Author: Andy Labis

Down With Love

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:41 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Down With Love
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Renée Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, David Hyde Pierce, Sarah Paulson, Tony Randall, Peter Spruyt
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: Little girls might like it, but there’s still some sex things that might be better for teens.
Date Movie: She’ll drag you along and still not like it.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s a remake of a famous talking on the phone scene from the “Pillow Talk” days, but this one is pretty dirty.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: Nah.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Peyton Reed

Alright, I’m not one to know exactly what people think when they chose a film to be in, but you have to wonder if Ewan McGregor longed for his “Moulin Rouge” days and Renee Zellweger longed for her “Chicago” days, looking at “Down With Love” and saying “I get to sing again. Great! Oh, by the way, what’s the story about?” It’s not that “Down With Love” is a horrible film, and I can like a romantic comedy with the best of them, but after revealing the giant plot twist, and giving an ending that would have really showed the empowering of women, the movie went back to being a cookie-cutter romance and finished exactly how you would think it would.

Pretty much here’s how the story goes. Zellweger plays Barbara Novak. She’s just written a book telling women how to control their man. McGregor plays Catcher Block, a womanizing writer able to woo women at a single look. Novak is set to have an interview with Block, but Block keeps blowing her off opting for romantic rendezvous with a variety of women. As such, Novak finds out why Catcher keeps missing their appointments and vows not to speak with him. Catcher’s problem, and that of most of the male population, is that Barbara’s book, titled ‘Down With Love’, is becoming a big hit and women are now starting to withhold sex from their men.

Catcher now knows that the only way to recharge his sex life is to prove the book a fraud, that women can’t live without love, and the only way to do this is to get Barbara to fall in love. Since Barbara has never actually met Catcher, he decides to give himself the name “Zip Martin,” pose as an astronaut, and woo Barbara, and woo he does. Wining and dining, theatre and ballgames, Catcher is doing his best to get Barbara to fall in love with Zip. Yea, yea, yea, in the meantime Catcher is really falling in love with Barbara. Will Barbara find out Catcher’s plan before he can expose her? Will Catcher give up his plan to write the expose because he loves Barbara? Will there be some convoluted plot twist that could have led to a great ending? Will the filmmakers not end the movie at that great ending point and instead keep the movie going with Catcher groveling for Barbara to forgive him? It is for the last question that I just gave up on the movie and dropped it a star.

They say “Down With Love” is supposed to bring back the sex comedies that were present in the 60’s, specifically the movie “Pillow Talk.” The people making the movie seemed to have forgotten to do the math. Let’s see, “Pillow Talk” came out around 1960. Let’s say that most of the people who saw the movie were older than 20. Well, that makes most of the people who could relate to the movie over 60. I’m just guessing that for the most part your typical romantic comedy audience is a female (dragging her boyfriend kicking and screaming), between the ages of 20 to 45. How many of them have seen the movie “Pillow Talk”, let alone know it exists? So, I’m thinking a marketing plan of “Bringing back the sex comedies of the 60’s” really doesn’t relate. What does relate is a good romantic comedy, specifically the comedy part. That’s what gets one dudette to go see it, have her tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and all of a sudden you’ve got a hit. There just doesn’t seem to be a reason for anyone to tell two friends to see this movie.

The story fell short, sure McGregor and Zellweger looked the role of the 60’s movie star, but other than some people who haven’t remodeled their kitchens in forty years, who wants to see a romantic comedy set in the 60’s? The bright spot in this movie was the neurotic Peter (David Hyde Pierce), who seemed to be the only comic relief in a movie that really didn’t have potential for any else. Oh well.

