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February 14, 2007

Thanks to Howard Stern I'm Now Just Greedy.

By: The Dude on the Right
I've always had two answers as to why I haven't found, nor actively looked for, a woman to marry yet.  One was that right now I like all of my stuff.  When the day comes that I only like half of my stuff I will then actively pursue the woman of my dreams.  I can then be content knowing that if, or as seems to be the case nowadays when, my marriage comes to an end, the only thing I have to hope is that she likes the half of my stuff I no longer like.  In a worst case scenario I am stuck with half of my stuff that I did like at one time.

The other answer was because of a man.  I suppose that really isn't an answer, but rather his name led to a pathway of explanations that seemed to make so much sense.  He explained many a time why marriage is the worst contract a man can ever enter into.  He also explained, as he seemed to be in complete bliss with girlfriend, as to why would he want to change anything with the woman he loved since things were going so well.  He also explained that if things did need to end, that by not being married it would be easier to complete the split.  He explained that there didn't seem to be a reason to be married as neither of them wanted children.  And he also commented on all of the things that would likely change with marriage, like less sex, more getting ordered around, and the wife letting herself go physically, things that he has seen happen with those around him who tied the knot.  That man was Howard Stern.

But I can use him no more because this morning he announced that he is officially engaged to his long-time girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky.  Yes, congratulations are in order, and Howard tried really hard to explain, well, that he is only engaged, and not married.  But lots of men, this morning, lost their probable last excuse for justification to their girlfriend that they shouldn't get married.  "Honey, look at how happy Howard Stern is with his girlfriend, and they aren't married.  Why would we want to risk our love with such a drastic change?" - Sorry dudes, you can't use that line, anymore.  "Honey, we don't need to have a silly ceremony to profess our love.  Everyone can see the love we have for each other by our actions, just like Howard and Beth!" - Nope, dudes, forget about that one, also.

Being 39 I suppose I could still use Howard Stern as my excuse, for a little while longer, as to why I haven't found the perfect woman, like when, at the local watering hole, my buddies ask "Dude, why haven't you found the woman of your dreams?", I can simply say "Because she's not old enough to get in this bar, yet."

Anyway, congrats again to Howard (and Beth)!  Beth sounds like a sweetheart and he seems totally lucky to have found her.  But this morning Howard Stern also threw lots of dudes under the bus because all they will be hearing now from their dudette is "... but Howard proposed to Beth?"  I've at least got a little while longer to use Howard Stern as my reason for not finding the girl I will marry.  After that, I guess, I'm just a greedy bastard because it will take a truly special girl to stop me from liking all of my stuff.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Posted by Rightdude at 6:18 PM | Comments (1)