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Would you ever clip your nails in a church?

So I’m in church as I’m wont to do on a Sunday morning a while ago, with my head bowed down in reverent prayer. Okay, it’s before mass has started, I’ve said a quick prayer, and now the A.D.D. in me is letting my mind wander and look around, noticing the flowers on the alter, scoping out what some people are wearing, and checking out what songs are set to be sung in the “follow-along-with-the-mass” handout (I’m becoming a fan of John Angotti). For this mass my wife and I are in the front row for the section which does leave some extra space to stretch your legs a bit, and then I spot it, out of the corner of my eye. No, it’s not someone in in bad shoes, it’s a toenail. Yup, there on the ground, gross as can be, a toenail. I start to get the heebeegeebees, look around the floor a little more, and yup, there’s a second! Ewwwwww!

After my initial grossness I do what every husband would probably do, I nudge my wife and point out the toenails to her. She, of course, isn’t as grossed out as I would hope, says they look more like fingernails than toenails, and comes up with some cockamamie explanation of someone trimmed their nails, probably wrapped them in a tissue and put them in their pocket or purse for disposal later, and then when the person needed something out of their pocket or purse, the clippings fell out.

Me, I envisioned some heathen, taking off their shoes before mass, pulling out the nail clippers, and giving themselves a pedicure right there, in the pew, before mass started, letting the clippings fly all over the church, but such is my mind.

I was careful not to step on the clippings when I got out of the pew, watched people waking by to see if any of them would step on the clippings, and then decided my plight: Would you ever clip your nails in church?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you hope to live to at least 100 years old?

It’s my 100th Daily Plight post! Sure, they haven’t all been daily, but 100 is still some kind of milestone! And speaking of milestones, for a person, making it to 100 years old seems like the ultimate milestone, or at least a good one.

I don’t know anyone directly who has made it to 100, nor anyone who has been congratulated by Willard Scott on the Today Show, but my family generally makes it pretty long, with my dad getting to 79 and my mom to 82, although I think my mom could have easily made 90 had she not been a smoker. My Aunt Ang right now probably has the best shot at 100 of most people I know alive right now, having eclipsed 90 a while back, and although her eyesight isn’t the greatest any longer, she still boasts of mowing her own lawn and taking care of her daughter’s dogs. My wife’s family also seems to be a long-living bunch of octogenarians, so it looks like her and I will have many more wonderful years of wedded bliss!

Technology as it gets better and better is probably leading us to days when more and more people will be making it to 100 years, although sometimes I think people wonder if those last few years will be worth it, but I think, for the most part, that even if you are 99% sure you will be making it to Heaven, or your version of the “good life afterlife,” it’s that 1% of doubt of what lies beyond that keeps you not really wanting to leave the living, but as Steve Jobs said, “… death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.”

I’m pretty sure asking a plight if you know anyone over 100 would lead to limited responses in the affirmative, but as I’m at my 100th plight, I’m plighting: Do you hope to live to at least 100 years old?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you shoot off fireworks that are illegal where you live?

Happy 4th of July! The day we celebrate our independence, the day dogs hate the most thanks to fireworks, and the day before we will hear stories about people who blew off various body parts or maybe lost an eye, fires that started because of a wayward bottle rocket, and people not getting arrested for having illegal fireworks.

Me, I do like a good fireworks display, and I remember being a little kid and being able to buy cooler fireworks, you know, the bottle rockets, roman candles, and larger rockets, in Ohio, that was as long as you signed a piece of paper that said you were going to take them out of state to shoot off. “Yea, that’s right. We’re taking them out of state.”

Fireworks rules are pretty stupid, now, I suppose, what with various states having them legal, others having them banned, others with the “taking them out of state” law, and people rarely being arrested or charged with having them, especially if they shoot them off near the 4th. Here in Chicago you hear of tons of stories of people hopping across the border to Indiana to places like Phantom Fireworks, Krazy Kaplans, and Uncle Sam’s, and every now and then the occasional story of Illinois police watching for people crossing the border to buy fireworks, then bringing them back to Illinois, only to have their 4th of July celebration ruined by the police sting.

Sure, you can buy some cheesy fireworks at the local store most of the time. You know the kind, the black block that turns into a snake, the lame sparkler that is two inches long instead of the ones that are about two feet, and the things that spins around like a flying saucer, but there is something rebellious about shooting off fireworks you aren’t supposed to, and I suppose for this 4th of July I just suggest you all be safe out there, and don’t look down the tube of a firework that didn’t go off.

