Category: Television Shows

By:

The Dude on the Right
So, yes, I wasted two hours and five minutes of my life watching an over-bloated
finale of "American Idol," and even though I recapped it yesterday

in my blog,

for this podcast I’ve got some audio!  Yup, product placement was all
over the place, the Idol people had two hours to tell us who was this year’s
"American Idol," but if Ryan Seacrest had held the suspense about 30 more
seconds, well, millions of TiVo viewers would have been (or at least me),
cursing hell and high-water because the TiVo broadcast would have ended with
"This year’s ‘American Idol’ is David….  bing ‘(Would you like to
delete this recording?)’".  At least, thank God, they gave us the return of
Renaldo Lapuz, singing "We’re Brothers Forever," or "I Am Your Brother," or I
don’t care, because he was great, especially with the USC Marching Band, and I
can’t help but sing along!  David Archuleta fans, I am so sorry, but David
Cook fans, well, one last "Hooray!!!!"

It is, though, the upcoming Memorial
Day Weekend, I almost came close to cancelling my cable TV service, and
hopefully the only TV show I’ll get sucked into this summer will be "The
Bachelorette!"

Happy listening!

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
For you west coasters, wondering who won "American Idol" this year, I would like
to apologize for spoiling it for you, but for the love of any God, space alien,
or cosmos wondering about how we are here on this planet, PLEASE DO NOT WASTE
YOUR TIME WATCHING THIS FINALE!!!!! (Although, if you TiVo it, head straight for
the one hour and eleven minute mark to hear the greatest Idol singer ever). 
I watched (some) of it, and here’s how it went.

Yes, Ryan Seacrest bragged
about how many votes were cast (something like 97.5 gabajillion, or at least
97.5 million votes), split between 56% for David, and 44% for the other David,
they did a "here’s what’s happening in their hometown" clip, and then another
lame sing-a-long.  Then David and David did a bad duet of Chad Kroeger’s
(he’s the lead singer dude from Nickelback) version of "Hero," and then a
bizarre, crappy, piece of shit, plug for the next Mike Myers film "The Love
Guru,", trying to say that Guru Pitka is actually a real person, influencing our
two finalists.  Oh my f-ing God!  What in the hell is this total crap?
Mike Myers, you are no Sasha Baron Cohen.

The Idol folks then let Syesha come
out to show she probably should be the winner, doing a duet with Seal of
"Waiting for You," with, of course, Paula Abdul dancing her butt off.  And
after about about a 4 minute commercial break we got Jason Castro back, singing
"Hallelujah," again.  Yippee, although most of us probably already bought
the Jeff Buckley version on iTunes.  And here we go, it’s just want we want
to see after another song, a product placement commercial for some Ford cars! 
Another "Yippee" is in order!

Now we get the girl contestants singing Donna
Summer’s "She Works Hard for the Money," in group fashion, only letting us
remember how hot some of these dudettes were before they got booted from our
memories because they couldn’t really sing that great, and then, for more
lameness, having Donna Summer come out looking almost dazed and confused singing
what is going to be her new single.  Do we really want Disco back? 
Out of the groove of her latest "hit," Donna’s now into "Last Dance," with her
having the excitement of, well, I’m sorry for being mean, but having none,
letting Syesha show that yes, she is actually a singer.  And now, with the
Donna Summer debacle done we get a Diet Coke commercial from like what, 3
summers ago?

Uggghhh!!!  (Can you tell I’m really flustered watching this
show?)

At least we got a T-Mobile commercial from like a year or two ago where
Dad says to his daughter "Maybe you should have uglier friends."  And then
with another commercial break I TiVo’d through, we get Carly Smithson and
Michael John singing an overproduced and "why the hell is this being done as a
duet" version Joe Cocker/The Box Tops "The Letter."

And at the 43 minute mark,
thank the Lord for Jimmy Kimmel!  Oh, my God, it’s only the 43 minute mark! 
That means there is probably another hourish left before we actually get to find
out who is the next American Idol.

Now the guys get to sing Bryan Adam’s
"Summer of ’69."  What the hell is it with having Ameircan Idol people sing
songs released when they weren’t even born yet, and now, yes, we actually get
Bryan Adams to sing something new from him, "I Thought I’d Seen Everything." 
Don’t get me wrong, I like Bryan Adams, but Bryan Adams?

