Tag: movie reviews

Domino

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:07 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Domino
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Keira Knightley, Lucy Liu, Christopher Walken, Mena Suvari, Mickey Rourke, Jacqueline Bisset, Delroy Lindo
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: New Line Cinema
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want your little girl to be a bounty hunter.
Date Movie: If she likes some violence.
Gratuitous Sex: Keira gets naked. It’s kinda artsy, but I’m liking her mosquito bites.
It’s rated R and about bounty hunters, what do you think?
Gratuitous Violence: It’s rated R and about bounty hunters, what do you think?
Action: Not really, although you would think there would be.
Laughs: Some pretty good lines.
Memorable Scene: The “Mix-ed Race” Flowchart at the Jerry Springer Show.
Memorable Quote: “He hasn’t aged well.”
Directed By: Tony Scott

I know it’s sometimes a tough call for moviemakers: Do you take what can be a pretty good action movie and just let it be an action movie, or do you try to make it more artsy, with more symbolism and tricky camera-work, than just people kicking ass? For “Domino,” they opted for the latter, and as much as I could appreciate it, I could have probably appreciated it even more if the story wasn’t so convoluted. I’ll try to give you just enough without giving too much away…

“Domino,” as the opening credits state, is “a movie based on a true story, sort of.” Pretty much Domino Harvey was the daughter of a Hollywood screen star, her father, who died when she was a young girl. That much is true. The movie says that mom tried to stay tight in the Hollywood circles, that Domino was a model and in a sorority, but I can’t confirm any of that. Domino Harvey became a bounty hunter in the movie. That much is true. Then there is the rest of the movie which starts as a story that seems believable, up until the armored car heist.

Alright, as the movie gives us, we see Domino (Keira Knightley) being interrogated by the FBI, agent Taryn (Lucy Liu). Taryn is trying to get the story of what happened to the money in the armored car. From this point it is a series of flashbacks as the “sort of” stuff really starts to take shape. We see Domino shuttled to boarding school, break a nose in a sorority house, dressing kinda slutty, and hooking up with Ed (Mickey Rourke) and his partner Choco (Edgar Ramirez), thus her transformation into being a bounty hunter. Domino is hot, can kick some ass, and there’s some sexual tension between her and Choco. The story is pretty simply, Domino, Ed, and Choco, go about their bounty hunting business, but then get approached by a reality TV producer, Mark (Christopher Walken). He convinces our trio that they should be on a reality TV show about their work as bounty hunters, and they agree.

But there is a problem in bounty hunter land, namely that their major employer, Bail Bondsman Claremont Williams (Delroy Lindo), has cooked up a scheme to get $300,000 for one of his women, Lateesha (Mo’Nique), who needs the money for a lifesaving surgery for her granddaughter. Oddly enough, now the mob, a casino owner, the FBI, and dozens of other are involved, and the story turns from kinda fun and serious, to just a convoluted mess, which I probably could have gone along with if the movie was just normal action fare, but with it trying to be artsy and with a message, I just got tired of following it all especially when some people who are supposed to be dead really aren’t, there had to be an easier way to get into that freezer, and the poor throw money into the air only to see some of it blow away.

Look, I loved the characters. Keira, Mickey, Edgar, and damn just about everyone else were fabulous in all of their roles. Even Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green were great at playing themselves. And damn, Keira even gets naked. But the story, especially as it played out, wasn’t an artsy story at the end, it was an action story and I think should have been treated as such, kinda a “Lethal Weapon” but much darker. Convoluted stories generally work when we aren’t trying to take the movie too seriously, but “Domino” was set up as a serious movie, and a convoluted plot development just falls apart.

In the end, I really wanted to like “Domino,” but just couldn’t, even with the blatant nudity and gratuitous violence. It’s 3 stars out of 5 for “Domino.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on Right!! L8R!!!

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:57 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn, Ashley Judd, Maggie Smith, James Garner, Fionnula Flanagan, Shirley Knight, Angus Macfadyen
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: It’s an adult story, and gets a little hairy at times. Leave them home.
Date Movie: She’ll make you go along.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah, but Sandra gets in her undies and Ashley has a nice nightgown.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few one-liners.
Memorable Scene: The beginning scenes where Vivi develops her desire to disown Sidda.
Memorable Quote: Too many to list.
Directed By: Callie Khouri

Alright, go ahead and slap a dress on me. Why? Because I must be a girl because I really liked “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.” Yes, it’s a chick flick; Yes, of an audience of about 60 people there were maybe six guys; And yes, the group of blue-hairs that got there before me, getting the good seats, thought the movie was “incredible” and “enjoyable.” And if you ever got a kick of listening to older ladies bickering amongst themselves, or even younger ladies doing the same, yet knowing they are the best of friends, you will probably like this movie, too.

