Category: Andy Wonders

Do You Prefer Your Cereal Soggy or Crunchy?

Count Chocula at the local Meijer.As I poured the last of my stash of Count Chocula into the bowl, I was surprised to realize I didn’t stock up as much as I did in previous years, where I have been known to wipe out the shelves of my local store in order to be able to enjoy the chocolaty goodness for months and months. As much as I would say it’s probably better that I switch back to Cheerios (though only marginally, especially when it comes to Honey Nut Cheerios), or maybe even an egg and some grainy bread, there is something about eating what is supposed to be a children’s cereal that helps me continue to feel like I’m 12.

It’s kind of weird, though, how food preferences, or maybe I should say something like food preparation preferences can change, as I used to be a fan of the soggy cereal. I would soak it in a bath of milk, not be afraid to let it set on the counter or table and soak up the milky goodness, and then barely have to chew in order to swallow whatever sugary mix of “health” was now in my bowl. Oddly enough, as I’ve gotten older, my choice has changed, as this morning with my last bowl of The Count, I put barely a splash of milk in the bowl and did my best to eat my breakfast quickly so the bats and squishy marshmallows didn’t become a gooey mess. Somehow I’ve switched from a soggy to a crunchy cereal kind of guy.

And so, with my Halloween celebrating officially done (Okay, I might pick up another box or two of the Monster Cereal while they’re still available), I plight: Do you prefer your cereal soggy or crunchy?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Think Warren Buffet Would Start a Chain Letter?

It’s been going around for years, at least in some version, and it starts something like, “Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list…”, and then there is the text of a purported, proposed Constitutional Amendment asking for Congressional reform.

This email goes around and then gets forwarded by lots of people on Facebook just about every time our wonderful members of Congress seem to get their panties all in a bunch and can’t seem to agree, or get along, or get work done. There is a lot of finger-pointing, a bunch of name-calling, and along with that a lot of people complaining about congress, wanting something done, and then forgetting the mess come election time. This time it’s going around thanks to the government shutdown, the closing of memorials so even Veterans can’t visit, and the impending “hitting the debt ceiling” which seems to come around every year lately.

The thing is people seem to have a short memory as this email, according to Snopes, has been circulating in one form or another since 2009, and then enhanced when yes, Warren Buffet did do an interview on CNBC commenting about how members of Congress should be ineligible for re-election when there is a deficit problem. The thing is, since the Buffet quote about the 3% deficit problem is technically true, Snopes lists the quote as “True”, but I’m going to guess most people fail to read the rest of the Snopes analysis detailing the falseness with the rest of the email, and the supplemental link to the deconstructing of the proposed amendment and most importantly, whether or not Warren Buffet asked people to share the email.

I used to tell people when they forward things that they are fake, or partially fake in this case, but most of the times they just seem mad that I corrected them, sometimes write back something like “Well, he should have said this.”, or just don’t care, so I’ve pretty much tried to stop the urge to tell people to stop forwarding things that aren’t true. I was going to plight more along the lines of “Do you care if you send emails that aren’t true?”, but I’ve found most people don’t care, so instead I’m going with “Do you think Warren Buffet would start a chain letter?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Has a Music Video Ever Ruined a Song for You?

This plight makes me admit a few things I don’t know if I really want to out here on the internet. First off I’m a fan of girl pop music. Yes, I’ve been a Deborah Gibson fan back when she was Debbie, like me some Avril Lavigne, and yes, you can catch me singing some Miley Cyrus every now and then. Miley Cyrus’ latest “in the spotlight” escapades aside, I’m usually able to separate the crazy from the music, and for whatever reason I’ve been liking her song “Wrecking Ball” that has been hitting the airwaves, not to be confused with the Bruce Springsteen anthem, “Wrecking Ball.” The Miley song is catchy, in that girl pop kind of way, and then there was talk about the video, how Miley gets naked, and this, that, and the other thing. Not really caring that much, and with MTV not airing videos anymore, I didn’t really try to search it out.

Then the other morning I was up early, popped the Vevo (The go-to place for music videos now) on, and decided I would catch up with some music video watching while I was doing some writing. There on the menu was the Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball” video. Deciding I should see what all of the hubbub was about I decided to watch it, and I have to say I don’t know if I can listen to the song anymore as I think the video ruined the song for me.

