Author: Andy Labis

Do You Prefer Your Cereal Soggy or Crunchy?

Count Chocula at the local Meijer.As I poured the last of my stash of Count Chocula into the bowl, I was surprised to realize I didn’t stock up as much as I did in previous years, where I have been known to wipe out the shelves of my local store in order to be able to enjoy the chocolaty goodness for months and months. As much as I would say it’s probably better that I switch back to Cheerios (though only marginally, especially when it comes to Honey Nut Cheerios), or maybe even an egg and some grainy bread, there is something about eating what is supposed to be a children’s cereal that helps me continue to feel like I’m 12.

It’s kind of weird, though, how food preferences, or maybe I should say something like food preparation preferences can change, as I used to be a fan of the soggy cereal. I would soak it in a bath of milk, not be afraid to let it set on the counter or table and soak up the milky goodness, and then barely have to chew in order to swallow whatever sugary mix of “health” was now in my bowl. Oddly enough, as I’ve gotten older, my choice has changed, as this morning with my last bowl of The Count, I put barely a splash of milk in the bowl and did my best to eat my breakfast quickly so the bats and squishy marshmallows didn’t become a gooey mess. Somehow I’ve switched from a soggy to a crunchy cereal kind of guy.

And so, with my Halloween celebrating officially done (Okay, I might pick up another box or two of the Monster Cereal while they’re still available), I plight: Do you prefer your cereal soggy or crunchy?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Think Warren Buffet Would Start a Chain Letter?

It’s been going around for years, at least in some version, and it starts something like, “Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list…”, and then there is the text of a purported, proposed Constitutional Amendment asking for Congressional reform.

This email goes around and then gets forwarded by lots of people on Facebook just about every time our wonderful members of Congress seem to get their panties all in a bunch and can’t seem to agree, or get along, or get work done. There is a lot of finger-pointing, a bunch of name-calling, and along with that a lot of people complaining about congress, wanting something done, and then forgetting the mess come election time. This time it’s going around thanks to the government shutdown, the closing of memorials so even Veterans can’t visit, and the impending “hitting the debt ceiling” which seems to come around every year lately.

The thing is people seem to have a short memory as this email, according to Snopes, has been circulating in one form or another since 2009, and then enhanced when yes, Warren Buffet did do an interview on CNBC commenting about how members of Congress should be ineligible for re-election when there is a deficit problem. The thing is, since the Buffet quote about the 3% deficit problem is technically true, Snopes lists the quote as “True”, but I’m going to guess most people fail to read the rest of the Snopes analysis detailing the falseness with the rest of the email, and the supplemental link to the deconstructing of the proposed amendment and most importantly, whether or not Warren Buffet asked people to share the email.

I used to tell people when they forward things that they are fake, or partially fake in this case, but most of the times they just seem mad that I corrected them, sometimes write back something like “Well, he should have said this.”, or just don’t care, so I’ve pretty much tried to stop the urge to tell people to stop forwarding things that aren’t true. I was going to plight more along the lines of “Do you care if you send emails that aren’t true?”, but I’ve found most people don’t care, so instead I’m going with “Do you think Warren Buffet would start a chain letter?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Curse of Chucky

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Curse of Chucky
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Brennan Elliott, Maitland McConnell, Summer Howell
MPAA Rated: R / Unrated
Released By: Unviersal 1440 Entertainment
Blu-ray Release Date: October 8, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them afraid of every doll.
Date Movie: If she likes the horror!
Gratuitous Sex: Some girl-on-girl action, but no nudity.
Gratuitous Violence: Umm, duh.
Action: Some chasing.
Laughs: Achuckle in a horror-movie type.
Memorable Scene: I loved the death scene with the priest.
Memorable Quote: “Yea, the eighties were awesome.”
Directed By: Don Mancini
Cool things about the Blu-ray: The “Voodoo Doll: The Chucky Legacy” and “Living Doll” Bringing Chucky to Life” featurettes are great.

He is the doll that won’t die. Yes, Chucky has been terrorizing people for 25 years now, has seen many iterations since the original “Child’s Play” movie, has sometimes been horror and sometimes horredy, but for “Curse of Chucky” the evil doll is back in all of his evilness, the franchise is back into horror mode, and dammit, I enjoyed it in all its Blu-ray glory.

