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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:48 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Elijah Wood
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Focus Features
Release Date: 2004
Kiddie Movie: A little too involved for them.
Date Movie: Sure, it’s romantic.
Gratuitous Sex: A little.
Gratuitous Violence: Not really.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Quite a few, but not gutbusters.
Memorable Scene: Joel and Clementine trying to hide the memory of her somewhere else in Joel’s memories.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Michael Gondry

Part of me really appreciated the clever story and great acting in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” but as I was leaving most of me was saying “What the hell was that?” Let’s start with the story.

As the movie begins, we are introduced to Joel (Jim Carrey). He wakes up, finds his car is damaged, and begins his trek to work only to decide on a whim to go to Long Island. In a diner Joel sees Clementine (Kate Winslet), and makes the comment that he falls in love with any woman who will give him time of day. Low and behold, we see Clementine and Joel on the train back to the city where they hit it off. Then the opening credits roll, and we next find Joel, ready to give Clementine a Valentine’s Day/Make-up gift (they got in a big fight). At the bookstore Clementine doesn’t seem to know who Joel is, seems to already have a boyfriend, and Joel is really confused, until he finds out that Clementine had all memory of him erased. Not to be outdone, Joel decides to visit the same clinic and have Clementine erased from his memory as well. And then the fun begins.

So he meets Dr. Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkenson), his receptionist, Mary (Kirsten Dunst), and the Doc’s technicians, Stan (Mark Ruffalo) and Patrick (Elijah Wood). Joel gets set for the procedure by bringing every memento of him and Clementine, to trigger memory responses, which our good technicians will erase when Joel is drugged to sleep. So at first Joel is alright with these memories being erased, after all, they are the crappy memories at the end of the relationship. But slowly he gets to memories of Clementine when things are good and he no longer wants to forget her, but remember the good times. The problem is that Joel’s asleep, that and the fact that we’ve got two of the most unethical technicians and a stoned receptionist not paying attention to Joel’s fighting the procedure.

This is where the fun comes, with Joel and Clementine trying to find a place to hide Clementine’s memory in an old memory not scheduled to be erased. We get a trip to one of Joel’s most embarrassing moments (it’s pretty funny), Joel as a little kid in a giant kitchen, until eventually the Doc has to be called in to finally get rid of Clementine once and for all.

Alright, the story sounds a little complicated, and it is, but if you follow along, I think you’ll have fun with this movie. The only problem I had was that from the trailers, well, it really depicted this as more of a comedy than this movie is. It’s actually more of a romantic drama, with some comedic spots put in. Don’t think Jim Carrey as funny man, think of Jim Carrey as drama man, kinda more like he was in “The Truman Show” rather than “Bruce Almighty.” And he’s great at it, playing the loser-ish Joel, then the guy in a crappy relationship, then the guy in love, then the guy trying desperately not to lose the memory of the love of his life. Kate Winslet is great too. She plays Clementine with a whimsical look most of the time, until the end of their relationship when her talking too much is the problem, mostly because she’s not really asking how they can get their relationship back to its blissful period. You hate her, but then you really like her, and then everything comes together at the ending.

So, is the movie good? Well, I’m classifying “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” as an artsy romantic drama with some comedic elements to lighten the mood. Visually impressive with a creative story, Charlie Kaufman writes an entertaining look at if we really want bad memories erased. This is also the first movie that comes close to showing a person inside a dream, sometimes able to control the actions in the dream, then losing control, then controlling it again. It’s a weird experience when you’re dreaming, then realizing you’re in a dream and can control what’s going on (sometimes I’m able to do that), and the filmmakers have really brought this to light. And if they’re looking for any more wacky stories in a dream state, I can give them tons, like the butterman incident or the magic stones that turn into a staircase at the bowling alley. I’m sorry, I digress, back to the movie.

Anyway, if you like a more artsy movie, “Eternal Sunshine…” is as good as any. If you’re looking for an all-out comedy, keep looking and stay away. So I guess, in the end, even saying “What the hell was that?”, that I did like this movie. The acting was great, you get to see Kirsten Dunst in panties and an almost see-through top, and the story is kinda wacky. It’s just not the story I expected from the trailers. 4 stars out of 5 for this one, but remember, this isn’t an all-out laugh fest.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Entrapment

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:50 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Entrapment
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Nothing really bad.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: No. Damn.
Gratuitous Violence: Nothing gratuitous.
Action: The scenes where they actually go to steal things are cool.
Laughs: Nothing really.
Memorable Scene: Zeta-Jones contorting around the laser beams.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jon Amiel

If you’re a dude I have two words, or is it technically three words, as to why go see “Entrapment”: Catherine Zeta-Jones. “Hubbalabubbalaboomskee” I can still see her slithering her way while avoiding the laser beams. If you’re a dudette, well, Sean Connery is in it, but I make no judgment on him. But is the movie any good? Not great, but not bad either.

