Author: Andy Labis

Do You Think the Jimmy Kimmel / Kanye West Twitter Fight was Fake?

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that Jimmy Kimmel made news by it being discovered he was the perpetrator of the “Twerking FAIL” video where a girl catches on fire in her room when she is twerking against her door. Then, the other day, Jimmy Kimmel hits the news again for a “Twitter War” with Kanye West, started seemingly when Kanye was upset with Jimmy’s spoofing of an interview Kanye had with the BBC. In his spoof Jimmy used little kids in the places of Kanye and the interview dude, complete with milkshakes. Suddenly Kanye tweets his displeasure with him and how Sarah Silverman is funnier than Jimmy, much to the pleasure of Kimmel who was now able to use this for more witty banter on his show.

Lost in the Twitter war is a tweet by Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Tribune pointing out that there was a new, latenight boss at ABC, who just so happened to be the same guy who “shepherded the Kardashians at E!,” and in case you’ve been living under a rock, Kanye West happens to be involved with one of those Kardashian girls. In case you don’t know his writing, Phil Rosenthal is now doing business reporting for the Tribune, but those of us in Chicago remember him also as the head TV critic dude when he was over at the Sun Times (I do miss his TV analysis), and still seems to know quite a bit about the TV industry, so when Phil throws out a hint of “Hmmm? This seems oddly coincidental?” tweet, I’m pretty much on board with Phil.

The more I analyzed the Kanye tweets, and Kimmel’s response, the more I’m trusting Phil as it appears another likely Jimmy Kimmel  media manipulation seems to be at play.

I’m with Phil calling this a bogus “Twitter War,” although it’s still kind of funny, but with that I plight: Do you think the Jimmy Kimmel / Kanye West twitter fight was fake?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you climb on your counters to get to upper cabinets?

This plight was actually inspired weeks ago, but came back to me yesterday in the bathroom. You see, a few weeks ago I was looking for something in our kitchen cabinets. I think it was noodles, or maybe balsamic vinegar, but that’s not important. What is important is that I couldn’t find it on the lower shelves, and thought it might be on the top shelf. Now, mind you, a step-stool is probably a mere twenty steps away from me at this time, and the choice is in my head, “Walk over, get the step stool, set up the step stool, climb up the step stool, look on the top shelves, find stuff, climb down, put the step stool away,” or “Get your fat-ass on top of the counter and look on the top shelf.” I opted for the latter, and reminded myself of when I was about eight years old and liked to climb on the cabinets.

And so, yesterday, I’m in the bathroom, and there, on the wall near the ceiling, was a spider. Again, a step stool was a mere few steps away, but time was of the essence as I knew by the time I got the stool and came back, there was a high level of chance the spider would be gone. Alas, there I was, climbing on the bathroom counter and securing said spider, to release him in the wild so he could be free.

Call it laziness, call it expediency, or call it trying to connect with my eight-year old self again, but lately, given the choice of getting the step stool or climbing on the counter, I’m climbing on the counter. And so I plight: Do you climb on your counters to get to upper cabinets?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do you make your bed every day?

I saw a story in the newspaper the other day about how not making your bed can actually be healthier for you. It was related to dust mites and their need for moisture, and how leaving your bed unmade actually lets your bed air out, become less moist, and thus a less-friendly environment for the proliferation of dust mites. As I started to look into the story, however, I realized this idea has been going around for years, and that it seems every few years someone picks up on the concept, throws an article in a newspaper, especially when allergy season is bad, and everyone is like “Wow, I shouldn’t make my bed.” I was the same way, as somehow I’ve gotten in the habit of making our bed every morning (although I do admit my bed-making skills are not the greatest so now I’m trying to convince my wife we should be a Kickstarter investor in Smart Bedding, whose tagline is “Never Make Your Bed Again,” but for this she just looks at me like I’m lazy).  Okay, back to dust mites. I said to my wife, “I’m going to stop making the bed. We’ll have less dust mites.” She looked at me like, “Whatever,” and I pointed to the news article, realizing she wasn’t really buying it, and that I would somehow keep making the bed anyway as habits are what they are.

My problem now is that I actually started reading up on this, and finding this article from Hyla Cass in The Huffington Post, she tells me that I should keep making the bed, only now it becomes more complicated as I should “air-out” the bed before remaking it.

I guess, in the end, dust mites, dust schmites, I’ll probably keep making the bed, and probably won’t air it out as the article recommends. I will plight, however: Do you make your bed every day?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

And as a P.S. to bed-making, no, I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet.

