Tag: movie reviews

Envy

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Envy
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Rachel Weisz, Amy Poehler, Christopher Walken
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks SKG
Release Date: 2004
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: Nope.
Gratuitous Sex: Rachel gets horny in one scene.
Gratuitous Violence: A horse and Christopher Walken gets shot with an arrow.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Few.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Barry Levinson

You would think you could put Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Christopher Walken, and Rachel Weisz in any movie and there would be something enjoyable about it, wouldn’t you? Somehow “Envy” proves this wrong.

This review will be short because I finally hit a movie that I came really close to walking out on. My preview of the movie gave this synopsis: “The story has Ben Stiller as Tim and Jack Black as Nick. It seems they are best friends and co-workers. Nick comes up with some cockamamie invention called Vapoorizer, a spray that makes dog poop vanish. Tim had a chance to buy into it before it hit big, but he thought it stupid. Now Nick is rolling in dough and Tim just gets more envious of Nick. Add Christopher Walken and hilarity ensues.” The problem – hilarity didn’t ensue, in fact, hilarity was nowhere to be found. Alright, that’s really not true, I did laugh a couple of times, but you know, I don’t even remember at what.

I’m not going to waste your time with this movie any more than you should waste your time with this movie. It’s ½ star out of 5, and the only reason for the ½ star was because there was a scene where Rachel looked extremely hot. What a waste of talent.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Enough

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:55 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Enough
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Billy Campbell, Juliette Lewis, Noah Wyle, Tessa Allen
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: Even though it’s PG-13, leave them at home or girls will never trust men…. even the good ones.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to wonder when you are going to snap.
Gratuitous Sex: It would have been better if J.Lo got naked. She did wear some skimpy tops, though.
Gratuitous Violence: Slim gets slapped a few times, but then she beats the shit out of Mitch.
Action: Not really action.
Laughs: I almost laughed while waiting for the “Theme from Rocky” when Slim was doing her self-defense training.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really stood out.
Memorable Quote: Mitch’s mom, upon seeing Slim’s bruises: “What did you do?”
Directed By: Michael Apted

This is what I wrote as my preview for “Enough”, with just information from the trailers…

——-
This movie reminds me of that Julia Roberts’ movie where her husband won’t give up finding her, except in this one the main dudette has a daughter.
Yea, Slim (Jennifer Lopez) marries a wealthy dude, Mitch (Billy Campbell). All is well until, well, he starts to abuse her. She runs, he finds her, and she realizes that if she doesn’t fight back, well, then, her days are numbered in the wrong direction.

The story has been done before, but it looks like the film-people are adding a few twists and turns. If they give me the bad ending, well, I’ll like this film more, but I’m guessing this one will give us the ending we expect. Films in the real world excite me more, like when things don’t work out like a fairy-tale, but most of the other public wants the fairy-tale. I’m guessing Slim kills Mitch and they all live happily ever after. I hope not. For me it will be a better movie if it is on the sad route.

J. Lo is usually pretty decent, so is Billy Campbell, but this has all the looking’s of a cookie-cutter ending. If not I’ll spoil it and let you know.
——–
Sorry if I ruin this movie for you, and please don’t tell me you didn’t think it would end the way it does, but for the most part I was right on every count. For a few more details, simply, Mitch ends up meeting Slim in the diner she works at, they end up getting married, and about 4 years later Slim realizes Mitch is cheating on her. She can’t take it anymore, he says, basically, “Too bad,” and smacks her around. She ends up taking off with their kid.

The problem is that Slim is stupid and Mitch has connections, so, yea, Mitch finds her. On the run again, and with her estranged father now involved, Slim realizes she has only one chance at happiness and that is if she gets rid of Mitch. Go ahead, use your knowledge of foreshadowing and figure out exactly how Mitch will meet his demise. Can someone tell writers and directors to not give away the ending before the ending?

