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April 30, 2006

What's New? A Movie Review of "RV."

For this movie review, The Dude on the Right learned an important lesson - Don't listen to his sister. "RV" was "Vacation"-light.

Posted by Rightdude at 8:20 PM | Comments (0)

What's New? A Movie Review of "Stick It."

For this movie review, The Dude on the Right had high hopes for this film, but in the end, it's no "Bring It On" for gymnastics.

Posted by Rightdude at 8:19 PM | Comments (0)

I Should Never Listen to My Sister, and Oh Favorite Niece of Mine, Please Don't Disown Me!

By: The Dude on the Right
It's Sunday morning and the weather is pretty crappy.  It's windy, a little cooler, with a big douse or rain.  I get myself out of bed, take a shower, and suddenly get the hankering for a McGriddle sandwich.  While cleaning the soap off of my svelte body, with my breakfast plans firmly implanted in my head, I planned my day:  Get dressed, head to my McDonald's Drive-Thru, get back home, read my Sunday paper, eat my breakfast, and eventually head to the movies.  While reading my paper (I had to buy one because my delivered copy was soaked thanks to the rain, but I digress), Stu called me after dropping Mama Gotz at the airport.  He just wanted to chat a bit, asked me my plans for the day, and I told him I was going to see "United 93," the movie about 9/11 and the plane that crashed.  He said he would be interested to hear my take about it on Monday, as well as fill him in a little bit more about the movie "Stick It," which I saw on Saturday.

With the topic of the movie "United 93," I was sort of psyching myself up for it.  I knew it wasn't going to give me any laughs, would bring some flashbacks to some television memories I could do without, but in a way, I wanted to be somewhat inspired by the bravery of the folks on the plane.  I figured I would sit in the theater after the movie ended and reflect a little, make my way back to the dude-pad, and type up reviews for "Stick It," United 93," and maybe a blog about my reaction to the "United 93" movie.  I would get things posted, then sit back and watch "The Sopranos" wondering if Artie really did get his cooking mojo back, and if they were going to find Vito.  My day was planned.  It would be a little bit happy, a little bit sad, and some work would even get done.

Then I got an e-mail from my sister that ruined my entire day.

The beginning of it simply started:  "You should of went to go and see RV.  I laughed my ass off.  To the point of tears in my eyes.  Yes it resembles chevy chase but when you watch the movie you don't even think of it because it was funny."

And for some dumb-ass reason I actually started to think "Maybe "RV" is a funny movie?"

And so I started to debate in my head, a debate which never should have happened, but it was simply "Go see "United 93," what is supposed to be a great movie and maybe be depressed" vs. "Go and see a movie that made my sister laugh her ass off (and I'm sorry, this is too easy), and since she's got a pretty big ass, it's got to be hilarious."

And so, for some reason, rather than see a movie getting tons of critical acclaim, even with the subject matter, I decided to go and see "RV," on the recommendation of my sister.

I have one question for my sister, which she might answer, but probably won't, especially with the "big ass" comment, but "What scenes in this movie brought 'tears in my eyes?'"

For me, it was an okay movie, but tried to stay too safe.  It was "Vacation"-light.  For my sister, it sounded like the comedy event of a lifetime.

Now, my niece supposedly disowned me a couple of weeks ago, I think for a picture I posted in my blog.  I thought I might have a chance to get back in her good graces when I agreed with her that "Scary Movie 4" was a funny movie, but I'm pretty sure that now, after taking her Mom's advice about a funny movie, she'll never talk to me again (and if she found the movie as funny as her mom did, I'm going to start to also wonder about her ability to pick a funny movie).  I hope that's not the case, because, from now on, I have a new plan when I get an e-mail from my sister touting the comedic genius of a movie.  My new plan is this:
 

A:	I receive an e-mail from my sister touting the comedic genius of a recent movie I haven't seen yet.
2:	I make sure I have already seen the trailer for the movie and immediately begin to question her opinion of comedy.
III:	I try to instant message my niece to find out if she went to see the movie as well.
D:	If my niece said she has seen the movie and found it funny, I see the movie.
Cinco:	If my niece said she has seen the movie and couldn't figure out why her mother was laughing, I don't see it.
6:	If my niece said she didn't see the movie, I still don't see it.
VII:	If my niece doesn't respond to my instant message, over the course of a day, I will know that she has totally disowned me for actually taking the advice of her mother for seeing the movie "RV."

