Category: Movie Reviews

Bee Movie

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bee Movie
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: The voices of Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, John Goodman, Chris Rock
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Dreamworks Animation SKG
Kiddie Movie: It’s better for them.
Date Movie: Only if she’s the mother of the kids your are bringing.
Gratuitous Sex: Vanessa is curvy, but only in a cartoon way.
Gratuitous Violence: Some swatting at bees.
Action: Lots of flying sequences.
Laughs: A chuckle or two.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Steve Kickner, Simon J. Smith

About halfway through “Bee Movie” I thought “Enough already. Enough already with the “B” pun jokes. We get it, it’s a movie about bees.” And actually, about halfway through the movie I actually had about enough of the film. I guess I couldn’t put myself into the mindset of a six year old.

In “Bee Movie” we are shows a beehive like no other, complete with families and cars. Okay, fine, I get it, it’s a cartoon. Anyway, Barry B. Benson (voiced by Jerry Seinfeld) and Adam (voiced by Matthew Broderick) have recently graduated and it’s now time for them to decide what job at the hive they want to have for the rest of their lives. Barry, though, thinks life should have more choices rather than one job for life, and on a dare takes a trip with the “Pollen Jocks,” those bees responsible for gathering nectar and spreading pollen, and discovers our human world. He finds our world dangerous, invigorating, and strange, and would be dead if it weren’t for the kindness of Vanessa Bloome, voiced by Renee Zellweger, who is a florist (bloome, get it?), and likes bees. Barry does the one thing he isn’t supposed to do, and that is talk to humans in this case thanking Vanessa for saving his life, and Barry becomes smitten with her, and she seems kind of smitten with him as well. Eventually Barry finds out that us humans have been setting up bee camps and harvesting their honey, honey that is rightly the property of the bees. So, with the help of Vanessa, Barry sets out to sue the food companies that sell honey, not realizing the consequences of returning the honey to the beehives.

Oh, why am I even trying to come up with a synopsis for this movie? In the likes of cartoons the movie is alright, and I’m sure the kids will enjoy the bright colors and flying sequences, but I was rather bored with most of the movie. I also couldn’t believe they invoked a slavery reference of our enslaving the bees.

I have to say, even with all of the publicity for the movie, I was never really excited about seeing the film. The premise seemed cute enough, but not enough to last for an hour and a half, and you can only do so many bee/flower/insect puns without them getting old.

For me I’m giving “Bee Movie” 1 star out of 5, for the kids it’s probably somewhere around a 3 starrer, so I suppose I’ll sort of meld them together and give it 2 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bedazzled

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bedazzled
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, Frances O’Connor
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Kiddie Movie: Some of the talk gets pretty adult, especially the penis size hints.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to see you ogle over Elizabeth Hurley.
Gratuitous Sex: Elizabeth dresses in some nice outfits, but that’s about it.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: A couple of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The wish sequence as the pro basketball player.
Memorable Quote: “All five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum.”
Directed By: Harold Ramis

“Bedazzled” isn’t that bad of a movie, or at least an idea, but there were just so many things wrong with this remake that as I tried to think of the good things, well, even Elizabeth Hurley dressed skimpily throughout the movie didn’t even work.

In this movie you’ve got Elliot (Brendan Fraser). If you’re in corporate America, he’s the employee who is always trying to butt his way into your fun with your co-workers. He always tries to be friendly but so much so that you can’t stand him. You dodge him, give him the wrong times to meet you, and just can’t stand him even though all he really wants to be is your friend. He also has no luck with the ladies and the one girl he really likes, Alison (Frances O’Connor), won’t give him the time of day. Enter The Devil, played by Elizabeth Hurley. Easy enough, Elliot gets seven wishes and The Devil gets his soul. But The Devil is, well, tricky, so if you don’t make your wish with utmost detail, The Devil will technically make it come true, but not really how you want it.

Cases in point: Make a wish to be rich and powerful and married to Alison – get to be a drug lord whose wife is cheating on him. Make a wish to be a professional basketball player – get to be better than Michael Jordan but dumber than a box of rocks and with a small penis. Make a wish to be suave and deboner, a writer, a smooth talker, and want Alison to love you – get to be gay. You get the idea. The problem is Elliot never catches on to the Devil’s plan until he has two wishes left (The Devil says he has one wish, that the Big Mac and drink counted as a wish, but I contend that since that wish was before the contract was signed that it doesn’t count – get me Johnny Cochran!), and is just sick of the whole thing. Then he figures his way out of the contract without even knowing it, we get this sappy commentary about good and evil, and in the end Elliot finds the girl of his dreams.

