By:
The Dude on the Right
If you have been a regular reader of my blog, you might remember that about 2
1/2 months ago I got a haircut that had gone wrong. I finished
that blog with…
As much as "Piercing Girl" is nice on the eyes, I’m
thinking it might be nice to talk with Vita again, who’s also nice on the eyes,
and give her my family update, and see how hers is doing as well. With getting
a haircut from Vita I’ve got to plan a little bit better in getting said haircut
in a little bit better fashion, but I know what I’ll get – A decent haircut and
comfortable conversation, and isn’t that what we are always looking for? But
then again I might just be to lazy and pray I get Piercing Girl the next time
around.
Sometimes I’m such an idiot. Happy Haircutting! …
It had finally come time for another haircut, which had I actually planned
properly I would have made an appointment a couple of weeks ago, and I would
have given Vita a call and been able to schedule a decent haircut with
comfortable conversation. But no, I am, sometimes, such an idiot, so with
the haircut necessity pressing, I now had a different set of dilemmas. My
first dilemma: Go back to the same haircut chain place, pray "I’ve Got
Better Tools Girl" isn’t there, and I get "Piercing Girl" again. My other
dilemma was that I would get "Perfect Haircut Girl," she would comment about how
bad my last haircut was, and I would have to rat out "I’ve Got Better Tools
Girl." Dilemmas continue: What if "I’ve Got Better Tools Girl" is
also there, and I get either "Perfect Haircut Girl" or "Piercing Girl," and they
asked me who butchered my hair the last time? Do I rat out "I’ve Got
Better Tools Girl" right in front of her? And if I did, how would that
make the person feel currently sitting in "I’ve Got Better Tools Girl"’s chair?
So you know what I did? I went to the same haircut chain, but at a
different location, because it was also on my way home, and now I’m just left
with one question – Is "Getting Easily Lost Dude" gay?
I walk in the door and the there are two, cute, dudette hair stylists, working
on a couple of high school girl’s hair, and a dude cutting a little dude’s hair.
I have to wait a bit, but it is pretty obvious I’m going to get the dude to cut
my hair, and I start to wonder, especially since I had to sit in a chair that
had signage blocking the dudettes and I could only see the dude, if he was gay.
I say this because he seemed to have many mannerisms which gay men seem to have,
and the "clip-clopping" flip-flops didn’t seem to help. But then I also
thought, especially after my last haircut, and seeing the nice job he did on the
little dude in the chair, that gay or straight, all this dude seems to want to
do is give a decent haircut. And thanks to "Queer Eye For the Straight
Guy," maybe a gay dude cutting your hair does pay a little more attention to
making your hair look good rather than some of the old "barbers" who used to cut
my hair when I was a youngin’, and seemed to think that no matter what age you
were, a "bowl cut" was always in style.
So I get in the haircut chair, and for whatever reason, I still wonder if he is
gay or not, and then I notice a wedding ring. Now I’m wondering about the
woman who would marry a dude, with him wanting to be a haircut dude, working for
a national chain which I’m sure probably doesn’t pay that much, and standing by
her man. Then he mentions what he has a house, and is pissed off about the
heat wave we have recently had in the Chicagoland area because he has constantly
been having to run his air-conditioning. His small talk also mentions his
getting lost with some friends coming back from a wedding in the town I live in,
hence the "Getting Easily Lost Dude" moniker I have given him, because, and
knowing where he said he was at the time, it’s not that easy to get lost.
All the while he seems to be doing a decent job on cutting my hair.
Gay or straight, the "Getting Easily Lost Dude" gave me an okay haircut, seemed
to have fixed some of the disasters I have been dealing with since "I’ve Got
Better Tools Girl" cut my hair, but still messed up on cleaning up my sideburns.
I will say it again, "How fucking hard is it to use that clipper thing and keep
the sideburns, or in my case, my lack of them, straight!"
I should pledge that for my next haircut I will call Vita with an early enough
warning so I can get my expected "decent haircut with comfortable conversation."
She would probably love my stories about getting my hairs cut at these couple of
chain places, and the dilemmas I have faced. But then again, "Getting
Easily Lost Dude" didn’t do that bad of a job. Now I have three haircut
dilemmas: Call Vita early enough to get a decent haircut with comfortable
conversation. Go back to the previous national chain location and hope I
get "Piercing Girl" with her nice assets. And finally, go back to the
recent national chain and hope I get "Getting Easily Lost Dude" because he did
seem to do a decent job on my hair.
I make my life so complicated sometimes. And this this time it is about
getting a haircut. I am such an idiot.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!