Anyway, if you’re looking for a generic, cookie-cutter thriller with a couple of interesting twists and turns, “Enough” isn’t bad and does its job. Lopez is good as Slim, the mother just wanting a loving family life and doing anything to keep her daughter safe, and you will despise Mitch which means Billy Campbell does his job as well. You will also get to see an evil side to Noah Wyle, a far cry from the more goody-two-shoes Doctor Carter on E.R., in some, not really cameos, but some supporting action. For me, though, and sure no one would probably want to see the movie, I’d have preferred Slim getting screwed in the end because she didn’t do the right thing first, and that would have been to tell the cops and head for a woman’s shelter. As the lawyer tells her, she’s basically fucked in the courts because she ran for the hills.

Call me twisted, and I know it wouldn’t be popular, but it would prove a better drama if Slim gets screwed. In the end it wouldn’t be what you probably want, and that is for Slim to win. You get what you want.

For me “Enough” was a 1 ½ star movie, but from listening to most of the people leaving it was more like 3 ½ stars (I heard a lot of things like “That wasn’t bad.”). I’ll average them together and give “Enough” 2 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!!!

Elektra

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Elektra
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jennifer Garner
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: Nope.
Gratuitous Sex: Just some skimpy outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of people get their asses kicked.
Action: There’s lots of running around.
Laughs: Unfortunately most of them are supposed to be funny.
Memorable Scene: Nothing.
Memorable Quote: Nothing.
Directed By: Rob Bownan

“Daredevil” wasn’t that well received by critics, but it did do alright at the box office, so you would naturally assume there would be a sequel. Now I’m not sure this is how it worked out, but I see the movie people listening to every horny guy out there who couldn’t get enough of Jennifer Garner and her Elektra costume. I hear it now “We need to make a movie with that Garner chick. Is Elektra a real comic? Is there a back story or forward story we could use? I don’t like that story, let’s make another one but we can keep that ‘Hand’ thing to keep it real. Okay, get to it.”

Now, not being a comic book person, I have no idea if the story in the movie “Elektra” ever sort of took place in the comic version. My history with her story is based on the history of Elektra on the Marvel comic’s site, and the comic story is so much better, has much more potential, than the crap story they churned out for this film. For the movie we get re-introduced to Elektra, who has no ties to Matt Murdock (Daredevil) anymore, nope, now she has become a well-paid assassin. She has also honed many of her martial arts skills because now she is pretty much able to run around with super speed, and see a little bit into the future. Well, she gets hired to kill a father and daughter, but in the end she can’t do it. Now she turns from assassin to protector, because the Hand (some evil martial arts group with all kinds of weird powers) still wants the little girl dead. A fight here, a fight there, wolves coming out of some dude’s chest, a dudette who can kill you by blowing you a kiss, and eventually Elektra is back in her skimpy red outfit for one last battle.

Sure, there’s a little more to the story than that, but I’d really rather not bore you, if you go and see the movie you’ll get enough of that.

Like I said before, I don’t know if the storyline in movie Elektra was an actual plot line from the comic books, but I don’t think so, or if it is, they really messed it up (or it was a horrible comic). The best comic book movies don’t try to re-invent the story, the story has already been written (hence the fabulousness of the ‘Spider-Man’ series and the better ‘Batman’ movies). All you need to do is faithfully transfer that story to the big screen. And it’s too bad, because I liked Jennifer Garner as Elektra in “Daredevil,” and in reading the history of Elektra, there was tons of potential, but for me, they blew it. My suggestion – they should have used this movie to develop Elektra, give us more of an insight into how she went from pretty much being dead in “Daredevil” to becoming an assassin. That could have been a good enough movie in itself. Instead, they give you bits and pieces of Elektra’s history in flashbacks, and try to tie it with this nice film of Elektra finding herself.

