By:
The Dude on the Right
A while ago, at an office I do consulting for, I simply made the statement to
the secretary dudette, Blondie, and my accountant buddy, Fruitcake, he of the
firm Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe, that "farts are funny." I had
Howard Stern on my
radio, he had one of his farter dudes on, and I was cracking up. They
inquired as to what I was laughing at, and I simply blurted out "Because farts
are funny." So I turned the radio up a bit so they could here, and sure
enough, they both found it funny, although the secretary dudette said she also
found it kinda gross, but laughed none-the-less. So, today, Stern once
again showed that something as simple as a fart can be very funny, especially
when added with a little text on your radio screen.
For those of you who don’t
know, and maybe you don’t care, but I do, Howard Stern is leaving the normal
FM airwaves
to go to Sirius Satellite Radio
next year. I’ve been a fan of Howard for quite awhile now, and not just
for some laughs because of farts, but because he is one of the best at
interviewing people and somehow getting them to spill stuff no one can get out
of them. In any case, the other day the satellite radio folks updated the
channels on the radio in my dude-mobile, and low and behold, there were Howard’s
channels, 100 and 101, but sadly, with nothing but dead air. No promos, no
static, just nothing. Listening to Howard after that, all he lamented
about was that it was driving him crazy that there was nothing on the channels.
Then, by certain genius, a listener told Howard he should just have farts going
on. Then the wheels of the other genius, namely Howard, started rolling,
and even as the other folks on the show,
Fred, Artie, and Robin,
started suggesting things like fart competitions and wind chimes, Howard stuck
to the simple – just have his farter folks, well, just fart (or queef as I
believe it was during the midday shift, which, sadly, I missed). The only
added bonus, some updating text on the Sirius radio display commenting on the
farts. In my land of being easily amused, and with the utter belief that
farts are funny, it was some of the most funniest low-tech/high-tech radio I
have heard in a long time.
Yes, there I was, off this morning to an
appointment, cruising in the dude-mobile, flipping between listening to Howard
and listening to a dude fart. Sorry Howard, I probably spent more time
listening to Junior
the Farter rather than you, but in all honesty, I was mesmerized.
Silence, then a blast. Suddenly the screen on my radio would change giving
Junior a 3.5 for that fart. More silence, then a super-long blast, and
then my radio would tell me that Junior’s last far was 17 seconds. And it
just continued, and I couldn’t stop listening, and I couldn’t stop laughing.
This isn’t rocket science, which I could help you with since I do have an
Aerospace Engineering degree,
but I will go to my grave saying that "Farts are funny." Today, Howard
just helped me prove that I’m right, especially later in the day, when I was
heading back to the dude-pad, heard Will the Farter, and still just couldn’t
help but laugh, and whoever was typing in the text going into my radio display,
you’re pretty funny too.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!