Author: Andy Labis

Have you ever had an egg roll with peanut butter in it?

The other day my wife said the oddest thing, or so I thought. She said that she was craving a good egg roll, which I must admit that every now and then I crave a good egg roll as well (My go-to when I was working in Chicago for an awesome egg roll was Chinatown Cafe at 2604 S Wentworth). That wasn’t the odd thing. The odd thing was her saying the best egg roll she ever had was made with peanut butter. I looked at her with confusion, and she told me that in her travels, she found that “authentic” egg rolls are made with peanut butter in them. And so our quest began

As our travels yesterday took us into Chicago, we had three goals: 1) Get a free cupcake from Sprinkles Chicago when they tweet their word of the day. 2) Get an italian lemonade from Mario’s on Taylor Street. 3) Find a restaurant that put peanut butter in their egg rolls. So the internet search began.

It turns out there were a few restaurants that put peanut butter in their egg rolls, but for convenience and decent reviews, we decided on Seven Treasures Cantonese Cuisine at 2312 S Wentworth in the heart of Chinatown in Chicago. My taste buds were delighted that our goals were achieved this day, my diet plan – not so much, but with the Sprinkles Whisper-of-The-Day being “Jackpot” we scored free vanilla milk-chocolate cupcakes, had a watermelon italian ice at Mario’s, and I was able to try an egg roll made with peanut butter in it, and I must say it was very tasty, tasty enough to make me second guess the next time I’m craving an egg roll and now I’m going to have to decide between Chinatown Cafe and Seven Treasures.

With the day complete my plight is this: Have you ever had an egg roll with peanut butter in it?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Would You Ever “Be a Flirt” and “Raise Your Shirt”?

Sure, this plight mostly applies to the ladies, although I suppose dudes can partake in this as well, but as I was driving around the other day I was coming upon a truck, and the back of the truck was kind of dirty. That’s not highly unusual, but as I got closer I noticed some writing on the back of the truck, obviously done by hand, in the dirt of the truck. I figured it would just be the proverbial “Wash me,” or some other request for some cleanliness, but then the words started to appear: “Be a flirt, raise your shirt,” and I wondered how that was working out for the truck driver. The person somewhat fascinated with statistics in me then began to wonder if it does work well, what locations seem to be the “flirtiest,” and also thought that it might be an interested study for the trucker to partake in on his quest for topless women (I’m assuming he’s looking for the ladies to flirt, and not the men), thereby knowing he could request more hauling in a certain part of the country so that his handwritten instructions, in the dirt, on the back of his truck, could be best utilized.

Granted requests such as this are not that unusual, as seeing the truck also reminded me of the radio duo of “Opie and Anthony,” who promoted “W.O.W”, a.k.a. “Whip ’em Out Wednesdays” where the ladies were supposed to whip out their boobs to whomever had a “W.O.W.” sign prominently posted, and we have all heard stories of Mardi Gras in New Orleans, where flashing ta-tas for beads is the norm, but in the end I plight: Would you ever “Be a flirt” and “Raise your shirt”?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Should Led Zeppelin be Filed Under “L” or “Z”?

I didn’t watch Paul Ryan’s speech at the Republican National Convention, but as I was checking my Twitter feed while it was going on Phil Rosenthal (@phil_rosenthal) tweeted “Last time Zeppelin was mentioned at a GOP convention, it was an actual zeppelin.” to which @csupp replied and Phil retweeted “If Ryan’s playlist files Led Zeppelin under Z, he’s doing it wrong.” It was in response to Paul Ryan referencing the music on his iPod stating “My playlist starts with AC/DC and it ends with Zeppelin.”, which I suppose is correct if you reference Led Zeppelin as just Zeppelin, but then in my head I started obsessing over it. I checked my iPhone, and sure enough Led Zeppelin was filed under “L,” so I felt secure in my years of having a CD collection with my Zeppelin music filed under “L,” and then I wondered in my head “Maybe Paul Ryan doesn’t have any music after the letter “L”? But that can’t be right, I mean we know he likes Rage Against the Machine, but maybe he doesn’t include them on his iPod anymore after being put down by Tom Morello?

My obsession didn’t stop there. Nope, I then wondered “Who really is the first group on Mr. Ryan’s playlist?” Maybe he just didn’t want to seem soft and admit to an Abba song every once in a while, and then, of course, I obsessed “Since AC/DC is in all caps, does that make it come before Abba so he is right, anyway?” Then there is the truth about who the last group is on his iPod, I mean, it shouldn’t be Led Zeppelin, should it? Doesn’t the man have some ZZ Top, easily the last group on many a playlist, but maybe he’s a closet Zebrahead fan (that’s the second-to-last group on my playlist) and isn’t one for songs of sharp dressed men nor men with long beards, then I thought there was no way he was a Zebrahead fan, they of a catchy song called “Playmate of the Year.” And so, the important question to ask at the upcoming Ryan-Biden debate should be “Mr. Ryan, what really is the last group on your playlist?”, but for now I just have a plight: Should Led Zeppelin be filed under “L” or “Z”?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have You Ever Gotten Caught in a Speed Trap?

