Tag: Andy Wonders

Do you make your bed every day?

I saw a story in the newspaper the other day about how not making your bed can actually be healthier for you. It was related to dust mites and their need for moisture, and how leaving your bed unmade actually lets your bed air out, become less moist, and thus a less-friendly environment for the proliferation of dust mites. As I started to look into the story, however, I realized this idea has been going around for years, and that it seems every few years someone picks up on the concept, throws an article in a newspaper, especially when allergy season is bad, and everyone is like “Wow, I shouldn’t make my bed.” I was the same way, as somehow I’ve gotten in the habit of making our bed every morning (although I do admit my bed-making skills are not the greatest so now I’m trying to convince my wife we should be a Kickstarter investor in Smart Bedding, whose tagline is “Never Make Your Bed Again,” but for this she just looks at me like I’m lazy).  Okay, back to dust mites. I said to my wife, “I’m going to stop making the bed. We’ll have less dust mites.” She looked at me like, “Whatever,” and I pointed to the news article, realizing she wasn’t really buying it, and that I would somehow keep making the bed anyway as habits are what they are.

My problem now is that I actually started reading up on this, and finding this article from Hyla Cass in The Huffington Post, she tells me that I should keep making the bed, only now it becomes more complicated as I should “air-out” the bed before remaking it.

I guess, in the end, dust mites, dust schmites, I’ll probably keep making the bed, and probably won’t air it out as the article recommends. I will plight, however: Do you make your bed every day?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

And as a P.S. to bed-making, no, I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet.

Do You Want a Motorcycle?

I’ve been hearing a lot about motorcycles lately, namely people who want them, or especially in seeing these tricycle style bikes, all tricked out, or as I call them, motorcycle wannabes. As I look around on the internet I find that they are called “trikes,” yes, like the little kid tricycles, and even Harley-Davidson, or what I thought was the “cool of the cool” in terms of motorcycles, is in the game, with something called the “Tri Glide Ultra” (It starts at $32,549 according to the Harley website). It also seems Harley has been doing trikes for quite some time, but maybe it’s just because I’ve been seeing them more recently that I’ve started to care.

Me, when I was in high school, we had a moped, which I thought was cool, but really, in retrospect, was kind of dorky. The thing was, with the moped, you didn’t need a license to drive one, as the contraption combined the thrill of the motorcycle with pedals you could actually use should you run out of gas, I suppose. The other problem was that the pedals were practically useless as it was akin to pedaling a 100 pound bicycle in first gear should that 100 pound bicycle be a ten speed. I, however, was also a rebel, as our moped actually had an engine that was classified as too large to be considered on the “bicycle” license so that if I was actually pulled over by the cops, I could be arrested for not having a motorcycle license.

Anyway, the thing about the “trike” is it just seems like a lazy man’s motorcycle, with the three wheels so you don’t really have to balance, and many times it seems the trike owners tend to trick out their trikes, adding much more in terms of bling to them, as if seeing you on a trike didn’t bring attention to you enough, now you have to make it fancy.

Trikes aside, there is the part of me that thinks riding a motorcycle would be cool, what with the wind in your hair and bugs in your teeth, reminiscent of my days on the moped. But then the practical part of me goes that I can’t really afford a motorcycle, living in the Chicago area means I could only really ride it for half a year, then there are the asshole drivers I see who don’t treat motorcycle riders with any respect, and to top it off my garage is too small.

In the end I don’t see myself riding a motorcycle anytime soon, let alone buying one, but that’s not going to stop me from plighting: Do you want a motorcycle?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you pull a spoon out of your mouth upside down?