Sure, Miley was in her short hair (which I don’t like), in underwear, and sometimes naked, in a video with a wrecking ball and a sledge hammer, and she’s slithering around, which is fine. Then she starts that creepy “tongue sticking out” thing that had grossed everyone out when she was on the VMA’s, and this weird sneer thing is going on as well. I know I’m an older dude now, and maybe I’m slowly losing touch with the youngins, but the entire video just creeped me out, and her prancing around in her underwear just didn’t come off sexy at all. That and the fact that it’s just a crappy music video for a song that actually had some potential to make a decent music video.

The bummer part now is that whenever the song comes on the radio all I’m going to think of is Miley, with that tongue, licking the wrecking ball. Sure, she needs to grow up and out of her Hannah Montana persona, but hopefully she’ll get over this phase quickly, or stop making videos, or else I’m going to have to turn to radio station so the image doesn’t make me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth. I’m also worried that she has the potential to now ruin Saturday Night Live for me, as she’s hosting and singing, and if there is a lot of tongue wagging I have a feeling I won’t be able to watch. Miley, please stop with the tongue!

With the song “Wrecking Ball” now ruined by a slithering Miley and her tongue (an hopefully not Saturday Night Live this weekend), I’m plighting: Has a music video ever ruined a song for you?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Button the Top Button When You Hang Up a Dress Shirt?

It’s funny to me how some things stick with me for all of my life. Buttoning my top bottom when I hang up my dress shirts is one of those things.

It started when I was young. I went to Catholic school, and like most had a slew of mostly white dress shirts in my closet. Now I’m not totally sure on this stage of things, however, I do know my mom did the laundry, but I think I was in charge of putting my clothes away when she was done, i.e., hanging shirts in the closet, putting things in the drawers, etc. I also had an Aunt Marcella Mattey, to us Aunt Marce. She was a business woman who at one time owned the Amherst Cinema in Amherst, Ohio with my Uncle John. She was also nit-picky about cleanliness. I know she would, at times, inspect my room, and it’d better be clean or else I would catch holy-hell for it. At one time, however, she looked in my closet and at this point in time I was probably like most kids who just threw my dress shirts on a hanger. She was not pleased. She pointed out that when I hang my dress shirts I should always button the top button. Why? To help keep the collar neat when you put the shirt on and don’t wear a tie. She pointed out that otherwise the collar flops down, and you don’t look prim and proper.

Ever since that day I, when I hang freshly washed dress shirts, I button the top button.

“What, in God’s name, made you think of this plight?” you may want to ask me. Well, the other day my wife hung up my dress shirts, and low and behold she is in the habit of buttoning the second button and not the top button. Further low and behold, I pulled out a shirt to put it on, and sure enough the collar flopped down and wasn’t neat. As I pointed out to her, the collar flops down like a woman’s collar, so I did my best to tactfully thank her for hanging my shirts, but tried to nicely point out that should she do it again, to please button the top button.

Funny, just about every time I go to hang my shirts, and button that top button, I think of my Aunt Marce, and thank her for doing her best to keep me neat and looking good. And maybe this is more of a plight for the men than the women, but: Do you button the top button when you hang up a dress shirt?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Think the Jimmy Kimmel / Kanye West Twitter Fight was Fake?

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that Jimmy Kimmel made news by it being discovered he was the perpetrator of the “Twerking FAIL” video where a girl catches on fire in her room when she is twerking against her door. Then, the other day, Jimmy Kimmel hits the news again for a “Twitter War” with Kanye West, started seemingly when Kanye was upset with Jimmy’s spoofing of an interview Kanye had with the BBC. In his spoof Jimmy used little kids in the places of Kanye and the interview dude, complete with milkshakes. Suddenly Kanye tweets his displeasure with him and how Sarah Silverman is funnier than Jimmy, much to the pleasure of Kimmel who was now able to use this for more witty banter on his show.

