Running with Scissors A Movie Review	MPAA Rated - R It's 1:56 Long A Review by The Dude on the Right

"Running with Scissors" the movie is based on the book/memoirs of Augusten Burroughs. For the movie we are introduced to Augusten as a young mama’s boy, and quickly realize that mom Deirdre (Annette Bening) is a tad on the crazy side, believing that her poetry is the greatest in the world and hoping to be published and famous. We are also quickly introduced to dad, Norman (Alec Baldwin), a white collar working dude with a drinking problem. And so, with our quick introductions to the family, we are transported to Augusten at an older age, a young teen, with his parents in full-blown "can’t stand each other" mode. Hoping to save her marriage, or at least being able to complain to someone about her delusions, Deirdre and Norman go to psychiatry sessions with Dr. Finch (Brian Cox), and we quickly figure that things aren’t going to go well for pretty much everyone involved. Norman divorces Deirdre, Deirdre slips further and further into delusion, and Deirdre decides that the best thing for Augusten is for Dr. Finch to adopt him.

The problem: Dr. Finch and his family is even more wacky than Augusten’s own.

First there is daughter Hope (Gwyneth Paltrow), Dr. Finch’s favorite who believes she can translate the purring of her cat, Freud. The mom of the Finch clan is Agnes (Jill Clayburgh), who pretty much has lost most sense of being productive, instead choosing to sit on the couch, watch TV, and eat dog kibble. The other daughter, Natalie (Evan Rachel Wood) seems to be the most balanced of the Finch clan, and Augusten and her seem to rely on each other to get through life in the Finch household. And lastly we find Neil (Joseph Fiennes), who happens to be a pedophile and a patient of Dr. Finch. And so, if you thought your family was dysfunctional, The Finch household probably tops it ten fold.

Now you would think total hilarity would ensue, and from what I’ve read, in the book version of "Running with Scissors," it does, but as I sat there wishing I had gone to see "The Departed" instead, I wondered how a movie with so much potential for quirkiness, seriousness, and hilarity, could be so boring, but somehow the movie folks accomplished just that. From the trailers we already new some things would happen, like Augusten being adopted by Dr. Finch, but it took forever to get there. We also knew that Augusten and Natalie have a fun relationship (and not even in the fun way you might think), but for the most part they don’t seem to have much fun. And as cooky as Dr. Finch comes across, his cookiness is overshadowed by it taking too long for just about every scene to develop.

And so, with all of the potential, I spent about and hour and twenty minutes of this nearly two hour movie wishing I had jumped ship and gone to see "The Departed." Don’t get me wrong, the movie did have a couple of fun moments, but for the most part this had to be the worst-paced movie I have seen in an awfully long time, and for that I’ve got to give "Running with Scissors" 1 star out of 5, even with the killer 70’s soundtrack that accompanied the film and the multiple funny lines of dialogue.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!