Many times I think I’m weird, have weird thought processes, or do weird things, but as I was eating ice cream years ago my wife pointed out to me that I pull the spoon out of my mouth upside down.  I let the comment go, even though I realized it did, but it wasn’t until I started paying attention to my yogurt eating lately that I’ve become obsessed with it,  as yes, I put the spoon full of yogurt in my mouth, and then turn it over so that my bottom lip cleans off the spoon. As I now pay attention to different things I eat with a spoon, I notice I don’t do it with everything. My cereal in the morning? Nope, in goes the spoon right-side-up, and then it comes out the same way. Soup? Pretty much the same thing, as long as it’s a “liquid” kind of soup like chicken noodle. But when it comes to creamier things, like yogurt, ice cream, or something like a cream of broccoli soup, in goes the spoon right side up, and then I’ll turn the spoon upside down in my mouth, and pull it out perfectly clean.

So, as I was eating my yogurt the other day and pulling the spoon out of my mouth, I wondered how many others seemed to do this, or if you even realize you do it? This might be a plight you need to investigate, so if you don’t know for sure, go out, get some ice cream or yogurt, eat it with a spoon, and report back on how you pull the spoon our of your mouth. Until then I plight: Do you pull a spoon our of your mouth upside down?

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have you Considered Training for a Marathon?

Every now and then I go for a long walk. Sometimes it’s with our dog, Milo, and sometimes it will be a solo walk, but undoubtedly, during one of these walks, I think to myself, “Self, you like longs walks. Why don’t you train for a marathon?” In my head I have grandiose notions of being some 40+ year old dude who can somehow beat the Kenyans to the finish line at the Chicago Marathon, then I’ll try to jog for a while instead of walk, and then, rather quickly, as I’m huffing and puffing, reality kicks back in as I then think to myself, “Self, what are you thinking?”, and then it’s back to walking. The thinking then goes back to things like my “bowler’s knee” as I call it, where I have issues with my left knee from all of my years of bowling when I was a younger lad. Then the thoughts go to my OCD, or rather I should say my ankle OCD, or to be technical, my osteochondrosis dessicans, and figuring there is no way my ankle, let alone my knee would be up for the challenge. Then, of course, there is the actual training, where, I was reminded today by a post from a friend on Facebook, that you shouldn’t drink beer while training for a marathon. I know beer is involved in marathon training, but I think it’s supposed to be after the marathon and not before.

I know a couple of people who have completed a marathon and applaud them, and I know a couple of others who are training (I’m not sure on one of them anymore as their excuse for training was so that they could eat more, or at least so they posted), but me, I think I’ll stick to my walks. That is, unless, beer is part of the “before” training regimen. Maybe I’ll have to look into this marathon training a little more.

With the Chicago Marathon coming up in a little over a month, and inspired by a post by a friend of mine, I know I consider marathon training every now and then, and so I plight: Have you considered training for a marathon?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Is it Wrong to Use a Coupon at Goodwill?

The other day I had twenty dollars in my pocket. What is a man to do? Of course, I went to the Goodwill because I could really use some gator shoes that were green and a velour jumpsuit. Upon entering there was a lady at the table, and she offered me a coupon. I thought to myself, “Self, it’s a coupon! Sweet!”, but then I thought, “Self, it’s a coupon for Goodwill. Weird.”

Now, I know some of bad stories about Goodwill, about the executives supposedly making money while the workers get paid squat, and even I wonder how they are able to expand so quickly where it almost seems there is a Goodwill on every corner lately, but for Goodwill to issue a coupon seems a bit bizarre, even if it is probably meant for someone who needs it a little bit more than I do. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good bargain, but is Goodwill hurting to the point now that they have to issue coupons?

Sadly, my Goodwill was out of the green, gator shoes, and the velour jumpsuit looked a bit, well, too velour, so I ended up leaving the store empty handed, and I didn’t even keep the coupon even though I probably should have taken it for another trip down the road, or maybe to pass along to some people who might be able to use it more, but all I could kept thinking, and so I have to plight: Is it wrong to use a coupon at Goodwill?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Are You Ready for Autumn?