Had the movie ended where I thought it should have, I would have stretched and given “Down With Love” 2 ½ stars, but with the cookie-cutter ending I’m knocking this one down to 1 ½ stars out of 5. It just falls short on too many levels.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Machine Gun Preacher

Below is an excerpt from The Dude on the Right’s full review of “Machine Gun Preacher.” Yup, there’s a lot of violence and badness happening in the Sudan, and Sam Childers is trying to do something about it…

…There isn’t a lot very pretty about this movie, only that no matter where they are, no matter the atrocities around them, sometimes the joy of children can bring light to the darkest days. It gives a brutal look, and I mean brutal, at the atrocities occurring in the Sudan, as well as intertwines a movie about a man, Sam, who is torn between his life in the safety of the United States with his wife and daughter or trying to help the innocents of a nation…

Machine Gun Preacher

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:09 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Machine Gun Preacher
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Gerard Butler, Michelle Monaghan
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: 20th Century Fox Home Entertainmnet
Release Date: June 5, 2012
Kiddie Movie: Lots of brutal violence – send them to bed!
Date Movie: She might get frightened and hold you.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s some getting it on but this one is R for the violence.
Gratuitous Violence: Did I mention the brutal violence yet?
Action: Not really any action in this one, just gunfights.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: When the little boy shows Sam he might be going down the wrong life road at his orphanage.
Memorable Quote: Lynn to Sam: “Now get off your butt, stop your crying, and build it again.”
Directed By: Marc Forster
Cool things about the Blu-ray: Nothing, really. There is a weirdly added “Making the Music” feature, and a short segement with MarcForster explaining how he made the movie.

When “Machine Gun Preacher” was hitting theaters I heard a couple of interviews, heard the synopsis, and heard a couple of people on the radio that liked the movie, especially Gerard Butler’s portrayal of Sam Childers, and sort of wanted to see the movie for myself even if most of the normal reviewers weren’t so kind. It came and went out of the theater, and I missed the chance on the big screen so when the Blu-ray showed up for me to review, I was excited to see it – My wife, not so much. Violent movies aren’t really her cup of tea, so I watched “Machine Gun Preacher” on my own, and most critics be damned, me, I really liked it.

Let’s get to the story…

The movie is based on the life of Sam Childers, a man whose life was heading down the wrong path, filled with drugs, alcohol, and biker gangs, and a wife, Lynn (Michelle Monaghan in the movie), who started as a stripper but then found God. Sam’s (in the movie played by Gerard Butler) life is about to explode in total badness until he, too, finds God while attending church with his wife. He also hears the story of life in the Africa, how they need help with even the most basic of necessities, and finds himself first in Uganda with the missionaries, building homes for the refugees, but Sudan is calling him, and against the advice of many he travels to the land run by Joseph Kony and the LRA, finding a world of unspeakable horror, and feels he is called to build an orphanage in direct competition with the atrocities of Kony and his men, and with the help of his wife, founding and running the Angels of East Africa organization.

There isn’t a lot very pretty about this movie, only that no matter where they are, no matter the atrocities around them, sometimes the joy of children can bring light to the darkest days. It gives a brutal look, and I mean brutal, at the atrocities occurring in the Sudan, as well as intertwines a movie about a man, Sam, who is torn between his life in the safety of the United States with his wife and daughter or trying to help the innocents of a nation, and as we see the movie progress, he doesn’t do that well on the home front for awhile, but thankfully Lynn is a strong woman and Sam figures it out.

We hear the horror stories of things going on in the Sudan, but you won’t see most of it on TV, although you might see a viral video about it, and sure, “Machine Gun Preacher” is a movie adaptation of Sam Childers’ life and the brutalities happening in the Sudan, and maybe I’m totally wrong, but most of it seems scarily true to form, from villages being burned to the ground (including the people inside), and the journey of one man on his own quest for redemption.

I found Gerard Butler awesome in his role, delicately working the transformation from biker gang dude to, well, still a dude with a mean streak but now using it for good. A nurse warns him that Joseph Kony started recruiting his followers in much the same way Sam was starting to do, but thankfully the children help keep Sam on the path of being a better man.

I really liked the movie, so much so I give it 4 stars out of 5. There is a lot of brutal violence, but then again, a movie telling of the atrocities in the Sudan couldn’t really portray the story without it.

