Tag: Ben Affleck

To The Wonder

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:53 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

To The Wonder
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ben Afleck, Olga Kurylenko, Rachel McAdams, Javier Bardem
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Magnolia Home Entertainment
Release Date: August 6, 2013
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored. Send them to bed.
Date Movie: They’d also be bored. Send them to bed.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got some.
Gratuitous Violence: Neil and Marina get in some fights.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: Only memorable because there was so much of it: The frolicking.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Terrence Malick
On the Blu-Ray: You get some “Making of…”, Actors stuff, dancing stuff, and some other extras.

As I was watching “To The Wonder,” all I could keep thinking was that had Neil (Ben Affleck) just bought some furniture for his house, maybe he wouldn’t have had all of the problems with his new love, Marina (Olga Kurylenko). Okay, I was also trying to think of something nice to say about the film.

I guess I’ll start with the story…

For “To The Wonder” we get Neil. He’s in France and meets a beautiful woman, Marina, and her daughter. They fall in love, and what does Marina do? Of course she pulls up stakes and moves to Oklahoma. Yes, the wonders of Paris to Oklahoma. Does anyone actually think the couple would have a chance at succeeding? As the movie plays out we get to see a happy couple, a couple who isn’t so happy, a happy couple, a couple who isn’t so happy, a dude going to work and testing soil or something, a couple who isn’t so happy, and a priest who seems confused. Oh, yea, did I mention there is also a priest, Father Quintana (Javier Bardem), who seems to have lost his faith and is somehow part of the movie, but doesn’t seem to play that big a role?

Yes, the movie is about love and all of its factors, but it’s also a movie that seems to show there is no chance at love, at least for the two main characters, and it’s an artsy film about love, with a lot of Marina frolicking through the fields of Oklahoma, a lot of Marina dancing around in ballet moves, even Rachel McAdams as Jane, Neil’s old girlfriend, coming into the picture and she’s spinning and frolicking. All along it also seems like a great role for Ben Affleck as he seemed to have relatively few lines to learn with most of the commentary by Marina in French (Yup, that means you’ll also spend a lot of the movie reading it), as well as Father Quintana commentarying in Spanish (again, more reading for you, the viewer).

Yes, there are people who will like this movie, just not me, and definitely not my wife as, when it ended, she pretty much wanted to give it zero stars for wasting her time. Me, I’m not so critical, seeing some of the artsy ways the movie was working, but even for me, and I can normally try to appreciate an art-house type of film, even this one had me saying things like “Again with the dancing,” and while looking at the interior of Neil’s place wondering why he just doesn’t let Marina do some shopping for some furniture. There are other, better movies about love, I would give this one about 2 stars, but I’ll average things with my wife and end up with 1 star out of 5 for “To The Wonder.” I guess the key if you will like the movie is knowing what to expect, so if you expect frolicking, talking, and reading (unless you understand French and Spanish), you might like it, but for most everyone else you might just wonder how Ben Affleck became involved.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Elektra

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Elektra
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jennifer Garner
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: Nope.
Gratuitous Sex: Just some skimpy outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of people get their asses kicked.
Action: There’s lots of running around.
Laughs: Unfortunately most of them are supposed to be funny.
Memorable Scene: Nothing.
Memorable Quote: Nothing.
Directed By: Rob Bownan

“Daredevil” wasn’t that well received by critics, but it did do alright at the box office, so you would naturally assume there would be a sequel. Now I’m not sure this is how it worked out, but I see the movie people listening to every horny guy out there who couldn’t get enough of Jennifer Garner and her Elektra costume. I hear it now “We need to make a movie with that Garner chick. Is Elektra a real comic? Is there a back story or forward story we could use? I don’t like that story, let’s make another one but we can keep that ‘Hand’ thing to keep it real. Okay, get to it.”

