Movie Reviews Archives - Entertainment Ave!

Faceless After Dark

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 83 Minutes
From: Dark Sky Films
In select theaters and on digital places, May 17, 2024

Ahh, be careful if you are a star from a horror movie, those fans are crazy!

Yup, “Faceless After Dark” gives us Bowie (Jenna Kanell). She is a one-hit wonder star in a horror movie with a clown, and while she had her signature line from the movie, and developed a cult following, her horror movie career is stuck in one-hit-wonder mode.

For Bowie, her life is miserable, she gets passed over for every role, and even her best friend Ryan (Danny Kang) can’t get her a job.

So, with some encouragement from Ryan, Bowie starts writing her own script. I mean, why not? “Write what you want to be in” is Ryan’s advice.

What do you do if you decide to write your own script? Yup, you think about your girlfriend who is away, making a movie, maybe smoke something that takes you someplace else, then get weird images through your phone from someone with no caller ID.

Oh, and then start drinking and kind of lose your mind.

Only now you have a problem. You may be in your own, mental craziness, but it’s stalker, fan time!

Enter a dude with some hedge shears, and, well, you can’t really think straight because of all the weird stuff you just inhaled, drank, and well, your own crazy.

So, Bowie finds herself with a crazy fan holding her hostage, him recreating the movie that made her a star, and her running around her girlfriend’s house trying to figure out how to call the cops.

Sure, you think the fan is crazy, I mean he shows up with a clown mask and hedge shears, but in this house, crazy has a new name, and that name is “Bowie.”

So as not to give too much away, let’s just say that Bowie has decided it’s better to recreate the horror movie in her head rather than actually write it.

The gore, thankfully, escalates quickly, and we learn that maybe it isn’t such a good idea to be the stalker of a star in a horror movie.

There were two things I was thinking as I was watching “Faceless After Dark.” First, Jenna Kannel is wonderful in the role of Bowie, the crazy, unstable horror film star. While we quickly develop the knowledge that Bowie is crazier than her fans, it was fun seeing Bowie sink deeper and deeper into her psychosis, much to the dismay of her stalker fans.

The second thing I couldn’t help but think was that her woman is gonna be pissed when she gets home.

Surprisingly, though, her woman, Jessica (Danielle Lyn), appears to live the life of “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

“Faceless After Dark” does a great job taking you into the psychosis of a movie star stuck as a one-hit-wonder of a horror movie. The gore isn’t completely crazy, but it is solid as things escalate while the film progresses, and I loved the scene where Bowie tries to use an Apple, lightning charging cord to charge a Samsung Phone. I’m just like that.

It’s a solid 4 stars out of 5 for “Faceless After Dark.” Enjoy the psychosis of a horror movie star!

That’s it for this one! I’m Andy! L8R!!

Frogman

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 80 Minutes
From: Rotting Press
Available on Digital Platforms: March 8, 2023
Also available on VHS

I must say that when I got the press release for “Frogman,” I wondered two things. One, is there really a city called Loveland, Ohio, and two, if so, who would set some fictitious legend about a creature in said city.

Turns out there is an actual Loveland, Ohio, and it also turns out the city has a legend about, well, you guessed it, a frogman.

Who knew?

I’m still not sure the town will like the apparent “newfound footage” of frogman, nor the direction the footage seems to take the legend, but hey, it’s about 90 minutes of taking the weirdness of a legend of a, well, frogman, to a bizarre, horror-filled level.

As the movie goes, young Dallas, at an impressionable young age of 12, captured some film footage of Frogman, a mythical creature who lived in the woods around Loveland, Ohio. This creature was about four feet tall, looked like a frog, and walked around on two legs.

No one really believed Dallas, but his entire life he has been haunted with this footage, and of his desire to find Frogman once and for all.

Fast forward 20 years and Dallas is, well, 32, his life is kind of crappy, so what to do? You grab that old video camera with a couple of friends and try to find Mr. Frogman.

And if you’re a fledgling filmmaker like Dallas, you decide to also make it into a full-blown documentary.

As you drag your videographer friend, as well as the girl you want to be your girlfriend but won’t tell her you want her to be your girlfriend, along, quickly you find that there may be more to the legend than you believe. What really tips you off? Why, when the local sheriff tells you to leave town of course.