The story is basically the same, this time starting with the arrival of a delivery at an old house where Nica (Fiona Dourif), she being in a wheelchair, lives with her mom. Yup, it’s a creepy-looking doll, and neither of them think anything of it, and then mom ends up dead. Sure, I could have yelled “SPOILER ALERT,” but really, it’s a Chucky movie, so do I really need to warn you about people ending up dead?

In any case, with mom’s death here comes the rest of the family to support Nica, and convince her she needs to move out of the house. Of course there is a little girl involved who doesn’t find the Chucky doll creepy, of course more people start dying, of course it’s a stormy night, sadly there’s not the obligatory nudity but there is some girl-on-girl action and underwear, of course Nica eventually finds out that it is the Chucky doll doing the killing, and yes, the movie finishes where the franchise can easily continue should they want to keep horror, and the doll, alive.

Is the acting Oscar-worthy? Please, it’s a Chucky movie, although actually everyone does a great job as either the clueless-dude roll (Brennan Elliott as Ian), bimbo roll (Maitland McConnell as Jill), little kid roll (Summer Howell as Alice), and evil (Brad Dourif as Charles Lee Ray and the Voice of Chucky). Something else that is nice is that with the movie being the Chucky franchise, there is actually some money spent on effects, the movie visually looks great, and not a cheap, horror film, and we get some well-done horror music. Then there is Chucky himself, who has come a long way in terms of realism, well, for as real as a doll should act, since the initial “Child’s Play” film as yes, the animatronics are pretty impressive as Chucky just looks a lot meaner rather than cartoon-like Chucky you might remember.

Forget Chucky getting in on with another doll, forget tons of cheesiness, and relish in horror goodness that treats the franchise with the respect a scarred-up, 25 year-old doll deserves. “Curse of Chucky” is horror goodness, there’s a nice surprise at the end, and it’s 4 stars out of 5. Had the girl-on-girl action involved a nip-slip or at least some side-boobage I could have easily seen me getting to 4 ½ or 5 star horrorness, but alas, I’m leaving it at 4.

The Blu-ray combo pack gives fans of Chucky a great look at the history of the franchise with “Voodoo Doll: The Chucky Legacy,” and if you want to know how Chucky looks so awesome, check out the “Living Doll: Bringing Chucky to Life” featurette. The gag reel is a throw-away as far as I’m concerned, but all in all, a decent Blu-ray set of features.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

Has a Music Video Ever Ruined a Song for You?

This plight makes me admit a few things I don’t know if I really want to out here on the internet. First off I’m a fan of girl pop music. Yes, I’ve been a Deborah Gibson fan back when she was Debbie, like me some Avril Lavigne, and yes, you can catch me singing some Miley Cyrus every now and then. Miley Cyrus’ latest “in the spotlight” escapades aside, I’m usually able to separate the crazy from the music, and for whatever reason I’ve been liking her song “Wrecking Ball” that has been hitting the airwaves, not to be confused with the Bruce Springsteen anthem, “Wrecking Ball.” The Miley song is catchy, in that girl pop kind of way, and then there was talk about the video, how Miley gets naked, and this, that, and the other thing. Not really caring that much, and with MTV not airing videos anymore, I didn’t really try to search it out.

Then the other morning I was up early, popped the Vevo (The go-to place for music videos now) on, and decided I would catch up with some music video watching while I was doing some writing. There on the menu was the Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball” video. Deciding I should see what all of the hubbub was about I decided to watch it, and I have to say I don’t know if I can listen to the song anymore as I think the video ruined the song for me.

Sure, Miley was in her short hair (which I don’t like), in underwear, and sometimes naked, in a video with a wrecking ball and a sledge hammer, and she’s slithering around, which is fine. Then she starts that creepy “tongue sticking out” thing that had grossed everyone out when she was on the VMA’s, and this weird sneer thing is going on as well. I know I’m an older dude now, and maybe I’m slowly losing touch with the youngins, but the entire video just creeped me out, and her prancing around in her underwear just didn’t come off sexy at all. That and the fact that it’s just a crappy music video for a song that actually had some potential to make a decent music video.

The bummer part now is that whenever the song comes on the radio all I’m going to think of is Miley, with that tongue, licking the wrecking ball. Sure, she needs to grow up and out of her Hannah Montana persona, but hopefully she’ll get over this phase quickly, or stop making videos, or else I’m going to have to turn to radio station so the image doesn’t make me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth. I’m also worried that she has the potential to now ruin Saturday Night Live for me, as she’s hosting and singing, and if there is a lot of tongue wagging I have a feeling I won’t be able to watch. Miley, please stop with the tongue!

