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Vitality

MPAA Rated – Not rated.
It’s 0:55 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Vitality Movie Stats & Links
Starring:	Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Hyla Cass, Mari Winsor, Dr. Tim Brown
MPAA Rated:	Not rated.
Released By:	Virgil Films
Release Date:	October 29, 2013
Kiddie Movie:	Maybe if you want them to be a health nut, or they might find the poop and pee talk funny.
Date Movie:	If she is on a health kick.
Gratuitous Sex:	It’s a documentary, but there is talk about sex in the bedroom.
Gratuitous Violence:	Nah.
Action:	Nah.
Laughs:	I did laugh a lot during the fake commercial for “Suprato.”
Memorable Scene:	Nothing really.
Memorable Quote:	Nothing.
Directed By:	Pedram Shojai

Let me say, right off the bat, that the fake commercial for “Suprato” during the documentary “Vitality” was hilarious. That said, “Vitality,” being a documentary about health, doesn’t break new ground, but does reiterate a lot of common-sense ideas most people forget, stressing that our health system is messed up because, in general, it fights the problem with drugs instead of creating lifestyle changes, and that leading a healthy, vitality-filled life begins, for these documentarians, with four key points: Exercise, Diet, Sleep, and Mindset.

As the documentary goes along it touches on each of the subjects, with the diet-side being focused on the too-much sugar debate, that we should eat more veggies and drink more water, and the fact that the problem with most meat is actually the fact that the animals aren’t getting fed healthy diets, thereby passing along their own unhealthiness to us. Exercise delves around the fact that we sit around too much and need to move more, and in regards to sleep, the advice that the bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex sounds great in theory, but I’m guessing for many a people, with flat-screen TV’s on the wall across from the bed, neither spouse will end up parting with their nightly entertainment nor morning news.

The mindset area of the documentary lets us know that we need to deal with stress a little better, where oddly enough my mom’s advice of “Counting to ten” is actually similar to their advice of stepping back from a situation and letting your mind calm down so you can deal with things in a more rational manner.

For the most part the documentary doesn’t get too preachy, except for maybe the “You should shop at a Farmer’s Market because the food is healthier” segment, and it doesn’t get into too much, for no better way to put it, possible weirdness, at least until there is talk of the body’s “invisible energy field,” which, sure, might sound hokey, but who really knows?

Will “Vitalty” help you become the healthiest of persons? Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt reminding us all that there aren’t too many keys to living a healthy, vitality-filled life. The documentary isn’t going to win any cinematography awards as it is, to put it bluntly, not shot well, but I suppose this one is more about trying to tell its message rather than looking good.

If you need a reminder about living a healthy life, “Vitality” isn’t bad, but for the most part it’s nothing new or groundbreaking. For me it’s a 2 star out of 5 film. It probably could have gone up ½ star with a better look, and maybe another ½ for adding a little more substance, but the beginning where they are just spouting tons of statistics that can always be manipulated to fit your needs turned me off a bit from the start. I guess I wanted a little more from the movie, and that let me down.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

Are You a Speakerphone Person?

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Let me come right out and say that I’m not a speakerphone kind of guy. I don’t like using them, I don’t like being on the receiving end where the other person is on a speakerphone, and I guess this may translate poorly into the future when video phone calls might end up being a norm (which will suck even worse). Sure, I know in the car we are all supposed to be hands-free, which is supposedly better for safety (don’t even get me started on this rant), and I do my best to use my car’s speakerphone, but in the end I always find the calls disjointed, they never seem to be that clear, and the other day, when I was in an office, someone in a cubicle was on a speakerphone and it was just annoying as the speakerphone person always seem to think they need to talk a little louder, thereby annoying those around them, while the person on the other end probably forgets they are on the other side of the speakerphone, thereby their side of the conversation is being broadcast to the rest of this dude’s office.