If you’re Dallas, do you leave town? Heck no! You’ve got Frogman to find, into the woods you go to set up camp, but you and your friends are still pretty stupid because you don’t really have camping provisions nor enough cell batteries for your phones, but damn, your video camera battery seems to last forever!

Eventually you find the true story of Frogman, and it ain’t good. Yea, let’s just say that there might be little Frog-people walking around pretty soon, and you’re wrapped up in the mess.

And even with all the footage you have, no one still believes you.

Ahh, the life of trying to prove a weird legend.

The difficulty I had with Frogman was that it couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to go for the completely absurd or the uber-suspense side of a movie. There was a Blair Witch Project feel with the entire “footage” aspect, but most of the time that footage just showed some really inept people. Frogman didn’t hit that creepy level to feel frightened, and there were too many horror movie clichés, like the “I’ll go find dry wood by myself” scene.

While the movie folks did take a crazy, actual legend and turn it even crazier, I guess I wanted a little more. I’m not sure if that more was going over-the-top, or more on the being scary, but the more never made it. For me Frogman gets 2 ½ stars out of 5. I just wanted more.

That’s it for this one! I’m Andy! L8R!!

SINPHONY: A Clubhouse Horror Anthology

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 87 Minutes
From: Dark Sky Films
In Theaters, VOD, and Digital Platforms: October 21, 2022

Do you want nine horror movies that get right to the point? Yup, no, long, drawn-out plot development, no “the girl will spend five minutes trying to find someplace to hide,” no yelling at your screen, “Get to the killing already!”

What if they were tied together into one, neat, 90 minute package?

Here comes, “Sinphony: A Clubhouse Horror Anthology”

Let’s Clubhouse Together

As the story goes, a bunch of horror film folks got together on Clubhouse, the social media place, and decided to put together nine different visions where something supernatural messes with the main character.

While each supernatural thing messing with the poor, main character is different, each little movie has one thing in common, the song “Fortress,” brings them together.

It’s an interesting concept that I kind of liked. No muss, no fuss, just blood and sometimes guts.

Here are some short blurbs about each of the nine parts…

Mother Love

There apparently is a serial killer in the neighborhood, and our heroine is home alone with her son. Thinking the killer is in her house, why call the police when you can get on a group call with your coven of witch friends?

Take Back the Night

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 90 Minutes
From: Dark Sky Films
In Theaters and on Digital Platforms: March 4, 2021

Jane (Emma Fitzpatrick) is kind of messed up. She does drugs, drinks, is kind of mental, and got attacked by a monster.

The underlying problem?

When you do drugs, drink a lot, and are kind of mental, most no one believes you if you are attacked by a monster.

What do you do if you are Jane?

Well, as Jane is also a social media influencer type, she takes her story to the little screen.

That’s great and all, but the problem is there is still this monster, the adults in the room don’t seem to want to do anything about it, and said monster keeps attacking Jane.

So, Jane decides she must kill it.

Such is the basic premise of “Take Back the Night,”

Let’s dive in a little more.

Witching and Bitching

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 112 Minutes
From: IFC Midnight
Available on Digital Platforms and now released on Blu-ray, October 5, 2021
Get it via : Amazon

Women. Sometimes all men can do is bitch about them.

Men. Sometimes all women can do is eat them.

Welcome to “Witching and Bitching,” a fun, weird movie where a group of thieves might have been better off treating their women a little nicer.

Set in Spain (the film is in Spanish with English subtitles), our movie begins as we get introduced to some witches. As witches sometimes do they are making a weird kind of brew and discover their ills can be cured with some gold.

Enter our men.

Blood Conscious

Rated: R | Running Time: 81 Minutes
From: Dark Sky Films
In Theaters and Digital/VOD Platforms: August 20, 2021
Get it via : Amazon

As the credits started to roll during “Blood Conscious,” all I could think was here is a movie that just tried to do too much. Creepy movie set in the secluded woods with a lake? Check. Possible demon possessions? Check. Dumb people in a horror movie? Check. Movie trying to make a social statement? Check. Cheeky one-liners? Check. Ending that isn’t really an ending but tries to force you to make your own conclusions? Check.