I’ll try to give the synopsis without giving too much away…

It’s the late 1930’s and a group of four girls go into the woods, forming the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. They seal it with blood. As the years go on, these four girls remain the best of friends, doing whatever it takes to help each other. Now it’s the present day and Sidda (Sandra Bullock), the daughter of Vivi (older as Ellen Burstyn, younger as Ashley Judd, and still younger as Caitlin Wachs), has given an interview to Time magazine, basically portraying her mother as an obnoxious mother who drank too much. Vivi doesn’t take it well, Sidda is more like her mother than she wants to admit, and it’s up to the other three Ya-Yas to get Sidda and Vivi back together.

So the other three Ya-Yas, Teensy (Fionnula Flanagan), Necie (Shirley Knight), and Caro (Maggie Smith), head to New York to kidnap Sidda, actually using the date-rape drug, even enlisting the help of Sidda’s fiancé, Connor (Angus Macfadyen), and bring Sidda back to Louisiana. Their plan: Let Sidda see that her mother isn’t such a bad person by making her look through the Ya-Ya scrapbook, aptly titled “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood”, and listen to stories of the four of them growing up (shown as flashbacks utilizing the always gorgeous Ashley Judd as the twenty to thirty something Vivi). Meanwhile the three of them also work on Vivi to show her why Sidda sees her the way she does. Maybe this insight will help Sidda forgive her mother, help Vivi see why Sidda feels the way she does, and then they’ll be the best of friends. Let’s toss in James Garner as Shep, Vivi’s husband who took the marriage oath and is standing by it no matter how much of a loony his wife tends to be. And that’s enough of the story.

What works in “Ya-Ya” are the likes of Flanagan, Knight, Smith, and Burstyn, as well as Sandra Bullock playing the daughter whose underlying fear is she doesn’t want to end up as her perception of her mother. The problem is that the daughter doesn’t always know the whole story, or sometimes doesn’t want to believe it, and it takes friends to put things in perspective. The four ladies show what it is like to be friends forever, fighting and bickering amongst themselves yet ready to help each other at the drop of a hat. You’ve also got the daughter showing how we, as children and grown-ups, want to know how our parents lived before they were parents, but in the end are we ready to know the real lives of our mom and dad?

The movie just cracked me up because although I don’t know four older ladies as devoted to each other as the Ya-Yas, I’ve seen my fair share of older ladies goading each other, and hell, I’ve seen my share of younger ladies doing the same. Yet in there is a bond that can’t be broken. Dudes have that bond, dudettes have that bond, and sometimes that bond exists between the sexes, but in the end it’s always good to have friends.

Flanagan, Knight, Smith and Burstyn were fabulous. Bullock is always one of my favorites, and Ashley Judd does a great job portraying the younger Vivi who, try as she might, doesn’t know if she’s being a good mom or not. Macfadyen as Connor ads that “fiancé just trying to get mother and daughter back together” role, and Garner plays that “husband who just excepts things as they are because he will always love his wife” role perfectly.

So, yes, I really liked “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood,” and I’m one enough with my manly self to even admit it. Hell, Bullock and Judd even kept their clothes on and I still liked this movie and that’s got to say something (although you do get a nice shot of Sandra in her underwear and Judd in an almost see-through nightgown). Yes, it is overblown and unrealistic in many aspects, but takes things to a level it is humorous. Granted, if you’re a beer-drinking, pizza-eating kind of guy, you probably won’t be caught dead in the theater for this movie, but if you ever got a kick of your grandma and her friends telling stories, you might just enjoy it. In the end it’s 4 stars out of 5 for this one. Sure, it gets a little cookie-cutter by the time the movie finishes, but it’s still fun.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Disturbing Behavior

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:24 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Disturbing Behavior
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: James Marsden, Katie Holmes, Nick Stahl, Chad E. Donella
]
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: MGM Pictures
Release Date: 1998
Kiddie Movie: Not at all.
Date Movie: She might jump in your lap.
Gratuitous Sex: Implied oral homage and a quick tit-shot until the chick goes psycho.
Gratuitous Violence: Some pretty brutal beatings.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Lots of one-liners that fit the scenes perfectly (see quotes below).
Memorable Scene: A few: Gavin and U.V. explaining to Steve the various cliques at school, the dude getting the hummer, Steve and Rachel cruising the mental hospital, and the dude getting his nose-ring taken out the hard way.
Memorable Quote: A few:
– Gavin’s parents reason for making him a “Blue Ribbon”: “He’s spending too much time listening to rock-n-roll music and masturbating.”
– Steve tells Dr. Caldicott “Oh shut the fuck up.” (The timing was perfect)
– U.V. to Steve “What’s the capitol of North Dakota?” Steve replies “How the fuck should I know.” (Again, prefect timing.)
Directed By: David Nutter

You’ve got to love a movie that opens with the scene of a dude getting a hummer but then deciding that, well, he should be “retaining his fluids” for the big game, so he snaps the girl’s neck and calls her a slut. Such was the opening of “Disturbing Behavior,” and if you think that is a violent end to some oral gratification then you might also appreciate a dude getting his nose-ring taken out the hard way. Yep, “Disturbing Behavior” gives us a bunch of do-good high-schoolers who sometimes have a mean side.