Well, enough of this review. “Elektra” has a lot of potential but really fails in trying to be too nice of a movie. Garner looks fabulous in her red outfit, and really does great in the fighting scenes, but the story just lacked so much and had such dorky moments (Elektra, waiting for the big fight with her nemesis, in a big, old overcoat, stripping off the coat to reveal her skimpy, red, fighting suit) that I couldn’t get past them. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5 for “Elektra.” Wait for video, or better yet, wait for cable for this one.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Election

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Election
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Chris Klein, Jessica Campbell
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Don’t even think about it.
Date Movie: Sure, bring her along.
Gratuitous Sex: Some, but nothing gratuitous. More talk than action.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Chuckles and gut-busters usually caused by character lines totally unexpected.
Memorable Scene: Anytime Reese changes facial expression.
Memorable Quote: A couple. One by Tammy Metzler, “Sometimes, when I’m sad, I sit and watch the power station.” Another by Paul Metzler, “I really was surprised when Lisa Flannigan asked me for a ride home and then began blowing me.”
Directed By: Alexander Payne

Ahhh, high school.. Where kids learn about growing up, sometimes get laid, play sports, get involved in extracurricular activities, and just want to get the hell out of there. The groups are always the same, the teachers are always the same, but nowhere could I have imagined a run for student government president as came out in the movie “Election.”

“Election” tells the story of Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon), the always with the right answer, always involved in drama, yearbook, government, and any other student organization as long as she is usually the head honcho, and the always is the most known student in high school but not the most popular. It is finally her senior year and her dream is about to come true – President of student government. Enter Jim McAllister (Matthew Broderick), the bestest teacher in the school, the one everyone goes to with their problems, the one always there grooming the youngins for adult life, and the one who finally gets sick of miss goody-to-shoes Tracy. He can’t stand that Tracy is running unopposed for President and decides that she needs to lose, and who better to lose against than Mr. Popularity – Paul Metzler (Chris Klein). So, teacher Jim convinces Paul to run, and all is well until Paul ends up with his sister’s girlfriend (or wishes she was her girlfriend), so Tammy Metzler (Jessica Campbell) figures she can get back at Paul by running for President too.

Sounds a little confusing, huh? Well, it’s not, and throw in some comical sidelines of teacher Jim’s screwed-up life at home and you get an adult comedy that won’t be seen by many people because it’s kinda artsy, kinda stuck in only a few theaters, but had me laughing and really enjoying the performance by Reese (her ability to switch facial expressions from concerned to cheery to totally pissed-off to pleased to a vindictive bitch is most excellent), by Broderick (he’s so much better playing the confused character rather than the hero), and by Campbell (she’s great as the lesbian high-schooler who is the loner yet finds her place should really be at the catholic school for girls and does everything she can to get there). A lot of dry humor, some out-right laugher spots, and a twisted look at how lives can become unmanageable in just one day.

Leave the kids at home for this one, it’s definitely for the older crowd able to reflect back on their own twisted high school lives. Too adult and you might be offended, too young and you might not be able to relate yet.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Election.” It made me laugh, made a lot of the audience laugh, and the two ladies leaving the theater next to me said it was pretty good, too.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eight Crazy Nights

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:16 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eight Crazy Nights
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Voices of Adam Sandler, Jackie Titone, Austin Stout, Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: It’s not a kiddie cartoon.
Date Movie: It’s not a date cartoon.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got a three-boobed woman.
Gratuitous Violence: Wedgies and tumbling in a port-a-potty.
Action: None.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: The holiday banquet was very disturbing.
Memorable Quote: Whitey’s sister: “Whitey, they were giving lobster bibs in the bathroom!”
Directed By: Seth Kearsley

Adam Sandler had a chance to make a Holiday classic. Alright, maybe not a classic, but at least a nice movie you could watch with the kids. Instead he made “Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.”

How’s this for a nice holiday story. Davey is in his early thirties. He’s the town drunk, causing havoc for anyone in a good mood, especially during the holidays. In front of the judge again, well, the judge is ready to throw the book at him except an old man, Whitey, stands up and wants to take Davey under his wing, hoping to bring Davey back to the good side of society. The judge agrees, so now Davey is an assistant referee to Whitey for the youth leagues. There was something in his past that made Davey the way he is. Whitey knows it, the old love of his life Jennifer knows it, only Davey can’t face his past to get to his future. With the help of Whitey, Davey eventually comes to terms with his past, and in the process helps Whitey to realize the love the townsfolk have for him.

It’s a nice premise, could be sort of nice for the entire family, except Sandler and his writers turn to crap to try to make a nice story funny. And I literally mean crap, as in once scene where Davey finds it funny to dump Whitey over in a port-a-potty, Whitey emerging covered in crap, Davey hosing Whitey down turning him into a crap-sicle, and then having deer lick the crap off of Whitey. And, oh yea, the movie also has a three-boobed woman.