The problem? It didn’t really do any of them well. Bummer.

Yup, “Blood Conscious” opens with a group of people, a young brother (Kevin, played by Oghenero Gbaje), older sister (Brittney, played by DeShawn White), and the fiancé of Britney (Tony, played by Lenny Thomas) in a car. Driving down deserted forest roads, they are on the way to a family gathering at the secluded cabins in the woods.

Upon arrival they stumble upon everyone murdered, and of course, none of them thinks to immediately call the police. Uh oh, here comes a dude with the shotgun (The Stranger, played by Nick Damici), who asks, “Are you humans, or are you demons?” “We’re on vacation,” is the reply.

And, so, every classic horror film things starts to happen. They escape from The Stranger, they catch The Stranger, The Stranger might be dead, they keep splitting up, and rather than try to make it to town during daylight, they hang around murder-ville until it’s dark and decide maybe a visit to town might be a good idea, but only if they split up.

Ugh!

Goodness, how are they going to survive the night? I know, start drinking beer in the fridge!

And when you think things are calming down, let’s bring in some mysterious lady, Margie (Lori Hammel)!

With Margie we really begin to get the “social statement” because, well, our trio is black and Margie is not. Up until this point it really didn’t matter, and it was better that way with them just being normal, stupid people in a horror movie. Instead, now, we’ll try for some obligatory Margie questioning Kevin for going through her purse well, because he is black and if our trio were white, well, I suppose Margie would be okay with it. Also, they are all in the middle of a mass murder, and Margie is somehow worried about how she is treated by “you people.”

Yea, things are completely messed up, dawn arrives, and rather than take the roads to town our heroes decide to use the rowboat to get across the lake. I won’t ruin the best part of the movie, but that happens when our folks stumble upon some townsfolk, and the question is asked “What are you?”

Roll credits.

Yup, you come up with your own ending!

Man, “Blood Conscious” just seemed like a movie where Timothy Covell, the writer and director, tried too hard. The fact that the “heroes” in the movie were black didn’t really matter until the film folks made a fuss about it. I would have preferred they just be dumb, horror movie people, as most horror movie people are. There is also a point where the stupidity just needs to end with heads being blown off or limbs being dismembered. That didn’t happen as you are supposed to eventually wonder if our heroes are, in fact, possessed and are now demons. The cheesy one-liners weren’t that cheesy, I wasn’t ever in suspense, and at the end of the day, for me, “Blood Conscious” gets 2 stars out of 5.

I wanted to like the movie more since the look of the movie was pretty good, and Oghenero Gbaje did some nice acting, but horror movies don’t always need to have a social message, just make them scary and bloody, or at least suspenseful and funny.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

7 Yards: The Chris Norton Story

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 94 Minutes
From: Virgil Films
Available on Digital Platforms: February 23, 2021
Get it via : Amazon | Apple TV

Cover are for 7 Yards: The Chris Norton Story The worst nightmare for parents of an athlete, in my head, is seeing your child get injured. Usually it’s just scary, the daughter or son gets up, and all is well.

On the day Chris Norton went down following a tackle at a college football game, everything was not well. Chris hit the turf, he couldn’t move, and in a small town a helicopter is a bad sign, and on this day it was the sign Chris’ injury wasn’t the type he would just be able get up from.

This is the start of “7 Yards: The Chris Norton Story,” a documentary about the struggles and triumphs Chris had following his injury, and his journey to walk seven yards down the aisle at his wedding.

So, Chris goes down, and in simple terms, Chris injured his neck and was given a 3% chance of any being able to move again. And so the journey begins.

The documentary leans heavily on hope and progress. Sure, there are glimpses of Chris going through mental challenges, but when he was able to move his arm a little, he had hope, when he was feeling down a nurse came in and said, “You will beat this,” and Chris had hope. Even when a doctor came in with no hope, dismissing as a “phantom” feeling Chris’ explaining to said doctor that he had some feeling in his big toe, Chris had hope and was determined to prove the doctor wrong.

Chris put it, “I was naive to believe in myself.” Sure enough, the doctor was proven wrong.

