Category: Television Shows

By:

The Dude on the Right
As the day started out I only had one idea for a blog today, and that was to say
that I might shop at Sears again.  This was in follow-up to
a
blog I wrote a few weeks ago, even though I never fully explained my Mom’s
issue with Sears.  But the other day my Mom e-mailed me that it seems the
letter she wrote to the CEO person at Sears expressing her disappointment with
her purchase had a result.  And I was going to share that with you, until,
today, I realized I still want to be a Jennifer Lopez stalker.

And not the
Jennifer Lopez you might think, the one who gets made fun of for having a big
booty.

I’m talking about a different Jennifer Lopez, and it came about like
this…

I was doing some computer consulting south of Chicago today, and in
the forecast was the chance for some severe weather in the Chi-Town area. 
In about the middle of the afternoon I checked the local radar on my cell phone
and coming near the dude-pad was a rain-cell with some yellow and orange. 
At this point I knew the storms were starting to fire up, but didn’t really
think nothing of it.  At least until I was heading back home.

Suddenly my
cell phone started playing the "Looney Tunes" theme so I knew it was someone I
knew, and then I saw it was a text message.  I recognized the call-sign,
and it was "The Weather Channel"
letting me know that there was a tornado warning in the city I live in. 
Yup, that’s right, a tornado warning.  "Fuck," I thought to myself. 
And then my cell phone started ringing again, and even though the phone number
was strange I answered it, and it was a pre-recorded message from

Jim Cantore from "The Weather Channel, also telling me there was a tornado
warning where I lived.

It was a couple of years ago that I subscribed to "The
Weather Channel’s"

"Notify!" service, and even though I had heard Jim Cantore call me before
(because I had set my alert levels to broad), this time it was doing exactly
what I subscribed it to do, because the only thing I really worry about, where I
live, are tornados, because I can pay enough attention to the weather to know if
thunderstorms are coming, if snowstorms are coming, but tornadoes don’t give you
a lot of warning and my messages from "The Weather Channel" beat my local radio
news channels by about 5 minutes, which I wouldn’t have even tuned into (I’m a
Sirius satellite radio fan) unless I had gotten that initial text message.

So
I’m still driving home, and find out that the tornado warnings are north of the
dude-pad, and I say warnings because I also got a couple of other messages on my
phone on my way home that the tornado warnings were expanding around me. 
But I get home, and this is really where my

Jennifer Lopez stalking rekindled.

At times I am a Weather Channel junkie. 
I can watch it for hours, although I’m not as addicted to the colorful graphics
as my sister, she still goes through withdrawals when she doesn’t get enough. 
Part of my watching, though, is for the weather dudettes, and a while back
Jennifer Lopez was my girl.  She was cute, has a great smile, even got
pregnant, but I was her fan.  Then I slowly got off of my Weather Channel
addiction, except only for the major weather, and in the case of a hurricane,

Stephanie Abrams was the new girl for me.  Blowing out there in the
wind, hoping shit wasn’t going to hit her in the head, she also had a great
smile, a bubbly personality, and I was her weather fan.

Until today.

When I
get home, wondering if a tornado is going to come blowing away the dude-pad, I
quickly tuned to The Weather Channel and there was

Jennifer Lopez, looking as smoking-hot as ever on my TV, with a different
hairdo than I remembered, and she got me through the danger of wondering if the
life around me would be destroyed by a tornado (actually, I was able to read the
radar and knew I was pretty much safe, but it was still fantastic to see her).

I don’t know if the weather caused any tragedies right now in the Chicagoland
area, and I know a lot of it was bad, but a big part of me was glad the
pre-recorded Jim Cantore called me, warning of deadly weather nearby, but now
that I’m back being a stalker of Jennifer Lopez, I wonder if the "Weather
Channel" "Notify!"
service could tailor who calls you when the weather blows.  I know I would
prefer hearing Jennifer Lopez blowing me bad news, rather than Jim Cantore.

