Category: Andy Wonders

Do You Know How to Fold a Fitted Sheet?

We bought some new bed sheets the other day. I found them on clearance, which was nice, so my wife did the first thing you should do and threw them in the wash. Being the good husband I try to be, I handled getting them in the dryer, and then, once dry, decided I would get them folded for her, and it is here that I remembered that in my many years of bed sheets, when it comes to that fitted sheet, I’m clueless.

Sure, folding of the pillow cases went smoothly, it wasn’t too bad folding the flat sheet even if it was King size, but then, there it was, the fitted, bottom sheet, with the elastic creating this kind of oval that for the life of me I could never figure out how to work, what with the elastic constantly ruining my quest for square corners. I did my best, kind of faked it a lot, and then posted a quick Tweet and Facebook post about how I’m never going to be able to fold a fitted sheet, and one of my smart-allek friends pointed me to a Martha Stewart link about folding a fitted sheet. I’ve seen this link before, even tried her supposed procedure, but low and behold the sheet always comes across like a misshapen mess.

The thing is that usually my wife and I fold the sheets together, and she will guide me through the folding of the fitted part, but today I was solo, and reminded of my way to fold a fitted sheet that instead of Martha’s seven steps, my way has three. Step One is to open the drawer where the bed sheets go. Step Two is to just shove the entire sheet in the drawer. Step three is to close the drawer. Sure, Martha’s way, if you can master it, leaves you with a lovely, folded sheet with nice creases, but my way will give you a piece of abstract art on the bed the first time you make your bed!  I know Martha Stewart can do it, I know my wife is pretty good at it, but I plight: Do you know how to fold a fitted sheet?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Would You Ever Wear, or Let Your Man Wear Meggings?

I’m not a huge Twitter person, I don’t follow everyone who follows me, nor always reply to people, and I only occasionally find something I think I should post because it looks like everyone else already found it, but every now and then someone pops on my radar or follows me, and then suddenly I’m a fan. Granted not every tweet is something I’m looking for, but usually during the day, between most of the folks I follow, I get some enjoyment from Twitter. My latest batch of enjoyment, weirdly enough, is from a dudette I don’t really know nor can I remember how I ended up following her, but Michelle Tripp (@michelletripp) recently tweeted “I just googled “meggings” and now my eyes are burning.”

As my luck, or rather no luck would have it, my Tweet-checking came during lunch as it often does, and of course I googled “meggings. The results popped up, complete with a bunch of images, and I was treated to what could be one of the most non-appealing-to-me fashion trends short of the return of neon colored clothing that seems to be proliferating the stores lately. What are meggings? I guess the easiest way to put it is they are legging for men. Remember when people made fun of the “manssiere” made famous from “Seinfeld?” Well, meggings are ripe for making fun of, but sadly the “hip” people like Justin Bieber and Russell Brand seem to like them.

I know I wouldn’t be caught dead in meggings, and I’m praying my wife hates them as well, but I simply plight: Would you ever wear, or let your man wear meggings?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!

Did You Get a Flu Shot Yet?

Over the weekend I got myself a flu shot. I won’t get started about how messed up the health industry is when the lady said that in order to submit getting the shot to my insurance that it was $50, but if we paid upfront it was only $20, so I’ll just get to the actual getting of the shot itself. For years, well, for 43 years, I had never gotten a flu shot. I guess I tend to go on the theory of trying not to keep my hands near my face, washing my hands a lot, and is it really good to put a dead virus inside my body on purpose, but last year during a routine visit to my doctor, she recommended getting the shot, that the flu was going to be bad, and that protection wasn’t a bad idea. Of course last year when I got the shot it turned out to be a pretty lame flu season, and they said the shot didn’t do much good anyway. Alas, this year they say the flu season sucks and that the shot actually works in keeping it at bay, so there I was, rolling up my sleeve and not passing out.

I’ll still be trying to wash my hands a lot, keep my hands aways from my face, and cross my fingers that the flu stays away, but in any case I plight: Did you get a flu shot yet?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do You Flash Your Lights to Signal Cars About a Speed Trap?