Now, not being a comic book person, I have no idea if the story in the movie “Elektra” ever sort of took place in the comic version. My history with her story is based on the history of Elektra on the Marvel comic’s site, and the comic story is so much better, has much more potential, than the crap story they churned out for this film. For the movie we get re-introduced to Elektra, who has no ties to Matt Murdock (Daredevil) anymore, nope, now she has become a well-paid assassin. She has also honed many of her martial arts skills because now she is pretty much able to run around with super speed, and see a little bit into the future. Well, she gets hired to kill a father and daughter, but in the end she can’t do it. Now she turns from assassin to protector, because the Hand (some evil martial arts group with all kinds of weird powers) still wants the little girl dead. A fight here, a fight there, wolves coming out of some dude’s chest, a dudette who can kill you by blowing you a kiss, and eventually Elektra is back in her skimpy red outfit for one last battle.

Sure, there’s a little more to the story than that, but I’d really rather not bore you, if you go and see the movie you’ll get enough of that.

Like I said before, I don’t know if the storyline in movie Elektra was an actual plot line from the comic books, but I don’t think so, or if it is, they really messed it up (or it was a horrible comic). The best comic book movies don’t try to re-invent the story, the story has already been written (hence the fabulousness of the ‘Spider-Man’ series and the better ‘Batman’ movies). All you need to do is faithfully transfer that story to the big screen. And it’s too bad, because I liked Jennifer Garner as Elektra in “Daredevil,” and in reading the history of Elektra, there was tons of potential, but for me, they blew it. My suggestion – they should have used this movie to develop Elektra, give us more of an insight into how she went from pretty much being dead in “Daredevil” to becoming an assassin. That could have been a good enough movie in itself. Instead, they give you bits and pieces of Elektra’s history in flashbacks, and try to tie it with this nice film of Elektra finding herself.

Well, enough of this review. “Elektra” has a lot of potential but really fails in trying to be too nice of a movie. Garner looks fabulous in her red outfit, and really does great in the fighting scenes, but the story just lacked so much and had such dorky moments (Elektra, waiting for the big fight with her nemesis, in a big, old overcoat, stripping off the coat to reveal her skimpy, red, fighting suit) that I couldn’t get past them. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5 for “Elektra.” Wait for video, or better yet, wait for cable for this one.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dogma

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:08 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dogma
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Chris Rock
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Columbia/Tristar Home Video
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Nope, lots of swearing.
Date Movie: She might find it funny or maybe just find it disturbing.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: They don’t show it, but it’s hinted at.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Lots.
Memorable Scene: Rufus falling out of the sky and Silent Bob’s facial expressions.
Memorable Quote: Two quotes by Jay: “Snootch to the motherfuckin’ nootch!” & “Beautiful, naked, big-tittied women just don’t fall out of the sky you know.”
Directed By: Kevin Smith

I don’t know why but “Dogma” is quickly becoming one of my favorite videos to watch or movies to watch for on cable. Maybe it’s the way they question religious beliefs, maybe it’s the subtle jokes, or maybe it’s because they bust on the platypus. In any case, as long as you can keep an open mind about religion, well, “Dogma” might just be a movie for you.

Opening with a disclaimer that the movie is fictitious and should be taken as a comedy, Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) and Jay (Jason Mewes), joined by the 13th apostle, Rufus (Chris Rock) help Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) make her way to New Jersey to stop two banished angels, Loki and Bartleby (Matt Damen and Ben Affleck) from entering a church and negating all of existence. How can entering a church end existence? Well, it seems the Pope has decreed, in conjunction with the New Jersey church’s anniversary, that all who pass through the church doors get their sins forgiven. Loki and Bartleby, who have been banished by God from Heaven for eternity, could find their way back into heaven if they walk through the church doors. This would make God fallible and thus end existence as we know it. Alright, my explanation isn’t the greatest, but Bartleby does a better job explaining it to Loki, and they begin their journey to the Garden State.