What’s good? Hmm? Well, some of the wish sequences were cute, but you’ve already seen the good parts in the trailers, like when he can speak Spanish and realizes he can speak Spanish. Brendan isn’t bad as the hopeless romantic who doesn’t have a clue, but it just doesn’t push the funny parts to the next level.

What’s bad? Hmm? Elizabeth Hurley is a crappy Devil. Sure, there are parts where she looks good, but she just doesn’t seem to really have any evil in her, at least not in this role. Then there are the dream sequences. Is Elliot really that stupid that it takes him five wishes to figure out the Devil’s plan? I guess so. Then there is Frances O’Connor in one of the worst performances I have ever seen. Sure there are times when she seems sweet and you can see why Elliot would like her, but quite honestly, it seemed like she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing in her role. I’m not saying that it’s her fault, but her character is useless and there are times when it looks like she’s standing there, laughing at the joke, rather than staying in her role.

By the end of the movie, especially with the good versus evil commentary by The Devil to Elliot, I was just tired. The movie was only an hour and a half but it seemed like an eternity (how’s that for a cheesy review-line!). Really, “Bedazzled” just didn’t work on too many levels and that was too bad. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5. I say wait for cable on this one, or at worst a rental when the movie you really want isn’t in stock.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Beach

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:53 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Beach
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tilda Swinton, Virginie Ledoyen, Robert Carlisle
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Kiddie Movie: Not at all.
Date Movie: I saw two couples leave in the middle – leave her at home.
Gratuitous Sex: Sex and nudity and I’m still only giving it 1 1/2 star.
Gratuitous Violence: People get shot and some shark wounds.
Action: Some chasing.
Laughs: The movie.
Memorable Scene: The shark wounds.
Memorable Quote: “We’re in dope heaven!”
Directed By: Danny Boyle

Because I’m usually pretty easy to please, if you put some quality violence, some nice gore, a hot lady or two (getting naked is a plus), and the potential for a good movie, well, everything can suck and I’ll still give it a decent rating. “The Beach” had all of that, but I just can’t get past the scene where Richard (Leonardo DiCaprio) goes nuts. It was at that point that I saw two couples leave the movie, and I wanted to also except I had to see where it would all end up. It ended up with a commercial for Macintosh.

I don’t know, ever since “Titanic” it seems like I’ve seen DiCaprio trying to get out of the teenage heart-throb persona that it gave him. There were the stories of his bar hopping in L.A., there was his role in “Celebrity,” and now there is “The Beach.” As Richard, he narrates his way into Bangkok, where he seems to intentionally over-emphasize the “kok” part when he says it, finding himself sick of home and looking for adventure. Shacking up in a bug-infested hotel, one room next to him holds the hot Francoise (Virginie Ledoyen) while the opposite room holds the psychotic Daffy (Robert Carlisle). While sharing a joint through the wall partition, Daffy tells Richard of this beautiful island paradise, with the coolest beach and the best pot. As Richard’s fate has it, the next day there is a map on his door to the island, Daffy went totally wacky, and Richard asks Francoise and her boyfriend if they want to try and find the island. They go along.

So, yea, they find the island paradise, half inhabited by pot-growing folk ready to kill anyone who invades their plantation, the other half inhabited by a commune of hippie-folk, seemingly self-sufficient until someone makes a run to the mainland when the necessities of home become more important than the beautiful beach. Well, Richard falls for Francoise (there’s a surprise – who wouldn’t?), she falls for him, they get naked in the lagoon, and all is well until a group of folks who Richard slipped a copy of the map to try to show up. Richard is sent to a twisted solitary confinement waiting for them to arrive so he can steal the map back, and in the meantime, well, goes insane.

I suspended my disbelief about the movie up until this point because it was a movie, but when Richard finds himself hallucinatingly traipsing through the jungle after the enemy, my suspension of reality turned to “when is this going to end?”

DiCaprio does a decent job as the thrill-seeking Richard, Ledoven is hot and gets naked, you’ve got a couple of gruesome shark bites, and some folks get gunned down. The movie had potential, but seemed to overdue it on the shock value instead of keeping a little bit of realism. My main case in point on this was Daffy’s suicide. The story was that Daffy slit his wrists, his guts, or maybe his neck. Fine, the dude killed himself, but the room, with blood everywhere, and I mean everywhere, looked like his body exploded rather than just a suicide. Maybe a hopped-up-on-drugs suicide can splatter blood all over a room, what do I know, but it just bothered me.