This movie is rated PG-13 and it’s not because Sandler and friends made it funny with poop and sex jokes. It’s because Sandler and friends made it un-funny with poop and sex jokes, and this makes me somewhat sad because Sandler could have either a) made a decent gross-out cartoon or b) dropped his name from the marquee (therefore not scaring away some parents from bringing their kids), dropped the poop and sex jokes, and made a holiday cartoon that could have been rated PG, or even G, that the entire family could enjoy. Then, of course, Sandler could have used real people in this movie, instead of it being a cartoon, and it probably would have been funnier because real people are involved. The potential was there for either, instead they made a nice story into crap.

I generally like Adam Sandler style humor, but this movie just lost it on too many levels. It’s 1 ½ star out of 5 for “Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.” And, oh yea, the movie opens with a movie short called “A Day With Meatball,” an unfunny movie about a dog.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eagle Eye

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:57 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eagle Eye
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Michael Chiklis, Billy Bob Thornton
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Home Entertainment
Release Date: 2008
Kiddie Movie: It might make them never use their cell phone again.
Date Movie: She might cuddle with you for comfort or just roll her eyes.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: There’s a lot of people who die, but you don’t see it.
Action: There’s a lot of people who die, but you don’t see it.
Laughs: Only for the absurdity of some of the scenes.
Memorable Scene: Who knew Morse Code could save the world.
Memorable Quote: “We’re already in mid-shitstorm.”
Directed By: D.J. Caruso

While watching “Eagle Eye” I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a day, a few years ago, when a group of friends were getting liquored up, watching a bunch of movies, namely “I, Robot,” “War Games,” “The Italian Job,” and maybe even “Enemy of the State,” and said to each other, in an altered state, “Dudes, we could make a movie combining all of these,” and then, you know what, they did. I would toss in “Live Free or Die Hard,” only I believe that movie was probably already in development by the time “Eagle Eye” was being drafted, but hey, you can’t say that the “Eagle Eye” tunnel scene isn’t reminiscent of the “Live Free or Die Hard” tunnel scene, just substitute a helicopter for a military drone aircraft?

Okay, maybe the premise for the story of “Eagle Eye” wasn’t developed in my fictional universe, but it does takes a lot of premises from a bunch of different movies, with the end result that computers really only do what they are programmed to do. “I, Robot” had the three rules for robots; “Eagle Eye” has the Preamble and Constitution. In the end computers just want to be our friends, and look out for us.

In terms of story, for this one you get Jerry (Shia LaBeouf) and Rachel (Michelle Monaghan). They are ordinary people, in fairly ordinary lives, and then, somehow, their lives become intertwined by the voice of a woman who seems to need them to carry out some dastardly deed. The voice dictates to Jerry instructions that get him in a jam with the FBI and then helps him escape from the FBI, while the voice also turns Rachel into a distraught mother with the fear of her son being killed, thus dictating her actions. And as the movie goes along, Jerry and Rachel can’t seem to figure out how this voice seems to be able to control just about every technological part of their lives, from subway trains to street lights, from junkyard robots to power grids, and in the middle of it all, we start to see a plot developing, which we must suppose is some dastardly terrorist plot, but, ahh, other things are at work here.

And you know what, I’m not going to directly give away what is directly at work here, although I sort of already hinted at it, only to say that most every aspect of this movie is unbelievable in our world, yet somehow believable if the “ringleader” of this story turns out to be who she is.

So, here we go. If you want to totally escape reality, “Eagle Eye” should take you there, or maybe freak you out as to what might be possible in a few years. The weird thing is that I kind of liked it, in the same way I liked the movie “I, Robot,” and loved Morgan (Billy Bob Thornton) as the FBI guy who is flustered by technology. There are a lot of things blowing up, you might wonder if someone can really change stoplights at will, who knew that the baggage handling of an area could be so much fun if you aren’t being shot at, and if you live near some electric towers, you might think about moving.

