Category: whatsnew

Are you watching All-Star Celebrity Apprentice?

Fine, I’ll admit it, I’m a fan of “Celebrity Apprentice,” and fine again, I plan on watching the “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice.” As I’m typing this plight the show premiers tonight, with The Donald back with an All-Star, well, at least celebrities who have already been on the show cast, including the likes of Gary Busey, Penn Jillette, Lil Jon, Dennis “Kim Jong Un is my Friend” Rodman, and the “celebrity” who won’t go away, Omarosa. I’m not really sure why I like the show, in fact I probably get more enjoyment from the normal “Apprentice” version, but why would Donald Trump want to go back to helping the average go-getter get further in their career when he can more easily let celebrity folks make fun of themselves. The only problem I generally have with “All-Star” editions of these reality shows is that the second, or third, or forth time around, the folks that return know a little bit more about playing to the camera and over-playing the character they developed originally (This is really becoming prominent in this season’s “Survivor: Caramoan Fans vs Favorites” with Phillip and Brandon overblowing their characters to the point of cartoonish, but that’s a topic for another plight), and sometimes it just becomes boring. For me, though, it’s generally a fun way to end the weekend, with some mindless entertainment to put me to sleep on the way to another normal work week.

And so I plight: Are you watching All-Star Celebrity Apprentice?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you wash your own car?

In keeping with the current theme of cars for these Daily Plights, I have a neighbor who is always washing his cars. Not as much lately as we are in the grips of winter, but once the weather breaks a bit there he is, car in front of the garage, with the hose doing its work and him with a bucket of sudsy water. Part of me is a little jealous as my laziness and prioritizing of other things have taken me away from my desire to wash my car, but I remember younger days, first parking mom and/or dad’s in the driveway to give their car a thorough bathing, and then parking the car under the tree in the front yard for a good wax job where I would undoubtedly put on too much wax and then curse up a storm under my breath as I was trying to get the wax off.

As I’ve gotten older my personal car washing duties have stalled, especially as my living situations changed and it wasn’t as easy to pull out the hose and wash the dirt off the dude-mobile, that and the fact that it seems every gas station now has a quick car wash, and so I can’t really recall the last time I pulled out the bucket and dish soap. Sure, it’s a weird thinking about this in the winter time, but maybe it’s because my car could really use a decent car wash after being coated in road salt, and I’m also wondering when it will be warm enough for my neighbor to cleanse his vehicles, but as much as I miss the joy of washing my own car sometimes, I plight: Do you wash your own car?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you think of The Brady Bunch TV show when backing up your car?

It occurred to me the other day, when I was backing out of a parking space at the local grocery store, that just about every time I begin to back up I have a quick remembrance of an episode of The Brady Bunch. I guess the episode is called “The Fender Benders” and was originally from 1972, but I probably saw it a few years later in reruns. In the episode Carol is in a parking lot and has a little fender bender with another car. The guy in the other car fakes an injury and takes the Brady’s to court where we learn an important life lesson, that’s it’s important to tell the truth. Like many a Brady Bunch episode things aren’t going that well for America’s family, but just when things seem like a total loss, and Carol would be found guilty, Mike comes to the rescue by dropping a briefcase on the floor causing the “injured” man to turn his head, exposing the liar for what he was.

I guess we all have little triggers of things that cause I to remember parts of our childhood, and for me that can range from a song, to a Brady Bunch episode, to the proverbial “Schoolhouse Rock” short, but for this plight, think about it the next time you are backing out of a parking space and plight with me: Do you think of The Brady Bunch TV show when backing up your car?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Is it wrong to drive a Ferrari with a Honda license plate holder?

The other day I’m driving along and a few cars in front of me there’s a Ferrari. You don’t always see them around these parts as much as a Ford or Chrysler, but occasionally they pop up, and me, well, I will do my best to see if I can see who is driving it. I mean it’s got to be someone famous or rich, right? I don’t go crazy trying to catch up to the Ferrari, after all I’m driving one of those said “Fords,” and I have a pretty good feeling the Ferrari would leave me in the dust if I were to challenge it, however, as traffic would have it, I found myself behind the sports car, a lovely, red machine, and although I couldn’t see inside the driver’s side, yet, the next thing I figured I’d check is if the person had a personalized license plate. Nope, just a standard Illinois plate number, but then it caught my eye, the license plate holder.  A quick Google search shows that there are plenty of holders for the fancy car, most that just say “Ferrari” on them (Like we couldn’t figure out what kind of car it was?), and some with the Ferrari logo. And sure, there is the cute one that says “My Ferrari is in the shop!”, but as I was now mesmerized with the license plate holder on this car I couldn’t help but wonder in what world it was correct to be driving a Ferrari with a Honda license plate holder on the back, and I also wondered how the owner would let that happen. I suppose maybe he bought it from a Honda dealership, or maybe it was the owner of the Honda dealership, but in any case I just thought it was wrong.