So, with that, I say wait for cable on this one, even with the blood, gore, sex, nudity, and potential for a good story. It just doesn’t go there. 1 ½ star out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Be Cool

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:59 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Be Cool
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, Harvey Keitel, The Rock
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: MGM
Kiddie Movie: The story is adult. Leave them at home.
Date Movie: Good for everyone.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s PG-13, so mostly just suggestive.
Gratuitous Violence: There is some shooting.
Action: No chase scenes, really.
Laughs: I laughed a lot.
Memorable Scene: Any scene with Sin and his posse.
Memorable Quote: “Unless you want an ‘R’ rating, you can only use the ‘F’ word once. I say ‘Fuck that.’ That’s it.” (Editor’s note: And that was it for the use of the ‘F’ word)
Directed By: F. Gary Grey

I don’t know why, maybe because I never read any books by Elmore Leonard and I haven’t seen “Get Shorty,” so I didn’t have any preconceived notions of how the movie should be, and even though John Travolta didn’t seem that great in this movie, I enjoyed “Be Cool.” From the others reviews I’ve seen, it seems that there goes some more of my movie review credibility out the window. Anyway, here’s the story…
Travolta plays Chili Palmer. It seems he’s pretty much sick of being in the movie business and thinks that maybe the music business is where he should stick his nose, especially since he is acquainted with a rising talent, Linda Moon (Christina Milian), and also the recently widowed record executive Edie (Uma Thurman), whose husband, Tommy (James Woods) was gunned down during a meeting with Chili. Chili takes Linda away from Raji (Vince Vaughn who has yet to let me down), her manager who thinks he’s black and totally overacts the part. And then the trouble starts.

Like normal, things don’t always go as easy as you would like. It seems Linda has already signed a contract with Raji and his boss, music dude Nick (Harvey Keitel), so Chili has to figure out a way to resolve that issue. Also, it appears Edie’s record company owes producer Sin (Cedric the Entertainer) a big chunk of change, but sadly, the company is broke and Sin is threatening that some heads will role if he doesn’t get his cash. There’s also some Russian dudes who aren’t too happy with Chili, and the feds think somehow Chili has some information on the mob in town. Who you gonna call when things are this out of control? Of course, you’re gonna call Steven Tyler, whose clothes you used to wash, and he will somehow save the day. Yes, that is correct, you call Steven Tyler, get him to listen to a tape of Linda, and suddenly things work out in the end. And, oh yea, toss in a gay, Samoan, “wants to be an actor” bodyguard named Elliot (The Rock).

Look, there are way to many plot things going on to have me write a full synopsis, but yes, all of them are intertwined in one way or another, and I thought it was marvelous, especially when it all came full-circle as Nick opens the package at the pawn shop.

I don’t know if this was the intent, and I think it’s the reason I liked this movie so much, but for me this was a movie making fun of the entire music, and for what it’s worth, movie industries. There was Raji, totally overacting the white dude who wants to act black, complete with the red, pimp outfit, and unable to command sounding street. Sin and his gangsta’s so overplayed the gangsta stereotype it was hilarious, and the Russian mob was even over-the-top. Not to mention The Rock who is my first pick for an Oscar next year because even if you have no interest in this movie, he is freakin’ hilarious and a reason to see this movie. All that, and I think I’m back in love with Uma Thurman and I’m not really sure why.

I took the movie for a campy look at Hollywood and had a good time with it. You might not, and obviously a lot of other critics didn’t see it the same way, but I know a lot of people around me were laughing. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for me. Maybe don’t try to take the movie as seriously as other people I suppose.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Battlefield Earth

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:57 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Battlefield Earth
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Kiddie Movie: They might like it, but I doubt it.
Date Movie: Only if you want to break up with them.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of shooting of funky lasers, but it ends up lame.
Action: Some chase scenes.
Laughs: The movie.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Roger Christian

This review will be short. Why? Because I don’t want to waste your time the way the movie “Battlefield Earth” wasted mine. I can usually find some good in a movie, maybe a song, maybe some quality violence, maybe some nudity, maybe a good line. But “Battlefield Earth” had none. Sure, somebody out there might like it, but it sure as hell wasn’t me.