As a Chicago person, in a little aside for this review, in the theater I was unsure if I saw it, but thanks to the DVD and slow-motion, at the beginning of the movie there is a helicopter shot of the Chicago El, St. James Catholic Church in Chicago (where I used to go to mass sometimes when I was in college), and Keating Hall, the “sports center” where I used to do a killer can-opener of the high-dive board in the pool at Illinois Institute of Technology, where, yes, I went to college, and also where all of this reviewing stuff began for me. I know it’s dorky, but for me it’s always cool to see things I am totally familiar with in a movie.

Anyway, “Eagle Eye” is an action-filled movie with tons of seemingly implausible scenarios, but get the DVD realizing this and you should have a good time on your couch, and sure, you might laugh when some things happen, but hey, that’s what movies are sometimes about. And as hard as this might be hard to believe, I was almost ready to give this movie a 4 star rating, until, in Hollywood fashion, the poignant ending I envisioned was changed into a feel-good ending, so I’m dropping it ½ star to 3 ½ stars out of 5 because someone else in this movie should be dead. With that, I was hoping, when watching the DVD, that the alternate ending it contained would be the one I was hoping for, but all it really did was sort of set up a sequel. Blah.

And speaking of the DVD, for the movie-geek crowd, the 2-disc version does have quite a few extras that are interesting if you love seeing how movies are made, especially mixing in seeing behind-the-scene things on location, a nicely detailed “Making of…” features, and a feature with the Director of Eagle Eye, D.J. Caruso, having a discussion with John Badham, the director of “War Games,” with how the movies are similar, yet different. I always love a fun gag-reel and the 2-disc version has it, and as usual, we can see (and be happy) that some scenes were deleted. You also get commentary stuff, if you want it, more scary stuff about your cell phone, and I’m just sad they didn’t have an “On Location…” for Chicago. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to like looking at my old church from above.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eye of the Beholder

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:45 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eye of the Beholder
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ashley Judd, Ewan McGregor, k.d. lang
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Destination Films
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: No way.
Date Movie: She might get a little scared, or might thing you’re a stalker.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s some.
Gratuitous Violence: Some quality kills.
Action: Not too much on the action side.
Laughs: Only at things that didn’t make sense.
Memorable Scene: Ashley Judd (Joanna) stabbing a dude.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Stephen Elliott

There are many ways to go for realism in a film. Sometimes you try to get shootings to look real. Sometimes you try to get acting to seem real. And sometimes you try to get scenery to look real. Now this might not make sense to anyone who hasn’t seen a Chicago police car, but I just had to chuckle as I was watching “Eye of the Beholder” when The Eye (yea, no name really, just “The Eye”) (Ewan McGregor) and Joanna (Ashley Judd) ended up in Chicago. Other than the fact that there aren’t many cobblestone streets, who told the filmmakers that the police cars had red stripes on them? I saw the Chicago rollers and there they were, painted in red instead of the blue that every person who has seen any other movie with Chicago coppers, from a film like “The Blues Brothers” to “The Fugitive,” would know. It was at this point that “Eye of the Beholder” just took a downturn from “Ehh” to “wait for cable.”

So, in “Eye of the Beholder” you have The Eye, a spy dude with a couple of screws loose because he lost his daughter who is, well, spying, on Joanna and her latest conquest. She’s not playing with a full deck either as she sort of has the black widow thing going. You know, using men for their love (and money) and then killing them. Well, after seeing Joanna and hearing voices from his lost daughter, The Eye basically bails on his spy career and turns into a stalker, trailing Joanna across the continental United States and ending up in Alaska. We get to see The Eye using his high-tech spy things to catch her words, her actions, her falling in love, and her finally seeming to have a happy life with a blind dude until The Eye messes that up. But he thinks that he is meant for her, she doesn’t really know him until it’s too late, and, well, the movie doesn’t have a happy ending except to have you going “That’s it?” At least that’s what the lady in back of me said as the credits started to roll.