“Entrapment” deals with two thieves, Gin (Zeta-Jone) and Mac (Connery), both seemingly set on not so much the challenge anymore of stealing things, but more on the challenge of who holds the record for the biggest score. Gin has the plan – a bank transfer that puts most fears of the Y2K bug to reality, but she needs Mac’s help to pull it off, so in cahoots they go. Gin starts the movie by seemingly trying to set up Mac to get busted by stealing some Chinese mask, posing as an insurance investigator, but I’ll spoil a little of the movie by saying she has another agenda, and eventually Mac finds out that it’s an 8 billion dollar agenda. So, Mac’s in, but he has another agenda, too, the least of which is trying not to get in Gin’s pants (it’s bad for partners to get emotionally involved says Mac), and the movie goes on from there.

Storywise what else is there to tell? It is basically a movie about two, high-tech thieves set to pull off the biggest caper ever. We get to see some really cool ways to steal things, we get to see Zeta-Jones contort her body every which way, and they even throw in some twists and turns as to the real motive behind the actions of the major players in the movie. Other than that the movie didn’t do anything for me.

I’ll give “Entrapment” 2 ½ stars out of 5. It’s an okay movie to see, but nothing spectacular.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!

Enemy of the State

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:07 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Enemy of the State
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Touchstone Pictures
Release Date: 1998
Kiddie Movie: Violence, things blowing up, slinky lingerie – leave them at home.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: A couple of scenes.
Gratuitous Violence: Yea, quite a bit, and a dude gets run over by a fire engine.
Action: Car chases, buildings blow up, and spy stuff.
Laughs: Some good one-liners.
Memorable Scene: The Asian lady in the hotel room, and a kick-ass gunfight between the mob and the NSA.
Memorable Quote: Dean throws his watch with a tracking device in it off the roof and the NSA dude says “Either he just committed suicide or has learned to fly.”
Directed By: Tony Scott

“Enemy of the State” is one of those movies that is cool to see as long as you don’t try to make sense out of it all. Enjoy the car chases, enjoy the gunfights, enjoy the technology gadgets, enjoy the ladies in the lingerie store, just don’t try to make sense of the actions of our stars.

The story kind of goes like this: Will Smith plays Robert Clayton Dean, a lawyer who generally deals with the unions and the mob. One day he finds himself in a lingerie store buying some slinky clothing for his wife. Earlier in the day there was a murder, caught on videotape by accident, by a guy that Dean knew from college. Well, the dude is being chased by the NSA folks trying to get the tape, somehow makes it out of his apartment, over the roof, through an alley, and into the same lingerie store. The dude is scared, puts the tape and little TV into one of Dean’s Christmas bag, runs out of the store, and gets run over by a fire engine. So, Dean has this tape that he didn’t know about, but the super-sneaky NSA guys think he knows about it, and proceed to ruin his life.

Now, through a series of strange twists and turns, Dean finds Brill (Gene Hackman), who used to work for the feds, but now is in hiding, but knows how to help Dean. We find that two can play at the surveillance game as Brill and Dean get sneaky with the NSA dudes. Intermingled we have the mob, a loving wife, some kids, and the underlying fear that the government is always spying on us.

I guess the story is a little more complicated than that, but like many action films, sometimes the only important thing about the plot is that it leads to cool gadgets, things blowing up, and some fun characters. “Enemy of the State” ends up having all of these, as long as you forget common sense. Dean does a good job at wondering how his life is getting so screwed up and finally putting together the pieces, Brill is good at the “knowing too much for his own good, suspicious of everyone, but trying to find a way to get back at those who screwed him” guy, and Reynolds (Jon Voight) plays a great, corrupt, sneaky politician type guy.

But, even with that, I still couldn’t get past the lack of common sense and that hurt the film for me. Among the many things that made no sense to me were things like: How the hell couldn’t the NSA guys catch the dude who had the tape in the first place? Why didn’t the NSA dudes just say something to Dean like “We’re from the NSA. Your friend in the lingerie shop stole some top-secret information and we think he may have passed it on to you. We need your help.” Then, when Dean realizes he has the tape, why doesn’t he just head to his local TV station and give it to them?