But on a serious note, if you are in an area where immediate bad weather can
come and destroy your life, like a tornado, and you don’t always make yourself
aware, subscribe to a service like "Notify!",
buy one of those weather radios at Radio Shack (it helped me when I was a
manager of a "Shack" once), or anything.  As much as I would prefer
Jennifer Lopez calling me rather than Jim Cantore, and even though the tornado
warnings were north of my dude-pad, I felt better getting the warnings, minutes
before I was notified in other ways, and if things were bad, those minutes might
have saved my life, or at least given me ample time to get my camera.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
I was afraid that I missed the money-making opportunity of the season.  No,
not the stock market.  No, not internet porn.  I’m talking about the
new "Tickle
Me Elmo T.M.X."  But that’s not nearly as important for this podcast as
my first week of new TV viewing is going swimmingly.  I did develop one
dilemma with this week’s viewing and that is if

I should try to be a loser.  I know one person who isn’t a loser, but
you’ll have to listen to find out who that is.

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
From one of my MySpace
friends I received a suggestion, and even though a little narcissistic, I felt
it necessary to oblige.  So "Thank you" my MySpace friend, I think I
actually doubled your suggestion.  Being cool aside, there’s a little
rambling about the lack of movies I want to see, but for the most part this
podcast deals with how happy I am that "Survivor"
has returned to the airwaves.  The biggest lesson we’ve learned so far in
this "social" experiment by separating the tribes by race is that while the
other tribes seem to want to show everyone that they are a force to be reckoned
with, well, the white tribe just seems to be worried about snuggling to keep
warm and maybe hooking up.  God I love reality TV!

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
With my new TiVo, and now that I have, hopefully, most of the TV recording
options I should need, I have to now readjust how I actually watch TV to make it
more efficient, as well as get shit done.  I realized these things
yesterday during the premier of "Dancing With the Stars" and the almost finale
of "Rockstar: Supernova," especially when my main computer’s UPS decided to take
a crap and I tried to figure our how to get my PC up and running again (you
never have enough three-prong extension cords when you need them), yet still
watching TV shows, when I could have put off the latter, especially since I HAVE
MY NEW TIVO.  I’m such an idiot sometimes.  The important thing I
forgot is the ease, if you are watching a recorded show, to skip the commercials
(sorry advertisers).  As such I was finding myself still switching between
shows during the commercials, then getting wrapped up into one show, then
another, and missing stuff.  I make my life so complicated sometimes, and
I’m working on getting my new TV viewing schedules straight, but now I’ve
complicated my head even a little more, thanks, to of all things, a movie called
"Artie
Lange’s Beer League," starring, well,
Artie Lange,  a
movie I was looking forward to seeing, hopefully in the theater.

How can a movie create a dilemma and make my life complicated?  It’s
because I’m mental I tell you.  Here’s the deal.  "Beer League" is a
smaller budget movie, opening this coming weekend in only three cities – New
York, Philadelphia, and Cleveland.  Sure, you might say "What the hell kind
of limited release is that?  I get New York City, but Philadelphia and
Cleveland?"  The movie studio, and I guess Artie and his people, figured
that these are markets that strongly support Artie Lange and could give the
movie a strong opening, especially in terms of dollars per screening.  So,
"Beer League" doesn’t open at a Chicago movie house, at least right now, which
would take me, tops, and hour-ish to get to.  In any case, if I want to see
the movie this weekend I either have to hop on a plane to Philly and hope our
character artist, Archie Tect, could pick me up at the airport and get me to the
movie on time, or drive some 360 miles to see the movie scheduled to play at a
movie theater some 15 minutes from my parents’ house.  Here-in lies my
dilemma (and Mom, if you are reading this, I apologize to you right now).

For
a couple of minutes I thought of making this Saturday a day trip to Ohio, to, of
all things, see "Beer League."  Fine, I’m crazy like that.  As it
shows right now, there is a 2:30 afternoon showing that would work into the
planning.  I would leave early on Saturday morning, getting into the area
around 1PM, giving me a cushion if the Ohio drivers still haven’t learned how to
drive on a three-lane highway.  I could catch the movie, it would end
around 4PM.  Two choices:  Stopping in to see the parents before the
movie if traffic is light, maybe catching some lunch before the movie; 
Stopping in to see the parents after the movie and then heading back to my
dude-pad after maybe catching an early dinner.  Sounds simple enough, and I
know my parents would like to see me, and maybe not so much my Dad, but Mom
would think I was nuts, for driving 6 hours to see a movie, spend more time with
Artie Lange on a screen than with her at home, and then heading back to my
dude-pad back in Illinois the same day.  Mothers don’t always understand
wacky behavior, and she really doesn’t like me driving at night.