There were lots of problems with “Eye of the Beholder” and none of them had to do with the acting of McGregor nor Judd. McGregor is in a roll right after the Star Wars flick, maybe so he doesn’t fall into the “Mark Hamill Syndrome.” He’s a good enough actor, playing the messed in the head spy who can’t help but try to help Joanna, but the role is stuck in a story that really ends up making little sense. Ashley Judd, still one of my favoritist actresses lately, is great as the disturbed man-killer, really just looking for someone to love her and not see her for what she is, and does her role well. But the problem comes in the story, especially on the The Eye side. Yea, he’s great at being a detective, but he’s a little, as my mom might nicely say, loony. His co-workers know this, but they don’t do anything except maybe enable him. And when he finally snaps, well, even with all the spy gear and the spy agency he works for, well, they can’t find him, which I find odd because he always wears the dingy red coat and looks disheveled. At first he seemed like a great spy, but by the end he just made me laugh, especially with his shrine of snow-globes, and his final inability to tell Joanna just who he is.

So, McGregor was good and Ashley, I’m happy to say, is a great actress with a great body and isn’t afraid to show it. But the rest of the movie, well, it was good until you realize that The Eye is basically a stalker with cool spy shit.

So, as I checked my watch during the movie I was deciding to give “Eye of the Beholder” 2 ½ stars, then came the Chicago roller’s blunder and I just can’t handle that. At least get the color right. As much as McGregor was good, as much as Judd was good (and she got naked too), I just couldn’t get over the red coloring on the Chicago cop cars and the story just seemed really dumb after that. I really hate giving this rating for an Ashley Judd movie, but it’s 1 ½ stars for “Eye of the Beholder.” It was a movie with a lot, and I mean a lot of potential, but at least give me a little bit of realism, or at least find out what color the cop cars are.

That’s it for this one. I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Evolution

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Evolution
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Orlando Jones, Seann William Scott
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks SKG
Release Date: 2001
Kiddie Movie: Some of it is pretty intense. Keep the kids older.
Date Movie: She’ll probably chuckle like you’ll chuckle.
Gratuitous Sex: Talked about but nothing on screen.
Gratuitous Violence: Alien bugs get shot.
Action: Alien bugs get chased.
Laughs: What you will expect.
Memorable Scene: Our boys chasing the flying alien in the mall.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Ivan Reitman

You know, as stupidly funny as “Evolution” was, I know it is one of those movies that when it shows up on cable I’ll watch it over and over again. Such is the genius of Ivan Reitman – his films never come off as movie masterpieces, but they are movies you will watch over and over again because they are what they are – fun movies.

“Evolution” gives us David Duchovny as Ira. He’s a professor at a community college in Arizona. So is Harry (Orlando Jones), but Harry has the slightly better gig also coaching the girls volleyball team. Then you’ve got Wayne (Seann William Scott) – he’s a firefighter wannabe practicing out in the dessert one night when a meteor totals his car. Harry gets called to the scene because he is a geologist and he brings along Ira for the ride. They sense something might be up from the get-go because, well, the meteor is oozing liquid. Harry and Ira collect some samples and it’s back to the lab.

Well, back in the lab Ira discovers something – there are living things in that ooze and they are evolving way to quickly for this world. A quick visit back to the meteor site and it’s clear they will either be on their way to claiming the Nobel Peace Prize or something bad is coming. Meanwhile, without our heroes’ knowledge, the government steps in to contain the meteor site and they want nothing to do with Ira and Harry. Eventually they befriend Allison (Julianne Moore). She’s working with the feds in studying the site and also has the hots for Ira but just doesn’t show it.

Well, the government people have no clue what they’re in for, Harry and Ira show Allison what is coming, Wayne gets hooked up with our boys and girl because he has caught one of the aliens, and it’s up to our foursome to save the world. Yes, you can guess it, they do.

Lots of people are making comparisons of “Evolution” to “Ghostbusters” and sure, there are similarities, but who really cares. “Evolution” gives us one of the next great movie comics in Orlando Jones, Duchovny shows he has a witty style of humor that can take him past his “X-Files” days, and Julianne Moore, well, she’s Julianne Moore. And, oh yea, he may never get past the dopey dude moniker, but Seann William Scott is perfect as the dopey dude. And let’s not forget the special effects for the aliens. They fly, they crawl, the look like cute blobs that will take your hand off, and they take us a lot farther than the ghosts did in the ghost movies.

