through a blender, a lobsterman catches what looks like an octopus that subsequently attacks him, and a quirky scientist realizes said “octopus” is really an alien, we know our little town is in peril. And, of course, with this being a horrorish film, there is no “I must send this out on the internet to show the world” moment. Nope, instead it’s our heroes beating the monster and trying to set it on fire.

Oddly enough our heroes discover the alien can travel on land if it’s raining (of course a giant storm is coming), and also the weakness of the aliens who normally survive on water and human blood, but oddly enough, are allergic to blood with a high enough alcohol content. Lucky for the human race the aliens started their journey in Ireland, where the stereotypical, Irish drunkards are plentiful, thereby not letting the aliens get a stranglehold on us, but to save the town, our officers do have to organize a party for the locals at the pub, which, of course, isn’t too difficult.

Look, “Grabbers” is exactly what it sets out to be, and is highly entertaining at it. It’s got some dorky moments (think decapitations by the aliens), it’s got drunk, Irish people, it’s got the goody-two-shoes girl who discovers alcohol, and it’s got a good time for those in search of a decent “alien octopus discovers it shouldn’t have landed in Ireland” horror movie kind of way. Is the movie “Oscar” gold? Of course not, but if you want some good, horror fun, that might give you a shock or two with a surprise impaling, “Grabbers” is a great find. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Grabbers,” being exactly what it is trying to be, and not being too low-budget looking to turn it into too many “Oh, come on!” moments.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dealin’ With Idiots

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:27 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dealin’ With Idiots
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jeff Garlin, Nia Vardalos, Bob Odenkirk, Gina Gershon, Timothy Olyphant, J.B. Smoove, Jami Gertz
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: November 12, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Lots of adult humor and some swearing. Put them to bed.
Date Movie: My wife liked the parts she didn’t sleep through.
Gratuitous Sex: Nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I chuckled and laughed from start to finish.
Memorable Scene: Hans running the bases.
Memorable Quote: She’s just a big bowl of “Dear God!”
Directed By: Jeff Garlin
Cool things about the DVD: Nothing.

During “Dealin’ With Idiots” there is a point in the movie when one of the characters is intrigued that Max (Jeff Garlin) will be making a documentary about their little league baseball team, even though Max’s intention is to make a comedy based on the various “characaters/parents” at his son’s events. The thing is, after watching the movie, it might as well have been a documentary instead of a comedy because sure, maybe the character antics are dialed up a notch or two, but if you have ever been to a little league game lately, or heard the stories, I’m guessing the difference between the “real” and the “comedy” isn’t much different.

Let’s get to the movie…

Max is a comedian. He’s kind of famous, or at least he says he is up there in the top twenty of comedians. He’s also having some father/son bonding by hanging with his son, Jack (Max Wright), at his little league games and practices. While in the stands, watching the various parents, he sees comedy gold in a movie based on the parents. With his new-found inspiration, Max decides he needs to do his research by interviewing the various parents, finding out what makes them tick so to speak, all the while reflecting in a series of “moments” with his own father, about raising a son and baseball.

Max begins his research, and we are taken deeper into the lives of the parents and the coaches, finding out things like Coach Ted (J.B. Smoove) lives quirkingly in a trailer park with his own odd groups of friends and their “book” club, that Coach Jimbo (Bob Odenkirk) runs a printing shop and doesn’t follow his own coaching advice, and Hezekiah (Steve Agee) decides to do research of his own in order to write his own movie about little league baseball. I’d say it would be easy to round out the rest of the “idiots,” but that might ruin the movie.  Let’s just says there are lesbians with wonderful parenting advice (Mom: “What does mommy always tell you?” Son: “Go big or go home?” Mom: “Don’t fuck up.”, a “She’s just a big bowl of ‘Dear God’” nanny, the self-proclaimed “Team Mom” who keeps asking for donations and doesn’t know her husband subscribes to S.O.F. (Soldier of Fortune), and Marty (the always great Fred Willard) who has the coolest chair ever, shaped like a baseball mitt. And, of course, there is the normal mom, Max’s wife Ava (Nia Vardalos), who becomes just like the rest of them when it’s time for the game that can take the team to the playoffs.

The movie plays out like a Christopher Guest mockumentary (think “Best in Show”), with Max “interviewing” everyone, but it also has a touching side with the moments of Max and his father (Timothy Olyphant), and with that comment, if you like the “Best in Show” style of humor, or “Curb Your Enthusiasm” for that matter, you will probably like the movie. Me, I found it a quirky and funny look at the nuttiness that can be the parents involved with their children and their sports, and I’m also thinking if you like baseball, and you aren’t one of the “idiots” at your kid’s events, you will find the movie funny. If, however, you are the “idiot,” you will probably wonder, “What’s so funny?”

My wife, who was dead tired and fell asleep while we watched the movie, said, “What I saw was pretty good.” Me, I kept laughing and chuckling throughout the entire film, trying not to wake her. I was originally going to go with 3 ½ stars out of 5, but then I remembered one scene with Hans (Robert  de Keyser) and it made me remember a time we almost got our buddy, Big Cooter, to run around a baseball field during a game, and I’ve got to up the rating a bit. With that it’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Dealin’ With Idiots.” Hopefully you’re not one of the “idiots.”