Me, I’ve got a nice license plate holder promoting my website, a gift from my wife if I do happily say so, and many people will have car dealer plate holders from their dealer, but in the end, for this, fancy “look at me” car, I’ve got to plight: Is it wrong to drive a Ferrari with a Honda license plate holder?

Exit Wounds

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:57 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Exit Wounds
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Steven Seagal, DMX, Tom Arnold, Anthony Anderson
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2001
Kiddie Movie: Leave them at home.
Date Movie: You might want to leave her at home, too.
Gratuitous Sex: Naked ladies in a bar.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s Steven Seagal doing what he does best. Expect a lot.
Action: See “Violence.”
Laughs: Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson are hilarious.
Memorable Scene: The ending with Henry (Tom Arnold) and T.K. (Anthony Anderson) trading quips on the talk show.
Memorable Quote: Too many during the Henry/T.K. talk show.
Directed By: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Leaving “Exit Wounds” I was happy of one thing – Steven Seagal was back to playing Steven Seagal, kicking ass and taking names. That’s all I wanted to see.

The story, well, do you really care about the story? Alright, I’ll give you the brief run-down. Seagal plays Orin Boyd. He’s a cop with a temper problem and gets relocated to the worse side of town. Along with his reassignment, well, Orin is made to go to anger-management courses where he runs into talk show host Henry (played hysterically by Tom Arnold). As the story goes Orin is doing some investigating and comes across Latrell (DMX). Orin thinks Latrell is bad news and is hell-bent on finding the real story. Kicking ass here, investigating there, and Latrell being a pretty good bad-ass, well, that’s about all you need to know because the story is kinda silly when you think about it.

So I will keep this review short because who really needs to analyze a Steven Seagal movie. “Exit Wounds” gives you what you want, even some really cool gadgetry, and the laughs provided by Tom Arnold and Latrell’s sidekick, T.K., played by Anthony Anderson are more than enough to get you to see a matinee or at least wait till the video hits the store.

As a great movie, “Exit Wounds” probably only warrants one star, but as a Steven Seagal film, it’s
3 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

ExistenZ

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

ExistenZ
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jude Law
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Dimension Home Video
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Oh no, I don’t think so.
Date Movie: She might get scared and snuggle a little closer, or she might just go “Huh? This movie sucks.”
Gratuitous Sex: Almost, but not quite.
Gratuitous Violence: Yea, some pretty good violence, especially with the organic gun.
Action: Some.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: Most of the movie had me thinkin’.
Memorable Quote: None that stand out.
Directed By: David Cronenberg

“eXistenZ” is one of those movies that you probably didn’t see in the theater and might pass up on the video shelf saying “I haven’t heard of that one. Let’s find “The Matrix.” It didn’t have the hype and is not the high-packed, action-filled, blast your senses movie like “The Matrix,” but if you like the psychological twistedness of “The Matrix” I urge you to rent “eXistenZ.” It’s kinda like “The Matrix” without all of the gunfire.

“eXistenZ” is a virtual reality game, but taking it to the next level. In this world, or one of the worlds, you plug this living game pod into a computer-like port in your spine. This puts you in a sort of trance in which you, in conjunction with the other players who are hooked up to the pod, become an actual part of the game, almost like a dream with multiple players controlling the outcome. We are introduced to the game designer, or is she(?), Allegra Geller (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who is on the run from game manufacturers set on seeing that eXistenZ doesn’t make it to market. Her protection is supplied by Ted Pikul (Jude Law), about the only dude on the planet who doesn’t have a game port and who really isn’t a security guard. But, Allegra needs to see if her game is damaged so she plugs up Ted and they enter the game, where reality and imagination meld into one, and get lost in it.

This movie is so multi-layered that going into it more might just ruin it more for you, but I’ll just say that it’s got gross-you-out scenes, it’s got some quality violence, it’s got some steamy moments, and you’ll wonder throughout the movie just what scene is reality and what is part of the game.