Alrighty, here’s the story in an elongated nutshell. Our hero is Steve (James Marsden). He is up-rooted from his exciting life in Chicago after his brother kills himself, and his parents drag him and his sister to Cradle Bay, a lovely, picturesque, supposedly small town. So he’s new in school and a few stoners, Gavin (Nick Stahl), U.V. (Chad E. Donella), and Rachel (Katie Holmes), befriend him, explaining to him the cliques of the school. Gavin also tries to explain to Steve that the “Blue Ribbons,” a high school clique of too-smart jocks and cheerleader types, are possessed or something. Well, Gavin becomes possessed before he can figure out what’s up, so it is up to our hero Steve, and the love-interest Rachel, to figure it out. Guess what – they do, almost too directly for their own good. Now they’re on the run, but how do you save yourself from a bunch of do-gooders with bad attitudes? Well, you get lucky that your janitor (William Sadler) isn’t as dumb as he seems, as well as pretty creative with some electronics and an el-Camino (I’m pretty sure that was his ride, but I could be wrong). Yay! Our heroes are safe, or are they (sorry, but the movie screamed “sequel” from the beginning)?

The story sounds simple, and sure, it probably is, but “Disturbing Behavior” is a decent movie. I won’t say it is a masterpiece of a thriller, in fact as you’re watching the movie there aren’t many surprises, but I did like it. Gavin and U.V. are pretty right-on in their stoner roles, Rachel is a great rebellious chick but with a caring side, and in all honesty, for me, the only person who seemed out of place a little was Steve – since when does the pretty boy who is shy, in high school, hang out with the stoners? Alright, I’ll give him that his brother killed himself, he’s in the new school, and coming in a loner, but I just couldn’t picture him hanging with Gavin and U.V. I’m guessing he just hung out with them because Rachel was Gavin’s friend. Alright, enough about Steve’s love life.

“Disturbing Behavior” gives you a decent movie for your buck. You’ve got a little suspense, some violence, a little sex, some laughs, and some truly fucked-up teenagers. That’s a pretty good mix. So, without going into it any more and boring you, I’ll give “Disturbing Behavior” 3 stars out of 5. It’s worth the price of admission, maybe a little more worth a matinee, but a fun way to spend an hour and a half.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Devil’s Own

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:41 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Devil’s Own
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Harrison Ford, Brad Pitt
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Release Date: 1997
Kiddie Movie: Not really. There’s no sex, but lots of gunfire and the story might get them bored.
Date Movie: Sure. Guys can talk about the kills and the girls can talk about how cute Brad Pitt is.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of quality kills, especially at the beginning.
Action: Some suspense moments, but no real car chases.
Laughs: A couple placed nicely.
Memorable Scene: Everyone but Brad and his buddy getting blown away in the big gunfight at the beginning of the movie.
Memorable Quote: When Brad comes in to Harrison’s house, Harrison Ford says “It’s good to have someone here that pees standing up.”
Directed By: Alan J Pakula

I’m was kinda worried going in to see “The Devil’s Own.” Yep, this was the movie where it seemed every entertainment show on TV and the entertainment magazines were having stories about the troubles on the set. Brad Pitt said this, Harrison Ford was having problems on the set, the story keeps changing, Sony’s suing Brad, Harrison’s pissed; you name it, it seems someone said it, and people had this movie doomed before the trailers even hit the theater. Then I saw the trailer and thought to myself that it sure doesn’t look that bad – maybe they all pulled it together and two of Hollywood’s premier actors made nice and made a great movie. Well, I don’t know if they made nice or not, but I do know they made a good movie – not great, but good none the less.

In its simplest term “The Devil’s Own” is about an Irish Republican Army dude, played by Brad Pitt, coming to America to score some cool weapons, in this case some stinger missiles. Harrison Ford meanwhile is playing an Irish cop on the streets of New York who has only shot his gun four times in his 23ish years on the force. He’s got his own problems with his partner, and the last thing he really needs is a criminal staying in his house, but he gets duped by an IRA supporting judge to let Pitt stay in his house, and in the end it turns into a clash between a cop and a criminal. Not always liking deep and meaningful story lines, I personally think they should have left the story at that – let’s have some quality kills, good guys versus bad guys, and maybe blow up some stuff. But no, they gave this film a meaning and maybe for some people that’s what they liked about it, but for me, it made the film a little slow at times.