But for this plight, as we’re getting ready to put Milo’s Thundershirt for the day, I wonder: Do you shoot off fireworks that are illegal where you live?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

6 Souls

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:42 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

6 Souls
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Julianne Moore, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Anchor Bay Entertainment
Released On: July 2, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them creeped out by old witches and people with multiple personalities.
Date Movie: It’s probably pretty good for snuggling with your mate.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s got some pretty good gruesomeness.
Action: Some chasing and breaking glass.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: The scenes with the creepy witch.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Mans Marlind, Mjorn Stein

Unless I give away the ending it’s hard to explain why I was pretty much enjoying “6 Souls” for the most part up until the last ten-ish minutes of the film, so I guess for now I’ll just say I was pretty much enjoying “6 Souls” for the most part, up until the last ten-ish minutes of the film. Maybe I’ll expound on that a little later, in which, here’s the proverbial “Spoiler Alert” warning, but for starters let’s get to the story.

In “6 Souls” we get the always-awesome Julianne Moore. She’s Dr. Cara Harding, a psychiatrist lady who’s having a hard time after her husband dies. Her dad, though, trying to get her back in the game, brings along Adam (Jonathan Rhys Meyers). Adam, it seems, is harboring a bunch of personalities inside of him, with one of them easily being called up when he answers a phone.  The thing is it’s not just a personality that Adam seems to have, but Adam actually mentally and verbally turns into the personality, who happen to be murder victims.

At first, of course, the good Doctor figures Adam has just read up on the murder victims, figures out their quirks and mannerisms, and then is able to channel the victims as different personalities. It isn’t until Dr. Harding brings along the mother of one of the murder victims that Adam channels, and Adam knows things that only the son would have known, that now she thinks something else, something mystical, something spiritual might be afoot.

The problem is that Adam begins meeting up with more and more people in Dr. Harding’s life, including her daughter, and as this isn’t really a case of multiple personalities as it is a case of possession, and now her family is deathly involved.

As it goes Dr. Harding’s  research takes her to more-than-rural America, to shacks in the back of the woods where the scary people live, and yet, our fair Doctor finds out the truth about Adam, but sadly it might be a little too late for…

Okay, I’m not going to give it away, but I will say that Hollywood cliffhanger mode came in to full play for the ending of the movie, setting up a possible sequel, I’m sure if the money is right, instead of going for a better mode of closure, and the true crushing of Dr. Harding’s spirit, which is how I would have ended the movie.

For the most part, though, ending aside, everyone is pretty fantastic in the movie. Julianne Moore, well, enough said – She could take the roll of a porn star and make it awesome. Oh wait, she did. The rest of the cast, especially Jonathan Rhys Meyers, does well, also, and kudos for Jonathan for actually pulling off great jobs as multiple roles, what with him having the multiple personalities and all. Then there are the creepy folks, especially Joyce Feurring as the witch and Katiana Davis as her helper girl.

As a thriller “6 Souls” is pretty good, even if some of the movie is standard fair, and even if it doesn’t offer too many surprises. I would have preferred the bad guy’s soul being sucked out of him and stored on a shelf for safe keeping as an ending, instead of the one we ended up with, but I guess I can’t have it all. It’s 3 ½ stars out of 5 for “6 Souls.” It could have easily ended up a 4 starrer for me with a different finish.

As far as the Blu-ray, there’s nothing special. Get this one for some creepiness on a night to snuggle with your honey.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Would you describe an address of 20500 as “twenty five hundred” or “two zero five zero zero?”

The number is pretty simple: 20500

Sure, you would think there should be a comma there, as in 20,500, but it’s a street address and not a counting number.

Still pretty simple, right?

The complexity comes in, however, in how you want to describe that number to other people, namely people who might be trying to find the address, and the person I’m thinking of seems to have a hard time understanding why people can’t locate her address sometimes. I found it odd, also, until I heard her describe the address as “twenty five hundred.” Sure, there’s a twenty at the beginning of the address, and it ends in five hundred, but in my head, and in what it seems the heads of most of the people she directs to her office, they all consider her “twenty five hundred” as 2500 on the address range thereby falling short of finding the address by lots and lots of block. The thing is that it’s not the first time I’ve heard someone reference this particular address as “twenty five hundred,” and have a misdirection because of it, but I’m wondering where that comes from, as in my head the address is orated “two zero five zero zero,” or in lazier form, “two oh five oh oh.”