Yay, now David Cook
gets to sing with ZZ Top, doing "Sharp Dressed Man."  For some reason, I
don’t think I can actually hear David’s guitar.

Oh my God, I just can’t take
it anymore, now I’m getting Graham Nash singing "Teach Your Children" with
Brooke White.  Actually, I almost like this performance, but I still can’t
take it anymore, can’t blog about this anymore.  I’m going to watch some
baseball now to see if the Cubs, White Sox, or Indians win, and will be back
later to just announce who won.

Thank God for TiVo!

Okay, yes, I couldn’t
resist, I checked back, seeing that the Cubs were losing, and I’m torn between
the White Sox and the Indians winning their game, and what do I see back on
American Idol, but the greatest singer of all time, the "I Am Your Brother"
dude, Renaldo Lapuz.  I actually have him as ringtones for some of my
friends!  Screw Fleetwood Mac, Renaldo singing "I Am Your Brother" with the
USC Marching Band is a hell of lot better than "Tusk."

It’s back to
baseball….

Okay, the baseball is boring, it’s back to Idol.  Oh crap,
it’s Jordin Sparks showing, and damn, I hate to be mean again, but why can’t she
lose a couple of pounds to make herself a totally hot singer?  There’s
that, and I’m no fashion guru, but what’s up with the outfit that explodes her
hips?

Oh, thank God, another "product placement" commercial filtered in to the
American Idol broadcast.  Yup, there’s a movie coming out called "Tropic
Thunder," and you might know it now.

Okay, never mind, Carrie Underwood is now
on the show, showing why I might want to convert to vegetarianism, with a skirt
that, well, umm, I’m going to pause this really quick.  Did I say I love my
Tivo yet?

Okay, I’m back, that was quick….

Another group song – it’s back
to baseball…

The Cubs are still losing, the White Sox are now beating my
Cleveland Indians with a home run, I guess I’m back to Idol…

Ughhhh! 
Just give me the winner already!  It’s been an hour and 47 minutes already! 
This is really why I’m starting to hate this show.  And oh my God, they
just brought out George Michael, who, surprisingly enough, has a tour to
promote, and he’s singing "Praying For Time."  Okay, he did a nice job with
that.  But, of course, we have to promote his tour!

Finally, please, oh
for the love of God, please, just tell me who in the hell is the winner!

Final
thoughts from me – get back to why we actually watch the show, quit with the
crap.  The result’s shows should only be a half an hour long, the
contestants should be able to sing full versions of the songs and be given a
chance to be performers, and if you are getting mentors for these people, get
actual mentors.

And so, David Cook wins "American Idol."  Good for him! 
I’m tired, I have to get this posted, and I hope you didn’t waste your time
watching this two-hour, bloated, version of a finale, and just TiVo’d your way
to the end.

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Yippee!  We are down to the two David’s, Mr. Archuleta and Mr. Cook, and
I’m only still here because, well, it’s a Tuesday, there really isn’t anything
on TV, and I’ve been doing this damn "American Idol" recap for the entire season
so I might as well hang in there for the last of the singing.  Who will
win, who will you vote for, will any of them trip and fall on their face (God,
that would be great, wouldn’t it?), and how much did they have to pay Michael
Buffer to say "This… is… ‘Americaaaaan Idooool…’",  so…

Let’s go…

First thought, quit with the "Oh, we need a theme, let’s make this like a boxing
match" motif.  We don’t care.  We just want to hear them sing, and why
are we still going back to Andrew Lloyd Webber?  Yes, I admit, I like
"Cats" and "Jesus Christ Superstar," but how many 12 year old girls do? 
Just frackin’ sing!  And it took them over 14 minutes to get to the …

1st Round of Songs – Picked By Clive Davis
David Cook
 – Sings "I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For" by U2
 – It finally looks like he might actually want to be a performer instead
of just a singer.  He sounds good enough, is working the stage, and little
David might have some problems if big David keeps the night like this. 

David
Archuleta
 – Sings – "Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on My" by Elton John
 – This song so much fits into his wheelhouse, and he’s trying to keep his
eyes open and not squint, but he fades back and forth on the eye-squinting thing
that I just can’t help but notice it.  He finally worked to break out of
his shell, also, actually being a performer, but you still see a little more
apprehension, mostly just from lack of experience, I suppose.