Blu-ray and DVD-wise there is an extra about “Making the Music” for “Machine Gun Preacher”, which I found an odd addition, especially since I’m thinking there aren’t too many people getting this movie for the music, and even on the Blu-ray there isn’t much else, just an added extra with Marc Forster, the Producer/Director of the movie, who pretty much tells you everything you would think of about the making of the movie.  Get this Blu-ray for how awesome it looks, even the violence, on your big screen, and to appreciate the acting of Gerard Butler a little more.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Doom

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:40 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Doom
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, but you might know him better as The Rock, and now that he has secured the name from the wrestling folks, I suppose I’ll just start calling him The Rock now, and for this one, and with all due respect to the rest of the actors, it’s really all about The Rock, and if I had made the movie, he would have been, pretty much, the only actor.
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: For goodness sake, leave them at home.
Date Movie: For goodness sake, leave her at home.
Gratuitous Sex: It might have added a star if Rosamund got naked.
Gratuitous Violence: I will say the violence was pretty gratuitous.
Action: It was supposed to be scary, but it wasn’t.
Laughs: Only when there weren’t supposed to be any.
Memorable Scene: Rosamund did look good as it didn’t look like she was wearing a bra and it was a little cold on the set at times.
Memorable Quote: Absolutely none.
Directed By: Andrzej Bartkowiak

I couldn’t believe I was laughing, but there I was, watching “Doom,” and rather than being held spellbound, rather than sitting on the edge of my seat afraid of what was around the corner, I was just laughing. It wasn’t that the movie was a comedy, but it all just kind of piled on every cliché about an action movie that the movie just became funny for me. And that is not what I wanted.

Pretty much the movie starts trying to follow the video game story of “Doom,” namely there has been some kind of incident at a science lab on Mars. Enter who are supposed to be our heroes, namely Sarge (The Rock), Reaper (Karl Urban), Destroyer (DeObia Oparei), Goat (Ben Daniels), Duke (Raz Adoti), Portman (Richard Brake), and The Kid (Al Weaver). There is also a good scientist-doctor, who’s good-looking, too, along for the ride, namely Samantha Grimm (Rosamund Pike). Their mission: To save the trapped scientists, retrieve any scientific data, and rid the facility of the menace that is terrorizing it. But what is terrorizing the facility? Like the game, it seems there has been some weird sciencing going on over on Mars, and now there are these mutants hell bent on infecting or killing anything that isn’t a mutant. So, our bunch of warriors quickly find out that it’s not a disgruntled employee wreaking havoc, and eventually the good doctor fills who is left in what might be going on after Sarge loses most of his crew. Now it’s up to Sarge and the few men left, along with the doctor, to save the day. And then, just when you thought the movie was pretty stupid to begin with up to this point, it takes a horrible turn, which, I won’t really ruin for you if you see the film, but all I could think at the climactic battle was how dumb The Rock looked as a giant scorpion in “The Mummy Returns,” and how dorky he seemed in this ending, which is too bad because other than his role in “The Mummy Returns,” I’ve been enjoying his career.

Anyway, there was a pretty cool scene, kind of an homage to the video game, as for a couple of minute the action is in the first person shooter mode, but unlike when I was playing the game, this didn’t scare me at all.

Look, I loved the video game. It was creepy, there were times when it actually scared me, but it took the player to levels that were really supernatural, and sadly, the movie didn’t do any of this for me, and in all honesty, I don’t think it could. For the movie, I suppose, they had to have some sort of storyline, when, for the most part, although “Doom” the game does have a story, it really is just about shooting things and finding things and ways to continue to the next level.

They did do a nice job recreating the look of the video game, but that’s not enough, and really, for the game, snappy dialogue really wasn’t necessary. For the movie, the dialogue is pretty much useless also, mostly because it is so bad.

I wanted this movie to be good, but as I sat through it, I realized it had no chance. Some video games have a chance to be made into movies, games more like the Tomb Raider series, but the only way “Doom” would have worked, at least for me, is if they pretty much just followed a walk-thru of the game, let it be one dude like the game, in this case Sarge, having to kill lots of mutants and find clues along the way, sometimes finding a doctor who might give him some help, but this movie lost it in trying to be, well, a movie, instead of a video game.

