Author: Andy Labis

War Horse

Below is an excerpt from The Dude on the Right’s full review of “War Horse.” It was almost a wash-out, especially for his wife, but things turned out alright, even a little weepy…

…I was a little worried when my wife and I started watching “War Horse” because, after about the first five minutes, as they were setting up the relationship between Joey (the horse) and Albert (Jeremy Irvine), my wife turns to me and says sarcastically, “Oh, this is riveting.” I could tell she was bored, and there was over two hours of the movie left to go.  Thankfully things got much better….

War Horse

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:26 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

War Horse
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jeremy Irvine, Peter Mullan, Emily Watson, David Thewlis, A Lot of Horses
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment
Release Date: April 3, 2012
Kiddie Movie: Not too young even if they like horses, most of the story revolves around WWI after all.
Date Movie: My wife liked it and snuggled. It’s a winner.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: You do get some war scenes that showed the brutalness of trench warfare.
Action: The horse runs a lot.
Laughs: A few chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The scene where Joey ends up entangled in barbed wire started brutal and ended beautifullly, and all I could kept thinking about during it was the song Belleau Wood” from Garth Brooks.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Steven Spielberg
Cool things about the Blu-ray: Lots of extras on how the film was made makes the combo pack a film-lover’s dream, especially since it skips the usually useless stuff like deleted scenes and a gag reel.

I was a little worried when my wife and I started watching “War Horse” because, after about the first five minutes, as they were setting up the relationship between Joey (the horse) and Albert (Jeremy Irvine), my wife turns to me and says sarcastically, “Oh, this is riveting.” I could tell she was bored, and there was over two hours of the movie left to go.  Thankfully things got much better.

“War Horse” takes us back to the early 1900’s, as World War I was about to break, horses were used to plow the fields, and you read books made out of paper by candlelight.  Young Albert sees a horse being born, and although not the greatest build of a work horse, there is a bond formed between Joey and Albert, much like most people would form to their pet dog, but the war is now here, and in those days horses were used for everything, from transporting troops and the wounded, to pulling the giant cannons, and the best horses were rounded up for use in the war. Joey was now gone, on his way to war, and Albert was sad.

So, we get the story of Joey, a horse that doesn’t look like the strongest but has the heart of a thousand horses and touches lots of life’s in many way.  We see Joey in battle, developing bond with a giant of a horse that most everyone thinks is stronger, helping a young girl discover life, yet all the while never forgetting Albert.

Okay, fine, “War Horse” is much more that that, as intertwined with the story of Joey is the family bond Albert has back home on the farm, a look at a young little girl and her grandfather, a glimpse of the brutality of trench warfare, and how an animal can make friends out of enemies, if only for a few minutes.  Yup, the “This is riveting” had turned into a wonderful story.

Wonderfully shot and what turns out to be a fantastic story, “War Horse” is the kind of movie that is probably better seen on the big screen to envelop you, but will do fine on your big screen, and will allow you to get weepy in the privacy of your own home (Yup, the ending is a tear-jerker in many ways).  So, get through the first five minutes of unrivetting-ness, and enjoy this 4 ½ our of 5 star movie in all of its horse splendor.

Now, Blu-ray wise, if you get the 4-disc combo pack, you get extras to keep you busy for hours, and if you have any interest in how an Academy Award winning Director constructs a movie, this is the combo pack for you. Among other features, you get “War Horse: The Journey Home” which gives you a round-table format of discussions about the film, the characters, and how things went from seeing a play and thinking it would make a great film to ending up on the big screen. Then there is “A Filmmaking Journey” which gives you a detailed look at Steven Spielberg’s creative process, while “Editing and Scoring” dictates how the film is put together. There isn’t the standard “Deleted Scenes” nor “Gag Reel,” which is probably better since generally those just add easy extras to a release, but if you ever just wanted to be that guy in the background of a shot, you get “An Extra’s Point of View,” a nice look at being, well, an extra on a film. Lastly, take the film with you because you also get the copy for your portable device. This combo pack is why you buy a combo pack.

A great story, a great film, and a worthwhile batch of extras when you buy the whole set, I am a little sad I didn’t see the movie on the gloriousness of the big screen, but snuggling on the couch and the both of you getting a little weepy with a great movie does have a niceness about it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!!

Celebrating Emancipation Day, Would You Buy a Zoo?, Golf-Triggered Memories, and America’s Got Talent is Almost Back.

