Moulin Rouge A Movie Review	MPAA Rated - PG-13 It's 2:06 Long A Review by The Dude on the Right

The story is a little wacky. First off you’ve got Satine (Nicole Kidman). She’s what they call a courtesan, which in simpler terms she’s kind of a cross between an entertainer and a prostitute. She sings, she dances, and then she’s supposed to sleep with The Duke (Richard Roxburgh) to get financing so Zidler (Jim Broadbent), the leader of the Moulin Rouge stageshow folk, can put on the yet to be written musical called "Spectacular Spectacular." Enter Christian (Ewan McGregor). He’s a writer and a poet and gets wrapped up into the stageshow folk when they realize he has a keen pen for writing about truth, beauty, freedom, and most importantly for them, love. So, Satine is supposed to be meeting and jazzing The Duke when signals get crossed and Christian ends up in her bedroom. She’s expecting sex, Christian spouts lyrics to Elton John’s "Your Song," and they fall in love. The problem is that The Duke still thinks he’s gonna get some, Satine doesn’t want to give any, and while The Duke is about ready to dispose of Christian, well, with the help of Zigler and some of the stageshow folk, they put on a little song and dance routine outlining for The Duke what the musical will be even though it hasn’t been written yet. Zigler signs over Moulin Rouge as well as Satine to The Duke if he’ll front the money for the musical, while The Duke eagerly awaits opening night when Satine is supposed to finally sleep with him.

The rest of the movie deals mostly with Satine and Christian getting in on, developing a musical that parallels their ongoing romance, but there is a problem – The Duke is getting anxious, starts to think Satine is cheating on him, and eventually the shit hits the fan when The Duke finally figures out what is going on. What is a Duke to do except tell Zigler the money’s gonna be gone and Christian will die unless Satine dumps the dude, and what is Satine to do when she learns of Christian’s fate? Well, those things are pretty obvious, as is the almost end of movie, with the actual ending of the movie even more obvious although I won’t spoil it here.

Some words of warning, namely that "Moulin Rouge" is a musical, through and through. People sing what they want to say, they dance around, but the pace for this musical is actually pretty fast as they use quick cutaways and lots of motion to keep things moving along. And dudes, it’s a love story, through and through, so don’t expect a dude-payoff like the Germans coming through and blowing up Paris. It’s a movie that can easily be adapted for the stage, and what’s a little goofy, even though it works really well, is they use a lot of pop songs adapted as grand musical numbers. Christian starts speaking the lyrics of "Your Song" to Satine like they are poetry, eventually shifting into song, Zigler does the same, re-wording Madonna’s "Like A Virgin" to appropriately fit the context of his explaining to The Duke that the reason Satine won’t be hooking up with him is because she is cleansing herself so that for The Duke, well, she’ll be "Like a Virgin", all shiny and new. You also get some Beatles as well as a grandiose version of The Police’s "Roxanne" to name a few others. Sometimes it’s like a guessing game as most of the time they speak the lyrics before breaking into song, which left me working to guess the song before they hit the chorus, and sometimes it just seemed really hokey, especially the "love" medley as Christian tried to convince Satine that "I will always love you," "Love is all you need," and well, nearly every identifiable lyric with the word "love" in it. Yet as hokey as it was, it was good for a chuckle.

So, the manly-man in me wants to give "Moulin Rouge" 1 star only because Nicole Kidman wore a lot of skimpy outfits, but as someone who enjoys just about all music, can appreciate a good musical, and likes the remake of "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya, and Li’l Kim, well, I’ve got to give "Moulin Rouge" 4 ½ stars out of 5. God I’m such a puss sometimes.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!