Like “The Matrix,” I came to the end of “eXistenZ” saying something like “Whoa, that was fucked up,” and I was pleased. But if or when the future of computer games comes to the point of something like eXistenZ I’m scared. It’s just too fucked up.

4 ½ stars out of 5. This movie was most excellent. Rent it.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

Evan Almighty

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:36 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Evan Almighty
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Steve Carell, Lauren Graham, Morgan Freeman, Wanda Sykes, John Goodman
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Universal Studios
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: It’s better for them.
Date Movie: Only if she’s sort of religious.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Nope.
Action: The flood I guess.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: Nothings stands out.
Memorable Quote: Something like: “I feel like that Indian in front of the garbage.”
Directed By: Tom Shadyac

I know there will be people who will like “Evan Almighty.” It has a nice story, like “Bruce Almighty” it does some preaching about believing in God’s plan for us all, and the movie folks made it PG instead of PG-13, which for me, sadly, means no jokes about growing boobs or sex, but for you, well, you can safely bring your kids. The problem I really had with the movie, though, is along with no boob or sex jokes, well, there really weren’t many jokes at all.

Let’s get to the story…

Evan Baxter (Steve Carrell), the same anchorman dude from “Bruce Almighty,” has decided to further his career by running for political office, and winning, on the platform of changing the world. He packs up his wife and kids and move to a new housing development in Washington D.C., and even though he says he will spend more time with the family, we all know that won’t be the case. He quickly is being bamboozled by Congressman Long (John Goodman) to support a controversial environmental destruction bill, mostly because Evan is still just enamored with actually being a Congressman.

Enter God.

Yup, Morgan Freeman is back in his role as God, and his plan this time isn’t to give Evan his powers, nope, God wants Evan to build an ark, just like Noah in the bible. Suddenly animals are following him, his hair is growing long, and he can’t wear normal clothes anymore, just a robe. With the help of a building an ark for dummies book, Evan, with only tools that might have been around during biblical times, embarks on his ark building. The kids are enjoying time with dad, Congressman Long has him booted from Congress, and mom, Joan (Lauren Graham), is freaked by Evan’s new passion, hair, and clothing.

But God, of course, has a reason for Evan to build this ark, and the family becomes closer than ever, thanks to God who ends up having to explain to Joan why she should stand by her man.

On paper “Evan Almighty” probably looked to have promise, but for me, on the screen, there just wasn’t much there. Now I’m usually able to suspend reality for a while during a movie, but there were too many times when I really wanted to screen talk, or rather screen yell, like when Joan was questioning Evan about his beard, with Evan telling her when he shaves it just grows right back, and of course she doesn’t believe him – I so much wanted to stand up and yell “Just take her to the bathroom and shave your beard you idiot!!!” Then there was the obvious reason why God had Evan build the ark in the first place, given away subtly at the beginning of the movie, and then not so subtly on the big day. I also thought it would have been funnier if God didn’t transform Evan into a Noah look-a-like, but rather had Steve Carell building an ark.

I laughed once, right at the beginning of the film, when Evan, at the TV news station on his last day, turns to the camera and says something like “I feel like that Indian in front of the garbage” (a joke no one else seemed to get in the theater), but most of the time I just groaned in my seat with scenes like a stray dog taking a dump in Evan’s new yard, the overuse of bird pooping on Congressman Long, the movie marquise of “The 40 Year Old Virgin Mary,” and the “Spider-Man” quote of “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Look, the movie isn’t horrible, and like I said some of you will probably like it, especially if you are looking for something with a nice, swell, religious overtone to it, and is also safe enough so you can take your kids to it and tell them “See, God always has a plan for us.” For me, though, the premise of getting God’s powers and learning from it (“Bruce Almighty”) had lots of potential and worked on the funny scale; the premise of building an ark and turning into Noah, not so much. It’s 1 star out of 5 from me for “Evan Almighty,” although for some of you it is probably a 4 star film.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eurotrip

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eurotrip
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Scott Mechlowicz, Michelle Trachtenberg, Travis Wester, Jacob Pitts, Matt Damon, Kristin Kreuk
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Dreamworks SKG
Release Date: 2004
Kiddie Movie: Don’t even think about bringing them to this one.
Date Movie: Enough nudity for dudes and dudettes.
Gratuitous Sex: Yup.
Gratuitous Violence: Yes, but it’s in slow-motion, robotic style. And funny as hell.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: I laughed my ass off!
Memorable Scene: The fight with the robotic street performer and the little kid prancing around the living room like Hitler had me busting a gut.
Memorable Quote: Too many to quote.
Directed By: Jeff Schaffer