Story wrap up: It’s 1000 years from now, the earth has been taken over by aliens, some people are living like American Indians (the resurrection of the tee-pee) on the run, a dude goes to see the world, stumbles across a miniature golf course and a mall (good to see they held up so well), gets captured, and decides he can save the world. Also, a bad dude alien is pissed because he got caught sleeping with the bosses daughter so the boss won’t let him come back to the home planet, so the bad dude decides to use humans to steal some gold. He teaches our hero the alien language, how to fly, and lets this human learn some world history. Hero rounds up some other people, they all learn how to fight, fly, and a bad cliché “Piece of cake” which I found odd since I’m thinking cake has long since become a memory. They save the world, but leave the door open for the sequel. God I hope not.

The story isn’t that bad, maybe the book isn’t that bad, but the movie is. You get two hours of bad dialogue, pretty cheesy effects, screen swipes that can be done better by 95% of movie students, lots of things that make no sense in any real world, and camera shots that look like the cameraman had one leg shorter than the other (just about every shot/scene was tilted at an angle, I’m sure for some dramatic effect, but it just gave me a stiff neck).

Don’t waste your money at the theater, don’t wait for the video, don’t worry if you don’t have HBO or Showtime when it comes to cable, and read a book when it comes to regular TV. I wasted my time on this one so you don’t have to. Zero stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Barnyard

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:23 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Barnyard
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Voices of: Kevin James, Courteney Cox, Danny Glover, Andie MacDowell, Wanda Sykes
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Keep the younger ones away, or be prepared for some nightmares.
Date Movie: Only if you’re going to the movie with your kids.
Gratuitous Sex: Technically there are a lot of boobs hanging out, but nah.
Gratuitous Violence: The coyote scenes are a little rough for the little ones.
Action: There’s some car chasing going on.
Laughs: A couple of funny moments.
Memorable Scene: The cows being chased by the police, ala “Cops.”
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Steve Oedekerk

First off, let me get this out of the way. I know cows are female, yet in the movie “Barnyard” cows are portrayed as both male and female. For those of you complaining about this, get over it. It’s a movie, all of the animals talk and party, and maybe the easiest thing for you to do, if you can’t get past the fact of male cows with udders, just consider them man-boobs. Fine, let’s get to the story…

As life has it in this cartoon world of “Barnyard,” farm animals can walk on two legs and talk to each other, but the underlying rule is that they only do it when us humans aren’t watching. For this movie, Ben (voiced by Sam Elliott) is the leader of the animals on the farm, and also their chief protector from the big, bad, coyotes. He’s got a son, Otis (Kevin James), who pretty much just likes to goof off and have fun. Ben is constantly trying to get Otis to take life a little more serious, to grow up as it would be, and maybe take over someday as the leader of the animals, but Otis wants nothing of it, he just wants to party. But wouldn’t you know it, in a cartoon story that isn’t that surprising, there is tragedy at the farm, with Ben biting the bullet, or rather the coyotes biting Ben, and the rest of the movie being about Otis overcoming his grief, stepping up to the plate, and making Dad proud. And wouldn’t you also know it, Otis does just that, although it does take him a little while to get it all figured out.

In the meantime we are treated to Otis falling in love with the new cow on the farm, Daisy (Courteney Cox), find out that cows know how to not only drive cars, but also how to hot-wire them, that the animals can put together a decent band, that little boys shouldn’t go cow-tipping around this farm, and although the animals aren’t really sure what a vegan is, they are sure grateful that there farmer is one.

I have to say that I did enjoy the story of the movie, even if it pretty much is a retelling of the “son must learn to grow-up” story. I also have to say that as cute as the movie was at times, it didn’t do that much for my entertainment value, and the little girl in back of me didn’t seem to find it very entertaining either judged by her fidgety-ness and kicking my seat throughout the film. I guess the only reason I can point my finger at why I wasn’t entertained was simply because once the joke was done, about acting like animals in front of humans and acting like humans when the humans are gone, the jokes aren’t really there anymore.