So that is my new plan, and I hope two things right now so that it will work:  A:  My niece hasn't disowned me.  2:  My niece didn't find "RV" nearly as funny as her mom.

To wrap up this blog, I do have to thank my sister for two things today, and one is that "RV" did have ample amounts of cleavage.  The other is I did get one good chuckle during the movie, when Travis comments something like "Don't worry.  I'm keeping my eye on them in the rear-view mirror, and he's not very good," to which his wife replies, "Neither is his dad."  A little bit more uplifting than reliving 9/11.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Posted by Rightdude at 7:43 PM | Comments (2)

April 29, 2006

What's New? Speaking English in The United States, and When to See "United 93."

For this podcast, The Dude on the Right talks about his Grandma and her buying a "Polish to English Dictionary," when he should see "United 93," and still thinks his entry should have been one of the qualifiers in the "Howard Stern Film Festival."

Posted by Rightdude at 7:45 PM | Comments (0)

April 28, 2006

It Was Just Supposed to be a Trip to the Grocery Store, not a Blog Entry.

By: The Dude on the Right
Coming back to the Dude-Pad this evening, I really expected nothing eventful, but who would have thought a quick trip to the grocery store would have been so, eventful?  No, that's not the right word.  Maybe exciting?  Nah, that's not it even.  I guess all I can say is it gave me this blog inspiration.  You can call the story what you want (I'm guessing "boring," though I hope "relatable" might be a better word choice), but for me, it was filled with being a little peeved, being a good sport, watching a crash, being a lot peeved, trying not to get in a car crash, and grinning.  All of that with a little trip to a grocery store.

Anyway, like I said, I'm on the way back to the Dude-Pad and realize there are a couple of things I needed to pick up for dinner.  Actually there were three things I needed, two for dinner, and one for my super-fancy heating & cooling system.  It was when I got back home and I walked past my thermostat that I said, under-my-breath,  "Fuck."  That was because I also needed some batteries for the thermostat, which has been screaming at me for a couple of weeks to replace its batteries.  Okay, not really screaming, just blinking indiscriminately "Replace batteries."  Fine, I forgot the batteries, but I digress.  Let's get back to the grocery store.

So I pull into the parking lot, get an okay space, and I get a little peeved.  It's not something someone did to me, it's what someone did to someone else.  What heinous act did someone do?  They were too "f"-in lazy to put their shopping cart in the cart-corral.  And you know what, they were also too "f"-in lazy to even get their cart out of the way.  Nope, they left it right behind another car.  Being the nice guy I am, and it wasn't too much of a diversion, I grabbed the cart and proceeded to corral it in the cart-corral.  Man, I'm such a good dude.

I make it into the store, grab the two things I need, and view a fantastic "cart into person-walking-too-fast-and-not-paying-attention-as-they-got-to-the-end-of-an-isle" crash.  I love these crashes because it's like this person getting plowed over by a shopping cart has never been in a grocery store before.  Ah, some humor before soon being pissed.

And I was soon to be pissed.

Most of the lines were long, but my local grocery store has four "self check-out" areas.  Because of this the grocery store got rid of the "Express" lanes with an actual checker, but my leaving should be short and swift, until, well, I get to the self check-outs, and they are filled with people who have totally full shopping carts.  What totally boggles my mind is that these people have no concept that if they had actually gotten in a full-service line, their trip would probably be shorter.  Why?  Because a normal line, with a checker and a bagger, can knock out a full cart of groceries in no time, let alone a couple or three, rather than you, the shopper, reaching into your cart, trying to get the item to scan (God forbid you have to actually look up a fruit or vegetable product code), bag it, fill up the bag, move the bag out of the bagging area and back into your cart, and continuing this maddening cycle, when all I have are two items to scan, bag, pay, and get the hell out of the store.  But no, YOU THINK YOU ARE SAVING TIME BY TAKING YOUR FULL CART OF GROCERIES THROUGH THE SELF CHECK-OUT LANE BUT ALL IT REALLY SHOWS IS THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE HORSE'S ASS!!!!!!

A couple of people line up behind me, and we all shake our heads at the assholes in front of us.  Finally a spot opens up and about one minute later, I am out the door.  God I hate inconsiderate people sometimes.