As the documentary progresses, it’s on to the next stage of Chris’ inspirational recovery. He’s out of the hospital and back to “normal” life after being discharged following months of therapy at The Mayo Clinic. Sure, he’s still in a wheelchair, but is a little bit more mobile in his upper body and has some leg movement.

Eventually Chris finds love with Emily, and we get to what would lead to Chris becoming a national news story – He wanted to walk across the stage at his college graduation.

At this point watching the documentary, we know we can’t put anything past Chris as, sure enough, following intense training, there he was, walking, with a little help, to get his diploma. No, it wasn’t like Chris was bouncing across the stage doing summersaults, but yes, I got weepy even knowing the scene was coming.

As Chris’ video of determination and hope goes viral with over 300 million views, Chris finds himself on the national stage, and maybe you might think the story is over.

Nope.

What happens when you have a great person by your side, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them? Yup, Emily accepts Chris’ proposal ,and it was on to Chris’ next goal of walking with Emily, arm and arm, down the aisle, seven yards, after the vows are said.

You see, up until this time, when Chris walked, someone was leading in front of him as it was more stable, but that wasn’t what Chris wanted. He wanted to be by Emily’s side, and well, with Chris’ track record of progress, it was going to happen.

And, oh yea, we also find out Chris and Emily decide to become foster parents, then adoptive parents, of five kids.

How’s that for being an inspiration, or at times for me, my sitting there going, “Crap, what a lazy, complaining slug I can be?”

“7 Yards: The Chris Norton Story” is about as inspirational as an inspirational documentary can get. It recreates some of the earlier parts of Chris’ life, those that didn’t have footage, especially since it wasn’t like the minute Chris went down someone said, “We have to film everything for a move ten years from now!”, intermixed with actual footage of Chris’ journey, and countless interviews of those around him.

The documentary does a good job spotlighting the many people around Chris who helped him in his progress from the injury, and really is a feel-good film. About the only thing that bothered me was the length. It clocks in at an a little over an hour and half, so sometimes there is the “Alright already, we get it, Chris is an inspiration. Show him walk across the stage!”

It’s 3 1/2 stars out of 5 for “7 Yards: The Chris Norton Story.” I did get weepy a few times along Chris’ journey, and his story is quite the inspiration for anyone going through struggles. Go ahead, watch Chris, and then try to complain about your life because it probably doesn’t have nearly any of the challenges Chris has overcome. Maybe you’ll be inspired to try just a little harder, too.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Synchronic

Rated: R | Running Time: 101 Minutes
From: Well Go USA Entertainment
Available on Digital Platforms: January 12, 2021
Available on Blu-Ray: January 26, 2021
Get it via : Amazon | iTunes

It’s always a problem when there is a new party drug in town, and this time it’s a drug called Synchronic.

But here comes Dennis (Jamie Dorman) and Steve (Anthony Mackie).

They are paramedics and keep stumbling upon folks who find themselves dead, or in completely bizarre situations that are seemingly unexplained, and somehow stuff from different periods of time show up.

The link appears to be Synchronic, and “Synchronic” is also the name of the movie.

So, yea, we’ve got our heroes, or well, just a couple of dudes living their lives, but things start to go really weird. First you get Steve who finds out he has health issues, then you’ve got Dennis with daughter issues, and then you’ve got dead, or almost dead people, with items from the past or animal bites from animals that no longer live in New Orleans.

First they are all like, “Yea, it’s just another party drug gone wrong!”, but then Dennis’ daughter, Brianna (Ally Ioannides) becomes part of the mix, disappears, and Steve wants the drug off the street.

Enter Dr. Kermani (Ramiz Monsef).

He’s the dude who invented Synchronic, and he explains to Steve how it works, and that time travel is involved.

Yup, let’s do some time travel and try to find Dennis’ daughter!

Lucky for Dennis, and his daughter, that Steve is also kind of a scientist, able to analyze the time travel trips, so yes, Steve begins to hone in on being able to hopefully find Brianna.

And once we find this out, and that the good Doctor is dead, well, the ending is all but secure.

Time travel movies are always tricky. I mean, there is always the “I can go back in time and change things” aspect, or the “Is today the result of the going back?”, but “Synchronic” doesn’t dwell too much on the true metaphysical aspects of traveling through time, only hitting up a couple of sequences for Steve to understand how the drug works.