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

As millions of people were doing yesterday, I was celebrating Emancipation Day. Okay, I wasn’t really celebrating, I just couldn’t quite get to the podcast, but for those of you wondering why April 17th is Tax Day this year, instead of at least on the 16th, all is revealed in this podcast episode. Also revealed in the podcast – if “We Bought a Zoo” is any good. It’s a movie now out on Blu-ray about a dude (Matt Damon) who buys a zoo. Okay, it’s a little more complicated than that, and it also has Scarlett Johansson as a zookeeper/potential love interest, but it does have real animals for your kids to watch instead of a movie with cartoon animals that can talk.

Watching golf makes me remember my college days, I had vegetarian food for Easter, Apache Helicopters are invading Chicago, and don’t look now but it’s less than a month to the return of “America’s Got Talent” with new judge, Howard Stern. You may love him or you may hate him, but you’ll probably at least watch out of curiosity. All of that and some movie news in this week’s podcast!

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dude, Where’s My Car?

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dude, Where’s My Car?
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Kristy Swanson, Jennifer Garner,
Marla Sokoloff, Fabio, Stuttering John
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Not too young, lots of pot, sex, and drinking talk.
Date Movie: If she’s got a twisted sense of humor.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk and girls in tight shirts.
Gratuitous Violence: Maybe just the “Super-Hot Giant Alien” blowing up.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I laughed a lot. Maybe I’ve just gone crazy.
Memorable Scene: Nothing totally stands out.
Memorable Quote: The little boy looking up the Super-Hot Giant Alien’s skirt to his dad: “I want to go on that ride, daddy!” which the dad replies “Me too!” and this exchange:
“A barn?”
“Is it red?”
“No.”
“Then it’s not a barn.”
Directed By: Danny Leiner

I think I’ve now finally secured it – I’m going to hell. Why? Because at 10:30 on Sunday morning, when I should have been at church, I was at one of the worst movies I have seen and I found myself enjoying it – “Dude, Where’s My Car?”

The story starts out simple, Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott) wake up not really knowing what happened the night before. They attribute this to being totally wasted and it’s easy to see how that could happen. So the movie begins with our duo trying to put back the pieces to what must have been a fabulous night, especially as they begin to find out some of the things that have happened, starting with Greg (Stuttering John Melendez), peeing in their plant. They meet up with Christie Boner (Kristy Swanson) who let one of our duo feel her up, they stumble into the nudie bar where they find they were the kings of the bar, and then things really get weird finding out that they were in charge of a suitcase full of money, gave a couple aliens a ride back to their spaceship, and played some pretty good miniature golf. And if you think that’s weird, it’s their day after, when they found out what happened the night before, that things really start taking twists and turns by adding the bubble-wrap people, the continuum transfunctioner, and the Super-Hot Giant Alien.

This is the kind of movie that most reviewers won’t give two cents worth of their time to watch, and you know what, I don’t blame them, but for some reason all of the lame, stupid, obvious, and childish jokes made me laugh. From the exchange of Jesse and Chester describing their tattoos, to the Chinese drive-in, to the Rubik’s Cube, to the bubble suits the space cult people were wearing, I laughed. Maybe sometimes I need mindless fun, and “Dude, Where’s My Car?” provided me and the four other people that blew off church in favor of a movie that simple pleasure.

I won’t take any more of your time with this review for this movie except to say if you go into this movie expecting what you think the trailers show, well, you’ll probably enjoy it a little. If you go to this movie thinking this will be one of the most thought-provoking comedies of all time, well, you’ll probably leave by the time the dog smokes his own one-hitter. I’m giving “Dude, Where’s My Car?” 3 stars out of 5. It’s stupid fun – expect that.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Sitter

Below is an excerpt from The Dude on the Right’s full review of “The Sitter.” It was raunchy enough, but he really wanted it to be funnier…

…it was mostly fun, it was a romp of kids through the main streets of the city, it was way, way, way over the top at times, but for the love of God, put the kids and teens to bed before you even think of watching this in front of them….

The Sitter

MPAA Rated – Unrated
It’s 1:22 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Sitter
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jonah Hill, Ari Graynor, Landry Bender, Kevin Hernandez, Max Records, Sam Rockewell
MPAA Rated: Unrated Version
Released By: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
Release Date: March 20, 2012
Kiddie Movie: Definitely not. Send them to bed.
Date Movie: If she’s got a sick sense of humor. If she’s a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes she will think you are a pervert.
Gratuitous Sex: The movie opens with Noah giving oral homage to Marisa and explaining his technique, so I would say “Yes.”
Gratuitous Violence: Some gun play.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: It does have some funny moments, though mostly over the top.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: David Gordon Green
Cool things about the Blu-ray: Nothing reallly other than it looks good. The extras are pretty generic, and you get to see an alternate ending that would have sucked.

