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Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
The voices of: Jim Carrey, Steve
Carell, Carol Burnett, Will Arnet, Isla Fisher |
| MPAA Rated: |
G |
| Released By: |
20th
Century Fox |
| Web Site: |
www.hortonmovie.com |
| Kiddie Movie: |
Even some of them
didn't seem to like it. |
| Date Movie: |
Only if she's the
mother of your children that you have to bring. |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
None. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
The jungle animals
try to cage Horton and destroy Who-ville in a vat of oil. |
| Action: |
Some chasing
through the jungle. |
| Laughs: |
I didn't really
find myself laughing much, although the Dad next to me
seemed to think the movie was a hoot! |
| Memorable
Scene: |
The social
commentary scene about censoring things for the sake of the
children. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
Nah. |
| Directed By: |
Jimmy Hayward, Steve Martino |
| Produced By: |
Bob Gordon, Bruce
Anderson |
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Dr. Seuss'
Horton Hears
a Who!
A Movie Review |
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I’ve got to assume that somewhere in that secret book new
parents are given there is the chapter "Taking Your Rude,
Seat-Kicking Runts to the Movie." In this chapter it details
how your kid will kick the seat of the person in front of
you while you constantly say "Don’t kick that man’s seat,"
knowing full well that your undisciplined child won’t listen
to you because you can’t give him a smack on the ass (this
is why I'm not a parent). In
this chapter is also a section detailing that at the end of
a movie, no matter how good or bad, you have to fake that
this movie was the greatest ever and say "Wasn’t that movie
great?", to which your brainless kid will, with shear and
utter joy in their voice, say "Yea. The elephant was
funny." And don't get me started on the chapter
titled "Don't Worry if You Laugh at Inane Things For the
Sake of Your Kids."
And thus was my experience at "Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a
Who!"
AnyWho (Get it? Any Who?), for this film adaptation of a
Dr. Seuss tale, we get an animated version of the story,
with the main voices being Jim Carrey as Horton and Steve
Carell as Mayor. Horton is just out enjoying life in the
jungle of Nool, implanting bad thoughts into the heads of
the children, but then he hears some yelling coming from a
little speck, dreams of a little community on the speck, and
then, when the Mayor of Who-ville talks back to Horton, we
have trouble because the mean and nasty Kangaroo (Carol
Burnett), who pouch-schools her child, will have no talk of
things you can’t see or hear.
Horton now has his troubles because he promised Mayor he
would protect their speck, while Mayor is having his own
troubles with nearly a hundred daughters, a son who
doesn’t seem to respect him, and a town about to destroyed.
Through it all we get preached to about social ills, mob
action, an evil dictator, and how we have to rope and cage
an elephant, as well as destroy the speck, to protect the
children.
Okay, first, I will take the blame for going to see
"Horton Hears a Who!" at a morning showing when I knew kids
would be there, but whatever happened to some disciple. I
suppose I might have to talk to Stu Gotz about that one.
Kids aside, the underlying question I have is, and it won’t
matter because this movie will probably do a billion dollars
at the box office (okay, over a hundred million eventually),
is why can’t the people in Hollywood make a decent Dr. Seuss
movie? I’ll tell you why, because none of the Dr. Seuss
stories are written to be made into an hour and a half
movie, therefore adding lots of useless filler parts to the
story, thus the reason why the original "Grinch" TV special
is the greatest. How can Hollywood make a good one? Maybe do
a triple feature, with each of them about 30 minutes long.
A lot of the kids seemed rambunctious at the showing I
was at, which usually means the movie wasn’t good enough to
keep their attention. There seemed to be a lot of story
parts going way over their heads, but the flashy colors
seemed to bring them back into the grand scheme of things.
Although I
seem to be one of the few critics that really didn’t like
the movie, the kids didn't seem to hate it so I’ll average it out a bit and leave "Dr. Seuss’
Horton Hears a Who!" with 2 stars out of 5.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!
L8R!!! |