The movie also has a lot of limiting aspects to the drug so that it really stays focused on one thing, getting Brianna back.

I will say that “Synchronic” is an interesting look at time travel, and visually looks great when the time travel scenes take place. There is some sociological stories going on, especially with Steve being African American and traveling back into the days of slavery, and there is also some psychological aspects of death, but the movie doesn’t get too bogged down in those, instead focusing on Steve’s task at hand.

Don’t get too wrapped up into the flow of time thing, just treat the movie as a sci-fi thriller of a a man trying to find a lost girl, and you’ll be fine. Well, most of you should be fine except for one scene when Steve returns to the present day where I was just completely sad. I believe you may be sad, too, but I’m not telling so you can embrace your sadness.

At the end it’s 3 1/2 stars out of 5 for “Synchronic.” A nice sci-fi thriller for you while stuck inside. The Blu-ray has some fun commentary, making of, and things like that, but for me, the Blu-ray is worth its price of admission for the “Alternate Ending.” It was perfect.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Spacewalker

Rated: Not Rated | Running Time: 137 Minutes
From: MPI Media Group / capelight pictures
Available on DVD and Digital Platforms: January 19, 2021
Get it via : Amazon | iTunes

Let me start this review with a helpful hint: Watch “Spacewalker” with the language set to “Russian” and have the English subtitles. I know, no one really wants to “read” while watching a movie, but the voices in English of the folks who dubbed the movie were so far off from what you probably imagine the characters sound like, that, well, it can almost ruin a wonderful film.

Yes, “Spacewalker” is a wonderful film.

Let’s get to the movie.

So, here we are, in the 1960’s and it’s the full-blown, “United States v. USSR,” space race. There’s a win for one country here, a win for the other there, and the next step, other than the ultimate destination, the moon, is to have someone “walk” in space. The United States had their timetable to get a man out of the capsule and hang around in the emptiness of space, but the USSR needed the win. What to do? Accelerate their timeline.

But how?

Enter Alexey (Evgeniy Mironov) and Pavel (Konstatin Khabenskly), with some help from Sergey (Vladimir Ilin). How? Well, the USSR has been working on a spaceship with the capability for a spacewalk, but things are moving slow, and quite frankly, they need someone who loves danger combined with someone with a steady hand, to pilot the thing. Alexey is the daredevil and Pavel is the steady hand, and although their personalities compete at times, they also become the perfect cosmonauts for the job.

As is the standard case with movies detailing anything space in the 60’s, there is peril at every turn, safety corners get cut in the name of getting the rocket in the air, and there is always something that goes wrong where the crew might die. “Spacewalker” is no different. Yup, even though you know things will get hairy, and you will fear for the lives of the cosmonauts, rest assured movie folks aren’t really making these films where the heroes die.

So, yes, there is the backstory of Alexey growing up and our learning how he became fearless, we cheer on the aging Pavel, and feel for Sergey in that horrible position of wanting to please his boss, Leonid Brezhnev (Valeriy Grishko), while maintaining the safety of the crew.

It’s the perfect, “based on a true story” story, albeit not as “Hollywood” looking as you might want. Nope, “Spacewalker” may not have the special effects you might expect, but it doesn’t need them, the story has the suspense it needs to have you cheering on the cosmonauts, even if they are on the other “team.”

Now, back to my first comment.

For years I have complained in my head whenever I had to “read” while watching a movie, meaning it’s a foreign film, without an English dubbing, so I had to read subtitles.

I’ll never complain again because “Spacewalker” has some of the worst dubbing of actors I have heard. Simply put, when you think USSR and cosmonaut, especially for the bosses, and even looking at the actors, you think, “rough and gruff” voices.” Let’s just way that the English voices dubbed into this movie were nothing “rough and gruff,” and they really started to ruin the movie. To confirm I wasn’t wrong I rewatched the beginning of the movie with the original voices of the actors, in Russian, with subtitles, and the voices fit the men and women so much better. Lesson learned, and my advisory for you, again, to like the movie a lot better, read the subtitles and listen to the actual actors.