Thankfully for me, and maybe
sadly for my Mom, I think, at least right now, that rationality has set in,
thanks to seeing one of those MasterCard commercials.  It sort of turned
into this for a one-day trip to Ohio to see "Artie Lange’s Beer League.":

   
Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois Tollway/Turnpike fees:   $17.80
    Fuel for 720 miles on the road:                             
$95.00
    Food:                                                                   
$15.00
    Movie ticket:                                                        
$  7.00
                                                                                
——-
    Cost to see Beer League:                                    
$134.80

    Price to hear my Mom say I spent $135
    to see Artie Lange instead of her:       
Not worth: $135.00

Sorry Artie, I guess I have to hope your film does well
enough in New York, Philly, and the home of the Michael Stanley Band, so that it
opens a little wider, or I’ll at least get the DVD, because I can’t justify
$135.00 to see your movie, especially when it will incur the guilt of Mom. 
Being of Catholic upbringing, I think you understand.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
First, because you may not read this, nor my review in time (it should be posted
tomorrow), if you are a fan of "Office
Space" and the over-the-top satirization of life that Mike Judge seems to be
able to portray, see, or at this point probably wait to rent/buy "Idiocracy." 
Simply put it’s a movie set 500 years from now, when, in simplest terms,
white-trash and a sports drink have taken over.  Anyway…

If you
listened to my podcast yesterday, and you know me, you know that right now I am
obsessed with the dilemma of getting a new TiVo in preparation for my fall
television viewing.  Too many shows I like, too little time, and too many
times they are up against one-another.  Last year was tricky, and I was
able to pull off most of TV viewing, except for missing way too many episodes of
"Smallville."  My best solution, at times, was to watch one show on my TV,
have my TiVo recording another show, and then, in the age of antiquities, have a
VCR recording the third show.  This was okay in the days of old, but not
with today’s technology.  The show I was watching live wasn’t being
recorded, so I couldn’t rewind or pause if I wanted to, and if there was some
great audio for a podcast, or a dress that malfunctioned, I wouldn’t be able to
watch or listen to it over and over again.  At least I had one program
recording on the TiVo for easy watching, and although an antique method of
recording, the VCR was still working, although not as smooth on the skimming
through commercials.  I am being faced with another television season of
pain and frustration, especially if I was going to be gone for an evening and I
had three shows to record, since I only had two recording devices.

And then
came my kids needing some new supplies for the upcoming school year.

My kids,
Steve, Ashley, New1, New2, and New3 (the newbies still need some names, but I’m
thinking right now one will be named Bam, the other either Spidey or Paul, and
New3, well, it’s either ‘drew or Don.  I’m sorry, I digress), well, they
needed some new supplies, namely some food, some testing kits, and some
filtering.  Yup, my fish needed some stuff, and I headed to my local
PetSmart to get it.  Sadly, but maybe it was fate, the PetSmart didn’t have
the essential thing I was looking for, so I headed to my local PETCO, and PETCO
had it all.  But a couple of stores down from PETCO was a CompUSA, and I
saw on their windows was a notice that they were closing, and everything in the
store was 20% to 40% off.  My kid’s supplies safely stowed in the
dude-mobile, I figured what the hell, let’s hit the computer store to see if
there was anything I couldn’t live without.  First I headed for the iPod
accessory area and decided I really didn’t need anything for my iPod.  Next
stop was if there was any chance they had last year’s Power Mac G5 at some
obscenely low price (no luck).  I scanned through the software but nothing
struck my fancy, and CompUSA never had the greatest variety of Hi-Def TV’s, so
nothing there caught my eye.  But then I said to myself "Self, CompUSA
normally sells TiVo’s.  I wonder if they have any of those new, dual-tuner
TiVo’s here?"

