By:
The Dude on the Right
In that last week I heard a friend of mine got engaged and another one died.
So much for proper communication.
First the death that didn’t happen.
The
e-mail subject simply read "Bob died." I know a few Bob’s, but only one
came to mind from the person who sent this e-mail to me and my buddy Stu Gotz.
I met Stu before I got a chance to read the e-mail myself, he mentioned the
e-mail, and it was a bummer. We both knew Bob had his health problems, but
it was still sort of shock. The problem came because our buddy who sent
the e-mail, Fruitcake, didn’t add a last name in the subject line, only
forwarding along the e-mail he received, and Stu didn’t read the supplementary
parts of the e-mail, namely that which would have given the last name.
Nope, Stu assumed it was the Bob we were familiar with, but luckily we both
found out that this Bob was one we knew from ten year’s ago and not the Bob we
were thinking of, before we spread the word out, which would have gotten to the
Bob we know, who would have probably said "But I’m not dead."
And no, the DOTL
is not engaged. Either. We think.
What’s a good reason to go to
Las Vegas? Why a bachelor party, of course, and late last week Stu got a
text message from Wimp stating a quick trip was being planned to the land of
gambling and boobs for the bachelor party of the DOTL. Damn, we didn’t
even know the DOTL was engaged! Stu investigated, or rather contacted
Wimp, who said the DOTL was planning to elope with Trash at the end of March,
getting married during an already planned trip to Vegas, so he was working to
put together a quick bachelor party weekend for the DOTL and all of his friends.
Stu had lots of plans for the upcoming weekend already set up but quickly worked
to cancel them, mostly because Mama Gotz told him to get his ass to Vegas (trust
me, that does not happen often), and me, well, I did some quick investigating
realizing I couldn’t afford a trip to Sin City on short notice (damn airfare),
that, and I’m afraid of losing all of my money on a Blackjack table and, well,
fake boobs scare me (I suppose they would scare me less have I had the chance to
feel them, but sadly,
Vegas strippers only seem to let other women feel them, or at least Trash).
I even almost posted a "Congratulations DOTL & Trash" blog over the weekend, but
then feared what if Whammy read the post and didn’t know about the engagement?
Stu still seemed to be getting innuendos of upcoming nuptials, but something
didn’t seem right so I had to get Trash involved in this rumor, sending off a
quick e-mail, to which she squashed the story of the wedding plans, pretty much
throwing Wimp under the bus.
It seems Wimp, not knowing how to "justify" for
Mrs. Wimp a quick trip to Las Vegas for him and his friends, instead decided
using the DOTL getting engaged and needing a bachelor party was the way to go.
I’m not sure how he’ll explain things to her when the DOTL and Trash don’t
actually get married, but I’m thinking he’s also got that figured out, unless
Mrs. Wimp reads my blogs (which I’m pretty sure she doesn’t), in which case,
Wimp, I’m sorry.
Important plans almost got changed, maybe I could have
conquered my fears, felt fake boobs (if only allowed, of course), and lost all
of my money in the casino, but the next time, Wimp, you can tell Mrs. Wimp
anything you want, just fill us in on the "truth" so we don’t blow it for
others. That is, unless the DOTL and Trash are now lying and plan to get
married at the end of March. Or maybe it’s just the DOTL is lying, and was
hoping to get married at the end of March. Or maybe no one is getting
married, but we should all just plan a great trip to Vegas at the end of March.
At least, right now, Stu and I know the Bob we thought was, isn’t dead, and the
DOTL we thought was, isn’t engaged. Right now, all we do know, is Stupid
Wimp.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!