King Kong A Movie Review	MPAA Rated - PG-13 It's 3:07 Long A Review by The Dude on the Right

"King Kong" starts with the story of a filmmaker, Carl Denham (Jack Black). It’s the 1930’s and he’s having a little trouble getting the funding to finish his latest flick, especially when he wants to set sail to this uncharted island that is supposed to be spooky and scary and perfect for his film. The funding folks aren’t buying it, so Carl decides to steal some equipment, round up his crew, and set sail. There’s one other hitch, namely that his lead actress quit the day before, much to his surprise when his assistant, Preston (Colin Hanks) tells him so. By chance he finds Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), and convinces her to come along with him on his adventure.

After setting sail just soon enough not to get arrested, our cast is now cruising to, supposedly Singapore, until Carl convinces the Captain to set sail to a mythical place, and the Captain does. All of a sudden there it is, Skull Island, a place where some members of the boat crew had heard stories about, and then all of a sudden, Carl has his film folks taking a lifeboat to the island when the big boat gets stuck on a spooky rock. Sure enough, the island is creepy, there’s this giant wall for some reason, and the natives don’t like chocolate bars it seems. With the film crew being attacked by the natives, it’s up to the boat crew to save their collective asses, but then, as the big boat is finally free to boat away, Jack (Adrien Brody), the screenwriter/playwright, discovers Ann has been kidnapped, so it’s back to the island we go.

Next, of course, we finally get to see Kong, as Ann is sacrificed by the locals and Kong is off with his new prize. But Ann is different than the other girls Kong has had in his life, mostly, it seems, because she fights back a little, and is quite entertaining to the big ape in a later scene. Meanwhile, Carl and the boys are making their way through the jungle, finding dinosaurs and giant bugs, and somehow, most of them, surviving all of the running and mayhem. Also, meanwhile, Ann begins to realize that Kong actually cares for her when he saves her from a group of T-Rex’s that, for some bizarre reason, are more interesting in a bite-size snack dressed in white, rather than just taking the porterhouse steak in Kong.

So, yea, you guessed it, or know it happens anyway because the story isn’t new, but with his film footage gone, and visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads, Carl and the boys capture Kong, bring him back to New York City, put him on a stage, and piss him off. Yup, Kong is out to find his Ann in the big city, which doesn’t bode well for any blonde-haired girl in his path as he scoops them up, looks at their faces, realizes they aren’t Ann, and tosses them aside like rag-dolls (it’s pretty funny if you let it be). Then, of course, Kong finds Ann, or sort of more Ann finds Kong, they’re off to frolic in Central Park and enjoy the city, but wouldn’t you know it, the Army arrives and yes, it’s now time for Kong to make a calculated mistake and head to the top of the Empire State Building, not knowing that us humans now have these things called airplanes, equipped with guns.

Alright, story synopsis done. Why did I love this movie? Let me count the ways. 1) The film was over three hours long but didn’t seem like it, and paced nicely from their start in the city to their extended ocean voyage, when character development really takes shape, to the land of the lost world of Skull Island and Kong being King, and back to the big city where all Kong really wants to do is spend some quality time with his woman. B) The special effects were insanely amazing. New York in the 1930’s looked fantastic, exactly how I would figure it would look, in color, back then. Skull Island was a fun place to visit, though I wouldn’t want to live there. And Kong was freakin’ unbelievable. I mean unbelievable. Remember how you were amazed at Gollum from the "Lord of the Rings" thing? Multiply him by 100 to get Kong (the same dude, Andy Serkis, played both Gollum and Kong). Kong is big and mean, but also likes sunsets. He doesn’t like getting yelled at by pretty girls he has a crush on, causing him to pout like a little boy, but will still break the jaw of a T-Rex if said T-Rex tries to eat his woman. III) I wasn’t as annoyed at Jack Black as I thought I might be. 4) Odd as it might sound, but it is crucial to the movie, there was really a chemistry between Ann and Kong (not so much so between Ann and Jack, but that didn’t bug me at all). Mucho props to Naomi Watts and the computer animation folks for using a lot of "you can see the feelings being portrayed by just looking at their eyes" for both Ann and Kong. V) Some squashes, being sucked into an ugly bug, and quality kills, like when Kong rips the head off a dude. F) Naomi Watts. 7) Oh hell, Naomi Watts again.

The more I think about this movie, the more I loved it, although there were times I just couldn’t help comparing some scenes in it to those in "Titanic." The fact that they were on a tramp steamer, which, if memory serves me right, and I know if my memory indeed does serve me right this is a memory I should have forgotten, but Jack from "Titanic" had been on a tramp steamer a few times in his travels. Then there was the touching sunset scene with Kong and Ann. Then there were the dolphins in front of the boat as it was cruising along. Then there were the engine pistons going up and down and the dude shoveling coal into the boiler. Then there was the boat wreck. And finally, as Kong and Ann were at the top of The Empire State Building, with Kong ready to fall (this was the moment I almost got weepy, then this thought kicked in), I couldn’t help but hope and pray, for just some total comic relief, that Ann would tell Kong, after grabbing Kong’s giant hand, "I’ll never let go," then Kong would die, and just like Rose did to Jack, Ann would let go. I’m sick sometimes.

So wrapping up this long review to go with a long movie, it’s 5 stars out of 5 for "King Kong." Even with the kinda dorky moments, and my thoughts of "Titanic," just the marvel, Kong, and Naomi Watts transcend all of that and make it a 5 starrer from me.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!