So, where do all of these meanings and lessons to be learned come in? Well, it seems Frankie, the IRA dude played by Pitt, got to see his dad gunned down when he was a little boy. This turns him into one of the most wanted IRA members in the old country. You’ve got little Frankie growing up without a dad, becoming a great killer supporting his cause, and low and behold, you place Frankie, who has probably shot as many people as Rambo, in a house where dad’s got three daughters and his wife. Yep, you get the feeling dad, played by Harrison, always wanted a son, and now he’s got one, too bad for him it’s Frankie. Well, not to ruin a lot of things because the story does have some surprises, but some of the overblown messages permeating this movie for me were ones like – we can’t understand the fighting in Ireland because we’re not a part of it; if you’ve got a gun you should shoot people with it; even the best of cops are crooked; and people in Ireland don’t eat corned beef and cabbage.

Now I know that this movie wasn’t supposed to be just another action movie, it was supposed to teach us something, but I think the social messages were overblown for my tastes. Sure, put them in the movie, but don’t ram shove them down my throat with a plunger.

Now, getting past all of that stuff, “The Devil’s Own” is still a pretty decent movie played by two of the best actors out there. Harrison Ford plays the “torn between the good guy and bad guy” role perfectly. He comes off as the perfect family man, a great cop who has dedicated his life to protecting and serving rather than blowing away the bad guys, and just being an all around good guy. Brad Pitt, in total contrast, is the consummate bad guy, able to shoot anyone at the slightest sign of danger, able to ram his now good friend Harrison’s head into a window, and hell bent on getting those stinger missiles. Viscous and brutal meets Mr. Nice Guy – it’s a great plan but just sometimes drags a little.

You’ve got some action, some surprises, but some spots slow the movie to a crawl. If you like a movie that preaches more than it teaches, “The Devil’s Own” will be for you. If you’re looking for an action movie like the adds seem to show you might be a little disappointed.

It’s 2 1/2 stars out of 5 from me and that’s it for this one. I’m The Dude on the Right, L8R!!

War Horse

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:26 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

War Horse
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jeremy Irvine, Peter Mullan, Emily Watson, David Thewlis, A Lot of Horses
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment
Release Date: April 3, 2012
Kiddie Movie: Not too young even if they like horses, most of the story revolves around WWI after all.
Date Movie: My wife liked it and snuggled. It’s a winner.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: You do get some war scenes that showed the brutalness of trench warfare.
Action: The horse runs a lot.
Laughs: A few chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The scene where Joey ends up entangled in barbed wire started brutal and ended beautifullly, and all I could kept thinking about during it was the song Belleau Wood” from Garth Brooks.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Steven Spielberg
Cool things about the Blu-ray: Lots of extras on how the film was made makes the combo pack a film-lover’s dream, especially since it skips the usually useless stuff like deleted scenes and a gag reel.

I was a little worried when my wife and I started watching “War Horse” because, after about the first five minutes, as they were setting up the relationship between Joey (the horse) and Albert (Jeremy Irvine), my wife turns to me and says sarcastically, “Oh, this is riveting.” I could tell she was bored, and there was over two hours of the movie left to go.  Thankfully things got much better.

“War Horse” takes us back to the early 1900’s, as World War I was about to break, horses were used to plow the fields, and you read books made out of paper by candlelight.  Young Albert sees a horse being born, and although not the greatest build of a work horse, there is a bond formed between Joey and Albert, much like most people would form to their pet dog, but the war is now here, and in those days horses were used for everything, from transporting troops and the wounded, to pulling the giant cannons, and the best horses were rounded up for use in the war. Joey was now gone, on his way to war, and Albert was sad.

So, we get the story of Joey, a horse that doesn’t look like the strongest but has the heart of a thousand horses and touches lots of life’s in many way.  We see Joey in battle, developing bond with a giant of a horse that most everyone thinks is stronger, helping a young girl discover life, yet all the while never forgetting Albert.

Okay, fine, “War Horse” is much more that that, as intertwined with the story of Joey is the family bond Albert has back home on the farm, a look at a young little girl and her grandfather, a glimpse of the brutality of trench warfare, and how an animal can make friends out of enemies, if only for a few minutes.  Yup, the “This is riveting” had turned into a wonderful story.