Sure, this is mostly a northern hemisphere question for all of my worldly readers, but as the weather is starting to shift here in Chicago, and we always seem to say that it’s been a weird this season or that season, as the sunny hours are getting shorter, the skies are getting grayer, and the weather goes from oodles of boob sweat or sweating your balls off, to “Where did I put my jacket?”, it’s the time of year when the summer folks are sad to see the warmth go, and the winter folks are happy because snow is right around the corner. Me, I enjoy the change of seasons, sometimes like a decent snow, and love the change of colors in the fall, so I guess it’s not too much of a stretch to say I’m looking forward to fall. I guess my only complaint is that the perfect time of year, you know, when he colors are at their peak, always seems to be too short. It’s kind of like winter when there is that one week that is perfect, or the summer when you get a decent stretch of not too hot, not too cold weather, or even the spring, when the flowers just start to bloom and it feels like, well spring in the air.

I guess what I’m really saying is that it’s almost too bad the year wasn’t four months long, with one perfect month for each season because, generally, it seems after about one month we would be ready for the next one. Instead we always get those in-between months, where it’s not quite in season, it’s not quite out of the season, and we are either in “I wish it were…” or “What happened to…?” mode.

In any case, before you know it the leaves will be off of the trees, people will complain about it being too cold, and I’ll be having a plight about if you are ready for spring. For now, though, I plight: Are you ready for Autumn?

That’s it for this plight!I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Did you eat something off of a barbecue grill on Labor Day?

It was almost a weird Labor Day for me as the unthinkable almost happened. Sure, it was the “official” end of summer with the Labor Day Weekend coming and going, and although there might be another chance or two for another summer-time corn dog (best chance right now is something called Sandwich Fair here in Illinois, also known as the Dekalb County Fair, but we’ll see), this year’s final corn dog came about thanks to Naperville’s Last Fling, where they actually had hand-dipped corn dogs, though still not as good as the Channahon Three Rivers Festival.

As things are wont to do, though, my wife and I started to have our discussion about dinner, and at first things centered around things not barbecue. There was some talk about chicken parmesan, I thought a little bit about pizza in my head, but then, thankfully, things turned around and went to hamburgers and macaroni salad, the latter thanks to a sample at Trader Joe’s, and the former being a perfect combination for the latter. And, oh yea, our other local grocery story had sweet corn at 10 for $1.00, so corn also became an option.

And so, my summer finished off with hamburgers topped with cheddar cheese, bacon, onion, and tomato, with grilled corn and macaroni salad on the side, and all became well with the world, but I wondered, and so I plight: Did you eat something off of a barbecue grill on Labor Day?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Should “twerk” have been added to the Oxford Dictionary Online?

I have to admit that this is sort of a trick question. You see, there are two versions of the Oxford Dictionary. First there is the prestigious Oxford English Dictionary. This is the official dictionary where words are never removed, some words may be way out of date, and is sort of the “Official” dictionary. Then there is the Oxford Dictionary Online. From the Oxford University Press, the folks that put out both, “The dictionary content in ODO focuses on current English and includes modern meanings and uses of words,” which I take to mean as the “We can add things, and take them away, and it’s fun to get in the news when we add things like ‘twerk’ and ‘grats’ to it” version.

During the week there was much hubbub as The Oxford folks added “twerk” to the ODO version, much to the dismay of scholars, but probably much to the delight of Miley Cyrus who is now taking credit for a word being added to the dictionary even though it has supposedly been used since around the time she was born. It’s also a word that will probably, thanks to Miley, be shunned from this week forward as visions of people dancing as teddy bears and a Disney star going blue, sporting a foam finger, and wishing her tongue was as long as Gene Simmons’ will forever be associated with it thanks to her performance on the MTV Video Music Awards.