Lost in the Twitter war is a tweet by Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Tribune pointing out that there was a new, latenight boss at ABC, who just so happened to be the same guy who “shepherded the Kardashians at E!,” and in case you’ve been living under a rock, Kanye West happens to be involved with one of those Kardashian girls. In case you don’t know his writing, Phil Rosenthal is now doing business reporting for the Tribune, but those of us in Chicago remember him also as the head TV critic dude when he was over at the Sun Times (I do miss his TV analysis), and still seems to know quite a bit about the TV industry, so when Phil throws out a hint of “Hmmm? This seems oddly coincidental?” tweet, I’m pretty much on board with Phil.

The more I analyzed the Kanye tweets, and Kimmel’s response, the more I’m trusting Phil as it appears another likely Jimmy Kimmel  media manipulation seems to be at play.

I’m with Phil calling this a bogus “Twitter War,” although it’s still kind of funny, but with that I plight: Do you think the Jimmy Kimmel / Kanye West twitter fight was fake?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you climb on your counters to get to upper cabinets?

This plight was actually inspired weeks ago, but came back to me yesterday in the bathroom. You see, a few weeks ago I was looking for something in our kitchen cabinets. I think it was noodles, or maybe balsamic vinegar, but that’s not important. What is important is that I couldn’t find it on the lower shelves, and thought it might be on the top shelf. Now, mind you, a step-stool is probably a mere twenty steps away from me at this time, and the choice is in my head, “Walk over, get the step stool, set up the step stool, climb up the step stool, look on the top shelves, find stuff, climb down, put the step stool away,” or “Get your fat-ass on top of the counter and look on the top shelf.” I opted for the latter, and reminded myself of when I was about eight years old and liked to climb on the cabinets.

And so, yesterday, I’m in the bathroom, and there, on the wall near the ceiling, was a spider. Again, a step stool was a mere few steps away, but time was of the essence as I knew by the time I got the stool and came back, there was a high level of chance the spider would be gone. Alas, there I was, climbing on the bathroom counter and securing said spider, to release him in the wild so he could be free.

Call it laziness, call it expediency, or call it trying to connect with my eight-year old self again, but lately, given the choice of getting the step stool or climbing on the counter, I’m climbing on the counter. And so I plight: Do you climb on your counters to get to upper cabinets?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do you make your bed every day?

I saw a story in the newspaper the other day about how not making your bed can actually be healthier for you. It was related to dust mites and their need for moisture, and how leaving your bed unmade actually lets your bed air out, become less moist, and thus a less-friendly environment for the proliferation of dust mites. As I started to look into the story, however, I realized this idea has been going around for years, and that it seems every few years someone picks up on the concept, throws an article in a newspaper, especially when allergy season is bad, and everyone is like “Wow, I shouldn’t make my bed.” I was the same way, as somehow I’ve gotten in the habit of making our bed every morning (although I do admit my bed-making skills are not the greatest so now I’m trying to convince my wife we should be a Kickstarter investor in Smart Bedding, whose tagline is “Never Make Your Bed Again,” but for this she just looks at me like I’m lazy).  Okay, back to dust mites. I said to my wife, “I’m going to stop making the bed. We’ll have less dust mites.” She looked at me like, “Whatever,” and I pointed to the news article, realizing she wasn’t really buying it, and that I would somehow keep making the bed anyway as habits are what they are.

My problem now is that I actually started reading up on this, and finding this article from Hyla Cass in The Huffington Post, she tells me that I should keep making the bed, only now it becomes more complicated as I should “air-out” the bed before remaking it.

I guess, in the end, dust mites, dust schmites, I’ll probably keep making the bed, and probably won’t air it out as the article recommends. I will plight, however: Do you make your bed every day?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

And as a P.S. to bed-making, no, I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet.

Do You Want a Motorcycle?

I’ve been hearing a lot about motorcycles lately, namely people who want them, or especially in seeing these tricycle style bikes, all tricked out, or as I call them, motorcycle wannabes. As I look around on the internet I find that they are called “trikes,” yes, like the little kid tricycles, and even Harley-Davidson, or what I thought was the “cool of the cool” in terms of motorcycles, is in the game, with something called the “Tri Glide Ultra” (It starts at $32,549 according to the Harley website). It also seems Harley has been doing trikes for quite some time, but maybe it’s just because I’ve been seeing them more recently that I’ve started to care.

