Being Sick, Super Bowl Pre-Game, and Bobby Flay Needs to Learn About Food.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Maybe it’s the cold weather, maybe it’s something I ate, but for whatever reason
I find myself sidelined from my Super Bowl watching plans by some kind of
stomach flu, complete with a slight fever. So as I’m curled up here on my couch,
waiting for the game to start, I am forcing myself through the pre-game
coverage, and figured I would type a quick blog.

My Super Bowl viewing plans
were pretty simple, and pretty much the same as it has been for the last half a
dozen years: Hop in the dude-mobile and watch the game at Dewey, my
accountant’s, house with his friends and family. I even had some hors ‘d oeuvres
to bring, and had I felt better yesterday, I probably would have attempted this
fabulous peach cream cheese cake/pie thing. So, instead, I’ll probably heat up
the hors ‘d oeuvres for myself, so I don’t have to cook, and just stay curled up
under a blanket on my couch.

But a couple of observations I have had while watching the pre-game coverage
have really struck me. One is, and no breaking bad on Stevie Nicks, but what the
hell was she doing there, singing "Stand Back," which is from like 1983. I also
hope some producer or director is getting chewed out for the ending of the
"Baghdad Bowl" segment. All was going well, we got to see the soldiers playing
some flag football, then there was the nice "letting some of them give
shout-outs back home," and as Randy Cross was introducing the climactic moment
of the segment, with all of the soldiers yelling "Hello back home, we love you!"
someone cut back to James Brown, asking an inane question if any of the soldiers
might want to be football players, then cutting back to the soldiers, then Randy
Cross doing his best to wrap-up the segment. Randy Cross had the perfect ending
for the segment; too bad J.B. couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

And finally, a message to Bobby Flay, who was doing the food segment. First
off, from everything I’ve been able to find on the Internet in my two minute
search, Indianapolis is famous for its breaded pork tenderloin sandwich. You
came up with corn, proceeding to now highlight a corn-dog, and I believe it was
a butterscotch pie. Then you moved to Chicago, where you spotlighted the
Italian beef
sandwich
and the
Chicago
Style Hot Dog
. Both good choices, but in my now 21 years living in the
Chicago area, I have never heard of putting mustard, nor red peppers on the
Italian beef. From what I know there are only three things you add to your
Italian beef: Green sweet pepper slices, hot giardiniera, and/or more juice. And
I don’t know what bread you were using, but it also isn’t served on bread/roll
that is sliced all the way through like a submarine sandwich, it is sliced
half-way through to conveniently hold the beef and peppers, until, of course,
the juice soaks through, the bread disintegrates, and the beef and peppers end
up on your plate or tie. And your Chicago Style Hot Dog needs some work, also.
You do not put chopped tomatoes on the hot dog, you put tomato slices, and you
also forgot two other major ingredients, the Kosher dill pickle spear and the
sport peppers. And you also forgot to mention that in no instance are you to add
ketchup to the Chicago hot dog.

Well, I should wrap this up and get wrapped back up on the couch. And Bobby
Flay, can I recommend two things? One is Google (look up "famous Indianapolis
food") and Wikipedia, which gives detailed info on both the Chicago hot dog and
the Italian beef, as well as that breaded pork tenderloin.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Abdulism’s of the Week Are Coming Soon, Go Bears, and Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

For this podcast The Dude on the Right is eagerly anticipating the “American Idol” contestants actually getting to Hollywood, and really wishes the Super Bowl with the Chicago Bears and Indianapolis Colts was over already so the over-coverage of the event, at least in Chicago, would end. He also wishes the Super Bowl would be played in Chicago over the weekend, rather than in Miami, because the weather forecast for Chicago on the day of the Super Bowl puts the phrase “Frozen Tundra” in a whole new league.