It makes me wonder what the rest of you might call it, so my plight is this: Would you describe an address of 20500 as “twenty five hundred” or “two zero five zero zero?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have You Ever Been in a Parade?

It’s that time of year again as we approach the 4th of July, and I’m not talking about the time to blow off fireworks. Nope, I’m talking about parade time. The Memorial Day parades have come and gone, Chicago just had its Gay Pride Parade, and with the 4th of July there will be a plethora of parades for all to see should they want to be a part of them. Me, for the longest time, I have always been the parade observer, at least back when I was a little tyke and went to parades, and for around 30 years wouldn’t really go near a parade, not even those celebrating my winning teams in Cleveland (Oh, wait. There aren’t any.), nor the celebrations in Chicago for their countless, or at least a few, championship seasons.

I guess after a time I really didn’t care about parades, until, well, I found myself a paradee instead of the parader. As part of my duty as a mascot, suddenly I found myself seated on top of a convertible, cruising through a local downtown, and loving it. The thing about being in a mascot outfit, especially at a parade, is that you feel like a rock star. The kids love you because, as opposed to sometimes when you are up close to them and scaring the bejesus out of them, it’s all about the love. They’re waving, calling to you, and just thinking you are the best, and me, soaking it all in, I’m up there on the convertible, bouncing to the music blaring from the stereo, trying to wave and “connect” to each and every one of my new fans, and thinking parades are the best. There is no better feeling than uber-adoration from throngs of fans at a parade, as long as you don’t remember that in about 10 seconds whomever is behind you in the parade has now become your “fans” best friends.

And so, as we approach the 4th of July, I’m wondering and I plight: Have you ever been in a parade?

Fred Won’t Move Out

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:15 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Fred Won’t Move Out
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Elliott Gould, Judith Roberts, Mfoniso Udofia, Fred Melamed, Stephanie Roth Haberle
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: Virgil Films
Released On: June 11, 2013
Kiddie Movie: It’s about parents getting old and dying. Put the kids to bed.
Date Movie: Put her to bed, too.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Nope.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Some attempts at a “pussy” joke. And, oh yea, the line by my “assistant.”
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: From my assistant at the end of the movie: “What, did they run out of money?”
Directed By: Richard Ledes
Cool things abou the DVD: Nothing.

The press release stated “Told with both humor and wistfulness,” and the DVD packaging “With levity and sadness.” These were descriptions for the movie “Fred Won’t Move Out” upon which I sold viewing the movie to my assistant reviewer on a Saturday night. “Sure, Honey,” I said, “It’s probably got some sad and depressing moments, what with the movie being about an older couple, dad Fred struggling to walk and mom Susan having Alzheimer’s, but it’s supposed to have some humor and levity, too.” That and the fact that I told her if the movie was that bad, it was only an hour and fifteen minutes, so it won’t last that long.

And so we watched “Fred Won’t Move Out,” I kept wondering where the levity was, the best humor was a line by my assistant at the end of the movie, “What, did they run out of money?”, and although some rather fine acting by Elliott Gould and Judith Roberts was throughout the film I couldn’t help but be happy the movie was only an hour and fifteen minutes.

“Fred Won’t Move Out,” as somewhat stated earlier,” works to tell the story of a family, brother Bob (Fred Melamed) and sister Carol (Stephanie Roth Haberle), dealing with their elderly parents Fred and Susan. It’s a small snapshot of a few weeks towards the end of the parent’s lives when it’s time for Susan to definitely be put in an assisted living facility as her Alzheimer’s is reaching the advanced stages, Fred really needs more help as his walking ability is fading fast and he is becoming senile, and the work is becoming too much for the live-in caregiver, Victoria (Mfoniso Udofia) to handle. It’s up to Bob and Carol to convince Fred that it’s time to face the reality of getting older, and that although he doesn’t want to leave the house he has lived in for years with Susan, that it’s really for the best, and it’s really time to accept Susan’s condition, as well as his own.

The movie spotlights many of the internal struggles the family is dealing with, as well as Bob trying to deal with his own failings as a filmmaker. There are a lot of mentally tough scenes to deal with as a viewer, especially of Susan showing many of the ravages of Alzheimer’s, and Elliot Gould is fantastic as the elder husband not really understanding what is going on sometimes, especially with his wife, and her inability to function as he remembers. There is one especially touching scene when a second Bob (Robert Miller), a music therapist, comes to sing some songs to bring comfort to Susan, and the family is together, singing songs, and for a few minutes it’s like things are back to normal.