With the song “Wrecking Ball” now ruined by a slithering Miley and her tongue (an hopefully not Saturday Night Live this weekend), I’m plighting: Has a music video ever ruined a song for you?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Button the Top Button When You Hang Up a Dress Shirt?

It’s funny to me how some things stick with me for all of my life. Buttoning my top bottom when I hang up my dress shirts is one of those things.

It started when I was young. I went to Catholic school, and like most had a slew of mostly white dress shirts in my closet. Now I’m not totally sure on this stage of things, however, I do know my mom did the laundry, but I think I was in charge of putting my clothes away when she was done, i.e., hanging shirts in the closet, putting things in the drawers, etc. I also had an Aunt Marcella Mattey, to us Aunt Marce. She was a business woman who at one time owned the Amherst Cinema in Amherst, Ohio with my Uncle John. She was also nit-picky about cleanliness. I know she would, at times, inspect my room, and it’d better be clean or else I would catch holy-hell for it. At one time, however, she looked in my closet and at this point in time I was probably like most kids who just threw my dress shirts on a hanger. She was not pleased. She pointed out that when I hang my dress shirts I should always button the top button. Why? To help keep the collar neat when you put the shirt on and don’t wear a tie. She pointed out that otherwise the collar flops down, and you don’t look prim and proper.

Ever since that day I, when I hang freshly washed dress shirts, I button the top button.

“What, in God’s name, made you think of this plight?” you may want to ask me. Well, the other day my wife hung up my dress shirts, and low and behold she is in the habit of buttoning the second button and not the top button. Further low and behold, I pulled out a shirt to put it on, and sure enough the collar flopped down and wasn’t neat. As I pointed out to her, the collar flops down like a woman’s collar, so I did my best to tactfully thank her for hanging my shirts, but tried to nicely point out that should she do it again, to please button the top button.

Funny, just about every time I go to hang my shirts, and button that top button, I think of my Aunt Marce, and thank her for doing her best to keep me neat and looking good. And maybe this is more of a plight for the men than the women, but: Do you button the top button when you hang up a dress shirt?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Think the Jimmy Kimmel / Kanye West Twitter Fight was Fake?

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that Jimmy Kimmel made news by it being discovered he was the perpetrator of the “Twerking FAIL” video where a girl catches on fire in her room when she is twerking against her door. Then, the other day, Jimmy Kimmel hits the news again for a “Twitter War” with Kanye West, started seemingly when Kanye was upset with Jimmy’s spoofing of an interview Kanye had with the BBC. In his spoof Jimmy used little kids in the places of Kanye and the interview dude, complete with milkshakes. Suddenly Kanye tweets his displeasure with him and how Sarah Silverman is funnier than Jimmy, much to the pleasure of Kimmel who was now able to use this for more witty banter on his show.

Lost in the Twitter war is a tweet by Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Tribune pointing out that there was a new, latenight boss at ABC, who just so happened to be the same guy who “shepherded the Kardashians at E!,” and in case you’ve been living under a rock, Kanye West happens to be involved with one of those Kardashian girls. In case you don’t know his writing, Phil Rosenthal is now doing business reporting for the Tribune, but those of us in Chicago remember him also as the head TV critic dude when he was over at the Sun Times (I do miss his TV analysis), and still seems to know quite a bit about the TV industry, so when Phil throws out a hint of “Hmmm? This seems oddly coincidental?” tweet, I’m pretty much on board with Phil.

The more I analyzed the Kanye tweets, and Kimmel’s response, the more I’m trusting Phil as it appears another likely Jimmy Kimmel  media manipulation seems to be at play.

I’m with Phil calling this a bogus “Twitter War,” although it’s still kind of funny, but with that I plight: Do you think the Jimmy Kimmel / Kanye West twitter fight was fake?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you climb on your counters to get to upper cabinets?

This plight was actually inspired weeks ago, but came back to me yesterday in the bathroom. You see, a few weeks ago I was looking for something in our kitchen cabinets. I think it was noodles, or maybe balsamic vinegar, but that’s not important. What is important is that I couldn’t find it on the lower shelves, and thought it might be on the top shelf. Now, mind you, a step-stool is probably a mere twenty steps away from me at this time, and the choice is in my head, “Walk over, get the step stool, set up the step stool, climb up the step stool, look on the top shelves, find stuff, climb down, put the step stool away,” or “Get your fat-ass on top of the counter and look on the top shelf.” I opted for the latter, and reminded myself of when I was about eight years old and liked to climb on the cabinets.