Abdulism’s of the Week Are Coming Soon, Go Bears, and Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

By:

The Dude on the Right

As much as I like the
American Idol
auditions, thankfully they are almost over as Feb. 13 brings
all of the contestants to Hollywood, and if all goes well, the return of my "Abdulisms
of the Week," or whatever I decide to call them.  I’m also almost sick of
the Super Bowl coverage
and can’t wait for the game to be over, even though the Chicago Bears are one of
the teams in the game.  And with the weather we are supposed to have in
Chicago on Sunday, wouldn’t it be so much cooler to have a Super Bowl game here,
with a game-time temperature of about 3 degrees (so much cooler, get it?),
rather than the game being playing in Miami with temperatures in the upper 60’s,
maybe with some rain.

Thanks for listening and your comments.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

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Maybe I Should Just Shave My Head.

Okay, so I ran out of shampoo this weekend. Now it is important to realize
I am very picky when it comes to my shampoo. I figure if a haircut costs
$40.00 then I must have a pretty special head of hair. Why else would it
cost so much, right? Yea, I know, they are sticking it to me. Well, since
I’m picky about my shampoo I cannot just drive over to the Piggly Wiggly to buy
it, this takes an actual trip with effort involved. So I drive over to one
of the only two salons… See, fancy already, it is a SALON, not a grocery
store, within 2 hours of my pad, to get my shampoo. Now, when I arrive, I
am greeted at the door with a smile, and I rush over to the display with my
magical brand of shampoo.
AVEDA – oooh, earth
and science in a bottle. Sadly I notice there is no 8.5 oz bottle of my
shampoo type. Yes – my hair deserves a specific type of a specific brand,
but there is only the 33.8 oz sized bottle. So I ask for the smaller
bottle… I don’t have hair all over my body which requires that much shampoo… I
come to find out AVEDA no longer makes it in the smaller bottle. Okay, one
more person sticking it to me.

So I have to suck it up and purchase the
grizzly-bear sized bottle. Okay, so I didn’t pay attention to the cost of
the grizzly-bear sized bottle (hmm, $40.00), but since I pay that much for a
hair cut why should I complain? I smile, pay the girl, and drive home with
my head all a tingle because I will be once again treating my hair with AVEDA –
ooooh, earth and science in a bottle. So, I proceed to place the
grizzly-bear sized bottle of shampoo… Oh wait! WHAT THE HELL? Yes,
having not excelled in reading French in grammar school I missed that instead of
shampoo I have a huge grizzly-bear sized bottle of CONDITIONER! Who in the
hell needs a gigantic bottle of conditioner??? Also, when I specifically
asked about SHAMPOOOOOO, how did the happy girl at the counter somehow hear
AVEDA conditioner? And also, is it sooo difficult to clearly use the
English language to boldly indicate CONDITIONER on a bottle? Hell, there
is plenty of room on a 33.8 oz sized bottle to spell out conditioner in bold
writing with underlines! Even the 8.5 oz of conditioner is in a different
shaped bottle so you cannot get them confused. So now I must take a trip
back to exchange for a bottle of shampoo and oh, by the way, the magical SALON
is closed on Mondays so I, and my hair, have to wait even one more day. This makes me wonder: Is shaving my head really such a bad idea?

See Ya!
Trash

What’s New? A Podcast of: Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up: Hooters are Nicer in Houston, Nintendo Wii Elbow, A Sweet 16 Party, and “Artie Lange’s Beer League.”

For this podcast of “Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up,” The Dude on the Right went to Texas for his niece’s Sweet Sixteen party and found Hooters are nicer in Texas. He also fills Stu in about teens these days, the dangers of playing Nintendo Wii, and watching boobies on his laptop at the airport. Stu Gotz, meanwhile, went to see a movie with his kids and thought it sucked.

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up: Hooters are Nicer in Houston, Nintendo Wii Elbow, A Sweet 16 Party, and “Artie Lange’s Beer League.”