Where I live I have grown accustomed to the usual locations the police will use to set up a speed trap. I’m not that much of a lead-foot to begin with, in fact, on a trip years ago with a bunch of friends of mine, whenever a car would pass us up one of them would undoubtedly says something like “Grandma Moses just passed us up!” Today, though, while driving down the road, a car was coming at me flashing his lights. I suppose it was a nice reminder about a police officer parked up ahead in one of the normal speed-traps, but for me it was unnecessary and actually mostly annoying because the car in front of me decided that sure, he needed to slow down, but instead of going the prescribed 40 miles per hour he felt it necessary to drop down to 30, I suppose just in case the officer was looking to pull over someone for going the speed limit.

I know there were stories years ago about how flashing your lights could get you attacked by bad people, or that you can get pulled over by the police for flashing your lights (I guess this varies by state), but most people probably find it harmless, except for me who gets annoyed by the cars that now go slower than the posted speed limit. I have a time or two flashed my headlights at someone driving at night without their lights on, but I can say that’ I’ve never done it to signal a speed trap. As such I plight: Do you flash your lights to signal cars about a speed trap?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do You Own a Library Card?

I know this may sound crazy, but I don’t have a library card. Sure, I’m 45 years old, and I’m also wondering how many of you have one, but in a short plight, one of my goals this year is to actually get off my but, go to my local library, and get a library card. I know this might sound crazy, what in this day and age of iPads, Kindles, and Half Price Bookstores, but as I have started reading every now and then, I have also heard how libraries are now offering the ability to “borrow” eBooks, where, for a short period of time you get to “check out” an eBook, kinda like renting a book for your Kindle only it’s free, and then, after a few weeks, they automatically “return” your book to their “shelves” so that the next person can “borrow” the book.

It sounds like an interesting concept, I do wonder why, sometimes I actually buy a Kindle book when I pay good money for it and find out it kind of sucks (And don’t get me started on the “Try a sample” concept where at times I’ve done that only to find that the sample ends maybe one page into the actual book, leaving me to only read a lousy introduction and maybe see who the book was dedicated to.

So, we’ll see how this goal for 2013 goes, and right now when I answer my plight question the “No” box will be clicked, but I’m plighting: Do you own a library card?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Would you buy a reusable, plastic Starbucks cup?

I try to be environmentally friendly sometimes. I mean I don’t go crazy, and don’t really think recycling helps us all that much thanks to when Penn & Teller had a show called “Bullshit” and did an analysis of recycling, but I still have my green bin on garbage day and will keep my underwear until they fall apart. Okay, the latter part might be just because I’m a guy, but I’m also a guy that likes a Starbucks’ coffee, and I’m also a guy that thinks as much as Starbucks touts the “environmentally” friendly line, I also know they are a business, and a business has got to always find new sources of revenue. On their latest front is this promotion where you can give them a dollar and they will give you a plastic cup for your coffee instead of the paper one they normally give you. The magic thing about this cup is that you can reuse it, they will give you ten cents off of a cup of coffee if you come in with it, and they will even clean it for you. Here’s the thing, I want to know who actually ends up using this cup over the necessary ten times in which to make your investment worthwhile, especially when sure, it looks like a sturdy enough plastic cup, but will it survive ten, normal days of travel, as opposed to a sturdy, travel coffee mug that you can probably use for years unless you accidentally put it on top of your car and drive off with it rolling down the street behind you. And fine, you can say that if you use it just five times that you are helping reduce landfill waste somewhere, but really, is it worth the trouble especially as you are carrying this plastic cup with you all day, trying not to break it?

Fine, I’ll get off of my rant as you can probably guess I won’t be adding to Starbucks’ bottom line with the purchase of their plastic cup, but I plight: Would you buy a reusable, plastic Starbucks cup?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Should “The X Factor” Bring Back Britney Spears?

I’m a fan of “The X Factor.” I’m not sure why, but probably because I end up being a fan of most music shows, and fine, I’m a fan of Simon Cowell.  Oddly “The X Factor” hasn’t been able to catch hold here in the States, being topped by “The Voice” it seems this fall, and lots of people will blame the mentors, with Britney Spears seeming to get some of the blame this time, but I’m blaming a lot of it on the editing of the show itself, and way, way, way too much on the “Let’s visit with our contestant’s lives” montages.

