By:
The Dude on the Right
First let me give a quick disclaimer. This blog does not relate to all old
people, even though the end of the blog groups them all into one category.
For instance, I’m instantly taking my mom and dad out of the suggestion at the
end of this blog because, well, they’re my mom and dad. And then there are
many of the nice, older folks that I have run into that don’t deserve the end
fate. But of anyone deserving of the recommendation of the song I list at
the end of this blog, it is the following old person.
I found myself yesterday
morning at our local Secretary of State’s Office, about fifteenth in line, just
as the office opened, to get a license plate renewal taken care of. It’s a
simple procedure, but I wanted to get it done early in the day. There were
another half a dozen people behind me in line, all of us patiently waiting our
turn, and I was feeling good about life because I probably saved the life of a
wayward toad earlier in the morning.
Suddenly this older lady, I would put her
maybe early to mid sixties, seemingly fully able-bodied, starts excusing herself
through the line, her license renewal slip in her hand. She excuses
herself past me, and I think to myself "Self, maybe her daughter or son got in
line early to save her a place in line. I’ll let her slide." And she
kept moving forward, and moving forward, and moving forward, until she found
herself at the front of the line, the next to be served. She then turned,
looked back at the rest of us in line, and said, in a squeaky, condescending
voice, "I’m a senior citizen." Then turned back around.
I know there is
no way to sound politically correct about this, and I don’t give a damn, but
this woman, and I don’t care how old she was, had absolutely no right to cut in
line because she was "a senior citizen." In my book I’ll give you cuts if
your aren’t able-bodied, but she had no trouble walking, no problem standing in
the cashier line, no problem with attitude, and just came off as a bitch,
thinking she now deserves the world because she is qualifies for an AARP card.
The dude behind me, upon the hearing the "senior citizen" comment sort of gave a
"Huh?," and I turned to him and said "And I’m 39. Does that mean I can cut
in line, too?" We both chuckled at the audacity of the woman, but in my
head, she gave a whole lot of old people a bad name.
And then it hit me, a
song I had heard on the
Jonathon
Brandmeier radio show years ago.
It was a song about old people. It
was a song by No Time. And the song is simply called "Eat
All the Old People." It’s a lovely song about what to do with the
elderly people starting to take over the nation.
Now, like I said, I suppose
all old people don’t deserve the fate of the song, but that older lady just
reminded me that at any age, some people think they deserve better than you.
In thinking about it I should have excused myself to the front of the line,
excused myself in front of her, turned around, and said "I’m thirty nine."
Then again, she looked like she could have kicked my ass.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!