I have to say that my favorite babysitter movie of all time is “Adventures in Babysitting.” It was fun, it was a romp of kids through the mean streets of the city, it was slightly over the top at times, and it was fairly safe for kids even though it was rated PG-13.  After seeing “The Sitter” I have to say it didn’t eclipse “Adventures…” as my favorite babysitter movie, but it was mostly fun, it was a romp of kids through the main streets of the city, it was way, way, way over the top at times, but for the love of God, put the kids and teens to bed before you even think of watching this in front of them.  Then go ahead and have a laugh or two.

For “The Sitter” we get Jonah Hill as Noah, a slug living at home, looking for love, and good at oral sex.  We pretty much find all of this out in the first 5ish minutes of the film.  It seems like all he really wants in life is to have his divorced mom find a good man, get laid, and maybe be an astronomer.  As his life would have it, to facilitate his mom going on a date, Noah takes the gig of watching the neighbor’s kids comprised of the little girl, Blithe (Landry Bender), who likes to dress in beauty pageant clothes and just wants to go out clubbing, Slater (Max Records), who is having issues of keeping friends, and Rodrigo (Kevin Henrnadez), the adopted son of said family and a little terror. Of course the kids hate Noah, and of course Noah gets a call from his girlfriend want-a-be telling Noah he’ll get laid if he brings her some cocaine, so Noah is off in the family minivan, with kids in tow, in search of Karl (Sam Rockwell), the drug kingpin, and then to meet up with Marisa (Ari Graynor). And hilarity is supposed to ensue.

I say “supposed to” because although funny is some aspects, most of it just seems rehashed or telegraphed from a mile away.  And yes, here is the proverbial spoiler alert…  Do the kids try and run away? Rodrigo does. Is there some kid mayhem? Yup. Does Noah have to come up with money to pay back Karl so he doesn’t kill someone? You betcha. Will Noah and the kids end up in a bar none of them really belong in? What do you think?

Some of it is kind of funny, in a truly adult kind of way, but a lot of it just plods along until the eventual end of Noah with the right girl, and the kids loving their new babysitter.

Jonah Hill is well, Jonah Hill, I’m not really sure what is going on with the Marisa character, and go figure, kids just want to be understood.  Kinda funny, definitely not for anyone close to a kid’s age, and for me it’s 2 stars out of 5. Oh hell, make it 2 ½ for a “totally unnecessary to the plot” boob shot.

As far as the Blu-ray it’s got some standard fare that pretty much ends up just being filler, although I did watch the “Totally Irresponsible” unrated version and honestly can’t tell you what the difference was.  The rest of the extras are “Ehh.” The deleted scenes are pretty much better deleted, and the extended scenes would have made the movie drag a ton more. Some of the outtakes are kind of funny, but the “Gag Reel” really didn’t do much.  If you want there is a “Making of…” featurette which is fine and all, but really, you’re just getting the Blu-ray for raunchy fun.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Down to You

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:31 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Down to You
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Julia Stiles, Freddie Prinze Jr., Henry Winkler
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Miramax
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Not too young – a lot of sex talk.
Date Movie: Late teens and early 20’s – bring them along.
Gratuitous Sex: They’re doing it a lot, but nothing shown.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots of things to smile and grin at.
Memorable Scene: Al’s dream sequence on “The Man Show.”
Memorable Quote: Two: First you have Al’s buddy who just scored tell Al “She shoved her finger in my, you know.” Second, Imogen’s friend is smoking wacky weed, but beforehand she puts on a, what looks like a swim cap, because “it holds the smoke in your head, for like, a lot longer.”
Directed By: Kris Isacsson

There I sat, in the movie auditorium with about 800 seats, and between my fingers and toes I could count the number of people there to see “Down to You.” I didn’t even need to question if my thumbs should be counted as fingers because the end ratio of people there went something like this: Me, sitting by myself as usual; to the left of me, in the same row, three girls approximately ten to twelve years old; about six rows up from me was a group of four girls, I’d say mid-teens; about fifteen rows up from me were two girls, again mid-teens; and finally, a row in front of me to the left was the family contingent with mom, dad, and their two daughters. Enough about the audience, but seeing “Down to You” was more like being at a private screening than having to deal with a theater filled with annoying people. The movie.