Me, I prefer the old handset to the ear kind of thing, although the old days were a little easier when you could cradle the handset between your ear and your shoulder thus giving you handsfree-ness that still sounded great. With phones so small and thin this process has become increasingly difficult until we evolve as a species with our heads at 90 degree angles, or the phones implanted into our ears, so until then I guess we have to live with a crooked neck, or the speakerphone.

Remember if you are on the other side of a speakerphone call that you don’t know who might be listening, and I plight: Are you a speakerphone person?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Grabbers

MPAA Rated – Not rate.
It’s 1:34 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Grabbers Movie Stats & Links
Starring:	Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley
MPAA Rated:	Not rated.
Released By:	IFC Films
Release Date:	November 12, 2013
Kiddie Movie:	I think the young teen boys would find it funny, though there is some gratuitous, alien violence and drinking.
Date Movie:	If she likes quirky, horror movies.
Gratuitous Sex:	Nah.
Gratuitous Violence:	Just the alien octopus kind.
Action:	There’s a lot of running and chasing.
Laughs:	It’s got plenty.
Memorable Scene:	Figuring out how drunk you need to be to kill the aliens.
Memorable Quote:	“It’s always the quiet places where the weird shit happens.”
Directed By:	Jon Wright

Watching “Grabbers,” in addition to being entertained, I have to say I was almost shocked because this wasn’t some cheaply made, looks like a fake “We’re going to get eaten by this giant octopus thing that is actually an alien” movie that you might find on the late-night horror channel. Nope, this movie had some decent effects with the monsters, and sure, some dorkiness was involved, but it was all in good fun!

The movie opens with a meteor through the night sky and something splashing into the sea off the coast of Ireland. We are immediately pulled into the sinister nature of the movie when a fisherman finds his buddy getting impaled and pulled into the sea, and then, as is the case with many an alien-horror-kinda-comedy movie, strange things become afoot in the small village, that of course, will be shut off from the rest of the world by a storm thereby leaving the locals to fight the alien invasion/monsters on their own.

Enter Lisa (Ruth Bradley). She’s the new police officer in the fishing village and is learning the ropes by the fun, usually drunk officer O’Shea (Richard Coyle). Not much happens in this town, but when a whale washes on shore looking like it went through a blender, a lobsterman catches what looks like an octopus that subsequently attacks him, and a quirky scientist realizes said “octopus” is really an alien, we know our little town is in peril. And, of course, with this being a horrorish film, there is no “I must send this out on the internet to show the world” moment. Nope, instead it’s our heroes beating the monster and trying to set it on fire.

Oddly enough our heroes discover the alien can travel on land if it’s raining (of course a giant storm is coming), and also the weakness of the aliens who normally survive on water and human blood, but oddly enough, are allergic to blood with a high enough alcohol content. Lucky for the human race the aliens started their journey in Ireland, where the stereotypical, Irish drunkards are plentiful, thereby not letting the aliens get a stranglehold on us, but to save the town, our officers do have to organize a party for the locals at the pub, which, of course, isn’t too difficult.

Look, “Grabbers” is exactly what it sets out to be, and is highly entertaining at it. It’s got some dorky moments (think decapitations by the aliens), it’s got drunk, Irish people, it’s got the goody-two-shoes girl who discovers alcohol, and it’s got a good time for those in search of a decent “alien octopus discovers it shouldn’t have landed in Ireland” horror movie kind of way. Is the movie “Oscar” gold? Of course not, but if you want some good, horror fun, that might give you a shock or two with a surprise impaling, “Grabbers” is a great find. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Grabbers,” being exactly what it is trying to be, and not being too low-budget looking to turn it into too many “Oh, come on!” moments.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dealin’ With Idiots

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:27 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dealin’ With Idiots Movie Stats & Links
Starring:	Jeff Garlin, Nia Vardalos, Bob Odenkirk, Gina Gershon, Timothy Olyphant, J.B. Smoove, Jami Gertz
MPAA Rated:	Not rated.
Released By:	IFC Films
Release Date:	November 12, 2013
Kiddie Movie:	Lots of adult humor and some swearing. Put them to bed.
Date Movie:	My wife liked the parts she didn’t sleep through.
Gratuitous Sex:	Nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence:	Nah.
Action:	Nah.
Laughs:	I chuckled and laughed from start to finish.
Memorable Scene:	Hans running the bases.
Memorable Quote:	She’s just a big bowl of “Dear God!”
Directed By:	Jeff Garlin
Cool things about the DVD:	Nothing.