Wonderfully shot and what turns out to be a fantastic story, “War Horse” is the kind of movie that is probably better seen on the big screen to envelop you, but will do fine on your big screen, and will allow you to get weepy in the privacy of your own home (Yup, the ending is a tear-jerker in many ways).  So, get through the first five minutes of unrivetting-ness, and enjoy this 4 ½ our of 5 star movie in all of its horse splendor.

Now, Blu-ray wise, if you get the 4-disc combo pack, you get extras to keep you busy for hours, and if you have any interest in how an Academy Award winning Director constructs a movie, this is the combo pack for you. Among other features, you get “War Horse: The Journey Home” which gives you a round-table format of discussions about the film, the characters, and how things went from seeing a play and thinking it would make a great film to ending up on the big screen. Then there is “A Filmmaking Journey” which gives you a detailed look at Steven Spielberg’s creative process, while “Editing and Scoring” dictates how the film is put together. There isn’t the standard “Deleted Scenes” nor “Gag Reel,” which is probably better since generally those just add easy extras to a release, but if you ever just wanted to be that guy in the background of a shot, you get “An Extra’s Point of View,” a nice look at being, well, an extra on a film. Lastly, take the film with you because you also get the copy for your portable device. This combo pack is why you buy a combo pack.

A great story, a great film, and a worthwhile batch of extras when you buy the whole set, I am a little sad I didn’t see the movie on the gloriousness of the big screen, but snuggling on the couch and the both of you getting a little weepy with a great movie does have a niceness about it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!!

Dude, Where’s My Car?

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dude, Where’s My Car?
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Kristy Swanson, Jennifer Garner,
Marla Sokoloff, Fabio, Stuttering John
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Not too young, lots of pot, sex, and drinking talk.
Date Movie: If she’s got a twisted sense of humor.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk and girls in tight shirts.
Gratuitous Violence: Maybe just the “Super-Hot Giant Alien” blowing up.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I laughed a lot. Maybe I’ve just gone crazy.
Memorable Scene: Nothing totally stands out.
Memorable Quote: The little boy looking up the Super-Hot Giant Alien’s skirt to his dad: “I want to go on that ride, daddy!” which the dad replies “Me too!” and this exchange:
“A barn?”
“Is it red?”
“No.”
“Then it’s not a barn.”
Directed By: Danny Leiner

I think I’ve now finally secured it – I’m going to hell. Why? Because at 10:30 on Sunday morning, when I should have been at church, I was at one of the worst movies I have seen and I found myself enjoying it – “Dude, Where’s My Car?”

The story starts out simple, Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott) wake up not really knowing what happened the night before. They attribute this to being totally wasted and it’s easy to see how that could happen. So the movie begins with our duo trying to put back the pieces to what must have been a fabulous night, especially as they begin to find out some of the things that have happened, starting with Greg (Stuttering John Melendez), peeing in their plant. They meet up with Christie Boner (Kristy Swanson) who let one of our duo feel her up, they stumble into the nudie bar where they find they were the kings of the bar, and then things really get weird finding out that they were in charge of a suitcase full of money, gave a couple aliens a ride back to their spaceship, and played some pretty good miniature golf. And if you think that’s weird, it’s their day after, when they found out what happened the night before, that things really start taking twists and turns by adding the bubble-wrap people, the continuum transfunctioner, and the Super-Hot Giant Alien.

This is the kind of movie that most reviewers won’t give two cents worth of their time to watch, and you know what, I don’t blame them, but for some reason all of the lame, stupid, obvious, and childish jokes made me laugh. From the exchange of Jesse and Chester describing their tattoos, to the Chinese drive-in, to the Rubik’s Cube, to the bubble suits the space cult people were wearing, I laughed. Maybe sometimes I need mindless fun, and “Dude, Where’s My Car?” provided me and the four other people that blew off church in favor of a movie that simple pleasure.

I won’t take any more of your time with this review for this movie except to say if you go into this movie expecting what you think the trailers show, well, you’ll probably enjoy it a little. If you go to this movie thinking this will be one of the most thought-provoking comedies of all time, well, you’ll probably leave by the time the dog smokes his own one-hitter. I’m giving “Dude, Where’s My Car?” 3 stars out of 5. It’s stupid fun – expect that.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Sitter

MPAA Rated – Unrated
It’s 1:22 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Sitter
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jonah Hill, Ari Graynor, Landry Bender, Kevin Hernandez, Max Records, Sam Rockewell
MPAA Rated: Unrated Version
Released By: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
Release Date: March 20, 2012
Kiddie Movie: Definitely not. Send them to bed.
Date Movie: If she’s got a sick sense of humor. If she’s a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes she will think you are a pervert.
Gratuitous Sex: The movie opens with Noah giving oral homage to Marisa and explaining his technique, so I would say “Yes.”
Gratuitous Violence: Some gun play.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: It does have some funny moments, though mostly over the top.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: David Gordon Green
Cool things about the Blu-ray: Nothing reallly other than it looks good. The extras are pretty generic, and you get to see an alternate ending that would have sucked.