Ben’s dying seemed to be a little rough for some of the younger kids, and the coyotes also seemed pretty scary for them as well, so even though this is geared towards the kids, keep in mind it is PG and the little ones might have some coyote nightmares for a few days. But all in all, I guess I’m sort of split on this movie, so I’ll just wrap it up with 2 ½ stars out of 5. The movie does have some fun moments, but other than those, I just left the theater going “That was okay, I guess.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bad Santa

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:31 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bad Santa
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Brett Kelly, Lauren Graham, Bernie Mac
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Dimension Films
Kiddie Movie: Definitely not, no matter how loudly the kids scream they want to see the movie.
Date Movie: If she’s got a twisted sense of humor.
Gratuitous Sex: Some pretty wild scenes.
Gratuitous Violence: Some punches get thrown, and some gunfire, too.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Lots of them.
Memorable Scene: Too many to mention.
Memorable Quote: Too many to mention.
Directed By: Terry Zwigoff

The trailers for “Bad Santa” sure provided a challenge for parents as their kids were now asking “Daddy, why is Santa bad?” I’m not a parent, nor do I pretend to be, but I suppose parents had to adjust their explanation of Santa Clause a bit, maybe explaining that sometimes Santa’s helpers, you know, those ones at the mall, end up being naughty, not nice, and Santa still treats them the same and they will get a lump of coal in their stocking hung by the fireplace. Anyway, I wasn’t presented with that problem, I was just looking for a twisted Christmas movie, and I sure got it.

Pretty much the story goes that Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) and Marcus (Tony Cox) infiltrate a different mall every year, posing as Santa and his helper elf, in order to case out the joint and rob it of its loot. Every year Willie says that this will be his last job, then when the money runs out, well, he’s back to calling up Marcus setting up the next job. As it turns out, this time The Kid (Brett Kelly) shows up on Santa’s lap, and then lets Willie into his life. Early on we don’t really know if The Kid really believes Willie is Santa, we hope not, and that somehow Willie is just taking the place of a father-figure, a really twisted father-figure at that, because The Kid’s parents are going to be away from the house for a few years (the kid is being taken care of by his totally out of it grandmother).

Meanwhile, Willie goes about the holiday season being totally hammered, or banging fat women in the dressing rooms, at least until he meets up with Sue (Lauren Graham), a bartender with a Santa fetish, even if Santa is a drunk loser. Marcus, on the other hand, just keeps trying his best to hold the con together, mostly threatening legal action for firing a black elf.

“Bad Santa” is a dark comedy in every sense of the word, yet still humorous in a truly adult way. But for those of you easily offended, who were appalled at the trailer running during a football game and having to explain things to your kids, well, you probably won’t find the humor in it at all. The ending gives you a couple of fun plot twists, and although I’m usually one rooting for the darkest of endings, “Bad Santa” actually ended in a sappy, yet still dark, sort of way.

This movie is definitely not for everyone. If you found the trailer the least bit offensive, stay away, but for the rest of you there is a humor present. You won’t be huddling around the fireplace year after year waiting for “Bad Santa” to come on the TV so you can watch it with your family, and I highly doubt TBS will be having 24 hours of “Bad Santa”, but for adult humor at the holiday time, this one fits the bill. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Bad Santa.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bad News Bears

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:53 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bad News Bears
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Greg Kinnear, Marcia Gay Harden, Sammi Kane Kraft, Jeffrey Davis
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Kiddie Movie: I’d say keep anyone under ten at home unless you want them to be a potty-mouth.
Date Movie: She might just be repulsed at Coach.
Gratuitous Sex: Some push-up bras and the team is sponsored by a Gentlemen’s Club.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of kids fighting.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few.
Memorable Scene: Coach explaining to one of his players why he was at his house.
Memorable Quote: Too many one-liners to pick.
Directed By: Richard Linklater

I have to admit that I was pretty much under the notion that it was totally unnecessary for them to do a remake of “Bad News Bears.” Then I saw the movie and I have to admit I was highly entertained. I will warn you, however, and apparently no one checks the movie ratings, that this version is PG-13, and I an hoping that the dad who brought his to not-too-well-mannered kids who appeared to be around 5 or 6, well, that he has a lot of explaining to do to mom when they start cursing up a storm around the house.