Low and behold, at an endcap, there was a stack of them, on
sale, and I started to do the computations in my head.  After the rebate
offer that was still in force, the net cost for the TiVo would be a little over
fifty bucks.  Then I also knew that since I was a TiVo subscriber, and I
was adding a new TiVo and not replacing one, I would get a discount on the
monthly service fee (I do miss the "Lifetime" upfront fee because mine has
already paid for itself on my first TiVo), but in any case, my television
viewing/recording dilemma for this fall season is over.  I now have three
TiVo recording sources, and in a worst case can add the antique VCR to the mix
and watch a fifth show live without recording it.  My fear now:  Six
shows to watch at one time.  You can never have too many recording options,
although, wait a minute, I think my latest computer purchase had a TV tuner card
installed?  Scratch that, my fear now:  Seven shows to watch at one
time.  Too much TV, too little time.

Since this blog is already too long,
I’ll leave my bitching about the American Family Association and CBS’ problems
with airing their "9/11" documentary for a blog or podcast on Sunday if I can
put one together tomorrow.  Right now I’ve got to get my new TiVo set up!

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Pluto is gone.  At least as a planet.  And it is sad.  And I
started writing a parody song for Pluto, but then I got wrapped into the dilemma
of actually singing the song, and the potential ridicule I would get from folks
I know for my singing ability, let alone my lyrics, and now I don’t know if I
want to go there.  Do I sing it?  Don’t I sing it?  You’ll just
have to wait and listen.

Now as much as my singing is a ridicule issue, I do have ten whole friends at
my MySpace
Page, and that doesn’t even matter right now because the show "Survivor"
has found probably the best publicity machine they could find – the racial
machine.  The new season starts with four teams of five folks, divided by
race.  And all of the politicians looking for some quick TV time are using
the "Survivor" "experiment" to get themselves on TV, without, of course, seeing
how it is all put together.  I’ve always been a fan of "Survivor," and will
be there for this one, or any one, as long as they keep making them.

And then again, should I sing, or not?

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
I know blogs are usually supposed to be short, so I apologize now, because I
think this one will be a long one.  Here we go…

For those of you
oblivious to how the government continues to take control of our lives by
dictating itself as the deciding body on what you can see, hear, and how you
might want to have fun, in the past two days there have been a few stories that
probably didn’t make your headlines, maybe didn’t even make your newspaper, and
if they did, were buried so far that you didn’t even realize it was happening. 
Pretty soon, it might be too late.  These stories have to do with a group
we should be afraid of, namely the FCC (and Congress too), another group that
just seems to bring menial matters up when it will help them at election-time,
them being Congress, but at least one group of folks are going to re-air
something on TV that got pulled in controversy, namely Comedy Central.

First
the FCC (and Congress).

A little while back Congress passed, and The President
signed into law, that the FCC now has the ability to fine broadcasters something
like $325,000 if they, meaning a handful of appointed folks at the FCC, decide a
complaint about something aired on local TV or on the radio is indecent. 
That’s the simplest of ways to put the fine increase.  But today I found a
headline on the internet that troubled me, especially after reading the
subsequent story:  "FCC
combing air tapes for dirty words."  Pretty much, as the story goes,
the FCC has requested from a bunch of broadcasters tapes from mostly sports’
broadcasts where someone, whether it be a fan, superstar, or anyone, seemed to
have uttered a "dirty" word.  The question I have is "Why?"  One of
the quotes from the story stated that "I don’t know how they are going to rule,
but they asked us for tapes with a specific emphasis on crowd noise," said
another TV executive, who also requested anonymity. "If some bozo in the crowd
calls the ref an asshole, the commission is asking for a copy of the tape." 
If the FCC decides that said bozo in the crowd yelling "you’re a lazy shit-head"
is indecent, and since a TV station aired it (as well as maybe the covering
radio station), that the TV and radio station should be fined, well, $325,000
(or more), if you thought your TV was getting more tame all of the time, think
again.  You might be able to still watch live events on TV, but don’t count
on any audio.  Most people don’t seem to notice and just seem to want to
let our government be the babysitter for their kids, but for Christ’s sake, you
seem to have no idea where this path is leading.  Five people have the
decision to decide if the word "shit" is indecent, and they decided it is. 
No one seems to want to notice, and there doesn’t seem to be many Congress folks
with enough balls to say something like "I’m not for indecency, but I this is
bullshit."