So, where am I going with this? Well, I’ll give “Enemy of the State” 3 stars out of 5. As an action film it was pretty good, the surveillance stuff was cool, and it had a kick-ass gunfight. But for some of the supposed brightest and sophisticated government and lawyer types, they were sure pretty stupid.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!!

Enemy at the Gates

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:11 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Enemy at the Gates
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jude Law, Ed Harris, Joseph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2001
Directed By: Jean-Jacques Annaud

My only hope is that this movie doesn’t try to get too artsy. The basics of the story is about two snipers, Jude Law and Ed Harris. One is confident the other is kinda scared. One is set on his job the other is falling in love. The trailers show a good drama, some lovey-dovey stuff, and some quality war stuff to there is a lot of potential, but, well, the movie is looking to cinematographic so I’ll probably go see it although still be a little hesitant.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Employee of the Month

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Employee of the Month
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Dax Shepard, Andy Dick
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Lions Gate Films
Release Date: 2006
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want your son staring at Jessica’s boobs.
Date Movie: She’s got to be easily amused.
Gratuitous Sex: Low cut shirts and Vince being crude is about it.
Gratuitous Violence: Slaptstick.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: There’s a funny couple of lines.
Memorable Scene: Every scene being able to stare at Amy’s rack.
Memorable Quote: A great bit of advice before a date: “Don’t forget to wash your balls.”
Directed By: Greg Coolidge

Heading to my local gigaplex to catch a flick to review this weekend, I pretty much gave myself two choices, the Martin Scorcese epic “The Departed,” or the Greg Coolidge, umm, film, “Employee of the Month.” With it being a gorgeous day outside, I opted to save an hour stuck inside a movie theater and caught “Employee of the Month.” Maybe I should have just opted to save another extra hour and a half inside a movie theater.

Anyway, “Employee of the Month” gives us Dane Cook as Zack. He’s pretty much a slacker who lives with his Granny and works with group of slackers at the local bulk food mart, SuperClub, ala Costco. His nemesis is Vince (Dax Shepard), the head cashier and management suck-up who has been the employee of the month for the past 17 months. If he can be employee of the month for one more month, well, he wins a car and the love of the corporate boss.

Enter a new cashier, Amy (Jessica Simpson).

Amy transfers from another SuperClub, and Zack and her hit it off right from the start, mostly because they can finish each others sentences. Zack finds out from her employee file that at the previous store she seemed to have a thing for the employee of the month, and not wanting Vince to get the girl, Zack decides he will make a valiant attempt at employee of the month. And so the fight between Vince and Zack is on.

Yup, you can guess that Zack gets so wrapped up in beating Vince and becoming the model employee that he deserts his friends, eventually Amy will find out that at the start Zack just wanted to be the great employee to get in her pants, and in the end, Zack will learn his lesson and get the girl.

It’s a simple story, and the jokes are pretty much what you would expect, and no one here will be getting any accolades for their acting. Jessica Simpson looks like she got the role because all she has to do is smile and wear low-cut shirts (I’m guessing that her Dad, one of the Producers on the film, has no problem with that because we know how he admires her boobs), and Dane Cook didn’t seem to add to his comedic actor resume for this flick. I will say, though, that Dax Shepard does a great job as the smarmy Vince, which really helped redeem this film.

In the end I did laugh a couple of times during the film, so it wasn’t horrible, but really I would have to say this is a definite “wait for the rental” or “wait for cable” type of movie. It’s 2 stars out of 5 for “Employee of the Month.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eight Below

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 2:00 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eight Below
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Paul Walker, Bruce Greenwood, and the pie…, I mean, Jason Biggs
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Disney Pictures
Release Date: 2006

Here’s a feel good movie for everyone, probably, especially, dog lovers. You get some scientist dudes hanging out in Antarctica, doing their scientist things, when the best way to get somewhere is by sled dogs. They get there, do there exploring, but than an accident happens and people are hurt. The rescue teams come, but there isn’t any room for the dogs, so, yea, the dogs are left to fend for themselves. Then the bad weather comes, and the dogs are really stranded. The movie tells the story of the dog’s survival and those that love them trying to get back to the Antarctic to save them.

It’s a feel good story, really can’t go wrong to make things feel good, but sometimes, that’s all that you want, although I’ve got to guess there will be a tear jerk here and there.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Will you be filling out March Madness brackets?