I guess I’m a sad young lad in a state of mid-pubescent anxiety. At least that’s according to another reviewer who said “Eurotrip” will appeal to that kind of audience. Me, I thought I was just easily amused, but in any case, “Eurotrip” has quickly landed in my all-time comedy list. Here we go…

“Eurotrip” gives us a relatively unknown cast of characters making their way through Europe trying to find Mieke (Jessica Boers), the computer pen-pal of Scott (Scott Mechlowicz). I suppose I should set this up a little better. It’s graduation day and Scott gets dumped by his girlfriend, Fiona (Kristin Kreuk). That’s not bad enough, now they’re at the proverbial drunken high school graduation party and Donny (Matt Damon, yes, that’s Matt Damon), the lead singer of the punk band, lets everyone know that Scott doesn’t know about his boffing Fiona via the new hit song “Scotty Doesn’t Know.” And that’s still not bad enough. With a nice hangover, Scott’s little brother is going through Scott’s e-mail and nicely informs him that his pen-pal isn’t Mike, as Scott thought, but Mieke, the hot dudette in the picture Scott has from her. The problem is that while Scott was thinking Mike was a dude, he got an e-mail from her saying they should hook up, that she would even come to America to do so. Freaked out, Scott rifled back an e-mail saying he didn’t want to talk to him ever again. So Mieke, freaking out, blocks Scott’s e-mail address, and now that Scott knows Mike is really a hot chick, well, he can’t get a hold of her to apologize. What is a crazed teenager, thinking Mieke might be the girl for him, to do? Well, he sets off with his buddy Cooper (Jacob Pitts) to find Mieke in Berlin, starting in London (it was a cheap flight) only to get sidetracked by a bunch of soccer hooligans.

As our heroes find themselves now in Paris, they hook up with their brother and sister friends, Jamie and Jenny (Travis Wester and Michelle Trachtenbert respectively), and now the four of them begin there hilarious trip through Europe on their way to Berlin, finally ending up in Rome where the Pope is a bit surprised to find that he is dead. Trust me; you’ll understand that last statement when you see the film.

Anyway, that’s really about all you need to know about the plot. This movie is about sometimes crude, sometimes politically incorrect, and pretty much non-stop humor, maybe more for the dudes, but there’s also things in this one for the dudettes as well. The thing is, you’ve got to be one of those types that likes this type of comedy, you know, where you can find the humor in a youngster giving himself a Hitler mustache and high-kicking around the living room, or be able to laugh at people having sex in a church confessional. If you are one of those easily offended type, stay away, but for the rest of you who appreciated a movie like “Old School,” I urge you to find “Eurotrip” on your next movie excursion.

For me “Eurotrip” was a 5 star comedy out of 5, but those of you who regularly read my reviews know that I am easily amused. I can take a comedy like “Eurotrip” for what it is, not a masterpiece, but a bunch of fun. If you’re like that, you’ll probably like the movie, but if not, you’ll think it’s a total piece of garbage. You know who you are, make the decision to see it on your own.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Erin Brockovich

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:11 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Erin Brockovich
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Julia Roberts, Albert Finney
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Lots of swearing and an way adult story.
Date Movie: She’ll make you take her and you’ll like reluctantly go on the outside but be excited to see Julia Roberts in skimpy clothes on the inside.
Gratuitous Sex: Julia keeps the clothes on.
Gratuitous Violence: Erin’s car getting broadsided.
Action: Nothing action.
Laughs: Lots of them – Julia is very sassy!
Memorable Scene: See “Violence.”
Memorable Quote: Too many to write.
Directed By: Steven Soderbergh

Well, I’m back in love with Julia Roberts. Not that I was ever really out of love with her, but after seeing “Erin Brockovich” I remember what I really liked about Julia Roberts – her smile. Alright, there are many other things about her that aren’t bad, but for me, she just has a killer smile.

Alright, enough about my infatuation with Julia Roberts, what about the movie. “Erin Brockovich” was great. I could be really lazy and just end the review there, but I guess I’ll explain some more.

