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The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
The voices of:
Phil Vischer, Mike Nawrocki, Cam Clarke |
| MPAA Rated: |
G |
| Released By: |
Universal Studios |
| Web Site: |
www.veggiepirates.com |
| Kiddie Movie: |
It's all for them. |
| Date Movie: |
Only if they are
related to the children you are bringing. |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
I would like to
say the Princess was hot, but really, how hot can a leek be? |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
Cartoonish. |
| Action: |
Some running, or
rather I should say bouncing. |
| Laughs: |
For the kids. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
Nope. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
Nope. |
| Directed By: |
Mike Nawrocki |
| Produced By: |
David Pitts |
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The Pirates Who
Don't Do Anything:
A VeggieTales Movie
A Movie Review |
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In an attempt to keep my niece wholesome, and her coming
upon her 17th birthday, I decided to be a good
uncle. Instead of taking her and her family to R-rated
films, films like "Saw II," "Borat: Cultural Learnings of
America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," and
"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," as I have
done in the past, what better way to help her maintain her
innocence then to see a movie with animated
vegetables. So there we were, myself, my niece, and her
family, having a private viewing of "The Pirates Who Don’t
do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie."
The premise of the movie is pretty simple – we have three
vegetables in current time, Elliot (he’s a cucumber), George
(he’s a grape – fine, not a vegetable, but there aren’t too
many vegetables to make into characters and calling it a "veggiefruitytales"
movie would be too complicated, but I’m sorry, I digress),
and Sedgewick (he’s a gourd). They are stuck doing the
crappy work at a dinner-theater, kind of like Medieval Times
but with a pirate theme, and their shyness, laziness, and
fear keep them from becoming more than just food servers. In
the meantime, back in the 17th century, a crazy
vegetable is looking to take over the kingdom, he starts by
kidnapping the Prince, plots to kill the king, and needs to
also get the Princess (she’s a leek). But the Princess has
sent a "helpseeker," which dispenses a boat to our trio of
wannabe heroes, they hop in the boat, press a button, and
are transported back to the 17th century
to save the day.
Okay, I’m going to leave the story at that because really
it’s not that important, especially as you try to grasp
killer cheese curls. As someone who has never seen a
VeggieTales cartoon, it is weird seeing animated characters
swinging swords, climbing things, and manipulating things,
all with no arms or hands. The moral part of the story
(pretty much the King is supposed to be a figure for God I
suppose) didn’t
really bug me, the animation was great, but this movie is
really for the little ones, which pretty much means don’t
take your 17 year old niece to go and see it. For the
kiddies it’s probably a 3 ½ star kind of film, but for the
adults you really have to sink yourself into the depths of
children cartoon loving to enjoy this one. The only reason I
say that is because my sister, who can usually sink herself
to that depth, didn’t care for the film. I’ll drop it one
star for no entertainment for the adults, even for my
sister, leaving "The Pirates Who Don’t do Anything" with 2 ½
stars out of 5.
Take your kids but bring your iPod so you can listen to
something else while they marvel at the pretty colors and
are too young to know that a grape isn’t a vegetable.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!
L8R!!! |