Now I don’t remember the original that well to really comment or compare, I really just remember the scene from “Breaking Training” where Tanner is running around the Astrodome because they wouldn’t let them finish the game. That being said, I’m not going to try to compare them. Let get to the story…

For “Bad News Bears” we get Billy Bob Thornton playing the drunk, Coach Buttermaker. He’s a pest exterminator by day who gets hired by Liz (Marcia Gay Harden) to coach a team of misfits. It seems Liz didn’t like that the lousy kids couldn’t be on a team, did some kind of protest/lawsuit, and now there’s pretty much a bunch of good little league teams, and the Bears. With their first game being a complete massacre, Buttermaker decides their only hope is to get Amanda (Sammi Kane Kraft) to pitch, and the team actually gets a little better. Then of course there’s the bad boy, Kelly (Jeffrey Davis), who ends up coming around after an encounter with rival coach Roy (Greg Kinnear). Yes, you can guess, our rag-tag team of losers eventually learn how to play as a team, Buttermaker realizes that being an asshole coach isn’t really a good way to help kids have fun, and everyone learns valuable lessons about teamwork, friendship, raising kids, and if winning is everything.

Kids insulting and fighting with each other is still funny to this day, and “Bad News Bears” makes the most of it, though they do take it to a level that is probably good for the ten and over crowd, but leave the younger ones at home. Billy Bob is great in this role, similar to his role in “Bad Santa,” just a little nicer I suppose, and the kids in this flick do a great job at messing with each other. In a showing, though, of how times have changed from the original, it appears that being sponsored by a bail bondsman isn’t as bad. There is an ode to “Chico’s Bail Bonds,” but for our 2005 Bears, “Bo-Peep’s Gentlemen’s Club” is our new sponsor, which isn’t a bad thing because they do seem to send some cheerleaders to the game.

I found “Bad News Bears” enjoyable for the older crowd, and I’m sure some parents may be offended at the language and actions of both the kids and their Coach. Lots of chuckles, and couple of good laughs, and just almost two hours of entertainment and I’m giving “Bad News Bears” 4 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Bachelor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Bachelor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Chris O’Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored.
Date Movie: She might make you got and then she’ll hate it.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Gary Sinyor

“The Bachelor” had a pretty cool premise. Chris O’Donnell plays Jimmy. He finds out that in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance, as well as save the pool table factory, he has to get married by his 30th birthday. The problem is that his 30th birthday is about 30 hours away and he’s totally screwed up his relationship with the girl he wants to but isn’t ready to marry, Anne (Renee Zellweger). Since he thinks she’s out of the picture on a trip out of the country he goes on a quest tracking down all of his old girlfriends to make them his bride. I wanted the movie to be funny, even though as a romantic comedy you know exactly where this movie would end up, but there was just something missing. Maybe I just couldn’t fathom how Jimmy could find all of his old girlfriends in the 30 hour span, maybe I just didn’t understand why he couldn’t want to initially marry Anne (sorry, but if I was dating her there would be no hesitation in my face to marry her), maybe the jokes were pretty lame, or maybe I’m just becoming a bitter, single, wondering were my future wife is thirty-something dude. I don’t know, but I was just let down.

Alright, let’s fill in some story blanks. Jimmy and Anne have been together about 3 years. Like I said before, Jimmy’s grandfather dies and leaves the stipulation in the will that to get the 100 millionish dollars Jimmy would have to fulfill some conditions (I did like the “What is this, ‘Bruester’s Millions?'” line), like staying married for 10 years and having a kid within 5. It should be simple except that Jimmy already botched asking Anne to marry him so she is questioning the relationship and is supposedly on her way out of the country. So, Jimmy searches for his old girlfriends (could you find 8 of your old girlfriends in a 30 hour span? He did.), and they all turn him down, mostly through his own bumbling of explaining what was going on. Hmm, I’m thinking for 50 million dollars (figuring I’d get half), hell, I’ll marry him. Anyway, it turns out Anne didn’t go overseas, just with her sister to their parents anniversary dinner, and she realized she really loves him and is on her way back to find him (she doesn’t know about the money). Well, low and behold they find each other (she finds out about the money but realizes he really wants to marry her), and it’s a happy ending.

I don’t know, I’m thinking the movie could have been funnier if Jimmy didn’t have a girlfriend and had 30 hours to find Miss Right because then you could have been routing for a certain girl instead of knowing the ending. The things women would do to win him over could have been hilarious, the running from crazed dudettes could have been more real, and it still could have had a storybook ending.