I have to say that my favorite babysitter movie of all time is “Adventures in Babysitting.” It was fun, it was a romp of kids through the mean streets of the city, it was slightly over the top at times, and it was fairly safe for kids even though it was rated PG-13.  After seeing “The Sitter” I have to say it didn’t eclipse “Adventures…” as my favorite babysitter movie, but it was mostly fun, it was a romp of kids through the main streets of the city, it was way, way, way over the top at times, but for the love of God, put the kids and teens to bed before you even think of watching this in front of them.  Then go ahead and have a laugh or two.

For “The Sitter” we get Jonah Hill as Noah, a slug living at home, looking for love, and good at oral sex.  We pretty much find all of this out in the first 5ish minutes of the film.  It seems like all he really wants in life is to have his divorced mom find a good man, get laid, and maybe be an astronomer.  As his life would have it, to facilitate his mom going on a date, Noah takes the gig of watching the neighbor’s kids comprised of the little girl, Blithe (Landry Bender), who likes to dress in beauty pageant clothes and just wants to go out clubbing, Slater (Max Records), who is having issues of keeping friends, and Rodrigo (Kevin Henrnadez), the adopted son of said family and a little terror. Of course the kids hate Noah, and of course Noah gets a call from his girlfriend want-a-be telling Noah he’ll get laid if he brings her some cocaine, so Noah is off in the family minivan, with kids in tow, in search of Karl (Sam Rockwell), the drug kingpin, and then to meet up with Marisa (Ari Graynor). And hilarity is supposed to ensue.

I say “supposed to” because although funny is some aspects, most of it just seems rehashed or telegraphed from a mile away.  And yes, here is the proverbial spoiler alert…  Do the kids try and run away? Rodrigo does. Is there some kid mayhem? Yup. Does Noah have to come up with money to pay back Karl so he doesn’t kill someone? You betcha. Will Noah and the kids end up in a bar none of them really belong in? What do you think?

Some of it is kind of funny, in a truly adult kind of way, but a lot of it just plods along until the eventual end of Noah with the right girl, and the kids loving their new babysitter.

Jonah Hill is well, Jonah Hill, I’m not really sure what is going on with the Marisa character, and go figure, kids just want to be understood.  Kinda funny, definitely not for anyone close to a kid’s age, and for me it’s 2 stars out of 5. Oh hell, make it 2 ½ for a “totally unnecessary to the plot” boob shot.

As far as the Blu-ray it’s got some standard fare that pretty much ends up just being filler, although I did watch the “Totally Irresponsible” unrated version and honestly can’t tell you what the difference was.  The rest of the extras are “Ehh.” The deleted scenes are pretty much better deleted, and the extended scenes would have made the movie drag a ton more. Some of the outtakes are kind of funny, but the “Gag Reel” really didn’t do much.  If you want there is a “Making of…” featurette which is fine and all, but really, you’re just getting the Blu-ray for raunchy fun.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Down to You

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:31 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Down to You
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Julia Stiles, Freddie Prinze Jr., Henry Winkler
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Miramax
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Not too young – a lot of sex talk.
Date Movie: Late teens and early 20’s – bring them along.
Gratuitous Sex: They’re doing it a lot, but nothing shown.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots of things to smile and grin at.
Memorable Scene: Al’s dream sequence on “The Man Show.”
Memorable Quote: Two: First you have Al’s buddy who just scored tell Al “She shoved her finger in my, you know.” Second, Imogen’s friend is smoking wacky weed, but beforehand she puts on a, what looks like a swim cap, because “it holds the smoke in your head, for like, a lot longer.”
Directed By: Kris Isacsson

There I sat, in the movie auditorium with about 800 seats, and between my fingers and toes I could count the number of people there to see “Down to You.” I didn’t even need to question if my thumbs should be counted as fingers because the end ratio of people there went something like this: Me, sitting by myself as usual; to the left of me, in the same row, three girls approximately ten to twelve years old; about six rows up from me was a group of four girls, I’d say mid-teens; about fifteen rows up from me were two girls, again mid-teens; and finally, a row in front of me to the left was the family contingent with mom, dad, and their two daughters. Enough about the audience, but seeing “Down to You” was more like being at a private screening than having to deal with a theater filled with annoying people. The movie.