Don’t get me wrong, the acting by Elliott Gould and Judith Roberts is fantastic, and yes, it’s a tough story to try to tell, but truthfully, at least for me, don’t watch this movie for any levity nor humor as the couple of attempts might bring a chuckle or grin, but this is truly a serious look at a brother and sister dealing with their elderly parents.

And then there is the ending.

Yes, the movie is only an hour and fifteen minutes, but as the movie ended, and I won’t ruin it for you, my wife, I mean assistant, blurted out “What, did they run out of money?” Why? Because I’m sure there was some deep-seeded meaning to the ending scene, and maybe I missed part of conversation that took place earlier in the film that would explain it, but with Fred, Bob, Carol, and Victoria out on the back patio of the house, calling out towards the woods, the movie ended. No real closure, no real answer, and no real ending.

“Fred Won’t Move Out” is an indie-style film, filmed in the childhood home of the writer-director Richard Ledes, and the movie really looks like it. There are a lot of shaky camera movements, a lot of “trying to be artsy” camera shots, and a lot of scenes that could do better by a soundstage, but thankfully the acting of Elliott and Judith carry the film otherwise I would have been shooting for a rating of 1/2 star. Instead I’ll give the movie 2 stars out of 5. I suppose it should be 1 ½ star with the ending it gave me, but I’ll stick with the 2 stars. No real humor, no real levity, but if you do want to laugh just think of what my wife said as the credits started, “What, did they run out of money?”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

23:59

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:18 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

23:59
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ted Chan, Stella Chung, Philip Hersh, Henley Hill, Susan Leong
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Magnolia Home Entertainment
Released On: June 4, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Nope, it’s horror-ish.
Date Movie: Only if she wants to be bored for an hour, and then finally creeped out.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope, it’s not your American horror film.
Gratuitous Violence: Some gross scenes mostly, and leftover people hanging.
Action: It tries to be creepy.
Laughs: The fight scene between the recruits.
Memorable Scene: I did like when we finally see the deformed child.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stands out.
Directed By: Gilbert Chan
Cool Things About the DVD: Nothing special but it does have a “Making of” featurette.

Sometimes I should read an entire press release before getting a movie to review, and at first when I started watching “23:59” I thought I would be frustrated because the movie started with subtitles while the folks on the screen were speaking in Mandarin, and I was not in the mood to “read” a movie. Then, I read the release and low and behold, “23:59” features an English dub, along with original Mandarin, English, and Spanish subtitles.” Sweet, watching a movie just like the old “Godzilla” films! A setting change here, and I was set for some creepy, horror, goodness.

Or so I thought.

Let’s start with the basics of the movie…

“23:59” says it’s based on a true story, and maybe some of the aspects of it are true, but really it’s based upon any story of people at any camp, whether it be a camp for kids, a day camp sleepover, camping in the wilderness, or in this case, a group of army recruits at military camp on a “haunted” island. Why based on any story at camp, do I say? Because every camp has a creepy story, a legend if you will, that is intended to scare the campers to be wary of falling asleep and wonder if that bump you hear in the night is the ghost of the creepy lady who wants to kill you.

This movie, however, expands on the story aspect and makes the legend true, with the legend based around a deformed child, a demented old woman, and a recruit being found dead at, yup, 23:59 (that’s one minute before midnight for you non-military time people). Then weirder things start happening like possessed recruits, creepy noises, mysterious scratches, and seeming scariness, only it isn’t really that scary as the acting is pretty lousy and ruins a lot of the horror aspect (I reference a scene with some of the worst “fighting” between recruits, and sure, some of the anger may have been lost in the English translation, but the swings being thrown were closer to a cat-fight between girls rather than military dudes trying to beat the crap out of each other).

As the movie plods along you get the proverbial scene of the military officers knowing what might be going on, then the non-proverbial scene of calling in a medium to find out if the dead are possessing the living, the recruits going on a hike during the middle of the night even though the officers know this might not be a good idea, what with creepy woman being around, and a recruit whose father used to “talk” to the dead.

So, yea, what I’m saying is that as I’m watching the movie I’m pretty bored, actually chuckle at times, and was all set to give the movie one, maybe one and half stars, for being a pretty bad horror movie.

