Elf

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Elf
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Edward Asner, Bob Newhart, Mary Steenburgen, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: New Line Cinema
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: Bring everyone along.
Date Movie: Bring her along, too!
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Buddy the Elf beating up the fake Santa.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots of them.
Memorable Scene: Buddy the Elf beating up the fake Santa.
Memorable Quote: Too many to list.
Directed By: Jon Fabreau

Here’s my advice to Will Farrell, and take it for what it’s worth: Please don’t try to play a dramatic actor. Your niche is comedy, and you are great at it, and you are quickly showing that any branch of comedy can be yours. Please don’t set yourself up for a fall playing a dramatic role, no matter what the folks say. Anyway, on to Elf…

It seems that on one of his Christmas runs Santa picked up a wayward baby from an orphanage. Not really knowing what to do, Santa kept the baby for his own. Alright, not really his own, but Santa decided he should be raised as an elf. And so we get Buddy (Will Farrell), a little oversized for the miniature world of Santa’s helpers. And yes, he didn’t really figure out something was different about him until one day his surrogate dad, Bob Newhart (In a fabulous role I must say), had to break the news that true, Buddy was not an elf, and yes, his father was in New York City and on the naughty person list.

So Buddy is off to NYC to find his father and bring a little Christmas cheer to the folks in the big city. Now yes, you have to suspend a lot of disbelief that things are happening, but then again, it is a story about Santa and his elves. In NYC, Buddy does find his dad, and dad is a not-so-great man. Turns out he is a children’s book publisher, and not an honest one at that.

And so Buddy is welcomed into Dad’s home, mom accepts this thirty year old dude in tights, and Buddy quickly becomes best friends with his half-brother when he shows off his snow-ball skills.

But is the story cute for kids? I thought so, especially since most of the kids in the audience seemed to be having as good a time at the film as I was. They got the potty humor, the love story wasn’t that sappy, and in the end we get the cliché ending we are totally expecting.

Elf works for two reasons. One we get just a nice little Christmas story about a naive elf finding himself in the big city trying to spread Christmas cheer. Two, we get a perfectly cast movie. Edward Asner as Santa is terrific. He’s in a predicament with Buddy and works that out. He has problems with his sleigh and works that out, and in the end is the embodiment of Christmas. James Caan as the dad is great, too, at first just working to make a buck for the company, but then realizing family is just as important. Zooey Deschanel as the love interest is innocent enough, and Mary Steenburgen as mom actually comes off as believable letting buddy into their home. But the two standouts for me were Bob Newhart in a perfectly cast role, as the head elf, in charge of being buddy’s dad yet having to break him the bad news. The other standout is Farrell. He comes off as the innocent one in a movie that could have him as just a dufus, and his scene when he confronts the “fake Santa” at the store (Artie Lange from the Howard Stern Show) is just fabulous.

Elf seemed to be enjoyed by most of everyone in the theater when I was there, although one joke did seem to go over most people’s heads, the one about the baby asparagus being self conscious because their pee smelled (am I the only one familiar with asparagus pee?). Maybe not for the really young one, but I think Elf is pretty great for the whole family.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for Elf.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Beer League

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:26 Long
A Preview by:
The Dude on the Right

Beer League
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Artie Lange, Ralph Macchio, Anthony DeSando, Cara Buono, Laurie Metcalf, Elizabeth Regen, Jim Breuer, Nick DiPaolo, Tina Fey, Jim Florentine, Joseph R. Gannascoli
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Echo Bridge Entertainment
Directed By: Frank Sebastiano

Just the other day as I was watching “The Karate Kid” on cable, I was wondering to myself, “Self, I wonder what is going on with Ralph Macchio’s career.” Okay, I’m lying because I already know – he’s coming up next in a movie called “Beer League.”

If you listen to Howard Stern you probably already know all about “Beer League” because Artie Lange from the show has a whole lot to do with the movie, from some producing, to some writing, to starring in the film. Pretty much the story is about a bunch of softball dudes who are going to get kicked out of the league if they don’t straighten up their act and play better softball, and hilarity is supposed to ensue.

The trailer that was shown during The Howard Stern Film Festival looked pretty funny, and as a fan of the show, I’ll hopefully be able to catch the flick as long as it opens at my local gigaplex.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Bachelor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Bachelor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Chris O’Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored.
Date Movie: She might make you got and then she’ll hate it.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Gary Sinyor

“The Bachelor” had a pretty cool premise. Chris O’Donnell plays Jimmy. He finds out that in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance, as well as save the pool table factory, he has to get married by his 30th birthday. The problem is that his 30th birthday is about 30 hours away and he’s totally screwed up his relationship with the girl he wants to but isn’t ready to marry, Anne (Renee Zellweger). Since he thinks she’s out of the picture on a trip out of the country he goes on a quest tracking down all of his old girlfriends to make them his bride. I wanted the movie to be funny, even though as a romantic comedy you know exactly where this movie would end up, but there was just something missing. Maybe I just couldn’t fathom how Jimmy could find all of his old girlfriends in the 30 hour span, maybe I just didn’t understand why he couldn’t want to initially marry Anne (sorry, but if I was dating her there would be no hesitation in my face to marry her), maybe the jokes were pretty lame, or maybe I’m just becoming a bitter, single, wondering were my future wife is thirty-something dude. I don’t know, but I was just let down.

Alright, let’s fill in some story blanks. Jimmy and Anne have been together about 3 years. Like I said before, Jimmy’s grandfather dies and leaves the stipulation in the will that to get the 100 millionish dollars Jimmy would have to fulfill some conditions (I did like the “What is this, ‘Bruester’s Millions?'” line), like staying married for 10 years and having a kid within 5. It should be simple except that Jimmy already botched asking Anne to marry him so she is questioning the relationship and is supposedly on her way out of the country. So, Jimmy searches for his old girlfriends (could you find 8 of your old girlfriends in a 30 hour span? He did.), and they all turn him down, mostly through his own bumbling of explaining what was going on. Hmm, I’m thinking for 50 million dollars (figuring I’d get half), hell, I’ll marry him. Anyway, it turns out Anne didn’t go overseas, just with her sister to their parents anniversary dinner, and she realized she really loves him and is on her way back to find him (she doesn’t know about the money). Well, low and behold they find each other (she finds out about the money but realizes he really wants to marry her), and it’s a happy ending.

I don’t know, I’m thinking the movie could have been funnier if Jimmy didn’t have a girlfriend and had 30 hours to find Miss Right because then you could have been routing for a certain girl instead of knowing the ending. The things women would do to win him over could have been hilarious, the running from crazed dudettes could have been more real, and it still could have had a storybook ending.

In the end I was disappointed and with that “The Bachelor” get 1 ½ stars out of 5 from me. I love a good romantic comedy, this just wasn’t one of them.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!