During “Dealin’ With Idiots” there is a point in the movie when one of the characters is intrigued that Max (Jeff Garlin) will be making a documentary about their little league baseball team, even though Max’s intention is to make a comedy based on the various “characaters/parents” at his son’s events. The thing is, after watching the movie, it might as well have been a documentary instead of a comedy because sure, maybe the character antics are dialed up a notch or two, but if you have ever been to a little league game lately, or heard the stories, I’m guessing the difference between the “real” and the “comedy” isn’t much different.

Let’s get to the movie…

Max is a comedian. He’s kind of famous, or at least he says he is up there in the top twenty of comedians. He’s also having some father/son bonding by hanging with his son, Jack (Max Wright), at his little league games and practices. While in the stands, watching the various parents, he sees comedy gold in a movie based on the parents. With his new-found inspiration, Max decides he needs to do his research by interviewing the various parents, finding out what makes them tick so to speak, all the while reflecting in a series of “moments” with his own father, about raising a son and baseball.

Max begins his research, and we are taken deeper into the lives of the parents and the coaches, finding out things like Coach Ted (J.B. Smoove) lives quirkingly in a trailer park with his own odd groups of friends and their “book” club, that Coach Jimbo (Bob Odenkirk) runs a printing shop and doesn’t follow his own coaching advice, and Hezekiah (Steve Agee) decides to do research of his own in order to write his own movie about little league baseball. I’d say it would be easy to round out the rest of the “idiots,” but that might ruin the movie. Let’s just says there are lesbians with wonderful parenting advice (Mom: “What does mommy always tell you?” Son: “Go big or go home?” Mom: “Don’t fuck up.”, a “She’s just a big bowl of ‘Dear God’” nanny, the self-proclaimed “Team Mom” who keeps asking for donations and doesn’t know her husband subscribes to S.O.F. (Soldier of Fortune), and Marty (the always great Fred Willard) who has the coolest chair ever, shaped like a baseball mitt. And, of course, there is the normal mom, Max’s wife Ava (Nia Vardalos), who becomes just like the rest of them when it’s time for the game that can take the team to the playoffs.

The movie plays out like a Christopher Guest mockumentary (think “Best in Show”), with Max “interviewing” everyone, but it also has a touching side with the moments of Max and his father (Timothy Olyphant), and with that comment, if you like the “Best in Show” style of humor, or “Curb Your Enthusiasm” for that matter, you will probably like the movie. Me, I found it a quirky and funny look at the nuttiness that can be the parents involved with their children and their sports, and I’m also thinking if you like baseball, and you aren’t one of the “idiots” at your kid’s events, you will find the movie funny. If, however, you are the “idiot,” you will probably wonder, “What’s so funny?”

My wife, who was dead tired and fell asleep while we watched the movie, said, “What I saw was pretty good.” Me, I kept laughing and chuckling throughout the entire film, trying not to wake her. I was originally going to go with 3 ½ stars out of 5, but then I remembered one scene with Hans (Robert de Keyser) and it made me remember a time we almost got our buddy, Big Cooter, to run around a baseball field during a game, and I’ve got to up the rating a bit. With that it’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Dealin’ With Idiots.” Hopefully you’re not one of the “idiots.”