So it’s a race against time to stop Bartleby and Loki, and Bethany and her entourage aren’t without their difficulties getting to Jersey. There’s a run-in with a shit demon, Jay constantly trying to get in Bethany’s pants, Bethany questioning why she is chosen to stop the angels, and Azrael and his goons trying to stop Bethany because he wants existence to end.

Like I said before, “Dogma” is at its best on many levels, from Loki’s conversation with a nun resulting in her wondering what she is doing with her life, to the Rufus’ dilemma of not being in the bible because, well, he is a black man, to Alanis Morrissette playing God, and portraying God as kinda, well, a ditz. This movie isn’t to be taken seriously, but it may make you wonder if Mary did have sex with Joseph after Jesus was born because, as Rufus explains, “Do you really think he would have stayed married to her for all those years if he wasn’t getting laid?”

I didn’t see “Dogma” in the theater so I can’t say which place might be a better venue to see it, but it is nice to be able to pause and rewind to go back and catch a joke or two you might have missed in the theater. That and the fact that the DVD subtitles helped me figure out one of my favorite lines, only because it still doesn’t make sense to me, “Snootch to the motherfuckin’ nootch!” I give Dogma 4½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Daredevil

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Daredevil
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Joe Pantoliano
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: Not too young.
Date Movie: Only if she has the hots for Ben.
Gratuitous Sex: There is a scene, but we still don’t get to see Jennifer Garner’s boobies.
Gratuitous Violence: People die in bad ways.
Action: People get chased in bad ways.
Laughs: Mostly lines from Bullseye.
Memorable Scene: Nothings stands out.
Memorable Quote: Bullseye: “I never miss.”
Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Growing up I was a fan of comic book heroes, but only if they were TV stars. I wasn’t a reader, I was a watcher, and although he might have had a cartoon on TV, I don’t remember Daredevil. Pretty much if you weren’t a part of the Justice League of America, I don’t remember you. And so it is for me with the Daredevil character. I really didn’t know anything about him other than listening to Howard Stern talk about him, so going into the movie all I really knew was that Daredevil was a blind dude whose other senses became enhanced to make him capable of being a superhero. The baseline for the story sounded fine, kinda like a Batman only blind, but when it was announced that Ben Affleck was picked to play Daredevil I began to get skeptical. I saw Ben Affleck as able to play the blind lawyer part well, but there is just something about him that didn’t seem to fit the part of the dark-sided superhero, and for me, I was pretty much right, that and the fact that the movie as a whole was pretty much crap.

Here’s the basic run-down of the movie. We get introduced to Daredevil, collapsing in a church, seemingly injured to the point of no return, or at least a long recovery back. It’s now flashback time and we get introduced into the psychological making of Daredevil, and as usual it has to do with a childhood tragedy – in this case young Matt Murdock finds his father murdered after just winning his boxing match, a victim of the bad guys who wanted Dad Murdock to take a dive. And so young Matt vows to fight crime and has a problem loving women.

Let’s come to the present day, and as Matt goes about representing the less fortunate victims in court by day, by night he plays justice seeker for those who, well, pretty much can hire lawyers better than he is. Meanwhile he is finding a deep underworld, controlled by Kingpin (Michael Clarke Duncan), and sets it upon himself to take out the bad guys. As the story goes he finds a girl, in this case Elektra (Jennifer Garner), who kicks as much ass as he can, and Matt is now in love. As his luck would have it, Elektra’s dad gets set up, a hit put on him by Kingpin, a hit to be carried out by Bullseye (Colin Faffell), and when Daredevil tries to save the day, Bullseye carries out the dirty deed in such a way that Elektra thinks Daredevil killed her dad. Alright, enough of the crap about the story, it’s pretty much cookie-cutter, you can figure out most everything that is going to happen, and mostly every episode of the story gets dragged out so you just wait for the next scene to come. It is this, and the fact that I didn’t really buy Affleck in the superhero mode, that made me anxiously await the ending I figured was going to take place. And, oh yea, for most of the movie Daredevil had this entire ritual to heal himself, in a human sort of way, but at the end, without any explanation, he miraculously overcomes a through-the-shoulder, life-threatening puncture wound as if it never occurred.