It’s March Madness, Baby! Yup, it’s that time of year when millions of men and a lot of women will look at this big bracket of college teams, some they have never heard of, and believe that they have a system for picking the team that will eventually become the National Champion, the best college basketball team in the nation, or at least the team that was somehow able to beat Gonzaga. Others, myself included, will search out the online contests where if you can somehow pick all of the winners of the tournament you will win $1,000,000, believe you have the brackets that will accomplish this task, and then, undoubtedly, but about two hours after the tournaments begin, be out of the running and have your bracket already busted.

Countless numbers of others will join office pools, that bastion of illegal gambling that rears its head for March Madness and the Super Bowl, and waste millions of hours of work staring at their computer screen, waiting for scores to upload, in the hopes of winning about a hundred bucks but more importantly, have office bragging rights because you picked the winning team based on the color of their uniforms and not because you have the ultimate faith in Coach K.

It will be fun, by sometimes Thursday I’m pretty sure I’ll be out of the running, but I plight: Will you be filling out March Madness brackets?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you untie your shoes when taking them off?

Yesterday my shoe came untied. I suppose that’s not a monumental revelation but there I was, taking out the garbage this morning, and inside my shoe I felt the lace under my foot and it reminded me that I noticed it was untied the day before when I was walking Milo. That also means that I didn’t re-tie my shoe at the time, and as I was walking back from putting my trash at the curb I also made the conscious decision not to re-tie my shoe until after I got in my car and ended up where I was driving. Alas, I needed gas and at the fill-er-up station, with some time to kill, decided it was finally time to re-tie my shoe. In doing so I thought about shoe tying, about how I struggled as a youngster to learn how to tie my shoes (or at least my perception was that I struggled), and then, one day, my little fingers all worked together, and I could magically tie them. Then, through the years, much to my Mom’s dismay, I turned into a “slip off my shoes without untying them” person, much like many people are nowadays. Granted with my dress shoes and my boots there is tying and untying involved, but for my gym shoes rarely a time will come when I will untie them, and when I do have to re-tie them, as was the case today, I am very careful not to make them too tight so as to make the slipping off of the shoe relatively easy. So, as I was tying my shoe this morning I plighted in my head: Do you untie your shoes when taking them off?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you put your car in “Park” when stopped by a train?

The other day I was coming upon a railroad crossing with a few cars ahead of me. This event will usually harken me back to saying in my head “Eighty-eight. Red Ball Freight,” but that’s another plight for another time. This time the crossing lights started flashing, the gates came down, and I whispered to myself, “Shit. Train. Now I’m going to be late.” As the line of cars approached the lowered gates, and the train was ambling by, I took my spot and put my car in “Park.” Sitting back, looking at my iPhone to kill some time, I finally glanced up and noticed that the brake-lights were still glowing a bright red on the car in front of me. There I was, relaxing, foot off the pedals, just waiting for the train to go by, and I tried to think back to when I was taught to put my car in park at a train crossing when waiting for the train. I’m going to guess it was my Mom or Dad who instilled this habit as usually, back in those days when parents had to entertain their kids and not leave them in the back seat with an iPad to play with or video to watch, getting stopped by a train usually meant waving at the engineer out the window, counting how many train cars there were, admiring the various types of train cars, and eagerly waiting for the caboose . It wasn’t like there was any hurry to get back across the crossing, I mean, you still had to wait for the gates to go back up which left plenty of time to put the car back in “Drive,” but for me it also, always, seemed safer to put the car in “Park” while waiting for the train to go by. For whatever reason I just always saw badness happening if you didn’t put your car in “Park,” like your foot would slip off the brake pedal and onto the gas, and if you were the lead car, there you were, smashing through the gates and slamming into the side of the train.

Eventually the train finally made its pass, I observantly watched the car in front of me to see if maybe they just were extra safe with their foot on the brake and car in “Park,” but alas there was no “flash” of the “reverse” lights. I envisioned, one day, that driver screwing up and slamming into the side of a passing train when their foot slipped, and then plighted to myself: Do you put your car in “Park” when stopped by a train?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

How is your day going?

I guess, for this plight, I’m just wondering how the readers and visitors to Entertainment Ave! are doing today. I was going to write about my thermostat obsession, farts, or butt-dailing your phone, but I’m going to hold those plights for another day. As I’m typing this my day has been all over the place, kind of grumpy, kind of good, and maybe it’s because my body-clock is still getting used to the change to Daylight Saving Time or the gray day with a damp rain, but I just can’t get into things today. When the plight gets posted, however, things could be totally different so my actual answer might be different.

Here’s hoping your day is going great, or if crappy so far that it turns to great, and if it’s just kind of normal, here’s hoping it at least stays that way and doesn’t get crappy. And so I plight: How is your day going?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!