By:

The Dude on the Right

I like Hooters.  And
Stu likes Hooters.  And it’s time for another episode of "Stu & The Dude’s
Weekend Wrap-Up!"  And speaking of Hooters,

Spring, TX has the best Hooters
I have ever seen.

I also got a chance to
play with a Nintendo Wii, which may lead to destruction and injuries, give Stu
some stories about my niece’s Sweet Sixteen party that can be told on air,
leaving other stories for off the podcast so as not to embarrass my niece. 
And lastly, for me, in conjunction with

my last blog
, I decided to watch "Artie Lange’s Beer League" in the airport
while I waited to board my delayed flight.  Stu, in the meantime, saw
"Happily N’Ever After" and didn’t really like it, and he is still obsessed with
the "Battlestar
Galactica
" chick.

Thanks for listening and your comments.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

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Blogging From an Airplane, and Watching an R-Rated Movie on a Plane.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Here I am, some probably 25,000 to 32,000 feet up in the air, in a tube being
held up by a whole bunch of stuff I learned in college (something about airfoils
and jet propulsion), on my way to Houston for my favorite niece’s birthday. I
just got done watching last Monday’s episode of “Heroes” titled “Godsend,”
thanks to iTunes. Since I screwed up my TiVo Season Pass (how the hell did “Two
and a Half Men” get ahead of “Heroes”?) I was able to give Apple and NBC a
couple of bucks by downloading the episode yesterday as part of my pre-trip
planning. I also typed a couple of movie previews, and since I’m just killing a
little more time because someone already did the crossword puzzle in the
American Way magazine, I figured I would type this blog, which if things go as
planned, I can post tonight. Obviously, if you are reading this, things went as
planned.

Weird how things sometime turn out when you are flying, though, because at
first there was no one sitting in the seat in front of me, then these two girls
seat-jumped (worrying me that the one now in front would put her seat back), and
then the dude who actually was assigned that seat showed up. He nicely let her
stay in his seat, instead taking the aisle. He then proceeded to slur his words
a bit (by his own admission he was at the airport bar and almost missed the
flight), explaining to her that country music in San Antonio is a lot different
than country music in Chicago, and she nicely dealt with conversation. As my
luck would have it, the dudette decided to spend the flight staring out the
window, with her seat in the upright position, while drunk dude proceeded to put
his seat as far back as possible, and probably drool a little while he napped.
Two empty seats next to me, someone in front who didn’t put their seat back, and
a nice take off and safe landing. That’s about all I ask for in a plane flight.

Anyway, I should probably start to wrap-up this quick little blog entry,
which is really just a test of seeing if I have my laptop set-up to remotely get
my blog updated, thanks to the free internet access at the hotel I am staying.
Sadly it doesn’t look like internet access on the airlines will be happening
soon, but then again, maybe it’s a good thing because the people in back of you
could peak through the seat and see that you are looking at internet porn. Which
does lead me to an interesting dilemma because since I watched “Heroes” on the
way down to Houston, I brought a couple of DVD’s to watch on the trip back to
The Windy City, one being “Thank You for Smoking” and the other being “Artie
Lange’s Beer League.” The dilemma part: They both are rated “R” and they both
contain nudity. Hopefully on the flight back there won’t be anyone sitting
behind me to wonder what kind of pervert watches that kind of stuff on a plane,
or maybe, better yet, a hot dudette will be sitting behind me, moving to the
seat next to me because she is interested in the kind of pervert that would
watch that kind of stuff on a plane. But that’s a story for a later blog.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up: Go Bears! And Movies, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Sweet Sixteen Talk.

For this podcast of “Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up,” The Dude on the Right is happy the Chicago Bears are heading to the Super Bowl, and screw the orange crop, he’s hoping for a sudden freeze in Miami, complete with snow, on February 4th. The Dude also saw “Pan’s Labyrinth.” Stu Gotz, meanwhile, is worring The Dude will start painting himself in Bears’ colors, and took his kids to see “Arthur & The Invisibles.” Stu also helps The Dude with his “wearing a tie” dilemma.