For “Doom,” it’s 1 star out of 5. I’m so disappointed.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Disturbia

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:44 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Disturbia
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, David Morse, Sarah Roemer, Carrie-Anne Moss
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: It’s meant for the teens. Keep the little ones at home.
Date Movie: Only if she likes teen thrillers.
Gratuitous Sex: Just bathing suits.
Gratuitous Violence: Sadly not gratuitous.
Action: Just running and screaming.
Laughs: There are some chuckles.
Memorable Scene: When Kale gets back at his “ding-dong-ditch” hooligans.
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: D.J. Caruso

All I have to say is “Damn you filmmakers! Damn you for taking a movie that had potential if it were rated ‘R,’ and taking out all of the ‘what would have been great stuff’ out so that it ended up PG-13.” Such is my end take on “Disturbia.”

“Disturbia” gives us Shia LeBeouf as Kale. He seems to be a good kid and actually prefers to go fishing with his dad rather than hanging with his friends. Sadly dad ends up dead and Kale is screwed up. After punching his Spanish teacher (who so deserved to get punched), Kale finds himself under house arrest, with an ankle bracelet, and mom (Carrie-Anne Moss) further punishes him by canceling both his X-Box and iTunes subscriptions. Tired of gluing Twinkies together, Kale starts spying on the neighbors, especially the new neighbor-girl Ashley (Sarah Romer).

But strange things are afoot in Disturbia Lane, namely there might be a serial killer living in the neighborhood and after Kale’s buddy Ronnie (Aaron Yoo) and Ashley come on board, it’s time for our young sleuths to investigate. But the might-be killer, Mr. Turner (David Morse in super, creepy form) is on to our meddling kids, and subtly at times, but not-so-subtly at other times, lets the would-be detectives know that he knows that that are watching him, and that they should know that he is watching them.

So, yea, a couple of times Kale goes outside the confinements of his house arrest and the cops come, and they even almost go along with his story about his neighbor being a killer, but of course there is something else dead in the bloody tarp, and Mr. Turner is free for a little while longer.

Can Kale save Ashley and Ronnie and Mom? Of course he can. What kind of uplifting movie would this be if he didn’t? But it’s not really meant to be an uplifting movie, it’s supposed to be a thriller, and I suppose, in the end, it’s not bad, as long as you suspend a little disbelief of your own.

Look, the trailers pretty much give a lot of this movie away and that’s too bad. We know Kale goes outside of his “safe” zone. We know the new girl next door plays with his affections. We know the neighbor is creepy and a killer. And since “Disturbia” isn’t rated “R” it is easy to guess that things will end up happy, that Ashley won’t get naked (though she is hot in her bathing suit), and that the murdering and slashing will be boring.

Now that previous paragraph isn’t meant to say the movie sucks, because I actually liked “Disturbia” once things got rolling. The problem I really had with the movie was it took too long to get there. We get the extended set-up that Kale is a mixed-up kid: Got it. We get the extended set-up that the hot, new girl moves in and that Kale likes her: Got it. We get the extended set-up that Kale starts spying on the neighborhood: Got it. And it all takes a little too long until creepy neighbor dude is forced to play his hand, and Kale saves the day. Again, got it.

“Disturbia” probably won’t do much for you if you are an adult because this movie has been PG-13’d down for the, well, PG-13 crowd. With some easy tweaks this could have really been a movie that played for everyone, but since I haven’t grown up, well, I guess I still liked it. It’s 3 stars out of 5, but “Disturbia” could have been a 5 star thriller if they didn’t make it for the teen folks.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Die Another Day

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:13 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Die Another Day
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Judi Dench, John Cleese, Madonna
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: MGM Pictures
Release Date: 2002
Directed By: Lee Tamahori

Honestly, does it really even matter what I put here for a preview. All I’ve really been able to find out is that James Bond is fighting bad people in Korea and Iceland. It’s got Halle Berry, I hope it’s rated R so that Halle might get naked and the violence will be better, but this looks to be your typical Bond flick where he gets the ladies, has cool cars and gadgets, and always looks dapper in his tuxedo.