And so, yesterday, I’m in the bathroom, and there, on the wall near the ceiling, was a spider. Again, a step stool was a mere few steps away, but time was of the essence as I knew by the time I got the stool and came back, there was a high level of chance the spider would be gone. Alas, there I was, climbing on the bathroom counter and securing said spider, to release him in the wild so he could be free.

Call it laziness, call it expediency, or call it trying to connect with my eight-year old self again, but lately, given the choice of getting the step stool or climbing on the counter, I’m climbing on the counter. And so I plight: Do you climb on your counters to get to upper cabinets?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do you make your bed every day?

I saw a story in the newspaper the other day about how not making your bed can actually be healthier for you. It was related to dust mites and their need for moisture, and how leaving your bed unmade actually lets your bed air out, become less moist, and thus a less-friendly environment for the proliferation of dust mites. As I started to look into the story, however, I realized this idea has been going around for years, and that it seems every few years someone picks up on the concept, throws an article in a newspaper, especially when allergy season is bad, and everyone is like “Wow, I shouldn’t make my bed.” I was the same way, as somehow I’ve gotten in the habit of making our bed every morning (although I do admit my bed-making skills are not the greatest so now I’m trying to convince my wife we should be a Kickstarter investor in Smart Bedding, whose tagline is “Never Make Your Bed Again,” but for this she just looks at me like I’m lazy).  Okay, back to dust mites. I said to my wife, “I’m going to stop making the bed. We’ll have less dust mites.” She looked at me like, “Whatever,” and I pointed to the news article, realizing she wasn’t really buying it, and that I would somehow keep making the bed anyway as habits are what they are.

My problem now is that I actually started reading up on this, and finding this article from Hyla Cass in The Huffington Post, she tells me that I should keep making the bed, only now it becomes more complicated as I should “air-out” the bed before remaking it.

I guess, in the end, dust mites, dust schmites, I’ll probably keep making the bed, and probably won’t air it out as the article recommends. I will plight, however: Do you make your bed every day?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

And as a P.S. to bed-making, no, I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet.

Gimme the Loot

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:29 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Gimme the Loot
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ty Hickson, Tashiana Washington
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: IFC Films
Released on: September 17, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Unless you want them to be foul-mothed graffiti artists.
Date Movie: If she likes a well-done movie.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got some hanky-panky.
Gratuitous Violence: Nothing horrible.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots.
Memorable Scene: Trying to break into the rich girl’s apartment.
Memorable Quote: “I got stickage!”
Directed By: Adam Leon
Cool Things About the Blu-ray: The “All City Hour” is fun, and its got the commentary and deleted scene stuff, too.

Sometimes a movie surprises you. Sometimes that surprise is bad, sometimes that surprise is good, and sometimes that surprise is great. “Gimme the Loot” is a movie that was a great surprise.

Sure, that opening paragraph should be enough to get you to go and get the movie, or at least download it, but I’ll give you some story stuff to help you along.

If you see a synopsis about a couple of kids in the inner city who like to spray graffiti you might shy away thinking this is going to be either a do-gooder kind of film, how kids find out they can be more than graffiti taggers, or you might think the movie is a sad look at the inner city, with gang shootings and danger. “Gimme the Loot” isn’t either, but a great story about Malcolm (Ty Hickson) and Sofia (Tashiana Washington), two friends who live in the Bronz and happen to be graffiti taggers. When their latest creation gets painted over by a rival gang, the duo decides that the tagging war is too back and forth for them, and that they need to hit the ultimate goal for taggers in New York City, tagging the New York Mets home run apple.  The good news: They have a connection to let them sneak into the stadium. The bad news: They need $500 in two days to pay him to let them in.

So our couple is now on a quest to scrape up $500, and how do you try to make money in the inner city? Well, you try to sell a cell phone you took from the kid who took your bike, you sell some dope to the rich girls, and you, well, you also see a necklace at the rich girl’s apartment and decide it might be easy to steal.  With that we get Malcolm working the selling drugs side through some stoners, and we get Sofia doing her best to help out with the stealing a necklace heist, and through it all we get to wonder if maybe Malcolm and Sofia can actually pull this off, if they actually have a thing for each other, and if their life will be better by becoming famous.

