The Dude on the Right is flying solo for this “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast, mostly because of his own fault, but he still tries to blame Stu Gotz a bit even while he talks about penis and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” The Dude also talks some martial arts with the movie “The Forbidden Kingdom,” how he is happy Artie Lange is back on The Howard Stern Show,” that the end of the world is coming, and last week might have been the best tribal council on “Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites.” The Dude also gives his tribute, sort of, to Pope Benedict coming to the United States of America.
Category: Television Shows
Movie Talk, Artie Lange Talk, End of the World Talk, “Survivor” Talk, and more Talk.
By:
The Dude on the Right
It’s mostly my fault that Stu isn’t here for
our "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast, but as it turns out I’ve got a lot to talk
about. I discuss male nudity thanks to the movie
"Forgetting Sarah Marshall," I discuss the convergence of two Martial Arts
stars thanks to
"The Forbidden Kingdom," and I am happy that Artie Lange is back on
The Howard Stern Show
after his fake tirade, set up just to give all of us fans a cliffhanger before
the Stern Show went on vacation for a week. I’m just kidding. I
don’t care what anyone says because I think the fight with Teddy Microphone was
real, that it was a damn good thing Artie didn’t actually hit Teddy, and why am
I telling you all of this when you should be listening to the podcast?
I also
think the end of the world might be near, what with an earthquake here in the
Midwest and the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox now in first place (Come on
Cleveland Indians, get your act together!), and thought Ozzie getting booted
from "Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites" might have been the best tribal council ever
last week.
See, I told you I have a lot to talk about.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
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At First I Wondered “What Was I Thinking?” An Hourish Later My Legs Weren’t Screaming “Frack!”
By:
The Dude on the Right
Today was one of those weird days when I had everything planned. My normal
morning routine would easily be in place, complete with starting laundry,
reading the Sunday Chicago Tribune while eating breakfast, and, at the same
time, catching up some some TiVo viewing. Okay, I realized I still can’t
seem to get recording the new "Battlestar Galactica" correct, muttered "What the
frack!", then tried to set up a season pass I screwed up before, hoping it
didn’t miss this week’s episode forever, or at least until the DVD season comes
out.
But
my Sunday also had a lot of errand-running planned, which, I know, is kind of
lame, but the Sunday also had planned a one hour walk in my favorite
Springbrook
Prairie Forest Preserve. I was sort of curious to see how things were
looking after they
torched the place a few weeks back, except with a slight wind blowing from
the northwest I knew heading north would make my walk back a little easier so I
wouldn’t get to see the result of the torchness. And I’m walking, and I’m
walking, and I get to the thirty minute mark and realize that I’m feeling good,
my legs feel spry, I’ve got over half a bottle of water left, and I say to
myself, "Self, why don’t you just do the entire loop? Why turn back now?"
Then I said to myself, "Self, What the hell are you thinking? Do you
realize that it will add another hour to this walk and your Sunday is already
scripted." Then I said to myself, "Self, it’s a gorgeous day, with a
slight breeze, and it hasn’t started to heat up yet." Then I said to
myself "Self, shut the hell up. We’re going for the six miles." Yes,
I’m nuts.
And so I did my first six-mile walk of the year and it felt great.
I mean, my legs didn’t get fatigued, I planned my water drinking properly, and
it was actually more refreshing walking into the slight breeze on the backside
of the loop than letting the breeze bring me home. I also got to see that
the crispy prairie was starting to turn green, the recent warm weather has
instantly put trees into budding mode, and sure, there might be one more cold
snap, or a crappy day or five here, but it looks like we have really, finally,
turned the corner into the Spring and Summer season.
And
also and, the walk was not perfect because there was one miscalculation,
especially since my original plan didn’t include a six mile, one hour and fifty
minute walk, and that was I was wearing jeans.
I woke up this morning, didn’t get myself a gun, didn’t figure for the six
mile walk, and haven’t put myself back into "shorts mode" yet, so I pulled on my
Levi’s, put on a t-shirt, embraced the subtle, slight chill in the air, not
thinking that less than two hours later I would be a little sweatier than I
planned, had people on the trail looking at me like "What the hell is that dude
wearing jeans for?", but you know what, at the end of it all, I got to see some
deer frolicking in the prairie, and sure, you can’t see the mallard in the upper
picture of the pond but I did (I so have to bring my better camera gear), and
the burnt prairie is starting to sprout grass.