I’ll catch this one no matter what I hear because I’m a fan of James Bond, and prefer my martinis shaken, not stirred.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Devil Wears Prada

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:46 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Devil Wears Prada
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, Emily Blunt
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2006
Kiddie Movie: Younger girls, okay. Younger boys, only if they’ve hit puberty.
Date Movie: It’s a dudette flick, with some things dudes might like.
Gratuitous Sex: Anne Hathaway in a nice bra and models in skimpy outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few chuckles.
Memorable Scene: Miranda’s diatribe to Andy about the trickle down of high fashion and how it ends up being the color of Andy’s boring sweater.
Memorable Quote: Miranda’s constantly dismissive “That’s all.”
Directed By: David Frankel

I really liked “The Devil Wears Prada.” There, I said it. It’s out of the way. I’m a guy and I really liked “The Devil Wears Prada.” But before I get to my reasons why, let me give you a quick rundown of the movie…

Anne Hathaway is Andrea, a.k.a. Andy. She’s fresh out of college and living in sin with her boyfriend, Nate (Adrian Grenier), in New York City. Andy wants to be a writer, but in the meantime she just needs a job and finds herself in an interview at Runway, a super-de-duper fashion magazine with Miranda Frost (Meryl Streep) at the helm. From the get-go we instantly find that Miranda is a tyrant of a boss, yet everyone still wants to work for her because working, and doing a decent job for Runway, and more important, a decent job for Miranda, can lead to more advancement opportunities than might be humanly possible. Miranda sees something in Andy that Andy doesn’t even realize she has, and suddenly Andy finds herself as the Second Assistant to one of the most important women in fashion. And Andy has a lot to learn, and in about an hour of a movie, she learns it all.

At first Andy is content with her, at least in the fashion world, bland clothing, but she quickly learns the importance of fashion, in even her bland life. Andy also learns that some people honestly think they should be able to be flown out of Florida when a hurricane is bearing down on the area, and it will be your fault because you couldn’t find a pilot with a plane willing to fly in deadly weather. And Andy’s lessons continue to come, like looking good on the outside can help you look good on the inside, especially when your bra is a little more naughty looking. Andy keeps learning things, eventually finding out she has become more similar to Miranda than she ever wanted to be. Life’s lessons are learned for Andy, she realizes the woman she wants to be, and Miranda, in the end, seems proud of Andy, even though Miranda seems to know that she is the bitch she will always be.

There is so much in this movie that I don’t want to give away, but as a dude, seeing what portrays itself as a dudette-flick, I have to give some things away, so let me get down to reasons why I really liked “The Devil Wears Prada.” Movie story aside, performances aside, this movie is about fashion, and the dudettes in this movie, from Andrea to Miranda, are smoking hot, especially in their fashion ways. Fine, Miranda is an older dudette, but she looks fine, and me being me, Andrea was still my type when she was dressing in lowly fashions, even more my type in high fashion, and all of the other dudettes were hot because they always dressed their part. Then there was the story. Andrea is looking for a job as a journalist – that is what she has always done, but the important thing to her is that she has always done her job well. At Runway she’s not a journalist, but the “pride in her job” thing hits her square in the head in one scene, and she realizes she needs to become immersed in the job to do it well because she knows she can, and she does. But Andrea, at first, doesn’t realize the sacrifices she is making in her personal life, and by the end of the movie, she loves the world she is in, but doesn’t love the world she has to be in to be there. Wow, that’s sort of deep. The other side of this coin is Miranda. As a boss she is a terror, but if you can adapt, you live with it because she is at the top of the ladder, and if you want to get there, she is one of them to learn from, at least in the business she is in. But in the end, hot dudettes and the story aside, this movie was about performances, and for me it was perfectly cast, and I will keep it to the main three folks, Miranda, Andy, and Nigel, mostly because otherwise this review will go on way too long.

Starting with Nigel, played by Stanley Tucci, he if sort of the comic element in the movie, but really he deals with Miranda because he knows how to, does a fantastic job at his job, and sees that his platform to independence will come by his working at Runway. But he has a soft spot for Andy and explains to her the inner workings of life at a fashion magazine, and Andy lets him help her to learn the ins and outs. In a sort of touching scene, you can see how proud Nigel is of his student when she has lost some weight and learned how to dress herself in the world she has found herself in. Next up is Anne Hathaway as Andrea/Andy. She comes into the world kind of homely, realizes what she needs to do in order to do her job well, and learns that she has two paths left in her world at one time: Become the next Miranda, or go back to being a journalist. Whatever path she chooses, she sure looked fantastic in the high-fashion clothes.