Next up, Congress and Gambling.

For this story the House of
Representatives has passed legislation pretty much

eliminating online gambling in the United States, unless, of course, you
want to still play the lottery or bet on the horses.  The story isn’t done,
yet, because it still has to pass the Senate, but this is a bad sign.  For
those of you putting money down in poker games online, trying your hand at
blackjack, or maybe you just think that Ebert & Roper will give a movie "Two
Thumbs Up!", well, your Congress is working to say "Screw you, you can’t blow
your money on someone we can’t tax, but if you want to throw it all away on the
lottery or better yet, the horses, go right ahead!"  How are they doing it? 
Well, they are trying to make it illegal for United States banking folks to
transfer money to offshore gambling sites.  I’m sure there are ways around
this, but really, it’s a hassle you don’t need, but you also don’t seem to be
fighting for your right to gamble.  The Senate hasn’t taken up this debate
yet, but if they do, this is where, you gambling folks, better get off your
collective asses and write your Senators.  The problem with the United
States on this, and I think this is what really pisses them off, is that they
didn’t figure out a way at the beginning to make this legal in the U.S., and how
to make the bucks off of this.  What to do now?  Make it really
illegal until they can figure out how to make a buck.  In any case, by now,
most of the online gamblers have figured that the big name internet gambling
sites out there in the world aren’t out there to steal their money, because that
doesn’t let them be there for the long haul.  The big names work to be
legitimate because, well, the gamblers keep coming back.  Sometimes someone
will win big, but gambling has always been in favor of the house, so that is why
there are there.  If anyone is really pissed off at Congress it has got to
be the casinos in Vegas because they could easily set up online gaming sites for
all of the United States, make them totally legit, and even give the government
their cut.  But the United States missed that boat, and a lot of these
off-shore companies are making billions of bucks without having to give a cut
back to US, I mean the U.S.  But Congress doesn’t want you to gamble,
unless someone in the United States is making money, and thus, the United States
is making money, so online gamblers beware, it might get a hell of a lot more
difficult for you to put you bet on the next "American Idol" or think you can
actually win a Texas Hold-em Poker Match with a bunch of people you can’t even
see.

And Finally, Comedy Central.

There was a controversy a little while
back when Comedy Central pulled an episode of "South Park" called "Trapped in a
Closet," around the time when "Mission Impossible: III" came out."  Many
news reports stated that it was pulled at the request of Tom Cruise, who gets
made fun of in the episode, him and Scientology, but the Comedy Central folks
gave their own reasons for pulling the episode.  But, as weird things go,
the "Trapped in a Closet" was nominated for an Emmy award.  How can you not
put an episode back on the air when it has been nominated for an Emmy Award? 
Well, Comedy Central has decided to re-air the episode, so set your episode for
July 19th, check your local listings for times, but this is one, really, funny
episode.  At least someone in the TV entertainment side seemed to have
gotten their balls back.

I guess for this blog my words of warnings are these: 
Pay attention to the restrictions our Government continues to place on us. 
Five people are deciding what is indecent, a bunch of people looking to get
re-elected think an easy way to get votes is to eliminate gambling on the
internet, (and don’t get me started on gay marriage, abortion, how this
manipulates your elections) and if you think this doesn’t effect you, or things
you like in your life, you are wrong.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

For this podcast, The Dude on the Right gives his thoughts on the “American Idol” finale and his take on the difference between Taylor Hicks and Katharine McPhee. He also wonders if college kids were playing the “Soul Patrol” game.