Ivan Reitman has a great touch at developing lovable, dopey characters and maybe that’s why a movie like “Evolution” will, in the end, be one of those movies you will keep watching for the hundredth time when it lands on cable. It may not be the movie masterpiece you are looking for this summer, but “Evolution” is exactly what you probably will expect from it – a cute movie to chuckle along with. It’s 3 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Elf

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Elf
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Edward Asner, Bob Newhart, Mary Steenburgen, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: New Line Cinema
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: Bring everyone along.
Date Movie: Bring her along, too!
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Buddy the Elf beating up the fake Santa.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots of them.
Memorable Scene: Buddy the Elf beating up the fake Santa.
Memorable Quote: Too many to list.
Directed By: Jon Fabreau

Here’s my advice to Will Farrell, and take it for what it’s worth: Please don’t try to play a dramatic actor. Your niche is comedy, and you are great at it, and you are quickly showing that any branch of comedy can be yours. Please don’t set yourself up for a fall playing a dramatic role, no matter what the folks say. Anyway, on to Elf…

It seems that on one of his Christmas runs Santa picked up a wayward baby from an orphanage. Not really knowing what to do, Santa kept the baby for his own. Alright, not really his own, but Santa decided he should be raised as an elf. And so we get Buddy (Will Farrell), a little oversized for the miniature world of Santa’s helpers. And yes, he didn’t really figure out something was different about him until one day his surrogate dad, Bob Newhart (In a fabulous role I must say), had to break the news that true, Buddy was not an elf, and yes, his father was in New York City and on the naughty person list.

So Buddy is off to NYC to find his father and bring a little Christmas cheer to the folks in the big city. Now yes, you have to suspend a lot of disbelief that things are happening, but then again, it is a story about Santa and his elves. In NYC, Buddy does find his dad, and dad is a not-so-great man. Turns out he is a children’s book publisher, and not an honest one at that.

And so Buddy is welcomed into Dad’s home, mom accepts this thirty year old dude in tights, and Buddy quickly becomes best friends with his half-brother when he shows off his snow-ball skills.

But is the story cute for kids? I thought so, especially since most of the kids in the audience seemed to be having as good a time at the film as I was. They got the potty humor, the love story wasn’t that sappy, and in the end we get the cliché ending we are totally expecting.

Elf works for two reasons. One we get just a nice little Christmas story about a naive elf finding himself in the big city trying to spread Christmas cheer. Two, we get a perfectly cast movie. Edward Asner as Santa is terrific. He’s in a predicament with Buddy and works that out. He has problems with his sleigh and works that out, and in the end is the embodiment of Christmas. James Caan as the dad is great, too, at first just working to make a buck for the company, but then realizing family is just as important. Zooey Deschanel as the love interest is innocent enough, and Mary Steenburgen as mom actually comes off as believable letting buddy into their home. But the two standouts for me were Bob Newhart in a perfectly cast role, as the head elf, in charge of being buddy’s dad yet having to break him the bad news. The other standout is Farrell. He comes off as the innocent one in a movie that could have him as just a dufus, and his scene when he confronts the “fake Santa” at the store (Artie Lange from the Howard Stern Show) is just fabulous.

Elf seemed to be enjoyed by most of everyone in the theater when I was there, although one joke did seem to go over most people’s heads, the one about the baby asparagus being self conscious because their pee smelled (am I the only one familiar with asparagus pee?). Maybe not for the really young one, but I think Elf is pretty great for the whole family.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for Elf.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Brave

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Brave
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: The voices of: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Craig Berguson
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Disney / Pixar
Release Date: November 13, 2012
Kiddie Movie: Most definitely, especially the girls.
Date Movie: Good for snuggling with your honey, or for some quality family time.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s Disney/Pixar – come on.
Gratuitous Violence: Cartoon-style.
Action: Some chasing and a little scariness.
Laughs: The triplets are very mischievous.
Memorable Scene: I liked when we found out what happened to the triplets when they at the magic cake.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stands out.
Directed By: Mark Andres, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell
Cool things about the Blu-ray: The Ultimate Collector’s Edition has tons of extras, some techinical, some related to story-telling, and some related to the look of the movie. There is also the 3-D version of the Blu-ray, an extra disc of Blu-ray extras, a DVD version, and a Digital Copy for you to take on the go.