Here comes the…

2nd Round of Songs – From the Song Competition
David Cook
 – Sings "Dream Big" by Emily Shacklton?
 – David gets to play guitar, to a song I actually like, in the pop-rock kind of
way.  Man, this could almost be a song by Jim Peterik for a "Rocky"
soundtrack.  It’s kind of cheesy (in a good way), but one, with the right
band, could end up on every iPod of people who exercise for inspiration. 
I’m guessing Simon isn’t familiar with any of the "Rocky" soundtracks.

David
Archuleta
 – Sings – "In This Moment" by Ryan Gilmore?
 – Oh crap, David A. is back into his "I need to be the next Josh Groban"
moment.  The song is nice enough, but we know exactly where Mr. Archuleta
is looking to take his career – to an Oprah Winfrey performance hoping to
supplant Sr. Groban.  He is still trying to open his eyes, but it still
isn’t working.

Here
comes the…

3rd Round of Songs – Picked By The Singers
David Cook
 – Sings "The World I Know" by Collective Soul
 – Dude, if you win this thing it will only because you have the most loyal fan
base because why in the hell do you pick a sort of obscure song for your finale? 
Sure, you sang it nice enough, but do you actually think any of the viewers who
would actually vote for you know a song that was popular in, what, 1995? 
Let’s see, the 13 year old girls weren’t even born yet.  So much for
converting any of them to your side.  I think Simon still realizes that
David Cook, right now, has the best potential for a music career.

David
Archuleta
 – Sings – "Imagine" by, umm, duh.
 – Oh, hell, who cares anymore?  He still squints, he still "croons," and
the 13 year olds who aren’t voting for David Cook probably heard their parents
actually play the original version of this song, and are voting for this David
anyway.

Let’s wrap this up…
I think David Cook is the better performer, David Archuleta needs to really
learn how to open up his eyes (that comes with experience), but the more curious
thing will be to see, in the year 2013, who might still have a career?  I’m
guessing it will be Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Daughtry, and Kellie
Pickler.  And maybe next year’s "American Idol."  One of these David’s
will win, but I just don’t see long lasting careers in front of any of them. 
Maybe they’ll prove me wrong.

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
So I sometimes steal story ideas from other radio people, and while I usually
try to give some credit where I heard something,

for the start of my podcast, well, this story is all mine.  You see, I
suppose that if I am going to woo Shania Twain now that it has been announced
she is splitting from her hubby, Mutt Lange, I might have to actually get a
passport, what with her being from Canada and now living in Switzerland, and
all.  But as much as that process of getting a passport is in the works, I
heard on "The Roe Conn Show"
here in Chicago, and no, Christina Filiaggi still isn’t back on the air there as
of my typing this, that Starbucks is a detriment to society now that it is
bringing the naked mermaid back to its cups of coffee as a logo.  I’m just
pissed that I didn’t think of trying to organize a boycott, therefore getting
the publicity that some resistance group is getting.

I am still sad that
Amanda didn’t win "Survivor: Fans v. Favorites," I do know that David will win
"American Idol," and yea, I know that’s a bad joke that I stole that from a
whole ton of places, and the Spring TV season is coming to a close.  Boo
hoo.  But I also tease some earlier audio I first heard on
"The Howard Stern Show,"
leading to more audio for Stu Gotz and me when we hopefully meet on Monday!

And this podcast also has a couple of shout-out "Happy Birthday" wishes!

Happy listening!

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
So we’ve got the final three, it’s David Cook, Syesha Mercado, and David
Archuleta, and I’m starting to not care that much because this show really has
lost the reason why we watch it. 

Let’s go…
1st Round of Songs – Picked By The Judges

David
Archuleta
 – Sings – "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel
 – So, Paula Abdul tosses David a bone for this song, because all David can sing
well seems to be ballads, and David thinks it is a really pretty song.

He
still can’t open up his eyes if it could save the world, he’s pigeonholed
himself into his recording contract as a balladeer, and the underlying problem
is still that he can’t actually be a performer or work the crowd.  He sings
nice, he squints, he just can’t seem to approach the audience and get the girls
to toss their underwear at him.

David, open up your f&#$ing eyes!