In the end I was disappointed and with that “The Bachelor” get 1 ½ stars out of 5 from me. I love a good romantic comedy, this just wasn’t one of them.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Baby Mama

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Baby Mama
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Steve Martin, Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, Dax Shepard, Maura Tierney
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Kiddie Movie: They will be bored and you will probably have to answer where babies actually come from.
Date Movie: It’s a 5 Star movie on The Dudette Scale.
Gratuitous Sex: Cleavage, talk, and pushed up boobies are all you will get.
Gratuitous Violence: Umm, no.
Action: Umm, no again.
Laughs: Probably more for the dudettes who can understand it more than us dudes.
Memorable Scene: The shower scene (Dudes, it’s not what you instantly put into your head).
Memorable Quote: “My avatar is dressed like a whore!”
Directed By: Michael McCullers

I saw “Baby Mama” in the theater, and even though this movie screamed dudette-flick, I enjoyed it. The weird thing is that as I watched the DVD, pretty much everything I thought in the theater crept back into my head, and you know what? I still liked it.

“Baby Mama” is a tough movie to review, but not because of the content but maybe just because I see too many movies. The reason I say that is because as the movie starts out, I was buying the entire process, but the movie shifted to “let’s put in a twist” and then “make the ending obvious mode.” I was already set with the original “obvious ending mode,” but I pretty much hated the one the movie finished with. I suppose we’ll start with the basic story, first…

Tina Fey, she of “Saturday Night Live,” “30 Rock,” and “Mean Girls” fame plays Kate. Kate is a 37 year old business woman who has given up love and children for her career, and although she’s not looking for love, she now wants a baby. Unfortunately for Kate she is cursed with a T-shaped uterus, which I guess means it is nearly impossible for her to conceive a baby, even when she was going the sperm donor/in vitro route. Adoption isn’t an option for her, either, so she ends up looking for a surrogate mother with the help of Chaffee Bicknell (Sigourney Weaver) and her surrogate agency. Enter Angie (Amy Pohler) and Carl (Dax Shepard), two, over-the-top, for no better way to put it, white trash folks, looking for a paycheck. Angie agrees to have Kate’s baby, Angie and Carl break up so Angie moves in with Kate, and we now have a white trash girl living with a female executive, but they both have a lot they can learn from each other, especially Kate as she finds a new man, Rob (Greg Kinnear), while Angie, well, she needs to learn some basic manners and how to sing.

Angie and Kate are bonding as Angie moves along in her pregnancy, and for me the new love interest and Kate’s over-aggressive mother were fun enough, but suddenly Michael McCullers (he wrote and directed the movie), I guess, felt the movie needed some kind of diabolical turn to mix things up. I didn’t need mixing up, and once the mixing up happened I instantly knew how this movie was going to end.

Now that might sound a bit obscure, but I really hate to give this movie away by saying anything else, thus ruining it for most of you, the casual movie-goer. Ughh, I so want to give it away!!!!

So let me get to the good and ignore the bad; Tina Fey and Amy Pohler were fantastic as polar opposites actually needing each other and letting their bond as baby mama and surrogate mama grow. Hooray! Sigourney Weaver was great as the creepy, overly fertile Chaffee Bicknell. And the person who made me crack up the most was Steve Martin as Barry, the hippie/guru/wanting his new store to have the “essence of a shell he found on the beach while he was walking” man. So as far as star-power goes, I’ve got to recommend “Baby Mama,” even for the dudes. For me, well, I was just disappointed the film folks felt they needed to “stir-up” the original story.

Let’s see, me, being disappointed in the ending story, I’m giving the movie 2 ½ stars, but on “The Dudette” scale the movie is probably the perfect length with an uber-happy ending for 5 stars on that scale. I’ll average them together and round up because I loved Steve Martin’s character and Tina Fey’s slutty outfit therefore leaving “Baby Mama” with 4 stars out of 5.

For you dudettes out there, especially those that are mama’s, go ahead and round up your dudette friends and have a dudette DVD viewing party, leaving the kids with your dude, and for you dudes out there, “Baby Mama” isn’t that horrible, and just remember payback can be a bitch when you rent “Iron Man”!

As far as the DVD goes, I’m still in the dark ages, without a Blu-Ray player, so I couldn’t partake in cooler things like getting insights into scenes instantly, without stopping the movie, or having to listen to the entire commentary, and fine, as much as I liked the movie, I don’t think I would be creating clips, “My Scenes” as they would be on the Hi-Def side, but on the standard DVD side, I have to say I was happier with the actual ending, rather than the alternate ending, there were a couple of quick, “Hey, this is how this movie ended up being made!” clips, but I have to say that there were a couple of deleted scenes, that although I can understand why they were deleted, they were funny as hell. Do your self a favor and at least watch the deleted scenes.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!