The Doomsday Clock, Simon Cowell is the Only One Who Cares, and My Demon Dog.

Last week, in a nutshell, wasn’t too bad.

First there was news of the
Doomsday Clock moving
5 minutes before midnight. Now at first I was a little concerned, I mean this
clock is counting down to the end of the world – shouldn’t we all be stockpiling
food and water? This has to be as bad as Y2K, right? Well isn’t it? Oh wait; I
have no idea what the hell the Doomsday Clock is! Apparently I live under a rock
because this is a very important turn of events. After a quick search on the
information superhighway all is revealed. I found out that I don’t know anything
about this clock because I missed every issue of the Bulletin of the Atomic
Scientists, since 1947. Whew! I was really worried. Somehow that information was
missing among
global warming
,

WMD’s
and

Britney Spears
not wearing underwear while out partying. Which makes me
wonder why in the world are a bunch of geeks changing time on a clip-art clock
every time they decide some nuclear threat has changed (did I mention it is an
arbitrary decision). Oh I know! They are

"experts."
Need I say more……?

Then there is the start of
American Idol. Now I
must admit I do not care for the actual competition, I like to see the
auditions. I mean come on; can you believe there are people who don’t realize
they suck as bad as they do? I love the contestants that go up there, sing like
goats being tortured, and cry when Simon tells them the truth. How is it
possible that people can go through life actually thinking they have the best
voice on the planet? Do all of their friends and families actually think they
are good? Aren’t they supposed to love ya, or at least want to protect the
family name? It is mind-boggling. From what I can tell the only person who
actually loves these people (or humanity) is Simon. Hell, he will actually look
you in the face and tell you the truth. There should be less bashing of Simon
and more bashing of the uncaring family members who would rather you be
publicly humiliated then tell you, in private, that you can’t sing.

To round off my week I successfully took my demon dog to the vet. Now you
have to experience my demon dog to truly understand the success of this event.
My demon will bite just about anyone, at anytime, because you only thought about
touching her (I have scars to prove it). Now since her demonic behavior did not
appear until I had her for over 2 years, I couldn’t get rid of her because,
well, she was my demon dog. So, after extensive training and Prozac (for me and
the dog), I have been able to control most of her anger issues. This last one
was a stress free trip to the vet (for me not her). Face it, what dog wants
needles and fingers stuck in their butt? Usually this trip consists of a few
sedatives and three to four vet assistances holding her still. This time, after
five minutes and only three angry snaps at my hands, I was able to get a muzzle
on her. This was then followed by a calm, quiet, sober dog taking a shot in her
butt, and allowing fingers up her butt, without so much as a whimper. Could this
mean the exorcism worked? Only time will tell.

See Ya!
Trash

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up: Go Bears! And Movies, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Sweet Sixteen Talk.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Stu was treated to a change in our theme music, at least for a few weeks, and
with Stu involved it must be another episode of "Stu & The Dude’s Weekend
Wrap-Up!"  Me, I’m psyched, because the
Chicago Bears beat up
the New Orleans Saints, and now it’s the Bears v. the
Colts (of Indianapolis of
course) in Super Bowl XLI
Aside from tattoo questioning, and wondering if Tony Dungy is bummed because
Lovie Smith will now always be known as the first black head coach to lead a
team to the Super Bowl, only because the Colts had the later game, Stu is
worried I’m going to start painting my face and belly.  Both of us also saw
some movies, mine being

"Pan’s Labyrinth,"
while Stu took his kids to see "Arthur and The
Invisibles."

Stu thinks I might be able to pull off wearing two ties to my
niece’s Sweet Sixteen party, and doesn’t seem to find Sacha Baron Cohen’s speech
at The Golden Globe Awards nearly as amusing as I did.

Thanks for listening and your comments.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

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