The stories the past few days mostly, though, have to do with rumors that Britney is out, mostly because Simon didn’t find her wacky enough to bring in the ratings, that and the fact that behind the scenes she was really quite a pill to work with. I don’t know if I’m buying any of that, but I do have to say that it was the “mostly reserved” Britney that we were treated to, although she does have some of the best facial expressions out there for TV. As a mentor she wasn’t bad, heck, her contestant nearly won, but she lacked some of the confrontational fire I think people were hoping for.

Me, I’ve always been a fan of Paula Abdul, and I know, that reality show ship has sailed for her, but in terms of TV wacky, she was some of the best. I can’t say I’ll miss Britney if she does get the boot, but I will miss her scrunching face as she didn’t think an act was up to par.

And so I plight: Should “The X Factor” bring back Britney Spears?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Have You Ever Been to “Second Life?”

The other day I noticed an advertisement on my website for the site “Second Life.” Sure, the question might be “Why did I even notice a banner ad on a website?”, but I did. The thing is that it brought back memories of when I had a presence on Second Life. Okay, first, what is Second Life? I guess the easiest way to explain it is that it is a virtual world where you create a character that “lives” in this world. You can meet people, sell things, buy property, and just kind of “live” in your own little world. The thing is that it’s graphical, meaning your character looks like a person and your house can look like a house and you can gather in the local bar and “talk” to people. Back a few years I was DudeOnTheRight Mannonen, or something like that in the “world.” I owned a pretty big parcel of land that I was looking to transform into a virtual “Entertainment Ave!,” complete with a Movie Theater where you could sit and watch episodes of “Stu and The Dude Reviewing the Movies for You!.” It was kind of cool, but a lot of work to add as a sister location for Entertainment Ave!, and for the most part I didn’t have the time to maintain it.

Eventually I sold my land and closed my account, but the banner ad did make me remember nights of sitting in front of my computer, safe from the scariness of the real world, building a “life” that was different. Neat, but time consuming, and always making me wonder why I just didn’t go out to a bar and meet some real people.

The ad did trigger some memories, and so I plight: Have you ever been to “Second Life?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Did You Break Any of Your New Year’s Resolutions Yet?

I’m not big on New Year’s Resolution anymore, now I have goals. Okay, that’s pretty much the same thing, but it sounds better when you don’t reach a goal rather than break a resolution, I think, because once you break that resolution you can throw it away and just give up, whereas if you have a goal you just get back to continue reaching that goal, unless, of course, you made a goal like “I won’t smoke another cigarette in 2013,” then you smoke a cigarette, in which case that goal is shot.

My 2013 goals are similar to my 2012 goals, things like losing weight, saving money, exercising, and reading more, and since it’s only the first couple of days of 2013 I’m still pretty good with my 2013 goals. Sure, if I had lost all of the weight I wanted to lose, saved all of the money I wanted to, and set up that exercise plan I wouldn’t have the same goals this year, but alas, it’s a new year and the same goals, so I guess my main goal should be to actually finish my goals of 2013.  With that, and since maybe you made resolutions instead of goals, my daily plight is: Did you break any of your New Year’s resolutions yet?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Did You Get Drunk on New Year’s Eve?

It’s going to be an early night for me this New Year’s Eve, and not because I’m drunk. Yes there was a glass or two of champagne, but mostly it will be because of getting up at 4 AM this morning, and my wife having to work. I probably could have taken a nap, but missing the ball drop isn’t the worst thing about falling asleep early, it’s missing the Chicago party coverage with Janet Davies and Marc Giangreco on ABC 7 Chicago. It’s so much fun poking fun at the people in the crowds and, even knowing how hard they are working, how dorky the coverage is. Oh well, we DVR’d it so there will be some TV viewing in the morning, and although not hung over, I’m sure I’ll feel like I slept like crap mostly because of our dog, Milo. I’m guessing the first morning of 2013 will start like the last morning of 2012, with Milo waking us up wanting his breakfast.

And with that this first plight of the New Year is simply: Did you get drunk on New Year’s Eve?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!