Tag: Sean Connery

Entrapment

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:50 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Entrapment
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Nothing really bad.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: No. Damn.
Gratuitous Violence: Nothing gratuitous.
Action: The scenes where they actually go to steal things are cool.
Laughs: Nothing really.
Memorable Scene: Zeta-Jones contorting around the laser beams.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jon Amiel

If you’re a dude I have two words, or is it technically three words, as to why go see “Entrapment”: Catherine Zeta-Jones. “Hubbalabubbalaboomskee” I can still see her slithering her way while avoiding the laser beams. If you’re a dudette, well, Sean Connery is in it, but I make no judgment on him. But is the movie any good? Not great, but not bad either.

“Entrapment” deals with two thieves, Gin (Zeta-Jone) and Mac (Connery), both seemingly set on not so much the challenge anymore of stealing things, but more on the challenge of who holds the record for the biggest score. Gin has the plan – a bank transfer that puts most fears of the Y2K bug to reality, but she needs Mac’s help to pull it off, so in cahoots they go. Gin starts the movie by seemingly trying to set up Mac to get busted by stealing some Chinese mask, posing as an insurance investigator, but I’ll spoil a little of the movie by saying she has another agenda, and eventually Mac finds out that it’s an 8 billion dollar agenda. So, Mac’s in, but he has another agenda, too, the least of which is trying not to get in Gin’s pants (it’s bad for partners to get emotionally involved says Mac), and the movie goes on from there.

Storywise what else is there to tell? It is basically a movie about two, high-tech thieves set to pull off the biggest caper ever. We get to see some really cool ways to steal things, we get to see Zeta-Jones contort her body every which way, and they even throw in some twists and turns as to the real motive behind the actions of the major players in the movie. Other than that the movie didn’t do anything for me.

I’ll give “Entrapment” 2 ½ stars out of 5. It’s an okay movie to see, but nothing spectacular.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!

The Avengers

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s It’s too long. Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Avengers
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Kiddie Movie: They’d probably laugh at the giant teddy bears, but I’d leave them at home anyway.
Date Movie: Only if you hate her.
Gratuitous Sex: None, damn.
Gratuitous Violence: A stabbing, some killer mechanical bees, but nothing horrible.
Action: Ehh.
Laughs: Stupid ones.
Memorable Scene: Every outfit Uma had on.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jermiah Chichik

I’ve watched a few episodes of the original “Avengers” TV show, but that seems like so long ago that I don’t really remember it much. With that, I have no comparison of the movie out in theaters to the TV show, so I can’t spend half of my review doing so. In that case I’ll just get right to it and say that unless you lust over Uma Thurman, want to see guys in giant teddy bear suits, or want to sit in your seat for an hour and a half wondering why there are no cars on the road, don’t go see “the Avengers.”

Alright, the movie isn’t that bad, it’s just that there is nothing to really have me try to tell you that you should spend your hard-earned dollar on seeing it. Want the story – here we go: Sean Connery plays a disgruntled scientist who has found a way to control the weather. Ralph Fiennes plays John Steed, the secret agent, and Uma Thurman plays Emma Peel, the sexy doctor who can also kick some ass. Oh, yea, you also get a cloning topic thrown in there. So, yea, you guessed it, the disgruntled scientist threatens to ruin the world unless he gets a lot of cash, and somehow it’s up to Steed and Peel to save the world. I remember another story-line about a weather dominator, it was for the soap opera “General Hospital,” and, quite frankly, I liked the GH story-line better because at least with that you knew what to expect, “the Avengers” just left me wondering.

See, I sat there wondering why there seemed to be no cars on the road except Steed’s, the bad guys, the Ministry’s secret bus, and, well, that’s about it, and when the bridge got blown out by a tornado or wave (I can’t remember) my thought was “Well, it’s not like they needed it anyway.” Then I found it more amusing than anything with the scientists all decked out in these giant teddy bear outfits so neither would know who the other was. Then I wondered what year it was supposed to be because they had pretty cool computer technology yet drove cars that seemed older than me. I also wondered why only a few people carried guns. I guess I just sat there wondering a lot, and really happy that I just went to a matinee.

The quick things I read on the internet before going to see this movie talked about how the movie was choppy, how there was no chemistry between Uma and Ralph, but that the shooting of the film looked good. Yea, so be it, say what you want, but I was disappointed in two things really. One, if you’re having a movie made in the 90’s (not set in the 90’s, but made in the 90’s) about a weather dominator, and the destruction it can cause, how about some better effects shots of Mom Nature reeking havoc, rather than just a lame snow-storm. Two, as much as I couldn’t believe it, Sean Connery couldn’t pull off the disgruntled scientist/bad guy role. I guess I can’t blame Connery’s acting, I think it was just the character in general was so lame.

Was it supposed to be an attempt at British style humor trying to appeal to the American crowd? Was it supposed to be kinda goofy, sort of like I vaguely remember the old series? Was it supposed to be entertaining? To all of these questions, well, I just don’t know.

So, what does “the Avengers” get? It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5. For a movie with so much potential it just really let me down.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!