Basically “Down to You” tells the story of two people who fall in love and realize it ain’t always that easy to make it work. You’ve got Freddie Prinze Jr. as Al, the not really knowing what he wants to do with his life but he think it will have to do with cooking, and then you’ve got Julia Stiles as Imogen, the now really knowing what she wants to do with her life but she thinks it will have to do with art. They’re in college, she’s a freshman, he’s a sophomore (I think – it really doesn’t matter except for the fact that it puts both of them drinking underage for a lot of the movie – ain’t college great!), and they fall in love. Al’s got a goofy family led by Henry Winkler as the host of a cooking show, and we never meet Imogen’s family. In any case, they meet, fall in love, have a lot of sex, she tests their love by going to France for the summer, she comes back, they have more sex, she thinks she might be pregnant, Al tries to do the right think but Imogen pushes him away, they question their relationship especially when he calls her a bitch and she calls him an old man, she cheats on him, he’s pissed, they break up, but it’s a love story so you know it can’t end that way, and they live happily ever after.

Alright, sure, I gave away a lot of the movie, but hey, it’s not as if you’re sitting there thinking this will be anything new in a love story, because, well, it isn’t. And that’s not saying the movie is that bad, it just isn’t that good, and it’s not because our lead characters don’t flash their googly-eye smiles at each other enough, but maybe it’s because the love story is so normal that it doesn’t hit any new ground. Weird friends, weird families, not knowing where your life is taking you, but the one thing I guess this movie does have is the happy ending because usually, especially after her cheating on him and moving away, well I think that would be the more natural ending than the happy one.

In any case the movie is alright but probably more as a rental and more for older teens. There’s lots of talk about sex although no one gets naked, and the jokes are kinda the crude variety. But after seeing too many serious or thinking movies I did enjoy “Down to You” more than I think I should have, but I still can’t get the rating higher than 2 1/2 stars out of 5. I like Julia Stiles. I think she’s got a good future in front of her and all the teenage girls are finding Freddie just dreamy. They both just needed a better story.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Double Jeopardy

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:45 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Double Jeopardy
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Ashley Judd, Annabeth Gish, 
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Violence, blood, and sex. I don’t think so.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: Ashely gets naked and romps in the sack before waking up in blood.
Gratuitous Violence: Blood and some shooting.
Action: There’s supposed to be some, but it’s pretty predictable.
Laughs: Quite a few lines.
Memorable Scene: Libby in jail.
Memorable Quote: Too many to write down.
Directed By: Bruce Beresford

“Double Jeopardy,” whether planned or not, contains as many movie clichés as I’ve seen all summer. There is the proverbial being covered in blood and holding the possible murder weapon as the cops, or in this case the Coast Guard, show up. There is the being trapped in a mausoleum with the door locked and then realizing, after everyone in the audience already figured out, that there is a window to break your way out of. There is the way-predictable ending of mom ending up with her son, and yea, her son recognizing her voice like the one inmate said he would. There is the walking chase scene through the packed streets of New Orleans, with our heroin carrying a red umbrella, and she loses the cops for just a second, and then low and behold they go after the wrong lady who is also carrying a red umbrella. There is the bachelor auction where the wife, who the husband thinks is still in prison, bids on him. And there is the best friend sleeping with the husband who is supposed to be dead. There are more clichés, oh, there are more, but I suppose I’ve given away plenty already. But you know what? All of these things are so telegraphed that they aren’t really a surprise, and even though you know these things are going to happen, well, “Double Jeopardy” was still a pretty entertaining movie.

Ashley Judd is Libby, our heroin, who gets sent to prison for murdering her husband. She sends her son off with her friend, Angie (Annabeth Gish), and proceeds to do her time in prison. Well, low and behold, one day she figures out that Angie has run off to San Francisco with, surprise, surprise, her “dead” husband. One of the inmates explains to her that when she gets out of prison she can feel free to find her “husband” and shoot him in the head, in the middle of Times Square even, and she can’t be tried for his murder due to the double jeopardy clause in the US Constitution. True, but probably not, this leaves Libby open for her drive to find her husband, but all she ends up really wanting is to get her son back.

She ends up getting out of prison and finds her parole officer Travis (Tommy Lee Jones), who really just wants her to be good. Well, she’s not, in fact doing a little breaking and entering, resisting arrest, breaking parole, and sending Travis on a cross-country chase while she tracks down her “husband” and her son. Travis is getting torn because he is starting to believe her story that her husband isn’t dead, but he knows he still has a job to do. In keeping with Hollywood happiness, and I’ll spoil it for you, Libby ends up getting her son and is cleared of all charges. Yippee!! And that’s enough plot summary.