The thing with “Gimme the Loot” is that, and I don’t know how accurate it is, but it really is just trying to show two kids living in the inner city, during a couple of atypical kind of days for them, complete with some rival tagging-gang interaction, some punks in the neighborhood, some people who are always a little more “trouble” than they are, although they need their help, and some hanky-panky.

The language in this movie is real, so be ready for a lot of f-bombs, and there’s a slight “beating up” part, but for the most part this movie nicely shows the weird world of tagging, surviving, scraping, and trying to be famous, and maybe even some love. The kids actually have a nice heart, though their circumstances put them in some bad situations, and the writing in the movie is also witty at times, with the kind of straight talk you would expect from any batch of teens, like “You’re fucking breath smells like ass, so get out of my face,” and “I got stickage!”

Look, just get this movie and be pleasantly surprised. It’s not gut-busting laughter for the most part, but for a well done, entertaining comedy with two characters you can’t help but like, “Gimme the Loot” is a 4 ½ star out of 5 film.

As far as the Blu-ray, the “All City Hour” featurette is great, and you get some of the other normal things like commentary and deleted scenes, but really, the movie is the gem here.

Java Heat

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:44 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Java Heat
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Kellen Lutz, Mickey Rourke, Ario Bayu
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: IFC Films / MPI Media Group
Blu-ray Release: September 17, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Nope. It’s got killing and blowing stuff up.
Date Movie: Nah. Unless she finds Kellen Lutz dreamy.
Gratuitous Sex: A scene where Jake picks up a lady of the evening.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of shooting and blowing stuff up.
Action: See “Violence.”
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really.
Memorable Quote: Hashim to Jake: “You were given two eyes and one mouth. What did you see?”
Directed By: Connor Allyn
Cool things about the Blu-ray: It’s got a nice “Making of…” featurette where we learn of Kellen’s future acting plans.

You know what makes me sad? No? I’ll tell you. A movie that has a lot of potential and a pretty decent story, only to be pulled down by a lead actor that isn’t lead actor qualified yet, and a lazy plot development that takes away from the entertaining plot/action that preceded it. “Java Heat” made me sad. And yes, there might be a spoiler in this review.

Here’s the thing, “Java Heat” isn’t a bad movie, and it tries really hard. The story is pretty safe, basically about an FBI/marine dude who is hot on the trail of an international terrorist/thief guy, and finds himself in Indonesia at the latest bombing which turns out to be an attempt to get some crown jewels. He becomes intertwined with the Indonesian police in some weird world of “We hate Muslims/We hate Americans/We hate anyone who doesn’t like our General” world, and it’s supposed to be an action-packed thriller on the way to catch the bad guy. Sounds nice enough. Just as things are heating up, and the intrigue grows, guess what? Now let’s throw in a kidnapping involving the Indonesian police dude’s family, so now it’s personal. Why? Why go with this lazy plot-line? Why not ratchet up the action? Why not throw in some double-cross? Blah!

In the not-ready-for-prime-time-role as leading action man we get Kellen Lutz as Jake, yes, Kellen of “Twilight” fame, and although he has the looks of a potential action guy, his acting seems stuck in Twilight. Then there is Mickey Rourke, fresh from awesomeness in “The Wrestler” and even being a kick-ass bad guy in “Iron Man 2,” and here he is in a role with a bad accent, in what almost seems like a toss-off role with a bad guy who doesn’t seem that sinister. Then there is the fact that as a Marine/Spy/FBI guy, Jake is an idiot. He doesn’t seem to know his room is bugged, he gets himself drugged, and he doesn’t realize they have internet in Indonesia. What kind of spy-guy is this?

I did, however, like Ario Bayu in the role of Lieutenant Hashim, well, at least he until he was relegated to “saving my family,” but without him to hold this movie together, I would have been tossing and turning at night to go with only one or maybe two stars.

It’s got some decent action, though I suppose budget constraints kept things a little tamer than they could have been, and for an evening of watching something because you’ve seen most of the other movies, “Java Heat” isn’t bad. I’ll split this right in the middle and give the attempt at a decent action thriller 2 ½ stars out of 5. A better actor for the lead, maybe a better budget, and I could have gone a little higher, but there was too much bad for Ario Bayu to bring up that much much.

As far as the Blu-ray, it’s got the “Making of…” featurette where we learn Kellen has hopes of being the next, big action franchise star. I don’t think this movie helps him on his quest, however, that and the fact that his acting in this movie is stiff. He almost needed to quit trying so hard and have a little fun. And not let his character be so stupid.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!