And, oh yea, I almost forgot the antics of the nutty assistant (there’s an extra scene at the end of the credits – kind of weird), so yes, it’s a solid 4 stars for me.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Notice Floss Thingies a Lot?

They’re called “Dental Floss Picks” on the Oral B website, or as I call them, “Floss Thingies,” or as I also call them, “gross litter.” The confusing thing about the Oral B site is that in the top paragraph they discuss how floss picks are a great alternative to dental floss, that they are easier to use to floss your back teeth instead of wrapping dental floss around your fingers, and that “there’s a bonus—the other end of a floss pick features a small plastic pick that can be used instead of a wooden toothpick to remove large food particles that can get caught along the gum line or between the teeth.” But then, as if to contradict itself, at the end of the page, under “Avoid Using Toothpicks,” it states, “Don’t use a toothpick to clean your teeth. Despite the name, a toothpick is not designed for dental cleaning, and it could break off and become stuck between your teeth”

I’m not sure why I ended up on that little rant about floss picks, or at least my analysis of the Oral B website, but what I do know is that I somehow have a knack of spotting those little floss picks everywhere, and it really grosses me out. Sure, I’m all for the benefit of flossing your teeth, my mom flossed her teeth all of her life and in a testament to good oral hygiene had her full set of teeth when she died, but what confuses me at times is the proliferation of the litter that is caused by the floss picks, and my ability to spot them. I guess I also don’t realize that they are so popular, which is probably good for the floss pick industry and making dentists happy, but seriously, are you that person who, in a random parking lot at a day care center, at the post office, at the gas station, at the Wal Mart, decides “I have some food in my teeth” or “I feel the need to floss right now” and pull out the floss pick, do some cleaning that will help promote healthier teeth and gums, and then decide “What am I going to do with this dental pick? I know, I’m going to toss it on the ground so that The Dude on the Right can be grossed out!”

Maybe I need to look up more instead of down at my feet, and sure this plight could have simply been about if you are a dental pick user, but as I saw one the other day on the ground at the post office, I couldn’t help but plight: Do you notice floss thingies a lot?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

How’s Your Football Team Doing?

It’s hard to believe. My how the year flies by. There’s no looking back. Time flies when you’re having fun. Where has the year gone?

I guess I could throw out a few more cliches about how we look back and suddenly realize a year, season, month, day, hour has gone by, but I did just that the other day thinking about this football season. I know, it’s a little weird in respect to a football season, but as it’s past the middle of October, and I was thinking about it, the NFL regular season is nearly half over. Sure, there are the playoffs and Super Bowl that extend things another month or so, but here we are, past week seven of the 17 week/16 game season, and I’m at a weird point of still being half wrapped-up into my teams, and half thinking they’ve both got no chance to make my football season continue into the playoffs.

My teams are the Cleveland Browns and the Chicago Bears. I’ve got the Browns because I grew up in Lorain, OH, just outside of Cleveland, and I’ve got the Bears because I’ve now lived in the Chicago area longer than I lived in Ohio. Both teams show flashes of goodness, and then, just when hopes get a little higher, both teams show a blast of reality, especially after the past weekend with Jay Cutler confirming he has a groin, and the Browns confirming they don’t have a quarterback. The thing is, depending on the next run of about five games moves on, I may be at a very weird position of not knowing which team to cheer on as, and it doesn’t happen that often in the regular season, the Bears play the Browns on December 15th in a game that  just might have playoff implications for both teams, although, by then, both teams may have achieved total suckiness, thereby making the game just another December football game to watch because, well, they are your team, and you watch them until the end of the season.

My teams are both teetering at this stage of the season, but I’m just wondering how your team is doing, and so I plight: How’s your football team doing?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Are you paying attention to the MLB baseball playoffs?

Yes, I know, the title of this plight technically reads “Are you paying attention to the Major League Baseball baseball playoffs?”, but much like going to the ATM machine is redundant, it just reads a little better. In any case, it wasn’t until yesterday when I went to turn on “The X Factor,” and I know, I’m probably one of about ten people still watching the show, but there it was, the MLB playoffs. I’m not really sure what teams were playing because, as you might be able to guess, I haven’t been paying attention to baseball much this year. Sure, there was a little interest as the Cleveland Indians were teasing Tribe fans with a potential playoff run, only to lose in the wild-card game, and Lord knows the Cubs and White Sox are on the road to, well, suckiness right now, but football is here, my Cleveland Browns were surprising people until reality set in, and the Chicago Bears keep showing glimpses of busting out, only to relapse back into Chicago sports suckiness again.

Yet, there they are, going on, the MLB playoffs, interrupting my Simon Cowell fix and my continually complaining to my wife how I can’t stand Paulina Rubio on “The X Factor,” how she comes off as a bad Shakira ripoff from “The Voice,” and how I’m betting the boy competitors are pissed she is their mentor. As it stands I totally forgot about baseball until I tried to watch something else, and so I plight: Are you paying attention to the MLB baseball playoffs?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!