“Alright, Dude, if the movie was so predictable and the plot pretty stupid, how come 4 ½ stars?” Well, internet reader, I’ll tell you.

First off there were a lot of scenes that brought some good laughs. The time Libby spent in jail was enjoyable on the screen. The inmates that befriend her are full of funny advice and the advice just before the parole hearing was humorous. Secondly there is a scene where this dude in the library starts helping Libby do some internet searching while trying to pick her up. She likes his assistance buts needs nothing of his advances. What better way to get rid of an annoying dude than to explain that you’ve been in jail for the last six years for killing your husband. And not finally, but also, there are plenty of funny exchanges from both Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd that, well, just made me laugh. So even though a supposed action/thriller, I found myself laughing more than in suspense, but enjoying it nonetheless.

“Alright, Dude, the movie made you laugh, and that sounds like maybe a 3 ½ star movie. Where’d the other star come from?”

Well, you’re right on that one, in terms of a movie it was about 3 ½ stars, but in being the male that I am, the pleasure of seeing Ashley Judd in assorted tight outfits, acting well, and also getting naked, hmm, call me a pig, but that earns another star. Yea, I know it’s petty and maybe even blows credibility out of a review rating, but it made “Double Jeopardy” just a little bit better for me.

Could this movie have been a great movie even without Ashley getting naked? Not in its present form, but maybe with a different twist to the story. I’m thinking what might have been a better film would have been something like this: The beginning is the same, but when Libby gets out of jail they would have her find her husband in Times Square, lets say on New Year’s Eve, and she blows his brains out. Let’s shift the movie from an action/suspense to a drama by having a court battle challenging this supposed hole in the “Double Jeopardy” clause. I’m pretty sure she’d end up back in jail, but at least there wouldn’t have been so many opportunities for the movie clichés. Just my two cents.

Anyway, I stand behind my 4½ stars. I was entertained and the folks in the theater I was in seemed to come out entertained. Oh well!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

National Anthems, Five Movies to Maybe See, Tornado Warnings, and TV Talk.

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

As weeks have gone by since Stu Gotz and I have done a “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast, being back together again means a lot of movies were watched, at least by Stu. Me, I let you know if “The Sitter” with Johan Hill is any good to rent (One hint – don’t watch it with the kids), while Stu breaks down “Wrath of the Titans,” the new version of “Footloose” (I still have no idea why he rented it), “The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo (Who Likes to Show Her Boobies)”, and we find out that if you read “The Hunger Games,” as Mama Gotz did, you might not like the movie, while if you didn’t, as was the case with Stu, you may like the movie.

Stu is sad at the changes “Playboy” has taken with its magazine, I let Stu know that the Borat version of the Kazakhstan National Anthem is not the official version of the nation, Stu doesn’t sound that excited about the Chicago Cubs home opener, I’m not liking “American Idol” anymore, Mama Gotz and my BFF are more cautious about upcoming storms than me and Stu (although the new National Weather Service graphic tornado warnings might make us take notice), I’m liking the new TV show “Touch,” and Stu needs to watch more “Celebrity Apprentice.”

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Chicken Tikka Masala for St. Pat’s Day, Bangers and Mash for St. Joseph’s Day, and Mitt Romney Better Finally put Rick Santorum Away

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day I ate chicken tikka masala, and in honor of St. Joseph’s Day I had bangers and mash. I really wish Stu Gotz were here to make fun of me for my food choices, but sadly it’s a solo “Weekend Wrap-up!” podcast as Stu is out running around.

With Summer already here in Chicago, even though Spring officially starts tomorrow, it was a weekend where I reminisced about St. Patrick’s Days gone by, and how downtown Chicago this year was filled with revelers and drunks by two in the afternoon. I also reflected on my experiences with Indian food, and how I enjoyed my St. Patrick’s Day dinner at Sara’s Grill and Eastern Cuisine.

I’m wondering why no one blind-sides Colton in “Survivor: One World,” I’m not liking “American Idol” that much and I blame it on the fact that they don’t have a British person with a condescending accent, “The Hunger Games” opens this weekend and I probably won’t see it, hopefully Mitt Romney will defeat Rick Santorum in the Illinois Primary tomorrow so the political ads will be done for a while and Stu Gotz might not be available for next week’s podcast so if you want to be a special podcast guest, feel free to email me at podcast@entertainmentavenue.com

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!