There was a reason the first two installments of “Batman” worked, and that was pretty much Michael Keaton. Christopher Reeve was a great Superman, and lately it was Toby McGuire playing a near-perfect Spider-Man. Why did these movies work? Because the lead character was someone who fit both roles. You could believe Keaton as an eccentric millionaire and a slightly devilish Batman; Reeve was great as the clumsy Clark Kent, but not so over-the-top Superman; and McGuire had the perfect boy-ish charm for Spider-Man. Sadly Affleck failed on the superhero side, the side that is probably more important if we want to believe the everyday person can be a superhero. As far as the rest of the crew, Michael Clarke Duncan could have been a better bad guy if they only would have let him; Garner is hot, kicks some major ass, but gets trapped in a predictable role looking to avenge her father’s death; and the only saving graces are Joe Pantoliano as the inquisitive reporter, Ben Urich, looking to figure our the Daredevil story, and saving every scene he was in, Farrell was great as Bullseye, making him a totally over-the-top bad guy, much the way a comic book bad guy should be.

I’m not sure who would have been a better fit for Daredevil, and even if there were someone, I don’t know if they could have saved the movie anyway. Like Batman, Daredevil seems to be more of a dark character and that’s fine, but Daredevil seems to be too confused with whether what he is doing is right or wrong (hence the scenes of him seeking advice from a priest) rather than just realizing that there are bad guys in this world and he has been given a gift to save the people from those bad guys.

In the world of superhero movies I thought Daredevil failed. It wasn’t that you look for something new because you know the underlying story, that the superhero can’t really love someone, that they will get the bad guy, and that there will always be an opening for a sequel, but you just want it to be action-filled, you want a great villain (Bullseye was great in this one but Duncan wasn’t given the chance), and you want to leave rooting for the good guys. In Daredevil I was almost sad when Bullseye fell out of the window, he was the only thing fun about the movie adventure. Sadly it’s 1 ½ stars out of 5 for “Daredevil.” Wait for the rental, wait for cable, or maybe a matinee. It didn’t come across as a movie that you really needed to see on the big screen.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Chasing Amy

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:51 Long
A Review by:
– Stu Gotz

Chasing Amy
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Jason Lee, Dwight Ewell, Jason Mewes
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Miramax Films
Release Date: 1997
Kiddie Movie: Way over the heads of anyone not at least in high school and even then it could be a stretch.
Date Movie: Not if there are romantic or sexual complications in your relationship. Trust me on this one!
Gratuitous Sex: Just some heavy smooching between girls.
Gratuitous Violence: Nope.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: I almost pissed myself.
Memorable Scene: I really liked it when Banky was asking a ton of questions about the whole lesbian love thing between Alyssa and her lover. The guy has no shame and a huge set of balls to be posing the questions how he does. Very funny!
Memorable Quote: Too many to list.
Directed By: Kevin Smith

The movie’s premise was simply put to me “it’s a romantic comedy where a geeky cartoonist falls in love with a lesbian.” “Hmmm. . .” I thought, “A romantic comedy with lesbians. Has potential.” Then when I found out who wrote it, well, “Chasing Amy” rose to the top of my “must see” list.

“Chasing Amy” was written a directed by Kevin Smith of “Clerks” fame and “Mallrats” flame (as in disaster). I loved the dime budgeted “Clerks” and actually was one of the few people who didn’t demand an apology from Kevin for “Mallrats.” I think Kevin learned a lot from his poorly received second movie and it shows in this, the third installment of his “Jersey” trilogy. What I think he learned is that he is best at writing witty and sharp dialog between characters and that he doesn’t need big sets, stunts, or good acting to get his point across. Basically, in “Chasing Amy,” Kevin concentrated on what his characters would say and how they would react. When his characters do speak and react it doesn’t come off as being contrived or “Hollywood Cookbook” dialog mishmash. What I’m trying to say is that the movie feels real.