And, oh yea, I almost forgot the antics of the nutty assistant (there’s an extra scene at the end of the credits – kind of weird), so yes, it’s a solid 4 stars for me.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Notice Floss Thingies a Lot?

They’re called “Dental Floss Picks” on the Oral B website, or as I call them, “Floss Thingies,” or as I also call them, “gross litter.” The confusing thing about the Oral B site is that in the top paragraph they discuss how floss picks are a great alternative to dental floss, that they are easier to use to floss your back teeth instead of wrapping dental floss around your fingers, and that “there’s a bonus—the other end of a floss pick features a small plastic pick that can be used instead of a wooden toothpick to remove large food particles that can get caught along the gum line or between the teeth.” But then, as if to contradict itself, at the end of the page, under “Avoid Using Toothpicks,” it states, “Don’t use a toothpick to clean your teeth. Despite the name, a toothpick is not designed for dental cleaning, and it could break off and become stuck between your teeth”

I’m not sure why I ended up on that little rant about floss picks, or at least my analysis of the Oral B website, but what I do know is that I somehow have a knack of spotting those little floss picks everywhere, and it really grosses me out. Sure, I’m all for the benefit of flossing your teeth, my mom flossed her teeth all of her life and in a testament to good oral hygiene had her full set of teeth when she died, but what confuses me at times is the proliferation of the litter that is caused by the floss picks, and my ability to spot them. I guess I also don’t realize that they are so popular, which is probably good for the floss pick industry and making dentists happy, but seriously, are you that person who, in a random parking lot at a day care center, at the post office, at the gas station, at the Wal Mart, decides “I have some food in my teeth” or “I feel the need to floss right now” and pull out the floss pick, do some cleaning that will help promote healthier teeth and gums, and then decide “What am I going to do with this dental pick? I know, I’m going to toss it on the ground so that The Dude on the Right can be grossed out!”

Maybe I need to look up more instead of down at my feet, and sure this plight could have simply been about if you are a dental pick user, but as I saw one the other day on the ground at the post office, I couldn’t help but plight: Do you notice floss thingies a lot?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

How’s Your Football Team Doing?

It’s hard to believe. My how the year flies by. There’s no looking back. Time flies when you’re having fun. Where has the year gone?

I guess I could throw out a few more cliches about how we look back and suddenly realize a year, season, month, day, hour has gone by, but I did just that the other day thinking about this football season. I know, it’s a little weird in respect to a football season, but as it’s past the middle of October, and I was thinking about it, the NFL regular season is nearly half over. Sure, there are the playoffs and Super Bowl that extend things another month or so, but here we are, past week seven of the 17 week/16 game season, and I’m at a weird point of still being half wrapped-up into my teams, and half thinking they’ve both got no chance to make my football season continue into the playoffs.

My teams are the Cleveland Browns and the Chicago Bears. I’ve got the Browns because I grew up in Lorain, OH, just outside of Cleveland, and I’ve got the Bears because I’ve now lived in the Chicago area longer than I lived in Ohio. Both teams show flashes of goodness, and then, just when hopes get a little higher, both teams show a blast of reality, especially after the past weekend with Jay Cutler confirming he has a groin, and the Browns confirming they don’t have a quarterback. The thing is, depending on the next run of about five games moves on, I may be at a very weird position of not knowing which team to cheer on as, and it doesn’t happen that often in the regular season, the Bears play the Browns on December 15th in a game that just might have playoff implications for both teams, although, by then, both teams may have achieved total suckiness, thereby making the game just another December football game to watch because, well, they are your team, and you watch them until the end of the season.

My teams are both teetering at this stage of the season, but I’m just wondering how your team is doing, and so I plight: How’s your football team doing?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Are you paying attention to the MLB baseball playoffs?