But the reason to see “The Devil Wears Prada,” and nothing against everyone else in the film, comes down to Meryl Streep as Miranda. Miranda is a bitch, and you get the sense that she really knows she is, yet she doesn’t care because in the world she is in, she can’t afford not to be, and Meryl Streep plays this to the top of the bitch level. She hires Andy yet cuts her down at any moment she can, she has her staff, yet cuts them down at any moment she can, and even when the movie gets her to a point where you think Miranda might have human emotions, she quickly gets rid of them and gets right back to business. This is what she does, and she knows it. But there were two scenes that typified Miranda’s character. The first is a fantastic explanation to Andy about the color of Andy’s sort of plain-jane sweater after Andy can’t tell the difference between two high-fashion belts, and the other scene is when Miranda reveals to Andy that as disgusted as Andy was with an action of Miranda’s, that Andy, in fact, had done the same thing. Meryl Streep accomplished these points with utter perfection, and I can’t see many other slightly older actresses being able to pull it off. I have a new-found appreciation for the actress that is Meryl Streep, especially between this movie and the recent “A Prairie Home Companion.”

I can’t give you a hint if you will like “The Devil Wears Prada” for this review because there are way too many elements that might like lead you to liking this movie. If you like a hard-ass boss, Meryl Streep is the hardest-ass I’ve seen in a while as Miranda. If you like a movie about finding what is important in your life, Anne Hathaway does a great job at the dudette who finds out she is changing into someone she doesn’t really want to be. If you like a movie with hot dudettes, and just want to stare for most of the movie, this one’s not bad either.

Look, this movie review has gotten way too long already, so I’m just going to say again that I really liked “The Devil Wears Prada.” With that, it’s 4 stars out of 5. Whether it is an inspirational story, a story about a pain in the ass boss, or a movie with hot dudettes, see it for what it’s worth and enjoy it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Deuces Wild

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Deuces Wild
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Stephen Dorff, Brad Renfro, Fairuza Balk, Norman Reedus, Frankie Muniz, Vincent Pastore, Deborah Harry, Drea DeMatteo, Johnny Knoxville
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: MGM
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: Please leave them at home.
Date Movie: Leave her at home.
Gratuitous Sex: Some bra action and dry humping.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of it.
Action: Not really action.
Laughs: The way things are so overblown.
Memorable Scene: The ending was good.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Scott Kalvert

At least the ending of “Deuces Wild” didn’t let me down. The rest of the movie pretty much did.

Here’s the basic story: It’s the 50’s when street gangs ruled Brooklyn. When his brother died of a heroine overdose, Leon (Stephen Dorf) vowed that junk would never be sold on his street, so he formed the Deuces, a gang to protect their turf. Along with his other brother, Bobby (Brad Renfro), the Deuces have things pretty secure, up until the boys dump some cinder blocks on the car of a rival. Fritzy (Matt Dillon), he’s supposed to be the mob guy who really runs the neighborhood, isn’t happy about the cinder blocks and gives Leon a verbal scolding, warning him to let things be.

In the meantime, Marco (Norman Reedus) is getting ready to be let out of jail. Why do we care about Marco? In actuality, I didn’t, but he was the dude who sold Leon’s brother the junk and got sent to the slammer for three years, supposedly tipped to the cops by Leon. Marco wants Leon dead, but Fritzy tells him to play nice, just set up his heroin operation, and everything will be okay.

Well, if Fritzy really was a mob guy you’d think Marco would listen to him. Nope. Marco goes on his own spree, terrorizing the neighborhood with his gang, and doing everything he can to get Leon’s goat so Leon will fight him and Marco can get his revenge.

And, oh yea, there’s a love story with Bobby and Annie (Fairuza Balk), the sister of one of the guys who sold the brother the heroine that killed him. Leon thinks Bobby shouldn’t see her, that she’s the enemy, and yea, you get that whole Romeo and Juliet crap.

Blah, blah, blah… The gangs fight, people die, and no one really lives happily ever after.