So we know the movie is about a dork falling in love with a dyke and we can all assume there will be turmoil there from, right? Right. But the movie is so much more. I don’t want to over analyze this thing, however, the movie really does do a great job of bringing out romantic and friendship emotional issues in a way that’s not dull and often funny.

Here’s how it breaks down. Holden (Ben Affleck) and Banky (Jason Lee) are life long friends that have found success together as the comic artist team for “Bluntman and Chronic” (which is a loose spoof and interpretation of their old friends Jay and Silent Bob from Jersey). All is going well for the artistic duo until Holden falls for a cartoon artist he meets at a trade show. Alyssa Jones (Joey Adams) is a talented blonde knock-out with a thing for girls. Banky realizes this is a love that cannot be, and tries to save his buddy from heartache, but Holden won’t accept that. He pursues Alyssa nonetheless under the false pretense of friendship. As you might expect things come to a head, Holden bares his soul, Alyssa freaks out, and the two fall in love. HUH?!? I thought she was gay. I guess she, and the movie so quaintly puts it, “just needed some dick.” All is going well until Banky tries to bridge the gap created by Alyssa by digging up some dirt on her, and boy does he find some ugly shit! This shit he finds is so ugly that Holden foolishly thinks he can’t live with it. Remember in “Clerks” how Dante couldn’t deal with the fact that his girlfriend had sucked 36 cocks before his? Well Holden takes that feeling to the 10th power, and there ends the romance and the artistic duo’s friendship too in somewhat of an unexpected confrontational ending (I won’t give it away). So sad.

So what is the lesson we are supposed to learn? Well, aside from the fact that females are evil I think Kevin wants to say that the past is just that and in a relationship look to the future. Ohhh, how sweet. “Chasing Amy” is not a hugely romantic comedy and has some mixed acting, but nonetheless it is a movie I would recommend seeing for its dialog and creative character scenarios. In my mind “Clerks” is still an edgier movie, but “Chasing Amy” is a close second. I liked “Chasing Amy” and I give it 4 out of 5 stars and I’m Stu Gotz. ’nuff said.

Changing Lanes

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Changing Lanes
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Affleck, Amanda Peet
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: Lots of swear words and an adult story. Leave them with the sitter.
Date Movie: It’s a drama, but she’ll just probably say something like “See, guys are stupid.”
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Not really beating the crap out of each other, but Gavin has a pretty bad car crash.
Action: Some suspense.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Roger Michell

A lot of critics liked “Changing Lanes.” I’m not one of those critics. Let’s start with the basic story.

Ben Affleck is Gavin. He’s a partner in a law firm and on his way to deliver proof that an old man left his foundation to the law firm to take care of. On the way he has a fender-bender with Doyle (Samuel L. Jackson). Doyle is a recovering alcoholic trying to make a court date so he can keep some custody of his two sons. Gavin drops the proof and Doyle picks it up but he’s late for his court date. Gavin can’t prove his case without the proof Doyle picked up, Doyle lost all custody of his kids because he was twenty minutes late, and now it’s a day of who can get the other to flinch. Unfortunately for Gavin, Doyle has the trump card – Gavin just doesn’t realize it.

So both of our boys go through a really crappy day. Gavin is trying to get his file back; Doyle almost gives it back until Gavin pays a computer hacker to fuck with Doyle’s financial life, and now it’s a movie about ethics and just being a good person. Blah.

As I got about an hour into this movie I was bored. Yea, both lives are screwed up, both men are doing whatever is in their power to get their lives back together, and I knew that, in the end, their lives would be back on the road to rebuilding their mental states/ethics to the next level. And it happened.

Don’t get me wrong, the movie was okay, but from all of the rave reviews I had been reading, I figured “Changing Lanes” would be great. For me it wasn’t great, it was just okay. So I say see it, it’s an okay drama, but I was bored with the story about half the way through. Both men are stupid. 2 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!