Yes, I know, the title of this plight technically reads “Are you paying attention to the Major League Baseball baseball playoffs?”, but much like going to the ATM machine is redundant, it just reads a little better. In any case, it wasn’t until yesterday when I went to turn on “The X Factor,” and I know, I’m probably one of about ten people still watching the show, but there it was, the MLB playoffs. I’m not really sure what teams were playing because, as you might be able to guess, I haven’t been paying attention to baseball much this year. Sure, there was a little interest as the Cleveland Indians were teasing Tribe fans with a potential playoff run, only to lose in the wild-card game, and Lord knows the Cubs and White Sox are on the road to, well, suckiness right now, but football is here, my Cleveland Browns were surprising people until reality set in, and the Chicago Bears keep showing glimpses of busting out, only to relapse back into Chicago sports suckiness again.

Yet, there they are, going on, the MLB playoffs, interrupting my Simon Cowell fix and my continually complaining to my wife how I can’t stand Paulina Rubio on “The X Factor,” how she comes off as a bad Shakira ripoff from “The Voice,” and how I’m betting the boy competitors are pissed she is their mentor. As it stands I totally forgot about baseball until I tried to watch something else, and so I plight: Are you paying attention to the MLB baseball playoffs?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Prefer Your Cereal Soggy or Crunchy?

Count Chocula at the local Meijer. As I poured the last of my stash of Count Chocula into the bowl, I was surprised to realize I didn’t stock up as much as I did in previous years, where I have been known to wipe out the shelves of my local store in order to be able to enjoy the chocolaty goodness for months and months. As much as I would say it’s probably better that I switch back to Cheerios (though only marginally, especially when it comes to Honey Nut Cheerios), or maybe even an egg and some grainy bread, there is something about eating what is supposed to be a children’s cereal that helps me continue to feel like I’m 12.

It’s kind of weird, though, how food preferences, or maybe I should say something like food preparation preferences can change, as I used to be a fan of the soggy cereal. I would soak it in a bath of milk, not be afraid to let it set on the counter or table and soak up the milky goodness, and then barely have to chew in order to swallow whatever sugary mix of “health” was now in my bowl. Oddly enough, as I’ve gotten older, my choice has changed, as this morning with my last bowl of The Count, I put barely a splash of milk in the bowl and did my best to eat my breakfast quickly so the bats and squishy marshmallows didn’t become a gooey mess. Somehow I’ve switched from a soggy to a crunchy cereal kind of guy.

And so, with my Halloween celebrating officially done (Okay, I might pick up another box or two of the Monster Cereal while they’re still available), I plight: Do you prefer your cereal soggy or crunchy?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Think Warren Buffet Would Start a Chain Letter?

It’s been going around for years, at least in some version, and it starts something like, “Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list…”, and then there is the text of a purported, proposed Constitutional Amendment asking for Congressional reform.

This email goes around and then gets forwarded by lots of people on Facebook just about every time our wonderful members of Congress seem to get their panties all in a bunch and can’t seem to agree, or get along, or get work done. There is a lot of finger-pointing, a bunch of name-calling, and along with that a lot of people complaining about congress, wanting something done, and then forgetting the mess come election time. This time it’s going around thanks to the government shutdown, the closing of memorials so even Veterans can’t visit, and the impending “hitting the debt ceiling” which seems to come around every year lately.

The thing is people seem to have a short memory as this email, according to Snopes, has been circulating in one form or another since 2009, and then enhanced when yes, Warren Buffet did do an interview on CNBC commenting about how members of Congress should be ineligible for re-election when there is a deficit problem. The thing is, since the Buffet quote about the 3% deficit problem is technically true, Snopes lists the quote as “True”, but I’m going to guess most people fail to read the rest of the Snopes analysis detailing the falseness with the rest of the email, and the supplemental link to the deconstructing of the proposed amendment and most importantly, whether or not Warren Buffet asked people to share the email.

