« May 8, 2008 | Main | May 12, 2008 »

May 11, 2008

Eavesdropping in Millennium Park and Shirking My Duties!

By: The Dude on the Right
First off let me apologize for shirking my reviewer duties this weekend, but my Saturday turned out much better than I read "Speed Racer" might be, and I really didn't care about seeing "What Stays in Vegas" today, especially since today was a blustery, rainy day leaving some cleaning of The Dude-Pad actually a funner option since all of the reviews I read about the Vegas movie were mixed as well.  Stu Gotz, though, did see "Speed Racer" and promised to fill me in, and all of rest of you, during our "Weekend Wrap-Up Podcast" tomorrow, and I guess I'll have to give Stu some insight into my happily blowing off the movies for a day in the park and cleaning.

I suppose I should also fill Stu in with my latest obsession.

No, my obsession is not about my favorite sport's team, it's not about soap operas, it's not about searching for for information if Hillary has any chance in hell of beating Barack, and it's not even about internet porn.  Nope, I am slowly becoming obsessed with eavesdropping on people in public places.  It started the other day while I was hanging out in a Starbucks, with like, so, this girl who was so, like in the business world who, like, just liked to say "like" a lot, and "so" a lot, and I couldn't help if maybe the secret to advancement in the the corporate world, and maybe "The Hills" on MTV, was simply commenting about things with "like" and "so."

But then I spent some time in Millennium Park on Saturday, and I couldn't help but hear, while sitting on a bench, quips (with my initial thoughts) like, so:

• This is really a beautiful park area...
  Duh, it's Millennium Park, finished after the millennium, but you really would be shocked to see what is actually under the park!
• Maybe we should walk over to The Art Institute.  Which way is it?
  Doesn't anyone actually use a map anymore?
• Do you think those cigarettes are making us out of breath...
  Look, Mr. Skateboards, I know how you ripped your jeans, but do yourself a favor and Google "lung cancer."
• We found "The Bean!"
  Hey, that's "Cloud Gate" to you little skippy!
• Are your parents in Morocco?  Have they come to visit?
  He had a huge accent, she seemed Midwest, I'm guessing he'll never let his parents meet her.
• A baby was screeching loudly
  Actually, there were quite a few babies in their strollers crying/screeching, which is what babies do, especially when they are being strolled through a park they will never remember and just want a bottle, or their diaper changed.
• Now this I've never seen before...
  I wish I was actually looking at what this dude was seeing!
• The last time I was down here it was cold and gray and generally unpleasant.
  What in the hell are you doing visiting Millennium Park in the summertime?  Oh, I'm guessing it might have actually been winter.  :-)
• The Sound of Breaking Twigs...
  A dude with a ratty backpack, maybe looking for some inspiration, sat at the other end of the bench I was on, breaking twigs.  Bruce Springsteen has a song called "Thundercrack" on his "Tracks" compilation, but I'm thinking "Twiggycrack" won't have as much an impact.
• This is a dead end.
  There's a sort of fake sidewalk behind where I was sitting that people thought would lead them across Columbus Drive.  People, just take the "Snakey bridge"!
• Something was said in Spanish...
  My Spanish isn't what it used to be, actually it's not even close to what it used to be other than "Hola," "Dos Cervezas," "Donde el banyo," and "No hablo espanol," or something like that but with all of the appropriate accent marks, but there were some tourists speaking foreign languages.  Welcome, Bonjour, Aloha, Hola, Kon-nichiwa, and any other way we can say "Hello" to our foreign visitors!
• Daley Bicentennial Plaza
  She was tired, she just needed to sit down, and all she could read off of the sign was "Daley Bicentennial Plaza," which hopefully won't someday read "The Children's Museum that Should Have Just Stayed at Navy Pier."
• Yes, we flew than we drove back with them...
  I wonder who are "them," and were they safe drivers?
• You should see what is in his refrigerator now...
  What, human heads?  Maybe some Dijon mustard?  Is he all of the sudden a health nut stocking his refrigerator with fruits, vegetables, and vegetarian eggs, which I still wonder how eggs can ever be "vegetarian" no matter what they have been fed?

I know I shirked the fake, movie world this weekend, but sometimes reality can become so much more interesting when you have to use your imagination to finish some stories, especially when all you get is a sentence or two.  For me this weekend with "one sentence" stories to fill in, other stories about reality, and a few "No shit!" stories, was a hell of a lot interesting than anything I could have seen on a big screen.  It was a weekend where "life" was more exciting than "pretending about life," and I liked it.

That's it for this one!  I'm The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Posted by Rightdude at 7:20 PM | Comments (0)