Then, finally, the story came together, and uber-creepiness, actually sending some chills up my spine, came around when we finally were introduced to the deformed child, and some enhanced demented old woman goodness. I don’t know why I was actually creeped out, but it would have helped, I suppose, by focusing the movie a little more on the deformed child story, rather than the generic, “horror” things happening at camp aspect.

The movie was a lot of set-up and bad horror flicking until the climactic scene, which for me is the only thing that saved it, so as hard as it might be to stick with the first hour of the movie, stick around for the last 18 minutes (Yup, it’s only 78 minutes long), and you might find the creepiness you were hoping for. With that, I’ll add one star to my original thought of a rating and give “23:59” 2 ½ stars out of 5. Laugh at the bad acting, and maybe get some spine-tingly goodness at the end.

On the DVD there is a “Making Of” feature that is okay, and is a nice look at how the movie came together, but in the end it just goes along with the rest of my thought of the movie missing out on the main aspect of the film – the creepy woman and the deformed kid.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Just Like Being There

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:23 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Just Like Being There
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Daniel Danger, Jay Ryan, Kevin Tong
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: Virgil Films
Release Date: June 4, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if they want to learn a little something about art and concert posters. There’s also some bad words better left for when they’re older or on the playground with their friends.
Date Movie: Ditto.
Gratuitous Sex: Um, no.
Gratuitous Violence: Um, no.
Action: Um, no.
Laughs: Some of the people are kind of quirky.
Memorable Scene: I was fascinated at the look at the artists who still did nearly all of their work by hand.
Memorable Quote: “I tried to paint and I’m shit at it”“The history books will tell what happened, but the art will tell them how we felt about it.”
Directed By: Scout Shannon
Cool things about the DVD: Actually some of the deleted scenes were interesting, and the expanded band interviews were pretty cool.

And here I always thought they were some kind of ground, marketing campaign by a record company to advertise a show, and in my head a weird type of marketing campaign only to be seen by a select few who might be driving near a concert venue. I’m talking about concert posters, or “gig” posters as they are sometimes called, and they are those posters, usually with some giant text and cool artwork, that if you live in the small city have probably only seen in the movies, but if you live in any larger city, near a concert venue, will see them used almost like wallpaper along a wall, usually plastered on construction barriers and such, whenever a “cooler” kind of band comes to town. Little did I know that most of the time those posters are made by local artists, saluting bands they love or bands that inspire them, and the documentary “Just Like Being There” well, documents those people’s stories.

Little else did I know that most of these artists mostly do this for love, but a lot of them do it for love and money, as the gig poster world has become a haven for collectibles at times, with some works commanding thousands of dollars.

Who knew?

“Just Like Being There” gives a fascinating look at the world of the gig poster and follows a variety of poster artists, with names most people won’t know like Daniel Danger and Jay Ryan. The documentary follows them through their days, through their creative process, and in the span of the 83 minutes of the film, I learned more about screen-printing than I’ve ever known. We see what inspires the artists, we see how some of them are old-school about their craft still doing a lot of the work by hand, while others have entered the digital age, and there is also the interaction with the bands, many of whom don’t really know what artwork is awaiting them until their arrival in a city, which at times is almost a “Welcome” mat for the band.

We also learn that many of these artists are kind of quirky, with personalities nearly as interesting as the artwork they create, there is a look at the collectability of many of the artists with gallery shows highlighting the much varied artwork that goes into the poster world, and how, many times, there is so much more involved rather than just a colorful poster with some big lettering. There is a passion in many of the artists, and a nice development of how their work does a great job at trying to tell a complete story of a band, of a time in history, all on one poster.

The documentary also includes a lot of cool music, with bands like Archers of Loaf, Spoon, Nada Surf, and Tokyo Police Club highlighted, and the interviews with the bands are sometimes just as interesting as the spotlight of the artists.

As a music lover, and a person who has sometimes wondered who was actually putting up “gig” posters, I was pleasantly surprised at the work put into “Just Like Being There.” It’s a complete documentary, giving a great, inside look at the art world of the poster and their place in the music industry, a wonderful view of those who have become household “gig” poster names, and a love for those who are really in the world with a passion for something they love.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Just Like Being There,” and if you have ever wondered where those concert posters come from, this documentary has many of the answers and will give you a greater appreciated for the work, and quirkiness, that goes into their creation.

As far as the DVD, it pretty much is what it is, but there are some extras including some deleted scenes, a greater look at the work of Daniel Danger, and more clips of band interviews that are always fun to watch. The DVD really is a solid, and seeming complete look, at the world of concert poster art.

