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Glitter
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
Mariah Carey, Max Beesley, Da
Brat, Tia Texada, Valarie Pettiford |
| MPAA Rated: |
PG-13 |
| Released By: |
20th
Century Fox |
| Web Site: |
www.glittermovie.com |
| Kiddie Movie: |
Not for the boys, maybe the
younger girls/Mariah fans will like it. |
| Date Movie: |
Nope. |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
Mariah wears some skimpy clothing
and one scene behind distorted glass. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
Some. |
| Action: |
Nah. |
| Laughs: |
Not intentional. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
None. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
The video director says "I
want to see more of her breasts." Me, too! |
| Directed By: |
Vondie Curtis Hall |
| Produced By: |
Laurence Mark |
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Glitter
A Movie Review |
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There’s a scene in "Glitter" when this one
dude tells Billie (Mariah Carey) that she should be in movies.
Billie is flattered, gives the impression that she would like to be
an actress but doesn’t really have the talent, and all I thought
to myself was "Was it people telling Mariah that she should be
an actress or was it Mariah herself who put her in this film."
On a day when I could really use something for a few hours to let
my mind go blank, "Glitter" proved the vehicle because I
just sat there in awe, and not a good awe.
So, here’s the storyline: Billie is the daughter of a talented
singer. Mom is lost in a haze of alcohol and cigarettes. When mom
burns down the house one night, well, Billie is sent to the
orphanage where she ends up with two friends for life, Louise and
Roxanne, both well-played by Da Brat and Tia Texada. As we fade into
the eighties, Billie and her friends are dancing for a club and get
hired as back-up singers and dancers for a singer. This singer,
Silk, can’t sing, and in the studio her producer uses Mariah’s
voice on the single, kinda a Milli Vanilli thing. Billie and her
friends are happy to just be working, but Dice (Max Beesley) knows
it’s not Silk singing, Billie sings a little, and Dice sees
instant talent.
Alright, you guessed it, Dice and Billie fall together
romantically, Billie gets the big record contract, Dice gets
jealous, Billie leaves him, they still love each other, and you
would expect all would live happily ever after but, well, some don’t.
What’s wrong with this movie? On many levels nothing – it’s
a simple love story with the previous paragraph summing things up
nicely, but as a movie it just was one of those that was so bad it
makes you laugh because, sadly, it’s Mariah’s character that we
can never believe is real. The chemistry between Julian and Billie
never really comes together, and Mariah only seemed to have two
facial expressions – smiling with shear giddiness for the first ¾’s
of the movie when things are happy, or a frown for the last ¼ that
came off totally fake that you almost expected her to start smiling
again. Then there were the odd things, at least I thought, like her
having a cat when she moved into the orphanage but we don’t see
the cat again until she is leaving Billie, and the so over-the-top
publicist that, personally, I would have fired on the spot.
I think it would have been better for Mariah to ease into an
acting career, and that seemed to have started with her small role
in "The Bachelor." Maybe she got the acting bug with her
music videos, maybe someone kept feeding her the "You should be
a lead actress" line one too many times, but in any case
"Glitter" was just totally wrong for her.
So, I’ll quit bashing the movie and just say if you want
something that will make you forget the world around you for a
couple of hours go and see "Glitter." Dudes, if your girl
does drag you to this movie, and sure, this is just being sexist,
but Mariah does wear some skimpy outfits, has a nice bikini scene,
and she is beautiful, it’s too bad this isn’t the movie that
will show she can act.
Looking for something mindless – go see "Glitter."
Looking for a good movie – rent "Showgirls." It’s ½
star our of 5 for this one. God I hate giving a movie that rating.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!! |