So what if my running errands
were bumped by about an hour. So what if I was the dork wearing jeans on a
six mile walk. And so what if my iPhone photos aren’t up to my normal
standard. It was a beautiful day, it was great to enjoy it, and it’s
almost time to get my white, pasty legs in some shorts.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
What’s New? A Podcast of: Kristy, Priscilla, and a Cougar are Gone. But Not Google.
The Dude on the Right is in a lamenting mood for this podcast. First he’s sad that Kristy Lee Cook got booted from “American Idol,” then he really doesn’t care that Priscilla Presley got booted but is still sad that Adam Corolla was knocked out of “Dancing With the Stars” competition, he is a little torn that a cougar got shot to death in Chicago, but what makes him most sad is that Google profits makes him remember that he could be worth about $50 million bucks.
The Gloves are, Umm, Sort of Off?
The Gloves are, Umm, Sort of Off?
By:
The Dude on the Right
So as I’m updating some stories over on the
"Mostly Entertainment" site
while I’m waiting to see who is getting booted from "American Idol," I’ve got
the Democratic debate between "Crazy Eyes" Clinton and "Don’t Call Me Osama"
Obama on, and as far as I can tell it’s still the same old crap: A question is
given, the candidate responds and then somehow shifts their answer to because I
will help "Bring back the troops," "Save the economy," or "Fix health care," no
matter what the question was. Just once I would like some fire and brimstone,
and one of them, or at least in this case Barack, to just slam back "Who taught
you how to down a shot.", or Hillary to blast "Nice bowling form."
At this
phase I almost just really want "down and dirty." John McCain is just kind
of floating around, like "La, la, la, you know what, if I am President I’m going
to get rid of the gas tax! Won’t that be swell!" Why, because right
now he has no competition, he doesn’t know who he is running against, and he
just needs to try to stay in the news. Hillarity and Barackability keep
going back and forth, subtlety trying to say "I’m better than they are, nyah,
nyah, nyah!", but deep in their heart don’t you really want to know what they
really might want to say, something like:
"You’re Pastor is an idiot."
"Oh yea, let me go and videotape your Pastor for a bunch of sermons."
"Well, your wife is finally happy to be an American."
"Yea, well your hubby got his pickle whistled right under your nose."
"Fine, I hate ‘Crown Royal.’ That’s why I didn’t down it."
"Me neither, you know why? It’s from Canada!"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"Look, let’s just go to the corner bar and get a shot. You in?"
"You got it buddy. What do you suggest?"
"The old Number 7, a shot of Jack Daniels."
"Ummmmmm, Jack Daniels."
"You do know why the bottle is square?"
"No, why?"
"So that when you get pulled over by the cops it doesn’t roll out from under
your car seat."
"Wow, that’s cool. How did you learn that?"
"In colle.. I mean, on the internet. Yea, on the internet. Man
they’ve got a lot of good information there. So truthful."
"Look, I’m sorry about that ‘elitist’ remark."
"Yea, I’m just sorry I wasn’t a better bowler."
Both together: "Over the lips and through the gums, look out America here we
come!"
Look, that is a joke, but everyone, in a Presidential race, especially
as I have been paying somewhat attention to these races over the years, just
tries to tell us what they think we want to hear. For a change I really
wish someone would quit with the posturing and just be a real person. The
sad thing is that person has no chance to win.
And if Hillary plugs her
website once more during this debate, I’m going to puke.
I’ve got to go now
and see who gets booted from "American Idol."
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
It’s “Mariah Carey is in The House!” in Your Best Randy Jackson Impression Week
By:
The Dude on the Right
I used to be a fan of Mariah Carey back in her singing days, when she was
soulful and just different enough from Whitney Houston to make me like them
both. Now she seems to be a lot more about club and dance music, but I guess
that’s where the money is at. She’s the mentor of this sad-sack of
singers, and, fine, most of them aren’t sad sacks, but most of them really need
to learn how to perform because they can already sing. I wonder if Kristy
Lee Cook will turn a Mariah song into a country song… I guess we’ll find out
as the show goes along.