Dark Skies

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dark Skies
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo, Kaden Rockett, J.K. Simmons
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Anchor Bay Entertainment & Dimension Films
Blu-ray Release Date: May 28, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them to have creepy nightmares about aliens.
Date Movie: She might get scared and snuggly, or give you someone to hold.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s a boob grab and some getting it on, but actually I found it unnecessary.
Gratuitous Violence: Just some fighting, but oddly enough the alien anal probing wasn’t really needed.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: The end goal of the aliens was a nice twist.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Scott Stewart
Cool Things about the Blu-ray: Nothing much. Standard commentary and deleted scenes, but the alternate ending was a interesting.

As I was getting ready to watch the Blu-ray of “Dark Skies,” I don’t know why but I quickly checked what it was rated. I assumed it would be rated R, it being a scary kind of movie, but alas there it was, the PG-13 rating. Sadly I was instantly disappointed as this meant no quality kills, no gratuitous nudity, not much swearing, and I sunk in my seat for what I figured would be a movie that I might find okay, but would feel it lost a thing or two by not going that extra, rated R step. By the end of the movie, however, I was pleasantly surprised that the movie actually didn’t need that extra adultness, in fact the one thing that seemed oddly out of place for me was Jesse (Dakota Goyo), and his friend, watching some teacher porn (don’t worry, they don’t show much), and then Jesse’s later boob grabbing. Maybe I am getting old, but it seemed contrived and an unnecessary “grab a boob for PG-13 boob’s sake.”

Okay, enough movie ratings analysis, let’s get to the film…

“Dark Skies” gives us a nice suburban family led by Laci (Keri Russell in a role of “How did she end up in this movie, but oddly enough it actually works for this film?”) and Daniel (Josh Hamilton also in a role of “How did he end up in this movie, but oddly enough it actually works for this film?”). They are having money problems with Daniel out of work and Laci struggling selling real estate. They have two boys, the aforementioned Jesse and Sam (Kaden Rockett), the youngest. Things seem pretty normal for the family except for a rash behind Daniel’s ear and Sam having an imaginary friend, but then strange things start happening around the house. There is a mystical stacking of goods, a night when all of the pictures disappear from their frames, and an alarm system that doesn’t seem to work when needed and goes off for no apparent reason. Now I do have to say that as strange things seemed afoot in the Barratt household all I could think about was the Eddie Murphy stand-up skit about haunted houses and families staying in house with unexplained happenings, and some parallels with “Poltergeist” happening, but then the movie started taking odder and odder twists. Weird symbols started showing up on the kid’s bodies, all of the family members started having their own episodes, and in doing some Internet searching Laci discovers that their family might have visitors in the house, namely the alien kind. Yup, it’s creepy, weird, and right up my alley, and a movie that was doing it right by not actually going all of the way with alien ray-guns and spaceships.

So what is a family to do? Well, they search out a trusty, old soul, namely Edwin (J.K. Simmons), who seems to know a thing or two about alien invasions and abductions, and warns the family about what is coming. The family hunkers down to save themselves, only to find they, well, I’ll leave that alone for the ending.

And so, “Dark Skies” gives us a movie that is part “Poltergeist,” part “Signs,” and all kinds of creepy. It does a great job at keeping the suspense, the talent of Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton are needed for the roles of showing a family that is starting to fall apart due to money problems, yet their love is still holding them together. Heck, even without the alien abduction creepiness, Keri and Josh portrayed a movie that could have stood out on its own as a family in turmoil kind of film. Like I mentioned before, however, and I understand the need for showing Jesse’s insecurity in growing up in the movie, but the teacher porn and boob grab really seemed like a lazy and gratuitous way of doing it. Yes, I know teenage boys look at porn, but it just seemed cheesy.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised by “Dark Skies” with all of its alien creepiness and the fact that they actually didn’t take the movie to the R-rated level. The movie-folks kept the aliens mysterious, even to the end, and kept the focus of the movie on the family which is what I think helped it not end up just being a dorky, alien abduction film.

Good acting, a nice look at a family with growing pains, and alien creepiness to boot. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Dark Skies” from me, and if I ever get a rash behind my ear I’m going to question things a little more.

In regards to the extras on the Blu-ray, there isn’t that much, mostly just the standard commentary track and some deleted scenes that were fine being deleted. The alternate ending was a nice touch, though, and seeing how things progress to how they eventually ended the film.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!