I know Pixar movies are generally good for the entire family, and sure, many a times they are more boy friendly than girl, but girls, you have now received your Pixar treatment, and it is great. Here’s the thing, though. Whereas many of the “boy friendly” movies end up with “objects” relating the stories of life, for example, “Cars,” “Toy Story,” and “Monsters Inc.,” for the girls we get “Brave,” a wonderful tale that the boys might enjoy but a mother and daughter should love together, and instead of something girly, say a flower patch or cute horses in the lead roles of the characters, for this one we go back to human characters, (Okay, there is a divergence into the lore of a bear, and a Momma Bear as it would be, but let’s move on,) yet maintaining that Pixar cartoony goodness.

Let’s get to the story.

We are in the Highland of Scotland, back at a time when bows and arrows, swords, and clubs were the weapons of choice and castles were the line of defense. Enter Merida, the daughter of King Fergus and Queen Elinor, and her three little, mischievous brothers. Merida is a free spirit, wanting to determine her own fate, but her Mom has her own beliefs on how Merida should live her life. So, while Merida is teaching herself to shoot arrows and ride horses, Elinor is trying her best to instill being the Princess Merida is supposed to be, and eventually take a husband from the other clans as is the custom and tradition. As the suitors line up and Merida begins to enter full rebellion mode, Mom is none too pleased, Merida and Elinor have a big fight, Merida thinks she has found a path to get her way thanks to a witch, and, of course, Merida learns a huge lesson that she should never trust a witch, especially when Merida herself is in the throws of anger.

As it goes, thanks to Merida’s desire to find her own destiny, we get to learn the full story of Mor’du the Bear who is responsible for Fergus having a peg leg, both Merida and Elinor get to learn about the bonds of mother and daughter, and as this is a Pixar/Disney movie, everyone lives happily ever after.

As a story goes, “Brave” is a nice little tale about the challenges a mother and daughter face, and how sometimes it takes both sides to bend a bit to see the love of the other. It’s also a Pixar film, and that means fun, which it has tons of. The animation is awesome, especially the detail that they are now able to do in terms of scenery, shading, color, and just making the movie look fantasticker than when we were blown away by “Toy Story,” so combine the great story and the great animation and we easily remember why, whenever there is a Pixar movie coming out, we are excited. Like I said before, however, this is a story really geared for the girls. I’m not saying the boys won’t like it as it does have lots of action and a fun brawl between the clans, but whereas the boys and dads could relate to the togetherness of “Cars,” there’s much more of a motherly love bond between Elinor and Merida and the mischievous boys are just that – mischievous. It’s a solid 4 stars out of 5 for “Brave.”

Now, as far as the Blu-ray offering the Ultimate Collector’s Edition gives you tons of extras to keep you learning new things for hours. Me, being the tech dork that I am, I wanted more of extras like “Wonder Moss” and “Brawl in the Hall,” two of the more technical extras, but if you want to know how the Pixar team researched all things Scotland, there are lots of featurettes like “Brave Old World” and “Merida & Elinor.” You also get looks into the various animals involved in the movie, explanations of some of the more mystical aspects to the film, a look at scenes that were shortened, changed, or eliminated, and your commentary-type stuff. And as this is a Pixar movie, there is a cute little short called “La Luna” about how the moon changes shape, and a longer look at “The Legend of Mor’du,” the bear that eventually brings the movie full-circle.

Tons of extras, a 3-D Blu-ray if you’ve got the TV for it, a Digital Copy so the kids can take it on-the-go, and the “Ultimate Collector’s Edition” shows how a nicely packaged Blu-ray can be well worth the extras instead of just throwing useless things in the set just for the sake of being there.

All in all a lot of fun with a lot of the extras you would expect and the “Brave” set is another feather in the cap of the Pixar legacy.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!