Basically “Down to You” tells the story of two people who fall in love and realize it ain’t always that easy to make it work. You’ve got Freddie Prinze Jr. as Al, the not really knowing what he wants to do with his life but he think it will have to do with cooking, and then you’ve got Julia Stiles as Imogen, the now really knowing what she wants to do with her life but she thinks it will have to do with art. They’re in college, she’s a freshman, he’s a sophomore (I think – it really doesn’t matter except for the fact that it puts both of them drinking underage for a lot of the movie – ain’t college great!), and they fall in love. Al’s got a goofy family led by Henry Winkler as the host of a cooking show, and we never meet Imogen’s family. In any case, they meet, fall in love, have a lot of sex, she tests their love by going to France for the summer, she comes back, they have more sex, she thinks she might be pregnant, Al tries to do the right think but Imogen pushes him away, they question their relationship especially when he calls her a bitch and she calls him an old man, she cheats on him, he’s pissed, they break up, but it’s a love story so you know it can’t end that way, and they live happily ever after.

Alright, sure, I gave away a lot of the movie, but hey, it’s not as if you’re sitting there thinking this will be anything new in a love story, because, well, it isn’t. And that’s not saying the movie is that bad, it just isn’t that good, and it’s not because our lead characters don’t flash their googly-eye smiles at each other enough, but maybe it’s because the love story is so normal that it doesn’t hit any new ground. Weird friends, weird families, not knowing where your life is taking you, but the one thing I guess this movie does have is the happy ending because usually, especially after her cheating on him and moving away, well I think that would be the more natural ending than the happy one.

In any case the movie is alright but probably more as a rental and more for older teens. There’s lots of talk about sex although no one gets naked, and the jokes are kinda the crude variety. But after seeing too many serious or thinking movies I did enjoy “Down to You” more than I think I should have, but I still can’t get the rating higher than 2 1/2 stars out of 5. I like Julia Stiles. I think she’s got a good future in front of her and all the teenage girls are finding Freddie just dreamy. They both just needed a better story.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Double Jeopardy

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:45 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Double Jeopardy
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Ashley Judd, Annabeth Gish, 
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Violence, blood, and sex. I don’t think so.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: Ashely gets naked and romps in the sack before waking up in blood.
Gratuitous Violence: Blood and some shooting.
Action: There’s supposed to be some, but it’s pretty predictable.
Laughs: Quite a few lines.
Memorable Scene: Libby in jail.
Memorable Quote: Too many to write down.
Directed By: Bruce Beresford

“Double Jeopardy,” whether planned or not, contains as many movie clichés as I’ve seen all summer. There is the proverbial being covered in blood and holding the possible murder weapon as the cops, or in this case the Coast Guard, show up. There is the being trapped in a mausoleum with the door locked and then realizing, after everyone in the audience already figured out, that there is a window to break your way out of. There is the way-predictable ending of mom ending up with her son, and yea, her son recognizing her voice like the one inmate said he would. There is the walking chase scene through the packed streets of New Orleans, with our heroin carrying a red umbrella, and she loses the cops for just a second, and then low and behold they go after the wrong lady who is also carrying a red umbrella. There is the bachelor auction where the wife, who the husband thinks is still in prison, bids on him. And there is the best friend sleeping with the husband who is supposed to be dead. There are more clichés, oh, there are more, but I suppose I’ve given away plenty already. But you know what? All of these things are so telegraphed that they aren’t really a surprise, and even though you know these things are going to happen, well, “Double Jeopardy” was still a pretty entertaining movie.

Ashley Judd is Libby, our heroin, who gets sent to prison for murdering her husband. She sends her son off with her friend, Angie (Annabeth Gish), and proceeds to do her time in prison. Well, low and behold, one day she figures out that Angie has run off to San Francisco with, surprise, surprise, her “dead” husband. One of the inmates explains to her that when she gets out of prison she can feel free to find her “husband” and shoot him in the head, in the middle of Times Square even, and she can’t be tried for his murder due to the double jeopardy clause in the US Constitution. True, but probably not, this leaves Libby open for her drive to find her husband, but all she ends up really wanting is to get her son back.

She ends up getting out of prison and finds her parole officer Travis (Tommy Lee Jones), who really just wants her to be good. Well, she’s not, in fact doing a little breaking and entering, resisting arrest, breaking parole, and sending Travis on a cross-country chase while she tracks down her “husband” and her son. Travis is getting torn because he is starting to believe her story that her husband isn’t dead, but he knows he still has a job to do. In keeping with Hollywood happiness, and I’ll spoil it for you, Libby ends up getting her son and is cleared of all charges. Yippee!! And that’s enough plot summary.

“Alright, Dude, if the movie was so predictable and the plot pretty stupid, how come 4 ½ stars?” Well, internet reader, I’ll tell you.