I suppose, maybe, this plight should have actually been something like “Did you know there are two versions of the Oxford dictionary?”, but what fun would that have been? Instead, now I’m wondering if you answered the question in your head thinking “twerk” was added to the “official” dictionary? In the end, though, I plight: Should “twerk” have been added to the Oxford Dictionary Online?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What Would You Consider More Secure: A Fax, An Email, or the U.S. Mail?

The other day I needed to request some documentation. I was given two options: Via normal U.S. mail or via fax. This being 2013 I was a little perplexed, and the options seemed very much like the 1990’s. I inquired: “Can’t I get it sent to me by email?” The nice lady on the phone said, “No, we only consider the mail and faxes secure, so we don’t send anything by email.” As I sat there in almost utter amazement at the lack of an email option, my head started to try and process the securedness of all three options.

The mail – On average I probably get one piece of mail every couple of months that is meant for someone else, which always makes me wonder what of my mail never makes it to me, and are the people who receive my mail nice enough to either bring it over if it’s a neighbor, or throw it back in the mail? Also, who hasn’t seen the TV show where someone gets something by mail, only to have their wife “steam” the envelope open to see what it is, and then reseal it?

The fax – Having done like many folks, we’ve given up our land line months ago, and with that the multi-functioness of the multi-function printer diminished by one as faxing becomes moot. Sure, the fax sitting in the home is pretty secure if you are sitting right next to it, patiently waiting for the fax to arrive, but in an office setting, where you may have your faxes delivered to you by an underling, how is that very secure?

The email – Sure, we all know the government and your email provider is probably spying on you, but what else is new? And fine, maybe if you have an email sent to a work account your IT guy is seeing that you like jokes about dogs, but if I have something sent to a private email, and then can print it so that I can directly have the piece of paper in my hand, I’m thinking maybe a little more secure.

Looking for some expediency instead of security I opted for the fax, having it sent to someone I could sort of trust, and hoping they wouldn’t wonder “Why is The Dude getting jokes about dogs faxed to him?” My dog jokes fixation aside, I plight: What would you consider more secure: A fax, an email, or the U.S. Mail?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Did You Try to Watch the MTV VMA’s Online?

So it’s a Sunday night, and I find myself not being able to watch MTV on TV and remember it’s the night of the VMA’s. That’s right, the Video Music Awards. What am I to do? How am I to catch the likes of a Lady Gaga, a Katy Perry, a rumored *nsync reunion complete with Justin Timberlake? As I have a decent internet connection I do some quick online searching and every news story seems to say that MTV will have a live stream of the VMA’s, and I thought, “Sweet! I’ll just watch the show online!” I head to the MTV.com site, there is some kind of All Access feed, and I’m ready for some awards! “Hmm? This is peculiar.”, I think to myself, “Did I click the right feed? All I’m getting are these weird camera views that I could care less about. What the hell is this Stage Manager cam? I don’t care about the audience. Where’s my Gaga?!?!?” I try again. And again. And because I keep thinking I’m clicking something wrong I head back to some of the news stories that had links to the VMA feed. I click. I get the same feed of everything except the actual awards, only in the corner of the video is a view of the awards, but no sound, saying to watch on MTV.

All I can now think is that MTV either screwed up their feed online, or they did a great job of hoodwinking every news outlet, saying they were going to have a live feed of the VMA’s, but not explaining that it won’t actually be a feed of the show, but rather feeds of camera views no one really cares about, unless, of course, Will Smith was caught picking his nose on the Audience cam.

And so it was a night when I realized why I really don’t like MTV any longer. I guess, mostly, it’s because they don’t show music videos like they actually used to, and that they haven’t had a decent TV show in years, but thankfully the company Vevo is starting to take over the video market, and actually show me everything from a Gaga, to Iggy Pop.

The press people for MTV did a great job at getting people to actually go to their site to watch the VMA’s. I’m thinking they also did a great job at pissing off 99% of the people who went to their site actually trying to watch the VMA’s. Either way, I’m plighting: Did you try to Watch the MTV VMA’s Online?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!