By:

The Dude on the Right
Hey everybody!  "American Idol" finale’d last night, and as everyone in the
world with a computer probably already had a clue before the show, well, Taylor
Hicks won.  For this podcast I give my take on the Taylor vs. Katharine
McPhee thing, why Katharine should have worn the dress she wore on Wednesday
night during her Tuesday night finale (it might have gotten her a few more
votes), and I hope college kids everywhere were playing the "Soul Patrol" game
while watching on Tuesday, although I’d be surprised if they made it to any
classes on Wednesday if they did.  I also wonder if "So You Think You Can
Dance?" can fill some of my TV void, but as I’m typing this, and watching the
show, it’s still too soon to tell. No, wait, umm, I just caught a glimpse of this Juliya Tamarkina wiggling her butt, and a fine butt it is, as well as every other things and stuff on her body, dancing with her partner whom she needs to dump for an older, plumpier partner who wears a paper bag over his head. You know what? This show does have potential except the judges seem to suck. Hopefully the judges will get better and there will be more Juliya’s. 

Oh well, thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Normally I would do a podcast tomorrow evening before "American Idol" giving you
my thoughts on the Tuesday night performances and my Paula Abdul clips of the
night, but since the two hour finale starts at 7PM here in the Chicagoland area,
I know I won’t be able to get it posted in time and oh so want to endure about
an hour and 45 minutes of uselessness to see who wins.  So I figured I
would blog my recap of tonight’s performance, and give my podcast rehash on
Thursday night.  So, without further ado, my thoughts on Katharine McPhee’s
and Taylor Hick’s performance, who should win, and don’t be surprised if they
win.

ROUND 1
Katharine:  Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
Katharine did pretty well with this the first time around, and this time was
just okay.  She looked great in the tight jeans and shirt showing her
belly, but she kept singing to the two percussion dudes on stage rather than the
audience.

Taylor:  Living for the City
He’s being the Taylor he has become to be, working through the crowd,
wearing a funky suit jacket, and still looking like he’s going to take a dump on
stage as he stretches for a note or two, but I think that’s why we love him.

Winner of Round 1:  Taylor

ROUND 2
Katharine:  Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Again solid song for her, but she does not work the stage, nor the audience,
well.  There she was, just sort of sitting on the stage, and doing, at
first, a fantastic version, totally into the feeling of the song.  I felt
so good for her, she needed the perfect version, and I really wanted her to get
up somewhere near the middle of the song, work the front of the stage, and
finish it on the platform behind the judges belting it out for the audience, but
then two things happened that lost it for me:  First, she just stayed
there, kinda crumpled on the floor of the stage, and second, she lost the
feeling of the song and started "mugging" for the camera every time it came near
her.  What I mean by mugging is she shifted from serious mode to the
"grinning ear to ear" thing that has been bugging me about her all season. 
Sad song, depressing song, it doesn’t seem to matter for her, once that boom
camera comes near her face, she shifts from serious and sad looking to "I’m
going to smile now because the camera is coming in for a close-up."

Taylor: 
Levon
I will admit I am a little biased because this is one of my favorite Elton
John songs of all time, and Taylor does his own great way of knocking it out of
the ballpark.  The thing with Taylor is when he’s not being goofy Taylor,
he does show that he has a fun voice, but this isn’t really the song that
showcased this, that one was a few weeks ago.  He still works the stage
better than Katharine and exudes a confidence she just doesn’t seem to have.

Winner of Round 2:  Katharine (but barely because of the
mugging.)

ROUND 3
Katharine:  My Destiny
Singing what will be her first single, I am going to sound so incredibly
mean right now, and I do apologize to all of the Katharine fans, and to
Katharine herself, but here goes…

First off, and my mom has been saying it
all along, but whoever has been picking her dresses is doing a horrible job. 
Like most men, I would have lied to her because I knew I wouldn’t get any at the
end of the night by being truthful, but that dress made her look fat.  Oh,
and this is going to sound worse than mean, but she looked like she was shoved
in a sausage casing.  Something just fitted her totally wrong with that
dress.  Randy said she looked amazing, but on TV, or at least my TV, that
dress was horrible.

Next, this was a typical song for a "pop" idol, starting
the singer off in a lower key and building them up to a higher register where
they can take the song out of the ballpark, but she just seemed too nervous to
pull that off and hit a blooper, pop-fly for an easy catch by the shortstop. 
The other problem for her, and maybe she knew this, is that maybe Katharine knew
people are tired of these kinds of songs from the finalists, and she also knew
Taylor had the stronger song.