Julia Roberts plays Erin. She’s a single mother, struggling to make ends meet, when she gets in a car accident. She hooks up with Ed (Albert Finney), the head of a small law firm, who takes her accident case, but Erin’s mouth kind of messes up the case. So, Erin’s still out of work, and decides that since Ed’s law firm couldn’t get her a settlement, she would just start working there, and she does. Dressed in short skirts and low tops, most of her co-workers don’t like her (I failed to see the problem), and she stumbles upon some realty files that contain health information and she puts the connection together – the man is screwing over the little people and the little people are dying. But Erin isn’t a lawyer, she’s a mom, and her drive for justice isn’t based on money but by seeing the big, bad company disgraced by the actions they pulled on the local town folk. So, she convinces Ed to take the cases, and she slowly shows him that it isn’t always the money that is important.

Now, kind of like “A Civil Action,” “Erin Brockovich” shows some of the problems that arise when a small firm tackles on a corporation and their team of lawyers, but unlike “A Civil Action,” this story proved just a little more sad and had a little bit of humor thrown in. Why? Because Erin was a sassy, loving, caring, tell it off the cuff, sexy, stepped on, and just lovable person. You feel bad when she gets screwed over, you feel vindicated when she wins, and you can’t help but like her. It was the perfect role for Julia Roberts and Julia Roberts played it perfectly.

The story is serious, Erin is just fun to watch, and up until the end you sometimes loath the lawyer Ed but realize he is just a lovable, big lug. “Erin Brockovich” proved entertaining, combining a touching story about big business trying to screw over the little people, and also showing that just being a nice person can get people to trust you. I liked the movie, think it is one of Julia Roberts’ best performances, and give “Erin Brockovich” 4 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Epic Movie

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:26 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Epic Movie
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jennifer Coolidge, Jayma Mays, Faune A. Chambers, Crispin Glover, Darrell Hammond, Carmen Electra, Fred Willard
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: Lots of “shits” and killing the “White Bitch.”
Date Movie: Only if she’s 16 and easily amused.
Gratuitous Sex: Carmen Electra was hot as Mystique.
Gratuitous Violence: There’s some fighting. They are trying to kill the “White Bitch.”
Action: Nah.
Laughs: A few.
Memorable Scene: Nothing in particular.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

As I was sitting, waiting for “Epic Movie” to start, I saw what I’m assuming was a mom with four girls that looked to be about the age of ten. By the end of the film I wondered if she second-guessed her choice of bringing those girls to a movie where the main goal of the movie was to kill the “White Bitch.” And yes, that was the name of the character, not her nickname.

Alright, I won’t give too much of a synopsis for “Epic Movie” because pretty much it follows along the “Scary Movie” franchise of spoofing other films, but sadly, it doesn’t do it very well. The main course of this movie is “The Chronicles of Narnia,” where for “Epic Movie” we get the quartet of Kal Penn (poking fun at himself in his Kumar days) as Edward, Adam Campbell as Peter, Jayma Mays as Lucy, and Faune A. Chambers as Susan, set in the land of Gnarnia (the “G” is silent), where they have to kill the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), a.k.a. Stifler’s Mom, which Edward quickly points out when he first sees her. Our quartet of kids (even though they are in their late 20’s or 30) start as orphans who each find a golden ticket, ala “Willy Wonka,” where a demented Willy (Crispin Glover) torments the kids. Of course the kids find the wardrobe, make their way to Gnarnia, and find out their true destiny.

Oh hell, that’s enough of the synopsis because sadly the movie isn’t creative, at all, in spoofing the movies it tries to. Case in point: For whatever reason, Susan is on a plane that gets infested by snakes, and the fake Samuel L. Jackson keeps spouting the “get the snakes off the plane” line, throws Susan off the plane, where Susan proceeds to break her fall by landing on the fake “Paris Hilton.” Rather than trying to truly intertwine the movies it was spoofing into some sort of cohesive story, “Epic Movie” just seems to take a scene, and haphazardly make fun of it. And maybe the movie folks were trying to be funny by not even trying to cover-up the fact that Fred Willard, as Aslo, wasn’t really doing the fighting, but I guess I missed the joke.

There were a couple of funny things in the movie, but none to really warrant any kind of recommendation to see it other than maybe running across it on cable. And parents, there is something you have to remember about a PG-13 movie: You may only be able to say the “F” word one time, but killing the “White Bitch” and saying “shit” can happen pretty much all the filmmakers want. And, oh yea, sexual innuendo (in this case pretty bad sexual innuendo), can be pretty rampant, too. It’s 1 star out of 5 for “Epic Movie.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!