Gimme the Loot

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:29 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Gimme the Loot
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ty Hickson, Tashiana Washington
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: IFC Films
Released on: September 17, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Unless you want them to be foul-mothed graffiti artists.
Date Movie: If she likes a well-done movie.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got some hanky-panky.
Gratuitous Violence: Nothing horrible.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots.
Memorable Scene: Trying to break into the rich girl’s apartment.
Memorable Quote: “I got stickage!”
Directed By: Adam Leon
Cool Things About the Blu-ray: The “All City Hour” is fun, and its got the commentary and deleted scene stuff, too.

Sometimes a movie surprises you. Sometimes that surprise is bad, sometimes that surprise is good, and sometimes that surprise is great. “Gimme the Loot” is a movie that was a great surprise.

Sure, that opening paragraph should be enough to get you to go and get the movie, or at least download it, but I’ll give you some story stuff to help you along.

If you see a synopsis about a couple of kids in the inner city who like to spray graffiti you might shy away thinking this is going to be either a do-gooder kind of film, how kids find out they can be more than graffiti taggers, or you might think the movie is a sad look at the inner city, with gang shootings and danger. “Gimme the Loot” isn’t either, but a great story about Malcolm (Ty Hickson) and Sofia (Tashiana Washington), two friends who live in the Bronz and happen to be graffiti taggers. When their latest creation gets painted over by a rival gang, the duo decides that the tagging war is too back and forth for them, and that they need to hit the ultimate goal for taggers in New York City, tagging the New York Mets home run apple.  The good news: They have a connection to let them sneak into the stadium. The bad news: They need $500 in two days to pay him to let them in.

So our couple is now on a quest to scrape up $500, and how do you try to make money in the inner city? Well, you try to sell a cell phone you took from the kid who took your bike, you sell some dope to the rich girls, and you, well, you also see a necklace at the rich girl’s apartment and decide it might be easy to steal.  With that we get Malcolm working the selling drugs side through some stoners, and we get Sofia doing her best to help out with the stealing a necklace heist, and through it all we get to wonder if maybe Malcolm and Sofia can actually pull this off, if they actually have a thing for each other, and if their life will be better by becoming famous.

The thing with “Gimme the Loot” is that, and I don’t know how accurate it is, but it really is just trying to show two kids living in the inner city, during a couple of atypical kind of days for them, complete with some rival tagging-gang interaction, some punks in the neighborhood, some people who are always a little more “trouble” than they are, although they need their help, and some hanky-panky.

The language in this movie is real, so be ready for a lot of f-bombs, and there’s a slight “beating up” part, but for the most part this movie nicely shows the weird world of tagging, surviving, scraping, and trying to be famous, and maybe even some love. The kids actually have a nice heart, though their circumstances put them in some bad situations, and the writing in the movie is also witty at times, with the kind of straight talk you would expect from any batch of teens, like “You’re fucking breath smells like ass, so get out of my face,” and “I got stickage!”

Look, just get this movie and be pleasantly surprised. It’s not gut-busting laughter for the most part, but for a well done, entertaining comedy with two characters you can’t help but like, “Gimme the Loot” is a 4 ½ star out of 5 film.

As far as the Blu-ray, the “All City Hour” featurette is great, and you get some of the other normal things like commentary and deleted scenes, but really, the movie is the gem here.

Java Heat

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:44 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Java Heat
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Kellen Lutz, Mickey Rourke, Ario Bayu
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: IFC Films / MPI Media Group
Blu-ray Release: September 17, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Nope. It’s got killing and blowing stuff up.
Date Movie: Nah. Unless she finds Kellen Lutz dreamy.
Gratuitous Sex: A scene where Jake picks up a lady of the evening.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of shooting and blowing stuff up.
Action: See “Violence.”
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really.
Memorable Quote: Hashim to Jake: “You were given two eyes and one mouth. What did you see?”
Directed By: Connor Allyn
Cool things about the Blu-ray: It’s got a nice “Making of…” featurette where we learn of Kellen’s future acting plans.

You know what makes me sad? No? I’ll tell you. A movie that has a lot of potential and a pretty decent story, only to be pulled down by a lead actor that isn’t lead actor qualified yet, and a lazy plot development that takes away from the entertaining plot/action that preceded it. “Java Heat” made me sad. And yes, there might be a spoiler in this review.

Here’s the thing, “Java Heat” isn’t a bad movie, and it tries really hard. The story is pretty safe, basically about an FBI/marine dude who is hot on the trail of an international terrorist/thief guy, and finds himself in Indonesia at the latest bombing which turns out to be an attempt to get some crown jewels. He becomes intertwined with the Indonesian police in some weird world of “We hate Muslims/We hate Americans/We hate anyone who doesn’t like our General” world, and it’s supposed to be an action-packed thriller on the way to catch the bad guy. Sounds nice enough. Just as things are heating up, and the intrigue grows, guess what? Now let’s throw in a kidnapping involving the Indonesian police dude’s family, so now it’s personal. Why? Why go with this lazy plot-line? Why not ratchet up the action? Why not throw in some double-cross? Blah!