I used to tell people when they forward things that they are fake, or partially fake in this case, but most of the times they just seem mad that I corrected them, sometimes write back something like “Well, he should have said this.”, or just don’t care, so I’ve pretty much tried to stop the urge to tell people to stop forwarding things that aren’t true. I was going to plight more along the lines of “Do you care if you send emails that aren’t true?”, but I’ve found most people don’t care, so instead I’m going with “Do you think Warren Buffet would start a chain letter?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Curse of Chucky

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Curse of Chucky Movie Stats & Links
Starring:	Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Brennan Elliott, Maitland McConnell, Summer Howell
MPAA Rated:	R / Unrated
Released By:	Unviersal 1440 Entertainment
Blu-ray Release Date:	October 8, 2013
Kiddie Movie:	Only if you want them afraid of every doll.
Date Movie:	If she likes the horror!
Gratuitous Sex:	Some girl-on-girl action, but no nudity.
Gratuitous Violence:	Umm, duh.
Action:	Some chasing.
Laughs:	Achuckle in a horror-movie type.
Memorable Scene:	I loved the death scene with the priest.
Memorable Quote:	“Yea, the eighties were awesome.”
Directed By:	Don Mancini
Cool things about the Blu-ray:	The “Voodoo Doll: The Chucky Legacy” and “Living Doll” Bringing Chucky to Life” featurettes are great.

He is the doll that won’t die. Yes, Chucky has been terrorizing people for 25 years now, has seen many iterations since the original “Child’s Play” movie, has sometimes been horror and sometimes horredy, but for “Curse of Chucky” the evil doll is back in all of his evilness, the franchise is back into horror mode, and dammit, I enjoyed it in all its Blu-ray glory.

The story is basically the same, this time starting with the arrival of a delivery at an old house where Nica (Fiona Dourif), she being in a wheelchair, lives with her mom. Yup, it’s a creepy-looking doll, and neither of them think anything of it, and then mom ends up dead. Sure, I could have yelled “SPOILER ALERT,” but really, it’s a Chucky movie, so do I really need to warn you about people ending up dead?

In any case, with mom’s death here comes the rest of the family to support Nica, and convince her she needs to move out of the house. Of course there is a little girl involved who doesn’t find the Chucky doll creepy, of course more people start dying, of course it’s a stormy night, sadly there’s not the obligatory nudity but there is some girl-on-girl action and underwear, of course Nica eventually finds out that it is the Chucky doll doing the killing, and yes, the movie finishes where the franchise can easily continue should they want to keep horror, and the doll, alive.

Is the acting Oscar-worthy? Please, it’s a Chucky movie, although actually everyone does a great job as either the clueless-dude roll (Brennan Elliott as Ian), bimbo roll (Maitland McConnell as Jill), little kid roll (Summer Howell as Alice), and evil (Brad Dourif as Charles Lee Ray and the Voice of Chucky). Something else that is nice is that with the movie being the Chucky franchise, there is actually some money spent on effects, the movie visually looks great, and not a cheap, horror film, and we get some well-done horror music. Then there is Chucky himself, who has come a long way in terms of realism, well, for as real as a doll should act, since the initial “Child’s Play” film as yes, the animatronics are pretty impressive as Chucky just looks a lot meaner rather than cartoon-like Chucky you might remember.

Forget Chucky getting in on with another doll, forget tons of cheesiness, and relish in horror goodness that treats the franchise with the respect a scarred-up, 25 year-old doll deserves. “Curse of Chucky” is horror goodness, there’s a nice surprise at the end, and it’s 4 stars out of 5. Had the girl-on-girl action involved a nip-slip or at least some side-boobage I could have easily seen me getting to 4 ½ or 5 star horrorness, but alas, I’m leaving it at 4.

The Blu-ray combo pack gives fans of Chucky a great look at the history of the franchise with “Voodoo Doll: The Chucky Legacy,” and if you want to know how Chucky looks so awesome, check out the “Living Doll: Bringing Chucky to Life” featurette. The gag reel is a throw-away as far as I’m concerned, but all in all, a decent Blu-ray set of features.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!