On my way to a client there is a construction zone with a daily speed trap, well, I suppose the better term might be “Construction Zone Traffic Enforcement Area,” that seems like shooting fish in a barrel for the police as I would say three out of the five days a week the police have already pulled someone over and are writing a ticket for, I’m assuming, speeding through the work zone. The thing is that it isn’t that crazy a work zone, just a simple crossover for some bridge reconstruction, reducing the traffic to one lane in each direction, at a reasonable 35 miles per hour, down from 45 MPH. However, I can see how people easily blow through it, as it does come off a traffic light, is at the bottom of hill, and totally lends itself to a perfect place for the police to sit, at the end of the construction zone by some traffic barricades, just picking off the speeding cars with a flick of a radar gun.

As I drive past every day, very much aware of the 35 MPH on my speedometer, it tends to always, for whatever reason, remind me of the only speeding ticket I ever received, years and years ago on a trip back to Chicago from my old homestead in Ohio, when I was ticketed by aircraft doing about 65 in a 55. The highway patrol had a nice set-up going, with I’m assuming an airplane overhead radioing down to the patrolmen on the ground, who, as cars were approaching a work zone and naturally slowing down, had men on the side of the road pretty much just pointing at every other car and directing them to pull over to the side of the road and get their comeuppance. I would say they had to have about 1,000 cars pulled over (okay, probably about 10), and it sucks bad enough getting a ticket, but it sucks even worse sitting there, waiting and watching officers just go from car to car, ticket book in hand, and knowing you really have no shot at getting out of your penalty for not obeying the speed limit. When the officer got to my car I was very congenial, already had my license and registration ready, nicely thanked the man for my “reminder” to follow the traffic laws, and drove away trying desperately to learn my lesson for the next four hours driving in my car.

With that is today’s daily plight: Have you ever gotten caught in a speed trap?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Like Howard Stern on America’s Got Talent?

First I will say that I am a little biased as I have always been a Howard Stern fan. Okay, maybe I haven’t always been a Howard Stern fan as when he first started hitting the airwaves I originally thought “Who is this blowhard on the radio? I don’t need to listen to his New York City crap when I’ve got our awesome radio dudes in Chicago!” And at the time we had some awesome radio dudes in Chicago. Slowly, though, their shows got cut, and I would occasionally check in with Howard’s show, then check in a little more, than listen every day, then order Sirius Satellite radio specifically because Howard went there, and then be sad when he scaled back his show. Alas, though, I have turned into a fan, and yes, like most fans, wish he would work seven days a week and never take a vacation, but so be it.

In any case, knowing how he was on his radio show I always felt he would make a great judge on a reality TV show, mostly because as I would listen to him comment about things like “American Idol” and “America’s Got Talent” on his radio show, even if he didn’t care for a particular singer nor act, he always had a valid opinion and could relate it to the entertainment world. With that I was excited to hear he was coming to “America’s Got Talent,” although I know there would be some blow-back from people whom all they knew him for were stories of fart jokes and interviews with porn stars, yet there he was, on the judge’s table next to Sharon Osbourne, able to throw down against Howie Mandel and showing a general concern for contestants yet still being able to have fun with them. He is that guy who isn’t afraid to hold back, will tell a person like it is, and just as important, explain that their act is good, just not great enough, or that he knows in the theater the act is great, but it probably won’t translate to us, the viewer at home. He does all of this without a British accent, and he brought back “Horse” a few weeks ago on the “Judges” Choice” show, a man who has an immeasurable talent of being able to take a shot in the nuts over and over again, and who can’t appreciate that?

That brings me to today’s daily plight: Do you like Howard Stern on “America’s Got Talent?”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Count Your Money After Getting It From an ATM?

I vaguely remember the first time I used an ATM (I shall do my best not to call it an ATM machine during this plight, as then I am really calling it an Automated Teller Machine machine, which drives me crazy when people do that, but I digress). It was around 1985, and I was given my first ATM card by my parents so that they could put money in an account for me, and I could easily withdraw it while I was at college. The ATM has come a long way since those early machines, okay, now that I think about it, not really. I remember the machine I used, it was in the Commons building at Illinois Institute of Technology, and as you would do today you would put in your card, punch in your PIN (Which should never be called a PIN number, thereby calling it a Personal Identification Number number), and out would spew your cash. About the only difference between then and now was that to make a deposit you had to put your checks or money in an envelope, whereas now the newer ATM’s don’t need an envelope when you make a deposit.

Back then then geek in me always dreamed things would change with the ATM, like instead of needing a card and a PIN they would have retina scans to identify you, but alas, we are still tied down with that ATM card, however, the geek in me also generally trusted the machine to give me the right amount of moolah, and I also remember that I don’t think I even counted my money when I made a withdrawal. The reason I thought about this is that the other day I re-noticed my wife taking money out of an ATM and then counting it, and it occurred to me that it was something I never really did. I guess I always figured what would I do if the amount was wrong? Sure, the ATM’s have those cameras on them, so should I fan out the money if front of the camera while mouthing “Hey, you didn’t give me all of my money!”, and then call the bank hoping that they believed me that the machine screwed up? I suppose if there was an epic fail in the amount of money the machine dispensed I would try to do something about it, but seriously, if the machine shorted me a twenty-spot, would I really take the time to call the bank? Sadly, probably not.