Let’s go…
David
Archuleta
– Sings – "When You Believe" by Mariah/Whitney?
– Mariah thinks his singing is just beautiful, and David keeps things slow,
which has become his forte. Nice leather pants, he knows his element and
is working it (though I would like to see him branch out and try to rock).
Right now the biggest problem I have with him is he can’t open up his eyes
enough to look like he is confident. He’s a squinty guy. Hopefully
being first won’t hurt him so people don’t forget about him by the end of the
night.
Carly Smithson
– Sings – "Without You" by Badfinger/Harry Nilsson
– She covered up the tattoo, which is nice, and she picked a song that isn’t
really a Mariah song which lets her sort of get out the shadow of Mariah for us
older folks. She did good, looks better tonight as a singer, but this is a
song that needs a performance, which she didn’t give. Her hope is that
Mom’s are remember this song from its original heyday, and vote for her.
Syesha Mercado
– Sings – "Vanishing" by, well, Mariah Carey
– Sings nice enough, but this song doesn’t lead one to be a performer. I
think I’m stuck on the performer part because so far, for the many weeks, no one
is looking to be one. She’s "whoa, a whoa, a whoa-ing" all over the place,
but even though she sang nice enough, where is the being a star?
Brook White
– Sings – "Hero" by, umm, Mariah Carey
– Boo hoo, so your sister didn’t plan her wedding properly to not interfere
with your being on "American Idol" plans. She kept it in a key she could
sing, did the smart thing and stuck herself at the piano, which I liked but
don’t know if the public will like it. She sang nice enough, but there are
only a few piano players who can connect with an audience, and she’s not there
yet. And she still won’t shut the hell up when the judges give their
opinions, and now there is some kind of reference to a juicy burger in a bun.
Hmm?
Kristy Lee Cook
– Sings – "Forever" by, let me guess, Mariah Carey
– What the hell kind of hug was that, the one she gave to Mariah? The key
seems to be to sing songs no one knows on Mariah Carey night, which makes us not
give a damn. You know what, we want to compare these people to Mariah
Carey, and we want them to sing Mariah songs we know even if they are from over
ten years ago. She still looks good, the performance was bland, but I
don’t mind her sticking around because, well, she is purty and probably has a
nice career ahead of her on the country side if she doesn’t screw it up.
David Cook
– Sings "Always Be My Baby" by damn, Mariah Carey, again.
– Yup, the dudes do have it easier this night because there is no way we want
to compare them to Mariah. His problem is the key seems wrong, just a tad
too low, so he can’t punch it up to the level this song could be. He tried
to do it at the end, but it’s either too flat or too sharp (I always had
problems figuring that out). Sorry David, Daughtry would have done this
right. I guess it sounded better in the studio because Simon, Paula, and
Randy loved it. I found him droning.
Jason Castro
– Sings – "I Don’t Wanna Cry" by, who would have guessed, Mariah
Carey.
– Good enough, especially for the last song so everyone will remember him, but
as nice as it sounded I found him boring as hell. It must sound better in
the studio than on TV because even Simon like him.
Let’s wrap this up…
I’m
past the singing part because all of us know these folks can sing otherwise how
in the hell did they get here, and thankfully Kristy Lee Cook seems to have
gotten over her "not being able to sing" stage and is starting to dress hotter,
but the bad part about this year is none of them are transforming themselves
into performers. The other crappy part is that they don’t need a singing
mentor, like Mariah Carey, pimping her new album, nope, these boys and girls
actually need someone who can teach them to the next level, of how to touch the
audience, and as much as I’ve been pimping Bruce Springsteen showing up on
"American Idol," I’m thinking Neil Diamond, who has a new album coming out that
he can promote, might not be that bad a choice, either. Skip the "Here’s
how to sing" crap, let’s get to "Here’s how to perform."
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
What’s New? A Podcast of: Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Golf, Movies, Religion and More!
Stu Gotz had some questions about religion for this podcast episode of “Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-up!”, part of it related to priests, and part of it developed because of the news of Pope Benedict coming to the United States. Maybe Stu should forget about religion and just worry about the best way to raise the little Gotz’s. The Dude on the Right gives his two cents about religion, wonders about the dislike of “Scooby Doo,” but for The Dude, well, his weekend was filled with watching golf and a buttload of movies. Such is another weekend for Stu & The Dude.
Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Golf, Movies, Religion and More!
By:
The Dude on the Right
Here comes the Pope, here comes the Pope! Actually here comes
another podcast of "Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up!," but I thought I
would welcome Pope Benedict to these United States, and for whatever reason, Stu
Gotz found it necessary to bring up religion for this podcast. He also
brings up the fact that Grandma Gotz and Mama Gotz, and for that fact himself,
are sometimes on different wavelengths in raising the little Gotz’s, and it
oddly enough relates to
"Scooby
Doo" and
"SpongeBob SquarePants" (Did you know he lives in a pineapple under the sea,
and Stu, I hate to toss you to the wolves, or at least Mama Gotz, but did you
realize the absorbent and yellow and porous one is rated TV-Y7?) which all came
to a head this Sunday with the little Gotz’s singing a song and being afraid of
monsters.
Not having kids I didn’t have the difficulties Stu encountered over
the weekend, mostly because I was watching Tiger Woods not be able to sink a put
to save his life and lose The Masters, am still backed up on my watching "Battlestar
Galactica" because my TiVo decided it wanted to watch Skinemax instead, but we
both talk about a lot of movies, namely
"Prom Night,"
"Smart People" (which, the more I think about it, I over-rated it for my
written review),
"Enchanted," and
"The Kingdom." We also talk a bit about TV, and my recommendation for
watching the finale of
"The Biggest
Loser: Couples,"
At least we don’t talk about politics.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
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But on What Occasion Would I Wear a “MILF Island” T-Shirt?
By:
The Dude on the Right
So I’m watching the TV show
"30 Rock," as I am
wont to do because I enjoy it, and the episode dealt partly with the "finale" of
"MILF Island," with "20 super-hot moms, 50 kids, and no rules," and the first
part of me, as a fan of
"Survivor,"
knew that if there was actually a TV show called "MILF Island," I’m sure I would
be watching. The second part of me knows, now that NBC has screwed it up
and probably copyrighted the concept somehow, FOX won’t be able to actually make
it a series, nor will CBS, who did their own exploitation of children with "Kid
Nation" and all they would have to do would be add some super-hot moms.
In
any case the episode of "30 Rock" made me laugh, but then quickly reminded me
that I am old. Why? They advertised that you could actually buy a "MILF
Island" t-shirt, I found that very funny, and I even thought of jumping online
to order one. Then I quickly caught myself saying "Self, you’re not in
college anymore, even though you may think you are. Where in the hell do
you think you could actually pull off wearing a ‘MILF Island’ t-shirt?"
And in listening to myself I realized there isn’t any place in the entire
Universe where I could pull off wearing that t-shirt, although it would be sort
of funny to try, especially if I could be a fly on the wall, listening to the
comments wearing it had brought about.
I might still buy it anyway
since I need a new t-shirt to wear while I’m exercising at home, and I know that
every time I would look in the mirror while wearing it, well, it will make me laugh, but could
I wear it in public? Maybe I should just buy one for
Stu
Gotz. I’m sure he would wear it, out in public, and be able to make the
ladies laugh. He has that way.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
What’s New? A Podcast of: Artie Lange, Tiger Woods, and Paula Abdul. How About That Mix?
Lucky for The Dude on the Right he was listening to the West Coast Feed of The Howard Stern Show, so he was able to hear the entire Artie Lange meltdown, resigns, quits episode during the show, especially since it appears Howard might have put the nix on the replays of the show during the rest of the day. With no new information on the fate of Artie Lange, during his Thursday podcast, The Dude talks about it, doesn’t relate his theories on what is going on well, but there will probably never be another day when “Artie Lange” and “Stern Fan Network” are #1 and #2 on Google Trends. Tiger Woods and The Masters were dropped in rankings, thanks to Artie, and from The Dude’s observation, Kristy Lee Cook did not have a nip-slip during last Tuesday’s “American Idol.” Neither did Paula Abdul, but the podcast does have a new edition of “Paula Abdul Clips of the Week.”