So what didn’t I like about “Deuces Wild?” For one it seemed like everyone just got out of the James T. Kirk School of Overacting. Sure, there was an attitude the street gangs had back then, but in the movie the stereotypes were so over-blown that it actually became a nuisance. Now I didn’t have a problem with the underlying story of Marco seeking revenge on Leon, but don’t make things so obvious as Leon’s girl, Betsy (Drea de Matteo), storming out of Leon’s apartment, saying she doesn’t need him to walk her home, and then Marco going after her. But what was the worst thing for me was the Fritzy character. I had no belief that this dude actually had any control over the neighborhood. Leon didn’t listen to him, neither did Marco, and in all honesty, as much as the rest of the cast sort of fit their overblown roles, Matt Dillon didn’t even make it close to being a mob boss.

In the end it’s 1 ½ star out of 5 for “Deuces Wild.” Street gangs fought, that’s what they did. We didn’t need a bad movie to tell us that. Wait for cable to watch this one. Then again, check the channel listings to make sure something better isn’t on.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dawn of the Dead

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:40 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dawn of the Dead
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Mikhi Phifer
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2004
Directed By: Zack Snyder

Do we really need a remake of this movie? I guess we’ll see if they can improve on the original, but here’s the story in a nutshell.

A strange plague has taken over the land and now corpses walk around looking for humans to eat their brains, suck their blood, and pretty much just kill them. So now the dead become zombies themselves and humanity might all be lost. As things go bad, a group of people find themselves in the shelter of the local mall, but soon the zombies realize the last bastion of humanity is trying on clothes at The Gap. So the zombies try to break in, our saviors for humanity try to keep them out, they realize their only hope is to make a run for it and get to remote island, I guess hoping that the zombies don’t know how to paddle a boat.

We’ll see what else it coming out this weekend, but this isn’t high on my list of movies to catch. Who knows, it might be fun and have some decent quality kills, or at least some living nudity.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Duplicity

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:05 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Duplicity
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Julia Roberts, Clive Owen
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Home Entertainment
Release Date: 2009
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored. Really bored.
Date Movie: My BFF liked the story but thought it was too long.
Gratuitous Sex: Julia Roberts getting naked would have been shocking, and there is an almost side shot, and they are romantic, but nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Nope.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: The ending is supposed to be shocking, but by then I was just bored.
Memorable Quote: Nothing.
Directed By: Tony Gilroy

DVD Review
Two words can describe “Duplicity,” and those two words are simply, “Too long.”

Let’s start with the story…

In “Duplicity” we get two government agents, Ray (Clive Owen) and Claire (Julia Roberts). As it takes too long to develop, we eventually discover that Ray and Claire are disgruntled with the low-payingness of government work and realize that if they went into the private sector that they can use their spying skills to make some money. Eventually we figure out what we think is going on, namely that Ray and Claire have infiltrated two different corporate “intelligence” divisions, looking to spy on the rival corporation. But, in the case of Ray and Claire, they are looking to steal some corporate secrets and sell them to the highest bidder, and they think they have found their mark.

However, for our couple, their relationship is both business and personal, as they discovered with their first meeting that they have a sexual chemistry and as their history moves on, they have to covertly hook back up to keep things going. As the movie progresses we are treated to current time, to flash-backs, to wondering why this is happening again but in a different situation, to finally getting the big reveal that by the time it comes just seems to be a let-down. Also during it all we get the simple plot of if Ray and Claire can actually trust the other person not to screw them over.

As a basic movie I loved the premise dealing with corporate espionage, the two characters, Ray and Claire using their history as spies to infiltrate and steal corporate secrets, and they looked good together where you could almost believe the chemistry between the two of them. The problem comes in where the movie just continued to keep flipping the plot to keep trying to confuse you, the viewer, so that, as I said, at the end you just don’t care who is stealing what from whom.

I liked Julia Roberts in her role, Clive Owen was good, and I always love Paul Giamatti, but “Duplicity” really doesn’t need 2 hours to drag us through plot twist followed by plot twist followed by plot twist to get us to the eventual ending. Had the story been buttoned up to a little over an hour and a half I could have kept with it, but as I watching the DVD on the couch with my BFF, all I kept thinking about, an hour into the movie, was “where in the hell is this going” and “I wish I had my laptop so I could check my Facebook page.” It’s 2 stars out of 5 for “Duplicity” because it did trick me with the eventual ending, but by then it just seemed like such a waste of time.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!