So that leads me to today’s plight: Do you count your money after getting it from an ATM?

Will You Watch Any of the Republican Convention Coverage?

It’s finally here, the days we’ve been waiting for – Convention time! Fine. For most of us it’s not really the days we’ve been waiting for, but up first are the Republicans who will be spouting how their plan, even though they most likely won’t really detail a plan, will be the greatest thing for America, to be followed shortly by the Democrats who will be spouting how their plan, even though they most likely won’t really detail a plan, either, will be the greatest thing for America. There will be a lot of speeches, most during times when no one cares, and most by people no one really cares about nor will most people pay attention to because they will be during the day, but there has been some debate about the lack of coverage of Mrs. Romney’s speech until it was announced her speech was being moved so that the networks would carry it, and most still wonder if there will be an appearance by Donald Trump, especially now that Mitt opened up the birther debate with some off-handed remarks not “meant” to open up the birther debate again.

Most of the networks are limiting their convention coverage to their respective cable news outlets, dedicating a whopping one hour a night to the main networks coverage after most kids should be in bed (10PM on the east coast) either under the guise that Americans don’t care enough and would rather watch Howard Stern on “America’s Got Talent” or that you can find the rest of the coverage elsewhere, but mostly that decision is probably about ratings (and thereby money) and that wacky “fair time” rule about candidate coverage.

I still don’t know if I’ll watch any of the coverage, I mean, there is “America’s Got Talent” and “Big Brother” to worry about, and with it being at 9PM my time, I’ll be getting ready for bed myself, but as I think about it, I’ll probably do my duty, try to stay informed, and maybe hear what Mitt Romney has to say, and that leads me to my daily plight: Will you watch any of the Republican Convention Coverage?

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do you find the engagement of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger an odd pairing?

In the entertainment world in the past couple of days there was no bigger story than the engagement of Avril Lavigne to Chad Kroeger. Fine, there were probably bigger stories, but for a couple of days on Google Trends Avril Lavigne was way up there in the trending race, and it turns out this was the reason why. As a fan of teen, girl pop music, I’ve always liked the musical stylings of Avril, and I’ll also admit that you can catch me singing along to a Nickelback song, but I must say that I find this a little bit of an odd pairing, although who am I to judge their being ten years apart in age, but I guess since they are both Canadian they have that going for them and hopefully a lifetime of wedded bliss.

That leads me to this daily plight: Do you find the engagement of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger an odd pairing?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Does God Hate Politicians?

Hurricane Isaac is barreling down on the Gulf of Mexico as I type this, and since the Republican National Convention is in Tampa next week, instead of the focus being on the things that really matter to most of the rest of the nation, it’s mostly about how the hurricane will impact the Convention. So be it, but you knew it would only be a matter of time before someone “important” would state that with the hurricane set to disrupt the Convention, well, it was God showing his displeasure with the Republican Party. This time is was Congressman Danny Davis from my greatly mis-managed state of Illinois, and although he sort of says it in a joking matter (here’s a link where you can find the audio), you have to figure there is a part of him that believes it, and that there are many more God-fearing folks who believe the same thing.  He states, “Well, it means that the gods are favoring Democrats. Not that we wish any kind of difficulty in terms of the weather. But you know you take the bitter with the sweet. And if you can get a little sweetness without manufacturing it, that’s pretty good.” The thing is that he said a day or so ago, and now it looks like the hurricane is heading to Mobile, Alabama and will skirt around Tampa, so does that mean God, or “the Gods” as he stated, had a change of heart?

On the Roe & Roeper show here in Chicago on WLS-AM, they were commenting on this, and also mentioned that the storm also has a chance to park on top of the Democratic Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, so that instead of just the Republicans, well, God hates all politicians. I began to wonder if that might be true, in a joking way in my head, which leads me to my daily plight: Does God hate politicians?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do You Regularly Use a Napkin?

I guess I’m sort of a Neanderthal sometimes as I’m not a napkin kind of guy. I mean I know how to use one, will properly place it in my lap when I go to a fancy restaurant, and if I’m eating something generally messy like ribs or chicken wings I’ll have one nearby, but I just rarely find the need for a napkin, and at times it seems to drive my wife crazy. I’m not sure when it started, and for the life of me I seem to recall that my family wasn’t much of napkin kind of family, either. The table would be nicely set with some CorningWare that had this pretty, green flower patter around the edges, and we had the appropriate silverware for the meal, but napkins were nowhere to be found next to the plate, there was just a napkin holder nearby in case there was some kind of loose food issue. Somehow, someway, I’m just generally a clean eater, or at least I just think so.

My wife does her best to make me more refined, but more often than not she’ll catch herself as she’s asking, “Do you need a napk….?”, stopping to realize I’ve already eaten the ice cream and a napkin would just be a waste of landfill space. Sometimes, however, I humor her and ask for one and grin.  Which leads me to today’s plight: Do you regularly use a napkin when you eat?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!