But my trip to the grocery wasn't finished, and I'm not exactly sure if I can put the ending of this into words, but I'll try.

I get to my car, safely stow my bag of two items, which should have been three if I had bought the damn batteries I still need, but anyway, I start to pull out of the grocery store parking lot.  There I am, dude-mobile at the exit, looking to make a right turn.  The road's a little busy, I keep looking to the left to see if it's clear, and then a big ol' SUV pulls up next to me in the left-turn lane.  I can sort of see through his windows to see if my turn is clear, but can't budge any further forward because that would have put the nose of my mobile 1/4 into the traffic lane.  I'm fine with that, but then he pulls forward just a tad and now my window-viewing access is gone (to all people in SUVs -  You can lag back a bit behind us shorter cars because you can see over us.  Unlike Superman, I can't see through metal you fucking assholes!  Quit being pricks.  I'm sorry, back to trying to turn.)  Anyway, we're sort of at a stand-off.  I can't see what's coming from the left, the SUV prick is still waiting to turn, and now the jerk-off behind me is getting impatient.  All of a sudden the SUV sprints out into the street and gets his left turn, followed quickly by a car in the lane I want to be in, cruising by.  And then the miserable douche-bag behind me honks his horn.

There are many horn honks.  There is the slight tap horn honk which nicely says "You are daydreaming, but the light has turned green so get going" one.  There is the longer horn honk which urges "Hey, we've been sitting here for a couple of seconds with the light green and you are still putting on make-up.  Get your dumb-ass going" one.  Then there is the "I'm an impatient prick and I can't see why you didn't put yourself in harm's way even though you couldn't see how quickly someone was coming from the other direction who might slam into your car as you pull out of this grocery store parking lot" one.  The miserable douche-bag behind me used the latter.

I'm not a road-rage kind of person, I usually just kind of take it in stride, but looking in my rear-view mirror, I could see this dude was really annoyed.  But there were still cars coming my way, so I couldn't safely make a turn, and then, finally, a little gap opens up, and I safely make my right turn, with room, for really, only one car to safely make the turn.  But not douche-bag man behind me.  Nope, he quickly darts into the lane, makes the turn, and as I see him in my rear-view mirror, I mutter to myself, "What an asshole."

Inquisitive as I am (and hoping this dude isn't a total psycho and trying to catch me), I keep checking my rear-view mirror, and I now see him, leaning over to the passenger seat, trying to clean up some spilling.  From the looks of things it looked like his impatience made him spill his groceries all over the front seat, and in my head I said to myself, "Self, you see, impatient douche-bags get their own payback in the end."  I couldn't help but grin, as I watched the dude in my rear-view mirror trying to clean up the mess in his front seat, but then worried, just a tad, that now this prick was going to rear-end me because he wasn't paying attention to the world around him, let alone, the car, my car, in front of him.

Well, he didn't rear-end me, and I made it home, safe and sound, and now wrote a blog longer than some reviews I write.  Oh well, I hope I at least depicted my trip to the grocery store in a way most of you can understand, or could at least relate.

And, oh yea, in case you were wondering, and I'll bet you weren't, but dinner turned out fabulous (fresh garlic and some good wine never hurt).

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Posted by Rightdude at 8:15 PM | Comments (0)

April 26, 2006

What's New? The Dude on the Right's "American Idol" Wrap-Up: The Dude Liked Katharine's Dress; The Dude's Mom, not so Much.

For this podcast, The Dude on the Right takes the blame for the lack of a "Stu & The Dude Weekend Wrap-Up" this week, but lets it loose with his comments on the "American Idol" performances this week, and his fascination with "Deal or No Deal." The Dude only has one problem with Katharine McPhee, and that is that he thinks she smiles too much.

Posted by Rightdude at 8:42 PM | Comments (0)

What's New? Stu & The Dude Reviewin' the Movies for You!: Scary Movie 4.

For this episode of "Stu & The Dude Reviewin' the Movies for You!", Stu wanted "Scary Movie 4" to be rated "R" for one reason, The Dude on the Right for another. That, and Stu doesn't take too well to The Dude's latest revelation.

Posted by Rightdude at 8:06 PM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2006

Bon Jovi says: "Who Says You Can't Go Home." I Went Home.