Me, when I was in high school, we had a moped, which I thought was cool, but really, in retrospect, was kind of dorky. The thing was, with the moped, you didn’t need a license to drive one, as the contraption combined the thrill of the motorcycle with pedals you could actually use should you run out of gas, I suppose. The other problem was that the pedals were practically useless as it was akin to pedaling a 100 pound bicycle in first gear should that 100 pound bicycle be a ten speed. I, however, was also a rebel, as our moped actually had an engine that was classified as too large to be considered on the “bicycle” license so that if I was actually pulled over by the cops, I could be arrested for not having a motorcycle license.

Anyway, the thing about the “trike” is it just seems like a lazy man’s motorcycle, with the three wheels so you don’t really have to balance, and many times it seems the trike owners tend to trick out their trikes, adding much more in terms of bling to them, as if seeing you on a trike didn’t bring attention to you enough, now you have to make it fancy.

Trikes aside, there is the part of me that thinks riding a motorcycle would be cool, what with the wind in your hair and bugs in your teeth, reminiscent of my days on the moped. But then the practical part of me goes that I can’t really afford a motorcycle, living in the Chicago area means I could only really ride it for half a year, then there are the asshole drivers I see who don’t treat motorcycle riders with any respect, and to top it off my garage is too small.

In the end I don’t see myself riding a motorcycle anytime soon, let alone buying one, but that’s not going to stop me from plighting: Do you want a motorcycle?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you pull a spoon out of your mouth upside down?

Many times I think I’m weird, have weird thought processes, or do weird things, but as I was eating ice cream years ago my wife pointed out to me that I pull the spoon out of my mouth upside down.  I let the comment go, even though I realized it did, but it wasn’t until I started paying attention to my yogurt eating lately that I’ve become obsessed with it,  as yes, I put the spoon full of yogurt in my mouth, and then turn it over so that my bottom lip cleans off the spoon. As I now pay attention to different things I eat with a spoon, I notice I don’t do it with everything. My cereal in the morning? Nope, in goes the spoon right-side-up, and then it comes out the same way. Soup? Pretty much the same thing, as long as it’s a “liquid” kind of soup like chicken noodle. But when it comes to creamier things, like yogurt, ice cream, or something like a cream of broccoli soup, in goes the spoon right side up, and then I’ll turn the spoon upside down in my mouth, and pull it out perfectly clean.

So, as I was eating my yogurt the other day and pulling the spoon out of my mouth, I wondered how many others seemed to do this, or if you even realize you do it? This might be a plight you need to investigate, so if you don’t know for sure, go out, get some ice cream or yogurt, eat it with a spoon, and report back on how you pull the spoon our of your mouth. Until then I plight: Do you pull a spoon our of your mouth upside down?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have you Considered Training for a Marathon?

Every now and then I go for a long walk. Sometimes it’s with our dog, Milo, and sometimes it will be a solo walk, but undoubtedly, during one of these walks, I think to myself, “Self, you like longs walks. Why don’t you train for a marathon?” In my head I have grandiose notions of being some 40+ year old dude who can somehow beat the Kenyans to the finish line at the Chicago Marathon, then I’ll try to jog for a while instead of walk, and then, rather quickly, as I’m huffing and puffing, reality kicks back in as I then think to myself, “Self, what are you thinking?”, and then it’s back to walking. The thinking then goes back to things like my “bowler’s knee” as I call it, where I have issues with my left knee from all of my years of bowling when I was a younger lad. Then the thoughts go to my OCD, or rather I should say my ankle OCD, or to be technical, my osteochondrosis dessicans, and figuring there is no way my ankle, let alone my knee would be up for the challenge. Then, of course, there is the actual training, where, I was reminded today by a post from a friend on Facebook, that you shouldn’t drink beer while training for a marathon. I know beer is involved in marathon training, but I think it’s supposed to be after the marathon and not before.

I know a couple of people who have completed a marathon and applaud them, and I know a couple of others who are training (I’m not sure on one of them anymore as their excuse for training was so that they could eat more, or at least so they posted), but me, I think I’ll stick to my walks. That is, unless, beer is part of the “before” training regimen. Maybe I’ll have to look into this marathon training a little more.

With the Chicago Marathon coming up in a little over a month, and inspired by a post by a friend of mine, I know I consider marathon training every now and then, and so I plight: Have you considered training for a marathon?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!