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The Cat in the Hat
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
Mike Myers,
Spencer Breslin, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Kelly Preston,
Sean Hayes |
| MPAA Rated: |
PG |
| Released By: |
Universal Pictures |
| Web Site: |
www.catinthehatmovie.com |
| Kiddie Movie: |
No. |
| Date Movie: |
No. |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
Lots of it
implied. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
Comic style. |
| Action: |
Nah. |
| Laughs: |
Nah. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
None. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
None. |
| Directed By: |
Bo Welch |
| Produced By: |
Brian Grazer |
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The Cat in the Hat
A Movie Review |
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I’m not usually appalled at a movie, in fact I am one
of the most easily amused moviegoers that there is, but the movie
version of "Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat" just appalled me. Why?
Because they took a cute and comical story and turned it into crap.
What’s going to upset me more will be if this movie actually makes
money. Why am I so upset? Well, maybe it’s Alec Baldwin (he plays a
slime-ball man intent on sleeping with the kids mom) exclaiming to the
dog "I can’t believe you whizzed on my taco!", or maybe it was The Cat
explaining to the kids when they almost take The Fish’s advice "Are
you gonna listen to him? He lives where he pees!", or maybe it was the
scene where The Cat works to make the couch a little more bouncy where
they show The Cat complete with butt-crack, or maybe it was The Cat
describing the S.L.O.W. (his wacky car) as the Super Luxurious
Omnidirectional Watchamajigger, and that it was previously called the
Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter, yes, the S.H.I.T., although
they at least stop Conrad (Spencer Breslin) from actually saying it,
or maybe it was the shameless plug for the Universal Studios ride. I
can usually laugh at anything, but sadly there wasn’t anything to
laugh at in this movie.The story pretty much has Mom (Kelly
Preston) as a realtor, who is hosting a party that night. Quinn
(Baldwin) keeps trying to convince Mom that Conrad should be in
military school every time he visits. Mom leaves the kids at home
while she’s at work, instructing them not to enter the living room.
The kids are babysat by Mrs. Kwan (Amy Hill). Well, it starts raining,
Mrs. Kwan falls asleep, and here comes The Cat (Mike Myers), pretty
much sounding and acting like Austin Powers. He begins a day of
mischief, the kids learn a lesson, and all is well. All is well except
the desecration of Dr. Seuss because although they sometimes have a
rhyme in the movie, for some reason I’m thinking that The Cat being
lactose intolerant was nowhere in Dr. Seuss’ original plan.
Alright, I’m done ranting. Based on the information above, if you
want to take your kids to this movie go right ahead because that’s the
kind of humor that’s in this movie. Oh yea, also be ready to explain
to your kids why it’s funny for The Cat to stare lovingly and call the
garden digging device a "dirty ho." It’s -1 star out of 5 for "The Cat
in the Hat." |
