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Battlefield Earth
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker |
| MPAA Rated: |
PG-13 |
| Released By: |
Warner
Bros. |
| Kiddie Movie: |
They might like it, but I doubt it.
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| Date Movie: |
Only if you want to break up with them.
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| Gratuitous Sex: |
Nope. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
Lots of shooting of funky lasers, but it ends up
lame. |
| Action: |
Some chase scenes.
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| Laughs: |
The movie. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
None. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
None. |
| Directed By: |
Roger Christian
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| Produced By: |
Elia Smaha, Jonathan D. Krane, John Travolta
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Battlefield Earth
A Movie Review |
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This review will be short. Why? Because I don’t want
to waste your time the way the movie "Battlefield Earth"
wasted mine. I can usually find some good in a movie, maybe
a song, maybe some quality violence, maybe some nudity,
maybe a good line. But "Battlefield Earth" had none. Sure,
somebody out there might like it, but it sure as hell
wasn’t me.
Story wrap up: It’s 1000 years from now, the earth
has been taken over by aliens, some people are living like
American Indians (the resurrection of the tee-pee) on the
run, a dude goes to see the world, stumbles across a
miniature golf course and a mall (good to see they held up
so well), gets captured, and decides he can save the world.
Also, a bad dude alien is pissed because he got caught
sleeping with the bosses daughter so the boss won’t let
him come back to the home planet, so the bad dude decides to
use humans to steal some gold. He teaches our hero the alien
language, how to fly, and lets this human learn some world
history. Hero rounds up some other people, they all learn
how to fight, fly, and a bad cliché "Piece of cake"
which I found odd since I’m thinking cake has long
since become a memory. They save the world, but leave the
door open for the sequel. God I hope not.
The story isn’t that bad, maybe the book isn’t
that bad, but the movie is. You get two hours of bad
dialogue, pretty cheesy effects, screen swipes that can be
done better by 95% of movie students, lots of things that
make no sense in any real world, and camera shots that look
like the cameraman had one leg shorter than the other (just
about every shot/scene was tilted at an angle, I’m sure
for some dramatic effect, but it just gave me a stiff neck).
Don’t waste your money at the theater, don’t
wait for the video, don’t worry if you don’t have
HBO or Showtime when it comes to cable, and read a book when
it comes to regular TV. I wasted my time on this one so you
don’t have to. Zero stars out of 5.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the
Right!! L8R!!! |