Lastly, from the show, and maybe I’m wrong, but
it looked like Simon really wanted to just lay into her on every aspect about
the performance, but knew this was the finale and if he came out blasting the
song, her performance, and her look, that every aspect of marketing her would be
blown off the map.  I’m sorry for being so harsh on her, but I’ll try to
explain more at the end of this way-to-long blog.

Taylor:  Do I Make
You Proud
Sadly for the "American Idol" folks, this song has come out about a month
too late.  Why?  Because high school graduation ceremonies around the
country in every small town would somehow try to fit this song into the
proceedings.  But Taylor doesn’t have to worry about the graduates because
I think he still has the wedding song market for the next six months if the
bride-to-be is a Taylor fan.

Taylor didn’t have to worry about an outfit,
because, well, Taylor doesn’t need to to look unbelievable, he just needs to
look like Taylor, so his normal suit was fine.  What Taylor had going for
him, that Katharine really didn’t, is a perfect song for him.  It wasn’t
the greatest song, but so much better than Katharine’s that it didn’t matter,
and Taylor sang it with the confidence that even if the lyrics were something
like "Do I make you proud, because I was caught sleeping with a hooker that I
picked up on the corner," he still would have pulled it off for his "Idol" fans
who wouldn’t have cared.

He knocked the song out of the ballpark for his
"American Idol" fans.  And even Simon knew it.

Winner
of Round 3:  Taylor

Based on Tonight, Who
Should Win This Fight:  Taylor Hicks

Don’t Be Surprised if This One Wins:  Katharine McPhee

The Dude on the Right’s Final Analysis
Here’s a little how I see this, so let’s go…

With our two
finalists, the marketing/public relations folks are really trying to scramble,
and maybe just me, but I think Simon knows this.  Taylor is a great guy,
with a great voice, and I am a fan, but where, on any radio dial, can you market
him?  Somehow lots of the public loves him, and the single they have him
recording has potential, but after the show is over, are you going to be
clamoring out there to get any single/CD he puts out, let alone be the reason
you go see him in concert?  Maybe I’m wrong, and I read this somewhere
else, but he is the kind of dude who could, with his act, pull off a larger
bar/club atmosphere where he sang a mixture of covers and originals, but his
sound fits absolutely nowhere on the radio landscape, and that’s a marketing
nightmare.  His voice doesn’t lend itself to adult contemporary, let alone
a teen audience, and there are few rock stations that would play anything he
puts out, probably mostly out of spite.

Katharine, though, almost has entire
package, just not the presence of Taylor.  She’s got looks, she does need a
better wardrobe (and shorter hair to show off her boobs for me), but if she were
to lose a little of the Celine Dion-ish posing, she could fill a huge void,
sliding into a bizarre nitch between the world of Kelly Clarkson and Celine Dion. 
Here’s how I would have loved to see her performances go:  During "Black
Horse and the Cherry Tree" work the audience with an attitude.  No big
grinning, just go out there, slap hands, work the stage, and keep an attitude
like "I’m a bad-ass, hear me roar!"  Then, during "Somewhere Over the
Rainbow," fine, start it crouched down on the stage, but get up, sing to the
crowd, all of the crowd, but don’t get caught in the glamorous moment – You’re
trying to find your way home, to a happy place, there’s no place for smiling ear
to ear during this song.  Lastly, you’ve got a lousy last song and you
probably know it.  So what, go out there and just kick whatever ass you can
find.

I feel bad about bashing on Katharine, because I think she has huge star
potential, but somewhere, somehow, I think her biggest problem is that she was
never taught to get into the feeling of a song.  All she knows is to sing
the song, she doesn’t know how to, and this is going to sound pretty cheesy, but
be one with the song.  That, I think, is her largest stumbling block to
getting herself to the next level.

I suppose I should wrap up this way-to-long
blog by just admitting that you never really know what the fans out there in TV
land are going to do in regards to voting for the "American Idol," yet I still
love the show.  It will be interesting to see how the voting goes, but for
me, I think Taylor will win, but Katharine has more potential for stardom.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!