First off there were a lot of scenes that brought some good laughs. The time Libby spent in jail was enjoyable on the screen. The inmates that befriend her are full of funny advice and the advice just before the parole hearing was humorous. Secondly there is a scene where this dude in the library starts helping Libby do some internet searching while trying to pick her up. She likes his assistance buts needs nothing of his advances. What better way to get rid of an annoying dude than to explain that you’ve been in jail for the last six years for killing your husband. And not finally, but also, there are plenty of funny exchanges from both Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd that, well, just made me laugh. So even though a supposed action/thriller, I found myself laughing more than in suspense, but enjoying it nonetheless.

“Alright, Dude, the movie made you laugh, and that sounds like maybe a 3 ½ star movie. Where’d the other star come from?”

Well, you’re right on that one, in terms of a movie it was about 3 ½ stars, but in being the male that I am, the pleasure of seeing Ashley Judd in assorted tight outfits, acting well, and also getting naked, hmm, call me a pig, but that earns another star. Yea, I know it’s petty and maybe even blows credibility out of a review rating, but it made “Double Jeopardy” just a little bit better for me.

Could this movie have been a great movie even without Ashley getting naked? Not in its present form, but maybe with a different twist to the story. I’m thinking what might have been a better film would have been something like this: The beginning is the same, but when Libby gets out of jail they would have her find her husband in Times Square, lets say on New Year’s Eve, and she blows his brains out. Let’s shift the movie from an action/suspense to a drama by having a court battle challenging this supposed hole in the “Double Jeopardy” clause. I’m pretty sure she’d end up back in jail, but at least there wouldn’t have been so many opportunities for the movie clichés. Just my two cents.

Anyway, I stand behind my 4½ stars. I was entertained and the folks in the theater I was in seemed to come out entertained. Oh well!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Big Year

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:40 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Big Year
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Owen Wilson, Steve Martin, Jack Black
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
Release Date: January 31, 2012
Kiddie Movie: It’s safe for them, but not too funny.
Date Movie: My wife fell asleep, but thought the parts she was awake for were okay.
Gratuitous Sex: Some talk and hints but no one gets it on.
Gratuitous Violence: Just some slapstick, birding violence.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Chuckles.
Memorable Scene: There is a touching scene with Brad and his dad.
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: David Frankel
Cool Things About the Blu-ray: “The Bird Migration” featurette about the making of what kind of cool.

It’s a movie that has three, comedic powerhouses in the likes of Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson. It’s a movie that is ripe for making fun of a culture many might find odd – namely birding. It’s a movie that’s rated PG? Uh oh. It’s “The Big Year.”  Okay, maybe not that big of an “Uh oh,” but an “Uh oh,” none-the-less.

So, it turns out a “Big Year” in the birding world has to do with an informal competition among birders (people who like to spot birds), in trying to spot the most species of bird in a period of time.  For our movie, the lead Big Year-er is Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson).  For our movie we have two other main characters, Brad (Jack Black) and Stu (Steve Martin). Brad is in a dead-end, no fun job, Stu is the elder statesman of a company and looking to retire, and Kenny is a lost soul whose relationships always fall apart because he likes birds.

And so it’s a new year, and for a movie length we get to see our three birders travel the countryside in search of birds, and the competition is fierce.  Yup, things start out kind of calm, with the birders calling a magical phone number telling them where the next, magical sighting seems to be, and they all flock to the various locals. They are cordial, nice even, until it starts to come out that they are trying to get the Big Year record, currently held by Kenny.  Kenny, of course, doesn’t like this, and some trickery starts to happen.  And all along hilarity is supposed to ensue, or at least lessons about life.

Here’s the thing – I felt like “The Big Year” wanted so much to be like a mockumentary about birders, kind of like the movie “Best in Show,” but sadly it tried to keep things a little too nice, namely the PG rating, to push the funny to the next level, which is too bad because Wilson, Black, and Martin do their best to be their funny best – it’s just the movie can’t get there.

It’s not that I didn’t like “The Big Year,” because I sort of did, but I just wanted more.  It was a nice enough movie to hang out on a couch and relax for an evening, and it’s kid safe if you want them around, but don’t expect a lot of hilarity, just some chuckles along the way to find out who actually has the “big year.” 2 ½ stars out of 5.

As far as the Blu-ray, as a lot of birding is scenic-oriented, it looks beautiful, and is beautifully shot, so it will look great on your big-screen.  The deleted scenes are probably better off deleted, the gag reel isn’t that funny (I’m finding that most movie-people can’t put together a decent gag reel), but if you do want a nice explanation of how the movie was made, it does have a great featurette called “The Bird Migration” to help along.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!