|
|
|
The Time Machine
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
Yancey Arias, Guy Pearce, Jeremy
Irons, Philip Bosco, Phyllida Law |
| MPAA Rated: |
PG-13 |
| Released By: |
Dreamworks SKG |
| Web Site: |
timemachine.countingdown.com
|
| Kiddie Movie: |
Not too young, the Morlocks are
kinda scary. |
| Date Movie: |
She might get scared and snuggle,
or just be pissed you took her to this movie. |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
Would have helped. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
The Morlocks are scary, but you
don't really see too much gore. |
| Action: |
The Morlocks chase people. |
| Laughs: |
Just that I actually was enjoying
the movie for a little while. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
None. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
None. |
| Directed By: |
Gore Verbinski, Simon Wells |
| Produced By: |
Walter F. Parkes, David Valdes |
|
|
The Time Machine
A Movie Review |
|
 |
I was sort of buying "The Time Machine" until the end
scenes with the Uber-Morlock, leader of the Morlocks. Now, I don’t
know if anything like that was in the original movie, I don’t know if
it was in the book, but at that point I just couldn’t take how stupid
Alexander Hartdegen (Guy Pierce) was, as was the movie.The story
kinda goes as follows: Alexander is a scientist obsessed with time but
can never be on time. When his new fiancé, Emma (Sienna Guillory),
gets killed, he goes on his quest to make his time machine so he can
go back and save Emma from getting killed. So he stops her from
getting killed by the robber, but now she gets squashed by a
"horseless carriage." No "third times a charm" to try and save Emma,
nope, Alexander gives up and heads to the future. Ain’t love grand! In
the future he happens upon a museum in New York City, finds out from
the hologram of the museum curator-type person, Vox (Orlando Jones),
that no one has invented a time machine yet, then as the moon is
exploding he bumps his head and ends up 800,000 years into the future
where he is taken in by the Eloi, specifically Mara (Samantha Mumba),
who live on cliffs so the Morlocks can’t get them at night. Alright,
fine, humans survived but a strange creature has evolved, the Morlocks,
who take the humans to breed and eat. Sure, Alexander is falling for
Mara, and why not, she’s hot and speaks English (not the normal native
tongue of the Eloi), and when Mara gets kidnapped, Alexander goes to
save her. Fine, let’s have Alexander show the Eloi that they can fight
the Morlocks instead of being sissies hoping they aren’t the one to be
taken next. But no, in his quest to save her we get the Uber-Morlock,
some dude who has the mental powers to control the Morlocks, send
disturbing dreams to the Eloi, and now Alexander has to save the
world. At this point I was snapped back into reality that "The Time
Machine" was really just a hodgepodge of a story that when you think
about it, really doesn’t make any sense.
As cool as it was seeing the earth evolve, "The Time Machine" just
has you wonder what kind of dope this Alexander guy really is. He
quits trying to save Emma after two tries, he only makes a couple of
stops into the future until he bips himself in the noggin and wakes up
on a cliff, and how does he figure out that his time machine can be
used as a weapon? It just ended up being too convoluted to believe. So
with that I give "The Time Machine" 2 stars out of 5. Wait for the
rental and send the kids to bed early so they don’t have nightmares
about the Morlocks.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!! |