By: The Dude on the Right
Bon Jovi sometimes has some of the best words of wisdom.  Fine, sometimes those words might be sort of cliché, but who can't appreciate the advice of "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead."  It's a simple phrase, and I've used it many a time, mostly when I was drunk, at four in the morning, when people are telling me I should just go back to my room and go to sleep.  I'd tell them "I'll sleep when I'm dead," give them about five minutes of my whit and humor, and then at about 4:05, well, I'm heading to my room to go to sleep.  Ahhh, those college days!  Anyway, this time I took the advice of their latest hit, the one getting airplay on the country side of things with the very cute babe Jennifer Nettles from "Sugarland," namely the song "Who Says You Can't Go Home," because, well, this past weekend, I went home.  Yup, it was off to the old country to visit my parents for Easter weekend, you know, the weekend where we celebrate everything about bunny rabbits that we can think of.  We celebrate them as chocolate, we celebrate their eggs (even though they are mammals), we celebrate them as blow-up dolls, and we celebrate them in pastel colors.  And don't forget the "Peep," which is really cool when you toss it in the microwave.  Now I hear that some religious folks are upset because we are taking, umm, the "East" out of "Easter."  Man, that doesn't work nearly as easily as taking the "Christ" out of "Christmas," but in any case, they are upset that various communities are turning "Easter" celebrations into "Spring" celebrations.  Man, I hate to get off on a tangent, but for the most part, because, well, Christians are still the majority in this country, and well, they adopted the "Easter Bunny," that's why Christians are in this predicament.  But the United States is a melting pot, and we keep melting together more and more, and damn, I've got to get off of this tangent because it won't make anyone happy because this Blog was supposed to be about my going home.  Let's get back to that.

The Most Comfortable Toilet.

Anyway, for this blog, I originally had planned on doing it yesterday, taking some fun photos that would embarrass me about being home, pictures of things like the xxx that I was staying in, my xxx collection, our xxx on the wall, our xxx in xxx, and xxx School where I went to in my teens that is now closed.  Then, of course, there would be the pictures of what I think is the most comfortable xxx,

 my xxx from when I played xxx, and a xxx that I wish was bigger when I was younger.  Sadly, for this trip, the battery in my digital camera died, so all of those "xxx"'s will just have to wait until maybe the next trip home.

So, I went home, and all in all, it was a good time.  I trimmed some raspberry plants, trimmed some roses, made homemade horseradish, saw "Scary Movie 4" (our video podcast review should hopefully be done by the end of this week here and on  ), did some puzzle making, and had a few slices of the best pumpkin pie in the world.  Bon Jovi says "Who Says You Can't Got Home," but it was just good to be home.

Spring is here, I'm gearing up for summer, and I hope you had a nice weekend, whether it be about bunnies, yarmulkes, a Resurrection, or just about getting good deals at the store because of a Christian religion.  But just don't forget about Bon Jovi, because for most of us, you can go home.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Posted by Rightdude at 7:07 PM | Comments (2)

April 9, 2006

Our "Howard Stern Film Festival" Entry is Done. Back to Our Normal Posting Schedule.

By: The Dude on the Right
Sadly I've been shirking some of my duties here at Entertainment Ave! as I was working hard on finishing our entry into the "Howard Stern Film Festival."  It's a special episode of our movie reviews, but per rules, unless we win, you'll never see it.  That is kind of sad, but maybe kinda good because it would be kind of hard to explain to my mom how our humor could get so sick.

Anyway, with that done, I was able to catch a few flicks this past weekend, namely "Thank You For Smoking" and "The Benchwarmers," both of which I enjoyed in their own way of being enjoyed.

Thankfully I am almost caught up on all of my TV viewing from last week.  "Lost" is still weird, but I still like it, people on "Survivor" are still stupid, in my opinion, the boys doing "South Park" are entering dangerous territory, and "24" tosses a huge monkey-wrench into the mix by showing it is the President causing all of our latest troubles for Jack and not the V.P.  I did not see that coming at all.  All I've got left are a couple of episodes of "Smallville" to get through, and re-watch last week's "Sopranos" before I catch the next episode.  I won't be doing any catching up tonight because I'll be at the Cubs' game (watch for me on one of the rooftops, I'll be the one with the bag over my head and a cowboy hat!), but we'll get a new podcast posted Monday night, and finally get back to our normal posting schedule.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Posted by Rightdude at 3:14 PM | Comments (0)