So, ignoring my mistake of listening to the dubbed voices, “Spacewalker” is really a wonderful movie. It did a great job showing the danger the cosmonauts faced, the odd friendship of two different personalities, and nicely showed the backstory of Alexey and how he became fearless. You get upset at the government folks who don’t really seem to care about the people, you get nervous even though you are fairly certain the outcome will make you feel good, and in the end “Spacewalker” does a great job of sending you back to a time when pride came in accomplishments and not in conquering.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Spacewalker.”

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Summerland

Rated: PG | Running Time: 99 Minutes
From: IFC Films
Available on DVD and Digital Platforms: November 17, 2020
Get it via : Amazon

Gemma Arterton plays Alice. Alice is a writer and researcher kind of person. She is also a recluse. She also lives in Southern England.

That seems fine.

The problem is that people don’t like her, and kind of rightly so. How so? Well, not to give an early scene away, let’s just say that Alice has the opportunity to be a nice but, just as you think she might not be that bad, she takes all the items from the counter at the corner store.

Welcome to the movie “Summerland.”

Yup, Alice doesn’t seem to care about people. Combine that with her being a recluse and, well, she also gets tormented by the local kids who think she’s a witch, or a nazi, or that woman who will kill you in your sleep.

Enter Frank (Lucas Bond).

Frank is a young lad who is an evacuee from London, and Alice is being made to temporarily adopt Frank. You see, when London was being bombed during World War II, many children were evacuated to the outskirts of England so they wouldn’t die in the bombings while their parents stayed behind to be part of the war. Yay, save the children!

Well, here is Alice, a woman with no motherly instincts nor any desire to appreciate nor help anyone, now stuck with a young lad who is scared yet still adventurous as young lads might be.

Poor Frank.

Frank works to get acclimated for it’s unsure how long he’ll be away from his parents, and what better way than at a school. There he teams up with a girl named Edie (Dixie Egerickx), kind of the tomboy/outcast kind of girl, who is freaked when she finds out that Frank has to stay with the “witch and maybe Nazi,” Alice.

Life is weird for Frank.

As the movie moves along we get flashbacks to Alice in her young woman days, finding love with someone she can’t spend her life with, and we begin to see how Alice progressed to the jaded woman she has become.

The problem for Alice, though, is Frank, because Frank is actually interested in what Alice is researching and writing about, and yes, you can guess, they venture into a friendly relationship with Alice trying to figure out some of the motherly things she isn’t ready for.

The thing is that up to this point I’m mostly enjoying the movie. It’s progressing as a nice story of how Frank is able to get Alice to live life again and care about people, and most things are easy to figure out as you have the flashback stories of Alice in love with someone in the wrong era, a boy away from his family during war, then loss, then survival.

Then the “Oh, come on!” moments begin as it seems everything tries too hard to make you weepy.

I mean, if you didn’t see the foreshadowing leading up to Frank’s father dying, I apologize for that spoiler, but that seems so obvious from the arc of the story that it was inevitable. And that was fine, but then the progression to my going “Nice going, Edie!” started to lead to the story going where I didn’t think it needed to.

Gosh, this is so hard to write without giving things away, but let’s just say that I was happy with Alice and Frank just helping each other with life that I didn’t need other people to show up nor attempted plot twists to make the story more creative.

This was a little too bad for me because it made the movie kind of a mess at the end, trying to add too many things to “happily ever after” instead of just Alice bonding with Frank in circumstances no one would desire.

The movie, is, however, well done in terms of acting and looks. Gemma does a wonderful job transitioning from the recluse to the woman whose heart opens back up to people, and Lucas does good work playing a young lad just looking for stability in the craziness. The movie also looks beautiful, especially with the scenery of England, although the war scenes in London seem a little stagey.

Look, I can understand how some will find the “tying everything together” super sweet and tear-jerky, but I really just wish they would have let the movie get through the sadness then let Alice and Frank develop as a family. At the end it just seemed to try too hard.

It’s 3 stars out of 5 for Summerland. It’s nice, you might get weepy, but you also might just say “I didn’t need that plot twist.”

The Blu-ray had some extras, a weird behind the scenes that was just “outside” video of the movie sets, with no narration, and it’s got the standard interviews if those are your cup of tea. Not a huge reason to search for the Blu-ray, so feel free to nab this on the digital formats.

That’s it for this one! I’m Andy! L8R!!