Syesha Mercado
 – Sings – "If I Ain’t Got You" by Alecia Keys
 – Randy Jackson throws a song into the wheelhouse that is Syesha, and she
does her hair right keeping it straight, and dresses nice, and more importantly
she sings nice.  I do wish she would have "performed" a little more, but
the only problem I had was she let her "glee" at being there mess up the "emotionish"
of the song.

David Cook
 – Sings "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack
 – Simon actually gives someone a challenge, and David Cook took this song and
almost even made me want to download it.  What the hell is wrong with
Randy?  Simon actually knows how this contest works, and…

After the
first round I’m going, in order, David Cook, Syesha Mercado, then David
Archuleta

Here comes the…

2nd Round of Songs – Picked By The
Contestants

David
Archuleta
 – Sings – "With You" by Chris Brown
 – He decides for something new, and who the hell told him that this would be
the song to make him a star?  He looks so damn uncomfortable now trying to
be a performer/singer, and, I’m sorry, he dances like a white guy.  He
sings nice enough, but damn, he needs a few more years under his belt to
actually be a star.  Sorry, I know the young girls and grandmas like him,
but Randy and Simon called things right for him.  He better hope the
Producer people pick the perfect song for him or else he better hope his
fan-base is super-strong.

Syesha Mercado
 – Sings – "Fever" by, Peggy Lee
 – She needs to quit smiling, although I can understand how happy she might
just be to be there in the final three.  She breaks character to be happy,
then flips back into serious mode, then back into happy mode.  She’s
flaunting her voice, flaunting her, hmm, dress and body, but can’t hold the
"performance" side.  Quit smiling, stay in the "serious" character, and it
would have been perfect.

David Cook
 – Sings "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot
 – He still likes picking slightly obscure songs, decides he’ll try to be a
rocker with the guitar strapped around his neck, and does his best to rock it
out, but sadly, someone has done this before on "American Idol," and they don’t
give him enough time to actually develop the song.  He could have been
great with this song, if he could have actually done the entire song, but if the
"American Idol" folks want to know why we are tired of watching the show, it’s
because the only get half a song to sing.  He could have been so much
better.

Second Round: Syesha, David Cook, and then David Archuleta

Here
comes the…

3rd Round of Songs – Picked By The Producers of the Show
And "American Idol" Producers, you have now put yourself into "We have to
cram as much as possible into this one hour show so we can’t actually let them
sing a full song and actually develop it, so lets rush right into…

David
Archuleta
 – Sings – "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg
 – He squints, but who cares anymore?  I’m almost wondering if he has eyes
under those eyelids.  A lame song, he still can’t be a performer for it,
and still just sits there, on a stool, instead of hitting the end of the stage
and wooing the girls.  And no, Randy, he can’t sing the phone book.

Syesha Mercado
 – Sings – "Hit Me Up" by, Gia Farrell?
 – So, the "Idol" folks are trying to turn Syesha into a Beyonce/Rihanna? 
Do you people even know what you have here?  Gosh, she tried to work it,
she worked to sing it, but this is not a song you give someone who you want to
be the next Beyonce/Rihanna to try to pull off in a minute and a half, nor try
to rehearse in less than a week!  Ughh you "American Idol" producer people,
Ughh!  Syesha tried so hard, though, unless David Cook becomes a magic man,
I want Syesha to win.

David Cook
 – Sings "I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith/Diane Warren
 – He’s screwed by a lame arrangement with the "American Idol" band, and he is
so trying to work it.  The orchestra sucks, he only has 90 seconds to work
it, and as much as he tries to promote it, I thought it was kind of lame. 
I guess it sounded better on the Idol stage, because in my home, well, I hated
it.  I’ve seen Steven Tyler sing this song, and David Cook is no Steven
Tyler, mostly thanks to the band.

You know what, I’m tired of trying to figure
out who might win this thing…  So…

Let’s wrap this up…

My advice
for the "American Idol" folks is to simply quit trying to make the show
complicated, quit with not letting the singers sing full versions of songs, and
I want Syesha to win because if anyone has grown during this competition, has
come out of her shell, and has actually worked to be a performer, it is Syesha. 
If you want my opinions on how to get "American Idol" back to actually getting
people to watch, I’ll just say something simple – quit with the crap, let every
contestant sing the full version of the song, and keep the results-show to 1/2
hour.  All we care about on the results-show is who is getting booted.

If
you want someone who is a pop-idol, that person is Syesha.  I’m rooting for
her!

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!