In the not-ready-for-prime-time-role as leading action man we get Kellen Lutz as Jake, yes, Kellen of “Twilight” fame, and although he has the looks of a potential action guy, his acting seems stuck in Twilight. Then there is Mickey Rourke, fresh from awesomeness in “The Wrestler” and even being a kick-ass bad guy in “Iron Man 2,” and here he is in a role with a bad accent, in what almost seems like a toss-off role with a bad guy who doesn’t seem that sinister. Then there is the fact that as a Marine/Spy/FBI guy, Jake is an idiot. He doesn’t seem to know his room is bugged, he gets himself drugged, and he doesn’t realize they have internet in Indonesia. What kind of spy-guy is this?

I did, however, like Ario Bayu in the role of Lieutenant Hashim, well, at least he until he was relegated to “saving my family,” but without him to hold this movie together, I would have been tossing and turning at night to go with only one or maybe two stars.

It’s got some decent action, though I suppose budget constraints kept things a little tamer than they could have been, and for an evening of watching something because you’ve seen most of the other movies, “Java Heat” isn’t bad. I’ll split this right in the middle and give the attempt at a decent action thriller 2 ½ stars out of 5. A better actor for the lead, maybe a better budget, and I could have gone a little higher, but there was too much bad for Ario Bayu to bring up that much much.

As far as the Blu-ray, it’s got the “Making of…” featurette where we learn Kellen has hopes of being the next, big action franchise star. I don’t think this movie helps him on his quest, however, that and the fact that his acting in this movie is stiff. He almost needed to quit trying so hard and have a little fun. And not let his character be so stupid.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Want a Motorcycle?

I’ve been hearing a lot about motorcycles lately, namely people who want them, or especially in seeing these tricycle style bikes, all tricked out, or as I call them, motorcycle wannabes. As I look around on the internet I find that they are called “trikes,” yes, like the little kid tricycles, and even Harley-Davidson, or what I thought was the “cool of the cool” in terms of motorcycles, is in the game, with something called the “Tri Glide Ultra” (It starts at $32,549 according to the Harley website). It also seems Harley has been doing trikes for quite some time, but maybe it’s just because I’ve been seeing them more recently that I’ve started to care.

Me, when I was in high school, we had a moped, which I thought was cool, but really, in retrospect, was kind of dorky. The thing was, with the moped, you didn’t need a license to drive one, as the contraption combined the thrill of the motorcycle with pedals you could actually use should you run out of gas, I suppose. The other problem was that the pedals were practically useless as it was akin to pedaling a 100 pound bicycle in first gear should that 100 pound bicycle be a ten speed. I, however, was also a rebel, as our moped actually had an engine that was classified as too large to be considered on the “bicycle” license so that if I was actually pulled over by the cops, I could be arrested for not having a motorcycle license.

Anyway, the thing about the “trike” is it just seems like a lazy man’s motorcycle, with the three wheels so you don’t really have to balance, and many times it seems the trike owners tend to trick out their trikes, adding much more in terms of bling to them, as if seeing you on a trike didn’t bring attention to you enough, now you have to make it fancy.

Trikes aside, there is the part of me that thinks riding a motorcycle would be cool, what with the wind in your hair and bugs in your teeth, reminiscent of my days on the moped. But then the practical part of me goes that I can’t really afford a motorcycle, living in the Chicago area means I could only really ride it for half a year, then there are the asshole drivers I see who don’t treat motorcycle riders with any respect, and to top it off my garage is too small.

In the end I don’t see myself riding a motorcycle anytime soon, let alone buying one, but that’s not going to stop me from plighting: Do you want a motorcycle?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you pull a spoon out of your mouth upside down?

Many times I think I’m weird, have weird thought processes, or do weird things, but as I was eating ice cream years ago my wife pointed out to me that I pull the spoon out of my mouth upside down.  I let the comment go, even though I realized it did, but it wasn’t until I started paying attention to my yogurt eating lately that I’ve become obsessed with it,  as yes, I put the spoon full of yogurt in my mouth, and then turn it over so that my bottom lip cleans off the spoon. As I now pay attention to different things I eat with a spoon, I notice I don’t do it with everything. My cereal in the morning? Nope, in goes the spoon right-side-up, and then it comes out the same way. Soup? Pretty much the same thing, as long as it’s a “liquid” kind of soup like chicken noodle. But when it comes to creamier things, like yogurt, ice cream, or something like a cream of broccoli soup, in goes the spoon right side up, and then I’ll turn the spoon upside down in my mouth, and pull it out perfectly clean.

So, as I was eating my yogurt the other day and pulling the spoon out of my mouth, I wondered how many others seemed to do this, or if you even realize you do it? This might be a plight you need to investigate, so if you don’t know for sure, go out, get some ice cream or yogurt, eat it with a spoon, and report back on how you pull the spoon our of your mouth. Until then I plight: Do you pull a spoon our of your mouth upside down?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have you Considered Training for a Marathon?

Every now and then I go for a long walk. Sometimes it’s with our dog, Milo, and sometimes it will be a solo walk, but undoubtedly, during one of these walks, I think to myself, “Self, you like longs walks. Why don’t you train for a marathon?” In my head I have grandiose notions of being some 40+ year old dude who can somehow beat the Kenyans to the finish line at the Chicago Marathon, then I’ll try to jog for a while instead of walk, and then, rather quickly, as I’m huffing and puffing, reality kicks back in as I then think to myself, “Self, what are you thinking?”, and then it’s back to walking. The thinking then goes back to things like my “bowler’s knee” as I call it, where I have issues with my left knee from all of my years of bowling when I was a younger lad. Then the thoughts go to my OCD, or rather I should say my ankle OCD, or to be technical, my osteochondrosis dessicans, and figuring there is no way my ankle, let alone my knee would be up for the challenge. Then, of course, there is the actual training, where, I was reminded today by a post from a friend on Facebook, that you shouldn’t drink beer while training for a marathon. I know beer is involved in marathon training, but I think it’s supposed to be after the marathon and not before.

I know a couple of people who have completed a marathon and applaud them, and I know a couple of others who are training (I’m not sure on one of them anymore as their excuse for training was so that they could eat more, or at least so they posted), but me, I think I’ll stick to my walks. That is, unless, beer is part of the “before” training regimen. Maybe I’ll have to look into this marathon training a little more.

With the Chicago Marathon coming up in a little over a month, and inspired by a post by a friend of mine, I know I consider marathon training every now and then, and so I plight: Have you considered training for a marathon?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Is it Wrong to Use a Coupon at Goodwill?

The other day I had twenty dollars in my pocket. What is a man to do? Of course, I went to the Goodwill because I could really use some gator shoes that were green and a velour jumpsuit. Upon entering there was a lady at the table, and she offered me a coupon. I thought to myself, “Self, it’s a coupon! Sweet!”, but then I thought, “Self, it’s a coupon for Goodwill. Weird.”

Now, I know some of bad stories about Goodwill, about the executives supposedly making money while the workers get paid squat, and even I wonder how they are able to expand so quickly where it almost seems there is a Goodwill on every corner lately, but for Goodwill to issue a coupon seems a bit bizarre, even if it is probably meant for someone who needs it a little bit more than I do. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good bargain, but is Goodwill hurting to the point now that they have to issue coupons?

Sadly, my Goodwill was out of the green, gator shoes, and the velour jumpsuit looked a bit, well, too velour, so I ended up leaving the store empty handed, and I didn’t even keep the coupon even though I probably should have taken it for another trip down the road, or maybe to pass along to some people who might be able to use it more, but all I could kept thinking, and so I have to plight: Is it wrong to use a coupon at Goodwill?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Are You Ready for Autumn?

Sure, this is mostly a northern hemisphere question for all of my worldly readers, but as the weather is starting to shift here in Chicago, and we always seem to say that it’s been a weird this season or that season, as the sunny hours are getting shorter, the skies are getting grayer, and the weather goes from oodles of boob sweat or sweating your balls off, to “Where did I put my jacket?”, it’s the time of year when the summer folks are sad to see the warmth go, and the winter folks are happy because snow is right around the corner. Me, I enjoy the change of seasons, sometimes like a decent snow, and love the change of colors in the fall, so I guess it’s not too much of a stretch to say I’m looking forward to fall. I guess my only complaint is that the perfect time of year, you know, when he colors are at their peak, always seems to be too short. It’s kind of like winter when there is that one week that is perfect, or the summer when you get a decent stretch of not too hot, not too cold weather, or even the spring, when the flowers just start to bloom and it feels like, well spring in the air.

I guess what I’m really saying is that it’s almost too bad the year wasn’t four months long, with one perfect month for each season because, generally, it seems after about one month we would be ready for the next one. Instead we always get those in-between months, where it’s not quite in season, it’s not quite out of the season, and we are either in “I wish it were…” or “What happened to…?” mode.

In any case, before you know it the leaves will be off of the trees, people will complain about it being too cold, and I’ll be having a plight about if you are ready for spring. For now, though, I plight: Are you ready for Autumn?

That’s it for this plight!I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!